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hongjoong is proud to call seonghwa his mother, knowing biologically he is not- although there was one instance where he had to sit down with the younger and explain that 'no, you did not come from hwa's belly nor were you in hwa's belly'
he loves to talk about hwa at school and especially loves to brag about how cool hwa is and how he always makes him feel happy and gives the best hugs.
he'll even brag to his hyungs just how cool his hwa is- contrary to belief, the guys know deeply how goofy the eldest can be, but overall always has the best intentions.
he just loves having seonghwa in his life as his caregiver- his #1 support system, his nurse when he gets boo boos, his teacher for when he's learning new things, his artist when he wants to paint.
but more importantly- his mama. ever since the adoption, hongjoong has grown more comfortable with calling him by that name.
and rarely does he worry about his birth mother- although the feelings will randomly make an appearance and on those days seonghwa becomes hongjoong's mama and comforts him at his own pace with the reassurance that he is here to stay.
for seonghwa, he's over the moon; to have someone to comfort, to nurture, to teach and to grow with. ask him 2 years ago and he definitely would have not expected to be a parent of a hybrid, nonetheless one who is on the younger side.
he definitely would have been scared and overwhelmed; needless to say he was. but hongjoong made everything feel so easy that he didn't realize he was slipping into the role of a caregiver, soon-to-be adoptive parent.
however, it's not always sunshine and butterflies. there are days where hongjoong will be more emotional than usual and would have a hard time using his words, refusing to leave seonghwa's arms.
he has a fear of abandonment and even though seonghwa reminds him everyday that if he leaves, he always comes back, it doesn't settle right with hongjoong and he needs constant reassurance that his mama will come back home.
one of seonghwa's biggest fears is hongjoong being made fun of- being abandoned by his birth mother, never even knowing of his birth father, and has gotten adopted by his caregiver.
it has happened once, and luckily seonghwa was there to diffuse the fire before the flame grew brighter. needless to say, seonghwa would go through hell and back for hongjoong.
but seonghwa however never thought he'd be the one who would be getting judged or made fun of.
--------
"joongie, come hold my hand!" the kitten smiles, grabbing onto the hand held out for him.
jones smiles when he feels hongjoong place his hand in his. ever since the playground incident, the fox hybrid has been sticking close to the kitten hybrid during outside playtime.
sometimes hongjoong like to run around and let his energy out, but for the most part, the younger prefers to sit in the warm sun and roll around in the grass.
(seonghwa can't count how many times he's found shriveled flowers stuffed in the younger's pocket when he's doing laundry.)
the sun is shining warmly on the two hybrids, nothing but blue skies above them. jones carefully picks out the wildflowers on the grass, while hongjoong tries his best to put them in his pocket without squishing them.
"do you think your mama keeps the flowers you give him?" asks the fox, covering his face with his hand to shield the sun. he uses his other hand as shade for the kitten's face when he looks up.
"uh huh!" hongjoong says proudly "mama safe f'yower..."
he's so focused on trying to fit them in his pocket, that he didn't notice the small pile jones made on the side.
"my momma keeps it in her book! she says it's so she doesn't lose her page!" jones smiles while gently holding the flower. just like the kitten, he's enamored by everything his mother does.
"mama ta'e me to par'...wan' f'yowers." hongjoong mumbled more towards himself. he was so determined to gift the flowers to seonghwa, he almost missed when his teacher called them to return to the classroom.
it was a lot of flowers, and hongjoong whined knowing that his teacher prefers not to have them in the class. so, he hides them under a big leaf under a bush. no one will know it's there and he can give them to the elder when he picks him up.
"joongie! hurry, dear, it's time to come inside!" she calls out, her voice is like honey to his ears. he smiles when he grabs her extended hand.
-
"it's alright, dear, you know mama is coming soon." hongjoong's teacher hands him his blanket as he uses the fabric to wipe away any stray tears.
as it reaches the end of the day and a few of his classmates begin to leave, the kitten feels a little on the sensitive side- he just misses his mama. but he was reminded by hwa himself and his teacher that today seonghwa is going to be coming a little later than usual.
which now results in an upset kitten watching everyone get picked up by their mommies and daddies and he has to sit impatiently as neither of them are seonghwa.
at first, hongjoong wanted to be secluded by himself. but as time progresses and the clouds in the sky grew darker, he quietly makes his way towards his teacher shyly asking to be held.
she accepts with open arms, walking around the room and talking about their day to distract him from the upcoming storm. he sifts through the blanket, hiding his face and his ongoing tears.
