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People are given special gifts in the world.
Some people are naturally gifted at art or music or sports. Others are great at debate or math or english. It is just how the world works, some people are naturally meant for more.
Tubbo was destined for a future different to all others. He wasn’t a tech wizard or somebody who was super fast. He couldn’t draw or sing or play an instrument.
No, Tubbo couldn’t do any of that.
Tubbo could manipulate time and space. He could travel to the future, go back into the past, jump between the strands of time.
He was given a gift, an ability, something to change the world. The stars and the divinity up above chose him.
He didn’t know this at first. For the first 7 years of Tubbo’s life he had no clue that he had this power running through his veins. He lived a life like any child would. Tubbo smiled and laughed and he was a kid at the end of the day.
He got to play on the playgrounds and go to school and live life like anyone would. He was allowed to be dumb and make friends and fall off of the slides.
He was a kid.
Then he wasn’t.
He barely even remembers what he did wrong. Maybe he didn’t even do anything wrong other than being himself in the first place.
He just wanted to go back for a bit, play a board game a little bit differently than how he did. He remembers jokingly wishing for a do over, a chance to play again.
Next thing he knew, the game was being set up and the words were being repeated and Tubbo was given another chance. He was confused, so he tried to ask his family about it.
That was a mistake. He realizes that now, but at the moment it was the only choice he had. He didn’t have a grasp on his powers, not enough to go back and never tell them about his powers.
So he told them and his parents, they were confused. They didn’t know how he was this way and they were power hungry and quite poor and so they told Tubbo that they were going to send him somewhere to help him learn how to control his powers.
That night Tubbo lost his childhood, he was no longer a kid. He was barely even a person. He was picked up and shipped off to some government facility where he didn’t have autonomy. He was merely a test subject.
He was poked and prodded from that fateful day at 7 until he was 13.
Tubbo was a subject to their testing and he hated it. They would have him go to the future and write down what he saw, they would have him go to the past and warn them of their mistakes. They drew blood to try to learn how to replicate what he had.
They would never learn that only the divine life could truly replicate the gift that Tubbo was given.
They would spend years trying to accomplish the futile and Tubbo would spend years being subject to their ways. They were corrupt and horrible and Tubbo was too young to really leave.
Tubbo probably wouldn’t have left. He probably would have stayed there, their perfect little test subject. He didn’t cry anymore or complain, he barely even spoke. Tubbo was broken and hopeless and the only reason he left was because he wanted to live.
Tubbo overheard a conversation one night. He wasn’t supposed to. He knows this.
He likes to think that that night the stars were looking out for him.
They were talking, and Tubbo was listening.
They were going to kill Tubbo. He was deemed useless. Within the next week, Tubbo would be no more.
That was enough for Tubbo to run.
He had a strong grasp on his abilities, he knew what he needed to do, think and say to get time to manipulate in his hands.
He developed a plan, he was going to get out of there.
He would sneak out, he would ask to go to the bathroom late at night and they would have to oblige. They were cruel, but they always kept him just healthy enough.
So, he went to the bathroom. There was someone standing outside waiting. There always was.
He had plans though. His first was the simplest.
He burst out of the bathroom and sprinted.
He didn’t make it.
So, he tried again.
He was in the bathroom, this time with a metal roll from the toilet paper in his hands. He threw it at the guard. He missed.
He tried again.
This time he tried to crawl out the small bathroom window. He got stuck halfway through and the guard came in to fetch him.
He tried again.
He broke the mirror and grabbed a shard. It broke the skin of his palm and it stung as the blood ran down his hand, but he had to try.
He rushed out of the bathroom, knowing that at this moment the guard would be looking away. Then he did something that earlier he never wanted to do, but this is his fourth attempt and he needs to leave.
He stabs the man quickly in the thigh with the shard of glass before he books it.
From attempt number one he knows not to turn right there will be a guard coming down the hall, so he turns left. He books it and prays and then there is a guard in front of him.
He runs up to him, swings the shard and doesn’t look back to see the damage he has done. He just runs like he has never run before.
He runs and he gasps for air and his legs burn and he stabs more and more guards as they come and he throws open every door possible. He just needs one, one door and everything will fall into place.
So he runs.
There is a trail behind him and he is slowing down and he is getting sloppy but he is running. He smiles, he is running.
Then, he is on the floor.
A guard. He tries again.
He doesn’t go back to the bathroom, he simply goes back to the last turn. He takes the right instead of the left. He opens different doors, he avoids the guards. He is safer.
