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I walked into the cafeteria making a point not to glance over to the cullens old table where I assumed alice would be sitting. I bought myself some lunch and headed towards a table that was usually empty. I ignored the concerned glances from my friends at our usual table, I was in no mood for conversation, let alone the dozens of questions they were bound to have about the absence of edward, my several hours as a missing person, and my condition when I had been found, which I knew Mike at least had seen first hand.
I was in no mood for food either I mused as i walked but eating was better than having free time and Charlie would worry if I didnt eat. he was already worried enough after the last 36 hours and it was for his sake that I had forced myself out of bed this morning and into my usual routine.
I had been watching the floor as i walked and so I didn't realise that anyone was sitting at the table I'd headed for until i sat down. I looked up from my tray to find myself looking directly at alice. the shock was like a Jolt to the chest or maybe a punch to the gut.
"what do you want" I demanded harshly. edward had made it clear that alice and i were no longer friends and no small part of the previous days tears were due to that fact. I was in no mood to be played with.
alice's face crumpled.
"I want to know what I did wrong." she said morosely.
she sounded like she would be crying if she could. I felt confused.
"what are you talking about." I asked the hostile tone washed away by the confusion "who says you did anything wrong?"
"well if I didn't do anything wrong then why dont you want to be friends with me anymore" alice retorted
this whole situation was making less and less sense.
"its hardly about what I want is it" I said bitterly staring uninterestedly at my food
"I dont follow" I glanced up, alice looked as confused as I felt
"edward told me to leave you all alone." I explained
"he did what." alice thundered suddenly , I shushed her looking round to see if we had been overheard , several people were looking our way.
"why did he say to leave us alone" alice demanded more quietly recapturing my attention
"he said that you dont want to know me anymore."
"what" alice kept her voice down this time but the outrage in it was clear, I felt slightly hopeful
"thats utter rubbish", she continued after a moment "I love you like a sister. you know that. how could you doubt that" alice glowered while I digested this news, I felt relived but something still didnt make sense.
"what were you on about before" I asked "about me not wanting to be friends, why did you think that"
"Edward told US to lead YOU alone" alice explained "he said that you wanted nothing to do with any of us anymore" .
"bull" I blurted too loud, people turned to look again. alice smiled hopefully.
'I get the feeling edward has been trying to manipulate us all" observed alice."
"it sounds like it" I agreed beginning to feel angry with edward
"how would you feel about coming to our house after school to sort all this out." Alice asked tentatively
"sure" I agreed willingly
alice grinned then leaping up, she danced off to call carlilse and ask him to be home after school. I started to eat my lunch my apatite had returned.
alice followed me home after school so that i could drop off my truck and school bag, while i was in the house i called Charlie at the station.
“Hey dad” I said when he picked up
“Hey bells is everything alright” he sounded concerned I didnt normally call him at work .
“Yeah, everything is fine" I reasured him quickly "alice came to me today it sees there’s been some sort of misunderstanding, she wants me to go over to their place to sort it all out, i thought I should let you know so you don’t worry when you get home and I’m not here”
Charlie was silent for a minute
“Do you want to go bells”
“Yeah”
“Alright then,”
“Can you sort out your own dinner” i asked
“Yah that’s fine ill get a pizza or something”
“Thanks dad”
”no problem kiddo, see you later ”
alice drove me to her house in the volvo. edward had left it behind alice explained, preferring to take his aston martin when he left. I didnt know what sort of car that was but alice informed me that it was very rare and very fast.
alice had adopted the volvo keeping it the comute car for school as it was the most nondescript of the cullens collection
Carlile was waiting for Alice when we pulled up and frowned when he saw me.
"alice what have you been up to" he asked disapprovingly "we agreed to respect bellas wishes and leave her alone."
"but that isn't bellas wishes" explained alice
"Edward lied to us all."
"surely not" Carlile objected
"lets go in so we can work it all out." sugested Alice leading the way cartilse and I followed her in and found that esme must have been listening. she had a drink and a plate of biscuits waiting on the coffee table for me
"thank esme" I smiled sitting down and turning to carlise
. "so what did edward tell you" I asked getting right to it
"he told us that he had spoken to you and explained that he was leaving. he said that you had admitted that you had always been
nervous of us all and after what happened with Jasper you had become scared and didn't want to see us again, especially without edward ".
I choked on my drink with shock and indignation.