"I know it's a little different, but I'm here to keep you safe until mama comes." she places a soft kiss on the top of his head to soothe him.
by now, he'd be home most likely playing or helping hwa cook dinner. he's never stayed this late before and it's messing up his schedule a little bit. the younger lets out a small yawn, growing fussy by the minute.
to pass the time, she hands him his pacifier and let's him choose from one of her teacher books to look at.
and it works miraculously, it would have been a little difficult to soothe him when it's clear all he needs is his mama.
the pull of the classroom door is heard and hongjoong mewls softly at who entered the room.
"oh, baby, mama is here...I know I'm late, but I'm here now." seonghwa holds his arms out for the younger and almost loses his balance with the force of the kitten running into them.
he holds him protectively, can't help but hold his guard up just a small amount whenever the younger is feeling this way. he rocks him back and forth, leaning his cheek on the top of his head. "It's going to start raining pretty bad soon, are you ready to go home?"
in one of his quiet moods, he doesn't respond, just buries his head in seonghwa's neck. as he bids farewell to his teacher, she abruptly stops him. "you know all day you're all he talks about, sometimes even in his sleep when he's napping."
the older smiles "I appreciate you being so gentle towards him in your care...I hope he's doing good listening when I'm not around."
"he definitely does, absolutely no worries there...but I must say, the way you've been raising him, you are doing an amazing job...you're a very good mother." she smiles at what she said and goes to gently rub hongjoong's arm. "I'll see you next week, dear."
as seonghwa drives home, he sneaks glances at the younger who's trying his best to stay awake but is growing fussy. he tries to keep himself occupied by playing with the zipper of his backpack.
"mama...'ome?"
"we're almost there, lovebug." seonghwa reassures, quickly leaning over to press a kiss on his forehead. "we're almost there..."
hongjoong smiles, feeling safe and content whenever he's near his mama.
--------
"do you think I'm a good parent?"
simultaneously a clatter of utensils are dropped onto the glass dinner plates, a few short gasps follow after.
"who said you weren't?!"
"was it that lady one time in the grocery store?!"
"I'll go find her if you want me to-"
"-yeah, I'm right behind you...there was also that one guy at the-"
"-GUYS!"
his tone even made hongjoong stop eating. he's never really heard seonghwa shout, only playfully or when he's excited. It makes him think that he's done something wrong and he's getting a scolding; which he absolutely is not a fan of.
"sor'y mama..." his voice sounds wet and when he looks over, his eyes are in the same condition.
immediately seonghwa pushes his chair out and holds his arms out, instantly being met with the younger on his lap in tears.
"awe, baby no, mama was not raising his voice at you, you did absolutely nothing wrong." he pats his bottom to calm him down. "you are mama's good boy."
as he's rubbing his back in comfort, seonghwa turns his attention towards his friends sitting at the dining table.
"nobody said anything to me...it's just I don't know...sometimes I look back at the things I've done and now I think 'I could have done that better' or 'why did I do that?' ya know?"
a heavy sigh escapes his lips proving that this has been heavy on seonghwa's mind lately.
"what do you mean?" asks yunho.
the eldest takes a moment to collect his thoughts. surely this a conversation he didn't want to have with hongjoong in the room, but he feels as if this is a good time to share his thoughts.
"I remember at my old job, I was told I'm doing everything wrong with hongjoong- making him use a pacifier, bottles, even sometimes pull-ups. when they take one look at him, they think he's just like you and me- an adult. I've explained numerous of times that yes, he looks like one because of his height but you cannot judge a book by it's cover."
he looks down at the kitten in his arms who's nuzzling into the crook of his neck, sniffling quietly. the elder smiles softly when he offers the younger his hand- hearing faint purrs as he contently nuzzles against it.
"I don't know why but it's all stuck in the back of my head and sometimes it just hurts me to think...am I really raising him wrong? am I helping or harming him?"
wooyoung is the first to stand up from his seat, inwardly cringing at the sound of the chair scuffing the floor. "you can not let what they said get to you...they don't understand what hongjoong has been through, and quite frankly, I'm not sure even if we really fully understand." he stops to motion his arms between him and where yunho is sitting.