He runs and then he sees it.
A bright red exit sign hanging above a door at the end of the hallway.
Tubbo runs.
He drops the shard and he runs and there are no guards in this hallway and he thanks the gods above for that.
He knows an alarm will go off as soon as this door opens, but he has to leave. This is his shot. His only chance. Tubbo takes it.
He shoves open the door and doesn’t even allow himself the time to adjust to the light.
An alarm blares behind him, he doesn’t look back.
Tubbo runs.
He feels the breeze through his hair and the sun beaming down on him and the ache in his legs and he runs.
Tubbo hears the alarm and the sound of peoples feet pounding behind him but he doesn’t look back, he cannot waste time like that.
He runs and the sounds come closer, but he keeps running. He needs another option though, he cannot run forever and they have so much stamina.
He runs and he looks at the area around him and he sees a highway and a forest.
He turns into the forest, this is his only choice.
The trees are looming and Tubbo knows that if he wants to make it out he has to get into that forest. He pushes himself farther than he ever has before and he runs.
He runs with everything he has and the forest comes closer and he just needs to get into there so he can hide.
He can do it.
He runs.
The gravel turns to dirt and the dirt turns to grass and the sun becomes covered and he is in the forest. He keeps running though, trying to lose their trail a little before diving into some bush.
The leaves pull at his shirt and scratch his legs and he has to force himself to breathe quietly. He hears the feet, they crunch on the dirt and their heavy and he knows that it is the guards.
He holds his breath.
“Let’s just leave him.”
“The commander wouldn’t be too happy with that.”
“We planned to kill him anyways, he will just die out here.”
“Yeah.”
Tubbo listens as the footsteps begin again and move away from him and he finally lets himself catch his breath.
He breathes and he pants and his legs ache, but he is free.
He is free and he is in a forest and now Tubbo just has to survive.
He can do that. He knows he can. He has been surviving for years now.
He waits in that bush for a while though, paranoid that they are waiting him out. He waits and feels the itchiness of the grass and his butt hurts from the sticks beneath him and when it is finally night time he pulls himself out.
His shirt is ripped and his shorts are stained with dirt, but he smiles.
He smiles for the grass on the ground and the trees swaying in the wind and the stars twinkling in the sky. He breathes in the fresh air that he hasn’t met since he was 7 and he smiles. This is it.
He could die and he would be content in this moment knowing that he got to see the world again. He got to see the outside and breathe in the scent of the dirt and smile and look at the stars just one more time.
He could die, but he also just ran to live, so instead he moves.
He moves back towards the highway, he is careful to avoid the lights and stay in the dark. He moves further down the highway, getting himself as far away from the compound as possible.
He needs civilization, he needs cars and people and a restaurant or gas station.
He needs something.
He walks and it seems futile. He is tired too, but he cannot give up.
He looks into the future.
He is in a gas station. He knows that much. The sky is still dark and there is nobody in here but his future self and the worker.
The worker looks tired, he has brown hair and looks like his about to pass out behind the counter. The light near the door flickers, the third one to be exact, and the tile is red and white and Tubbo commits this all to memory.
Tubbo smiles.
This is it.
He goes back to his timeline.
He keeps walking.
Soon enough, the gas station comes into view. This is it.
He practically runs towards it, ecstatic to have finally found what he was holding out for.
It’s a small gas station. It is desolate and the lights flicker and there is only one car in the lot. One of the windows is broken and it seems like half the gas pumps are too, but this gas station is Tubbo’s saving grace.
He pushes on the glass doors, they have fingerprints all over them and Tubbo wonders if they ever clean them. He figures that they don’t.
He walks in and looks around inside. It is exactly the same. The third light from the door flickers and the tile is red and white and there is a singular worker at the counter.
Tubbo walks forward, he knows that this is what he has got to do. He walks and he finally uses his voice after years of scarcely speaking.
“Hello, do you have a phone or something that I can use?”
The guy picks his head up, just enough for Tubbo to read the tag on his uniform. His name is Wilbur. Tubbo thinks that is a nice name.
“Kid, what are you doing out here alone so late?”
Tubbo sighs, “Can I just get a phone or something?”
“Who do you plan to call?”
That one stumps Tubbo. He doesn’t have anyone to call, not really. His parents abandoned him and he hasn't seen the outside world in like 6 years and if he calls the police they will just take him back.
“Oh. I guess I don’t have anyone.”
Wilbur tilts his head curiously.