"what!" I spluttered trying to cough and talk at the same time, Alice banged me on the back and I took a moment to breathe
"scared of you! ive never been the slightest bit scared of any of you. even right in the beginning. and as for Jasper he couldut help it and there were quite enough of you to handle the situation . the only issue I saw was edward overreacting and throwing me into that damn table"
alice chuckled,
"of course I still want to know you all, if you still want to know me"
"why wouldn't we asked esme gently "what did edward tell you."
"he said that you don't usually socialise with humans. that in fact you make a point not to. he said that you had only let me hang around here because I was with edward. but now that he was leaving you would rather I stayed away so that you could get back to normal."
"thats completely untrue" insisted carlillse "you might have entered this world because of edward but you are one of us in your own right now and more than welcome to remain so."
"well said carliise" chimed in esme
"I knew we would be friend long before you and edward were together explained alice and that hasnt changed.''
"you saw me didnt you? edward didnt admit it as such but I got the feeling"
"yeah I saw you" alice said smiling now
“And Edward didnt like some of the things you saw did he”
Before alice could answer a voice spoke front the kitchen doorway
“You should think carefully before deciding to continue to associate with us Bella”
It was Jasper, he was three steps into the room and wearing a troubled expression
“You know I wouldn’t blame you if you were afraid of me” he finished looking down. I got up and walked towards him, he looked up at the sound of my aproach
“Ive already said I’m not afraid of any of you, that includes you Jasper”
he did not reply to my words
"keep your distance I dont trust my corntrol at the minute"
I ignored him. He backed up until his back was against the wall but i kept moving forwards not stopping until i was right inside his personal space.
"im not afraid of you" I persisted defiantly
Alice and Carlile were both on their feet and ready if needed but also giving me space to handle the matter my wary
“You should be” he cautioned “I’m too dangerous for you to be around”
“What’s the worst that could happen” i challenged
“I could kill you, I almost killed you the other night”
“You lost control and tried to kill me, I corrected, emmett caught you before you got anywhere near me, I wouldn’t have even been hurt if Edward hadn’t overreacted.”
“I could kill you right now”
“Again no you couldn’t, look around the others are more than close enough to stop you even with us this close ”
“They aren’t close enough to stop me biting you", he persisted ,and when I continued to look untroubled he added
"I wouldn’t be going for your hand if i struck Bella, I’d be going for your throat” I shrugged.
“The others are still more than close enough to pull you off me before you could take enough blood for you to kill ” I was not going to back down on this.
"but a neck isn’t a hand, there would be no chance to suck the venom back out from a major artery”
I shrugged again “so i end up changing A little sooner than I’d like, i mean sure it would be inconvenient but not the end of the world”
Alice chuckled, i ignored her i already knew she had seen me as a vampire,
“I told you so” she murmured quietly to nobody in particular
Carlisle addressed me then
“You have thought about becoming a vampire” he asked
I wasn’t surprised that Edward hadn’t relayed our debates on the subject I hadn't expected him to.
“Well yeah” i told Carlisle “When i was with Edward it was obvious to me that i would have to be changed eventually, it was the only way I would have been able to stay with him. I asked him loads of times to change me but he always said no. It didnt bother me too much, I wasn’t in any rush and I figured if push came to shove i would come to you”
“Interesting’ Carlisle mused
“Alice has seen me as a vampire” i said “haven’t you” i turned to her seeking backup
“Yup” she grinned
“Yes alice has told us about that vision," calilse admitted
"but Edward never said you had discussed it. we assumed if it happened it would likely be as a result of an accident, somebody’s loss of control,"
"I made the decision months ago" I said firmly
"and now that edward is no longer here" Carlisle pressed "are you are still considering it”
“Yes" I said firmly "if the past two days have taught me anything its that even without edward i still want to be part of this family," I looked surely at carlilse
"will you change me at some point? ”
Carlisle looked hesitant
“I have no objection to you being part of this famiy, he insisted, as a human or as a vampire but i have never changed anyone who wasn’t already dying. I’m not sure how i feel about the idea”
"its my choice "I pointed out"
"yes but to take your whole life away from you" he tailed off
I wasnt in the mood to get into a debate about wether I would be losing or gaining
“Alice?” I questioned turning to her
“I’m more than happy to change you in theory,” she nodded “but I’m not sure if I have the control, somebody may have to be there to pull me off if needed.”
Carlisle sighed
“You would be safer by far with me, there is no risk of me losing control.” He sighed again “very well, when you are ready i will change you
“Thank you i breathed feeling much lighter than when I had got up.