"my point is, hyung, that yes what they said is hurtful and just plain rude, but you did exactly what you had to do in order to gain hongjoong's trust- you gave him his own blanket, pacifier and even let him use a bottle which most people wouldn't have done to help soothe himself."
this time it's yunho that stands up, eyes following the tallest hyung. "you pretty much had to start from scratch- potty training, learning colors and shapes, even spelling his name. when san and I first met him, oh gosh, he wanted absolutely nothing to do with us. but now look at him."
there was a pause for hongjoong was lightly tugging on seonghwa's shirt, wanting to finish eating his dinner but also wanted to make sure his mama was feeling better.
helping the younger sit back in his chair, seonghwa smiles. "my mother said once that I gave hongjoong another chance at life, and he'll always be grateful for that. I've been trying to think with that mindset, but it's just hard sometimes."
"and nobody said parenting is easy, hyung." wooyoung walks over, placing his hands on his shoulders gently. "but you always have a strong support system surrounding you and hongjoong...don't ever forget that."
the older looks up at the younger, a small smile forming. "that's very wise of you to say, wooyoung."
he snorts "oh pa-lease, I'm not always just crazy ideas and high energy..." he ruffles his hyung's hair a little, leaning his head on his affectionalty. "and besides, can you imagine him being in someone else's care? it's like it was fate that he came in all of our lives...isn't that right, our sweet starlight?" he boops the youngers nose lightly, bringing him out of his little bubble while he was eating.
he's luckily met with giggles and not whines of annoyance- hongjoong does not like to be disturbed when he's eating.
"I say we call a group hug! joongie come really quick!" wooyoung is met with a small pout, not before seonghwa whispers to hug his hyungs really quick and then he can finish eating his dinner.
the eldest smile going to stand up, quickly caught up with 3 bodies colliding into his- of course not being too rough with the baby in their group hug.
"let's finish eating so we can start our movie marathon, boys." seonghwa announces, but not before leaving a kiss on top of hongjoong's forehead.
--------
[1 week later]
"okay, baby, make sure you stay with one of your hyungs, yes?"
seonghwa earns a nod in response, strong smile spread across the younger's face.
today is the day that san and wooyoung watch over the younger, but even though seonghwa canceled last minute because he's home, the couple decided to let the eldest join them. he figures there's no harm; and he can see what the duo do with the kitten while he's at work.
on the drive here, hongjoong was ecstatic due to going to his favorite place but also having seonghwa accompany them- also having him sit in the backseat definitely made hongjoong giggle and purr with delight.
seonghwa himself is surprised when he sees them pull up into the parking lot of the mall that's closest to their house.
hongjoong...likes coming here? he's genuinely surprised because normally shopping malls tends to be busy and loud. but he's not one to discourage his baby, especially when he seems over the moon about the idea.
he could most likely use a nice distraction from his thoughts...and what better way than to spend it with his baby and his friends?
"he really likes to come here?" seonghwa asks the hyungs, allowing the kitten to grab onto his extended hand.
san nods, doing a quick double take before locking the car door. "yeah, sometimes we'll take him at this time of the day because it's normally not busy so it's easy for him to manage."
"plus, joong really loves to sit and watch the fountain." wooyoung adds, smile plastered on his face.
the group make their way inside the mall and to seonghwa's surprise, there's barely any people here. he feels warmth bloom in his chest due to the fact that the couple most likely did their research for the sake of hongjoong's comfort and safety.
while hongjoong runs off with san into one of the stores, seonghwa decided to sit on one of the benches and retrieves from his bag his most recent purchase from the bookstore.
he feels someone take the spot next to him, automatically sensing it's wooyoung- who's slightly leaning over to peak at the hardcover book in his lap.
"positive parenting: an essential guide ... allow them to make choices, be honest, apologize when you've wronged them, respect their space ... hyung, what's with this?" wooyoung looks up from the book towards the eldest.
seonghwa sighs "I'm just..." he carefully places the dried flowers joong gifted him inbetween the pages and closes the book "I don't know...I've just been feeling not so great with my parenting choices, I've been doing a lot of reflecting."