“Sorry for wasting your time sir, I’ll be on my way.”
Tubbo turns on his heels, ready to subject himself to more walking until he can hitch a ride with someone into the city where he can just try to survive.
“Wait,” Wilbur calls and Tubbo turns back.
He squints at Wilbur, eyebrows scrunched and mouth downturned as he tries to figure out why Wilbur stopped him.
“What are you running from?”
Tubbo pauses. His heart races and so does his mind. Does Wilbur know? How could he know? There is no way he knows. Right? Right? He cannot know. Tubbo breathes, he has to breathe.
“What?”
“Nobody your age comes into some crumbling gas station looking for a phone if they aren’t running from something.”
Tubbo doesn’t answer at first. He knows he can’t answer honestly. He has learned what honesty will get you.
“Bad foster home.”
It is a complete and utter lie. Tubbo just hopes that it is a believable lie.
“Ah,” Wilbur seems to understand. That scares Tubbo even more. “I was a foster kid. I get it.”
Tubbo begins to think maybe he should have looked a little bit more into the future. He decides to just nod.
Wilbur seems to take that and Tubbo has to physically stop himself from sighing.
“If you hang out here for a bit, at the end of my shift I can drop you off in the city.”
Tubbo thinks his eyes must light up like the stars that twinkle in the pure night sky outside. “Really?”
“Yeah kid, I can’t give you a home, but I can give you a chance.”
Tubbo doesn’t think there is anything more he could say to that, “Thank you. It means the world.”
“I can tell, kid.”
Tubbo smiles, he didn’t know people could be kind in the world. He forgot that kindness exists when all he knew was the cruelty of sterile needles and plain white walls and doctors in scrubs and pain and the smell of cleaning products.
He forgot that not everyone is horrible.
He is free. He is away. He can smile. He can laugh.
He is free.
Wilbur smiles at him, and Tubbo smiles back and that is that.
Tubbo gets to hang around the gas station, occasionally chatting with Wilbur while the clock ticks idly and they wait for the seconds to turn into minutes and the minutes to turn into hours.
And eventually Wilbur is grabbing his keys and shaking Tubbo awake and they are filing into his little silver Kia Optima. The clock on the dash flashes that it is 12:30 and Tubbo thinks that is way too late for anyone to be working but he doesn’t say anything.
He buckles his seatbelt and figures that maybe getting into Wilbur’s car this late at night isn’t smart. He figures that this is a lesson that he might have been taught if he ever got the life he dreamed.
He didn’t get that life though, he got a life of testing and white coats and guards watching his every move. So, he gets into this stranger's car at night and he figures nothing can be worse than what he would’ve been had he stayed.
So he stays, he doesn’t say anything, and he listens to the music softly playing from Wilbur’s stereo. Wilbur hums along and taps his fingers to the wheel and Tubbo thinks that in a different life, he could have been friends with Wilbur.
Tubbo resorts to just looking out the window, taking in the scenery that he has been deprived of for so many years. He looks at the cracks in the roads and the ways the stars disappear as they move closer to civilization.
He watches the forest turn into fields and the fields turn into buildings as the time passes and the car flies. This is nice, he thinks. Tubbo likes to imagine that in a different life he would go on road trips, or have a love of nature so strong from such a young age.
He didn’t live that life though, so instead he will start the love now.
He watches as the lights get bright and more cars arrive on the roads and as people begin to pop up on the streets. He has never seen something like this, not in the 7 years of freedom he had and certainly not in the last 6 years of his life.
Tubbo thinks that the city is nice, maybe not forever. But it is perfectly fine for now.
“Is there anywhere specific you want to be dropped off?”
Tubbo looks over at Wilbur, he analyzes his eyes and the way his mouth moves and his eyebrows scrunch as he drives. “No, I have nowhere to go.”
Wilbur seems to get that. “Okay, I’ll drop you off next to a bus station then. I don’t have much money on me but there should be enough for at least one bus fare.”
Tubbo looks back out the window, there are apartment buildings and clubs and bakeries and just general life outside.
“Why are you being so kind?”
“Because no one did it for me.”
Tubbo decides that he shouldn’t push it. He figures that isn’t a story for him, not now and probably not ever.
“Okay.”
And that is that. Wilbur goes back to driving and Tubbo goes back to staring out the window and eventually the car stops. They are parked now, and there is a bus station down the road and people sitting on the bench.
Wilbur reaches into his wallet and pulls out 10 bucks, holding it out for Tubbo to take.
“Thank you,” he grabs it gingerly, like it might be fake or a rouge.
“It’s no issue. Live a good life kid, I believe in you.”
Tubbo smiles, “You too.”
He gets out of the car, feet touching the concrete, a single bill in his hand and a smile on his face.
He is free.
He walks over to the bus stop and he waves as Wilbur drives away, and he truly hopes that Wilbur will get the life he deserves. That Wilbur will have kindness in his future and that maybe one day, many years from now, that they can meet again.
Tubbo doesn’t know where he should go now. He has 10 dollars and no home or family or anyone really. He can’t work, not legally at least, and he can’t go to school.
He is stuck. He is homeless.
He is free.
He sits on the bench, he reads the routes on the cover that surrounds it and he figures that he doesn’t know the area anyways.
He gets up, this is pointless. He can leave later, but for now he can stay and he can try to survive.
He doesn’t run away, he doesn’t want to seem suspicious, so he walks and he searches for a place to sleep tonight.
He learns that when you don’t have a bed that the options are limited. He learns that maybe the concrete is good enough, and so that is how he ends up curled in a ball on the concrete under some bridge in a nearby park.
It isn’t comfortable by any means, but there is something over his head and he isn’t cold, so it has to be good enough for now.
He won’t complain, he can’t complain. This is better than the life he has had and so he will cherish it and be grateful for the little liberties in life.
He thinks that in the morning, he can figure out what to do with his life. He can figure out where to go and how to get food and how he can get money. He can do that tomorrow.
Right now, he is tired and exhausted and free and he wants to sleep.
He curls into his ball and he tucks his arms around his knees and rests his head uncomfortably on the floor and he closes his eyes. He knows in the morning he will have a crick in his neck and probably his back too, but he also knows that this will be the best rest of his life.
This is his first night being free, living life, seeing the world. That means that this is the first day of the best years in his life.
So, he sleeps and it is painful and he wakes up multiple times, but everytime he cannot help but smile to himself before forcing himself to fall into another fitful sleep. It is a cycle, he sleeps, wakes up, sleeps and wakes up.
It repeats and repeats and then the sun is rising over the horizon and Tubbo can finally justify waking up properly. He has a crick in his neck and his back aches and it was definitely the worst he has slept in recent years.
He expected that though. He knew what would come when he woke up. So, he isn’t upset or grouchy, he is just prepared.
He is prepared to live a life on the streets, finding odd jobs and using that money to get food. He is ready to live in a cycle until he is at least 15 or so. He doesn’t quite know how he will get a job either once he is old enough, he doesn’t know his birthday, he doesn’t have an identity.
He assumes he is declared as dead to everyone that matters and they never celebrated his birthday, he only knew a year had passed on new years so he would just assume he had aged sometime during that period.
Tubbo is nobody in the world. He knows this and he knows eventually he will have to become someone, but for now he can be nobody.
He can be nobody as he roams the streets in an unfamiliar city. Buildings looming above him and people brash and uncaring as he wanders the roads. He goes in and out of stores, trying to get any kind of job just for the day.
People aren’t as kind as Wilbur.
He keeps trying though, he walks and roams and enters and exits and tries again.
He is always trying again.
He never gives up, he can’t. He wouldn’t be alive if he gave up. So, he tries again.
He goes in and out, he asks and begs and pleads and to no avail. Time after time he is turned away, scotched up to be just some kid. Tubbo keeps going though, he knows anyone else would give up, but he refuses to be anyone else.
The sun is now beginning to set and no one has been kind to him, but he knew going into this that the world is not kind.
He continues on though, door after door, no after no, he keeps going. He doesn’t know where he is, lost in a city he has never had the luxury of knowing.
The sun has practically set, but Tubbo tries one more time.
It’s a bar, the windows are tinted and there are obviously people inside. Tubbo pushes open the door, his fingers leaving smudges on the windows and the noise amplifying as he moves forward.
He has never seen a bar before, he figures that this is what he had always pictured one to look like. It was dim, lights set low and they gave off a sort of orange hue. There were people sitting in some musty looking chairs, with half empty glasses in their hands and drunken laughs filling the air.
There is a television playing in the corner and Tubbo takes a moment to marvel at the images flashing on the screen. It is some kind of sports game and Tubbo thinks that he will have to catch up on the modern media soon.
First, he focuses on his goal. He sidles up to the bar, timid steps and a cautious face. There are judgemental glances cast at him and if Tubbo was weaker he would shy away. He stands tall though, he may not know his surroundings, but he knows what it takes to survive.