"like what?"
before he answers, he glances back at the entrance of the store san and the younger entered only to turn back to his friend "well a lot of things...should I start looking for services to help with his speech? should I just let him go cold turkey on his pacifier and just let him drink out of a regular cup and not a sippy cup anymore?"
wooyoung places his hand on top of seonghwa's lap, he rubs his thumb in a circular motion for comfort. "well I for one find the way he talks very endearing, not that that helps the situation...but I believe a little birdie told you that's there's no "correct" way on raising a child; and more importantly, hongjoong was brought up from a not so loving environment, so realistically you have to start from square one."
the eldest let out a staggered breath. he hates that he's in this mentality where he's questioning every little parenting choice- sometimes when joong is nervous or sad, and his pacifier isn't in arms length, he'll suck on the skin of hwa's neck...should he have shut that down the moment it happened?
or what about all the times he coddles his every little need? if he gets hurt or is just in one of his mushy moods, seonghwa always carries him, holds him close; but that gives seonghwa a sense of comfort himself knowing that his baby is safe in his arms.
he's brought out of his haze by the inconsistent tapping on his forearm "hwa...it's joong...snap out of it!"
he shakes his head a little to see wooyoung now aggressively shaking his arm, shooting up from his spot as he spots his baby running up to them in tears.
the elder immediately wraps his arms around the kitten, rubbing his back. "baby, what happened? where's sannie?"
hongjoong sniffled as he pointed back at the store he just left from. "sannie yell...too y'oud...s'are mama."
what could he possibly mean by that? why was he saying san was yelling? as much as he needs to find out what is going on, he needs to comfort his distressed child.
what worries him the most is san normally doesn't have a temper, but if it was enough for hongjoong to leave the store by himself (which he never does), then surely it must have been something serious.
he grips tighter onto the kitten as the pair make their way towards the store, wooyoung practically running inside looking like a deer in headlights. "my boyfriend...where's my boyfriend?!"
he doesn't have to look far for said person, the sounds of shouting fills the quiet store. immediately wooyoung runs up to him, pulling him gently to the side to calm him down.
much to the younger's dismay, seonghwa places him down. hongjoong grips the back of his shirt aggressively.
"what seems to be the problem?" seonghwa asks the employee of the store, arms are crossed with a smug expression on her face.
she slightly scoffs as she rolls her eyes. "nothing at all, sir." the woman's voice was laced with sarcasm. "this man over here just started yelling at me for no reason." she places her hand over her chest.
minus her sarcasm, seonghwa can tell she's feigning innocence from a mile away. he furrows his eyebrows at the employee.
"-that's because she was being fucking rude about joong!"
seonghwa glanced back over at his friend- who is still trying to be calmed down by his boyfriend- and then back towards the woman. "what did you say?"
she once again rolls her eyes "I simply said that cats are pets, they shouldn't be let out of the house! That simply is just wrong...I don't know who his owner is, but surely they're doing a terrible job..."
seonghwa stood in silence, unable to process what this...stranger just said so casually. that definitely hit a nerve he's been feeling insecure about recently.
he chuckles airly "you know...it's pretty funny" he announces to no one in particular "actually, it's really fucking grand how people like you think they get to make nasty fucking comments on how I'm raising my child."
san and wooyoung have momentarily stopped their bickering to watch their eldest hyung with pity. they knew the hardships seonghwa has been putting on himself lately and this woman's unnecessary comment was the tip of the iceberg.
the youngest made slight grabby hands at hongjoong, the kitten cautiously walks towards wooyoung. he didn't understand what going on- from san yelling to seonghwa shouting...and now saying bad words. "woo...mama say ba' wor' "
the kitten covers his ears slightly, tears pricking at his eyes. he gets nervous when people start shouting and yelling, but can't help but feel himself almost shut down when he hears people cursing- so hongjoong begins to feel his heart sink when it's seonghwa that's doing both; and nothing seems to calm him down.
his eyebrows are still furrowed, his once normally round eyes are now slanted. the elder walks with slow steps towards the employee. "you don't even fucking know me yet here you are thinking you're obligated to comment on my child! clearly him being part kitten and being out in public genuinely offended you so much that you had to run your damn mouth thinking it would fucking help!"
he's mere centimeters away from her face- her once smug expression now completely wiped clean. "this hybrid is so much more than that- he's my family, my son. and you don't know what my family has been through...and you sure as hell have no idea what my baby has been through!"
seonghwa doesn't even give this woman another amount of his time. he sighs pretty loudly rolling his eyes as starts to walk the other direction.