A man in a black shirt rushes past him, there is a glass bottle in one hand and a shaker in the other. He lacks hair on his head and there is sweat beading on his forehead. He seems stressed and Tubbo doesn’t want to disturb him.
He does it anyway.
“Sir,” it comes out quieter than he would have hoped.
The man keeps walking and Tubbo tries again when he comes back.
“Excuse me?”
The man stops, turning towards Tubbo with an exasperated look. His eyes are calculated as he scans Tubbo, his face neutral before scoffing at the boy in front of him.
“Kid, you can’t be here. Scram.”
Tubbo flinches briefly, “Please, just hear me out.”
The man sighs and Tubbo thinks this is going to be futile, “You are underage, you gotta go before the cops get called.”
“Please, I just need some kind of job. Do you know anyone who is hiring?”
The guy starts to walk and Tubbo follows him slowly.
“You might be able to get some sympathy from the women in the bakery down the street. Now, you have to leave before I call the cops.”
Tubbo nods promptly, “Thank you.” He doesn’t linger after that, he doesn’t want to mingle with the law enforcement when he is quite literally a runaway right now.
The door clangs behind him and the noise dies down as the bar patrons are closed off into the sanctuary of alcoholic beverages and sports games. None of them will remember Tubbo, they are all too stuck in their world of liquid dopamine and limitless lost memories.
The sun is still setting and Tubbo sets off to his final destination for the night: a bakery.
He isn’t quite sure what a bakery is supposed to look like, but he assumes that he will know when he sees one. He was able to learn while stuck there, not much, but it was something. So, he searches through his brain on what bakeries tend to have.
A part of him wants to think it has something to do with stuff like cake and cookies. He isn’t sure if he is correct, but he keeps his eyes peeled regardless for a storefront with delicate and decadent goods.
He figures that even if it isn’t a bakery that it is a place he would like to visit.
The streetlights slowly flicker on and Tubbo continues on down the road, eyes scanning every building for anything that resembles a bakery. He thinks that maybe it is pointless to look so hard for something that he has never seen.
For all he knows that bald guy could have been lying!
He looks up ready to turn around and find a place to sleep when he reads “Niki’s Bakery” vinyled onto the glass door right next to him.
“Huh,” he thinks. He pushes through the glass doors, allowing himself to enter the so-called bakery and immerse himself in the warm lighting.
He is immediately hit with the smell of probably stale bread and leftover cookies. There is a woman behind the counter with eyes too kind for this world and a soft smile as Tubbo stares in awe at the baked goods in the display window.
“Hello! Welcome to Niki’s Bakery, let me know if you need any help!”
The woman seems nice enough and Tubbo swallows his fear and finds the ability to speak up. “Oh- uh, I was told that you might be interested in hiring?”
Her face morphs into one of slight concern before she smiles, “Oh? Are you looking for a job?”
Her voice is soft and it carries across the bakery the way a windchime carries over a field of growing wheat and wildflowers. Tubbo wishes that he could relish in the sound of her voice and the way it fills the room, but he has things to do.
“Yeah, I’ll do anything. I just,” Tubbo pauses, he gives himself grace to breathe. “I just need something.”
She visibly softens, like butter left on the counter, she melts at his words. “Oh, I’m sure I can find something for you.”
She sets down whatever was in her hands and turns frantically in a way as she thinks.
“How old are you?”
Tubbo’s face contorts at her words because the real answer is that he isn’t quite sure.
“Thirteen.”
It could be a lie, but no one will ever know that anyways.
“Oh,” she almost sounds like how a disney princess would sound, she is so soft and delicate and Tubbo thinks that she is far too nice for a world as mean as this one.
“I have a brother around your age, he comes around and helps out occasionally.”
Tubbo nods, he doesn’t really care for friends.
“I’m sure I can figure something out for you. Just come back tomorrow morning,” she smiles at him and Tubbo just knows that with a smile like that she could ruin nations.
“Thank you so much,” he pours as much genuinity into his words as he can, he nevers wants to seem ungrateful.
The woman nods and Tubbo leaves, reentering the world that the sanctuary that is her bakery shielded him from. The wind blows warmly against his skin and the sun has just barely slipped over the horizon.
Cars flash by and people push past him as they walk down the sidewalk. The city is as bustling as it was in the morning and Tubbo finds some kind of beauty in the fact that the city always appears to be awake.