"-oh! and another thing" he spins around with his pointer finger raised in her direction "I'm one hell of a mother and I'm raising him the best way for him! I'm sure as hell not going to let your idiotic comments tell me otherwise!"
before he turns around, he feels someone run up next to him. the way he feels a strong but shaky grip on the back of his shirt, he automatically knew it was hongjoong.
he looks equally strong yet terrified- and that's exactly how he feels. he isn't too fond of talking to strangers, but if they are the cause for seonghwa- as well as san- to be angry and yelling, then he's going to push his ultimate fear down and stand up for his family.
he hastily wipes the tears away with his other shaky hand and tries his best to look intimidating- but fails when his cat ears blend in with his curly hair. "y'eave m-mama a'yone! ma'e my mama sad an'...an' ma'e my s-sannie mad!"
seonghwa feels an utterly proud mom moment with the way hongjoong is trying his best to stand up for him and his hyung. but he definitely doesn't miss the shaky hissing noises and the way he's mixing up his words due to nerves.
at this point, he's too afraid to continue on and whimpers lowly in his throat. seonghwa long forgets about the woman as she grumbles under her breath and slips away before anyone stops her- he's a little surprised that wooyoung wasn't the one who was yelling and causing a scene; but he's just grateful this whole situation didn't turn even more sour.
the moment the woman left, seonghwa clutched at his chest and shifted down to the floor. hongjoong let out a small yelp and followed him down. it hurts him to see the moments where seonghwa cries, he holds his hand as he watches his sannie and woo hyungie work their magic and make his hwa feel better.
"m...mama hur'?" he asks through blurry vision, gripping tightly onto his hand. his heart breaks at the worst case scenario that his hwa is actually in physical pain.
seonghwa takes a deep breath and places a kiss onto the younger's forehead. "no, baby, mama is alright...I think it's time we go home now."
hongjoong helps him stand up and grips onto his arm rather a little too tightly for seonghwa's liking. the walk out of the mall and into the parking lot, the kitten was on high alert for his mama and his hyungs.
"joong, be careful with your mama, okay?" wooyoung gently scolds, eyeing the way he's clutching at the elder's arm.
said kitten pauses in his steps and looks up at the three of them with glistening eyes. "woo...sannie...I p'yoec' m-mommy."
the hyungs share a small smile at the way hongjoong has come out of his shell, with him walking ahead of the elder.
seonghwa smiles and lifts him up in his arms. he peppers multiple little kisses on his face, leaving hongjoong a giggly mess. "you mean the world to me, I feel very blessed that I have you to protect me."
the kitten purrs loudly, enough to send little vibrations throughout seonghwa's body. he happily nuzzles against his mama during during car ride.
-
"we're going to have an impromptu sleepover to make sure you and the baby are okay-"
"-and don't even try to decline! it's too late we already put our stuff away!"
seonghwa smiles warmly, letting out an airy laugh watching the duo playfully bicker about...well, he's not really sure. he hasn't been paying attention.
his mind is occupied by multiple thoughts- all of them revolving around what happened today. it's a rather chilly night for the end of summer, enough for seonghwa to light the fireplace on.
he's curled into the couch with a thin blanket draped over his lap. he nurses a cup of warm tea in his hands as he watches the younger play on the carpet with a chew toy.
he's feeling more thankful than ever that hongjoong didn't seem emotional at the altercation, but rather put his fears aside to help his family and stick up for them.
it saddens him knowing that hongjoong is growing up with society like this- although there's a big majority of people who accept hybrids as children in their household, there will always be that little percentage that view hybrids as pets and need to be leashed when in public (he definitely does not forget the time they went to the bookstore and one of the employees practically hurt his baby.)
"hey...don't get lost up there now." seonghwa recognizes san's voice coming into earshot, tapping lightly at his head. "how are you doing?"
seonghwa let's out a soft sigh. he sips at his tea before placing the mug on the end table. "I think I'm alright...I just wasn't expecting that to happen today."
"yeah..." san agrees "I don't think any of us were to be honest."
"joong got really scared because he saw you shouting and yelling, and to be fair, I would as well." seonghwa picks at a lose string from the blanket to semi distract himself. "are you alright?"
the shorter looks at his hands momentarily before nodding his head. "yeah...I just don't know what came over me. it was just how she was looking at him with such disgust it made me sick."
the elder places his hand on the younger's knee gently "I appreciate you standing up for joong..."
"hyung, I have a question for you?" san's voice is quiet and small.
"ask away"
"do you...do you not think you're a good mother?"
seonghwa pauses at turning to grab his mug and turns back around to face san. but before he opens his mouth to speak, san places his hand in front of him. "-cause I totally think you are! you're so attentive and nurturing that I'm happy you have hongjoong to care for. you're just like my mom when I was a baby."
a shy timid smile grows on the elders face "well thank you, sannie dear. it's been a little rough, sometimes I feel like I could do better sometimes...or like what I do isn't as helpful as I think it is...I look back at year ago, I had absolutely no clue on what I was doing! I don't know...but it just hurts the most during the times where I can't get joong soothed or calmed down. In those moments, I feel like a failure."
san wipes at the stray tear that fell from his eye. he wipes at another, then another until he ultimately pushes him in for a hug, letting his hyung's tear soak into his shirt. "It's valid to feel this way. although wooyoung and I aren't parents, I understand how difficult and overwhelming it can get at some times."
hongjoong pauses mid-chew at the sounds of sniffling and small gasps of air; and to his dismay, it's his mama that's crying. on instinct, he lets out a small gasp as he drops his toy. joong runs up to where his mama and sannie are hugging on the couch.
"mama! why sa'?"
the kitten slightly whimpers when he sees his mama's face all red with splotches of tears streaming down. immediately, he hugs his mama tightly; even trying his best to rub at his back.
"no y'ike mama sa'..." he mumbles out, which due to the way seonghwa is gripping onto the hug, he's not sure if he even heard him.
it does however bring a smile to his hyungs face the way joong is the one who's comforting hwa. whenever the elder let's out a small cry, joong is there to hug him tighter.
"joong, my baby." seonghwa lifts his head up, subtly wiping his tears on his sleeve. "baby, do you think I'm a good mommy?"
hongjoong gasps at what the elder said and immediately nods his head. this time he feels tear pricking at his eyes. "mama the bes'! he ni'e an' sof'...mama ma'e me happy. I y'ove you, mama."
the kitten mewls a little when he hears seonghwa is crying again. he doesn't like seeing or hearing him cry, but tries his best to copy the elder's notions of when he's the one comforting joong.
suddenly he feels another pair of arms wrapped around his shoulders; and from the scents, it's his sannie and woo hyung joining them.
with the sound of the firewood crackling, the 4 of them enjoy the comfort of each other; but joong holds on just a little tighter to his mama. he hopes hwa feels as safe as he does.
-
"thank you for making me feel better, I appreciate it, my lovie." seonghwa smiles as he throws the comforter over his and hongjoong's body.
said younger is trying his best to stay awake, especially if he has his trusty pacifier in his mouth. he plops it out to smile at his mama. "I y'ove you, s-syon...hwa...bes' mama e'ber!"
the elder tries to blink the tears away. he's rather impressed that joong remembers how to say his full name. seonghwa holds him closer in his arms "you make me feel safe and happy, I'm forever grateful that you're in my life and I'm your mama...my sweet baby joong always makes mama feel better."
the youngers response was a small yawn, eyes beginning to droop. he doesn't wanna fall asleep just yet until he knows that seonghwa is feeling better.
before laying down, he wipes at the elder's stray tears and plants a big kiss on his cheek. in the blink of an eye, seonghwa is sound asleep with his baby wrapped in his arms.
just as hongjoong is about to go to sleep, something on the dresser in front of the bed catches his eyes. he looks closer to see it's a small vase filled with what looks like the exact same flowers he picked out on the playground a while ago.
"do you think your mama keeps the flowers you give him?"
the kitten smiles to himself. he'll protect his mama like how seonghwa protects the flowers he picked for him.