He looks up at the sky, expecting to see something, but the light pollution hides all of the beauties that come with a setting sun and a rising moon. With that he begins to move down the sidewalk.
The people around him move with a sense of pride and purpose that he does not possess. Tubbo doesn’t have a destination as he walks, he doesn’t have people to see or a place to call home.
So, the world rushes around him, but he doesn’t feel the need to oblige to the speed that the city has set. He has a grasp on time, time does not have a grasp on him; therefore, Tubbo will meander around the city. He will walk and admire and the people will brush past him.
He will take in the city and all its flaws and to everyone else he will be just another face in the crowd. There is a park, it is quiet and he turns into it, away from the crowd and the prying eyes.
It is calming in a way, the park that is. The noises of the city are still in the background, but they all feel dulled as he explores the dying grass and the empty playground that lays abandoned in the middle.
The trees are alive and if Tubbo really tries he can make out the sound of the leaves rustling in the soft breeze that flows through the air. It is nice to be in a place that is meant for families, it is nice to pretend sometimes.
There is a swing set on the playground, it is rusted and the seats are faded from the sun exposure, but it is a swing set. Tubbo finds himself gravitating towards it, a soft smile on his face as he remembers how he would play on them before his childhood was stolen.
He sits on the swing, pushing his feet off the ground as he begins to lightly swing. The park is dark and it is only lit by the moon slowly rising and the swing creaks every time it moves and Tubbo finds himself yearning for something he would never get.
His hands grip the rusting chains so hard they might snap and his mind wonders how his life would have been if he had never said anything. Would he have gotten this childhood filled with swings and friends and knowing your age? He won’t ever know.
He could travel back in time, he could tell the child not to say anything, but that messes too much with the fragile threads of the universe. That would change too much and Tubbo is afraid of what the consequences would be, so he stays.
The swing moves and creaks and the moon rises and Tubbo knows he should go to sleep soon. He can feel his eyelids begin to droop with the weight of exhaustion and he can tell that his body is slowing down.
He hops off the swing, motions lethargic and slow as the night moves on and his body shuts down. There is a bench, under a big tree and Tubbo finds himself on it. He is a tad too big to lay comfortably on the bench, but as he stares at the park and the swing that still moves even though he is no longer on it, he realizes that this is good enough for now.
He closes his eyes and he reminds himself that he is free, they can’t get him, he can survive. His body relaxes and he tells himself it again. He is free. They can’t get him. He can survive.
His breaths even out and he falls into a state of unconsciousness as his body takes the much needed time to recharge.
That night Tubbo dreamed of warm cookies and smiles softer than freshly laid snow. He won’t remember these dreams, but his heart will be full and a smile will be on his face when the sun rises and a new day begins.
–
The sun rises into the air and the temperature rises and Tubbo is awoken with the nature surrounding him.
The tree provides shade above him and families filter into the park to play on the playground and couples settle onto the dying grass to have picnics and Tubbo sits up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
His clothes are wrinkled perpetually and his limbs ache from sleeping on another hard surface. Despite all of this Tubbo finds himself smiling. It isn’t anything grand, but it is present and that counts for something.
There is a moment where Tubbo just sits there, a small smile etched onto his face and his eyes blinking blearily at the light. He takes that moment to breathe and think and relish in the shade of the tree and the energy of the park.
Then he moves, he has a bakery to get to and something inside of him would feel bad to not come back to the woman from the bakery. He doesn’t know why he feels this way, like he would disappoint her by not showing, yet he does.
Because of this, he leaves the serenity of the park and he finds himself having a purpose as he walks. He has somewhere to go and that makes all the difference.
He isn’t lost or a wandering soul because he does have people to see and he does have a place that he has to go, and that fills Tubbo’s soul with a feeling that he can’t describe. He just feels light and like he is carving out a place for himself in a world that threw him out like leftover scraps.
Tubbo is nobody in this world, he doesn’t exist, but as he walks to Niki’s Bakery he feels like maybe it would be nice to become somebody.
As he thinks this the world rushes around him and he finds himself gladly matching the pace as he nears the safe haven that has possibly saved him from failing to survive to see the new year.
Now that it is day, as he approaches it he can recognize it much easier. He can see the baby pink and white striped cloth awning that rests above the glass door that was obviously cleaned thoroughly to remove any smudges from peoples fingers.
The lights are on and through the windows he can see her putting some kind of baked goods into the display cabinet, she has flour on her apron and a content smile on her face as she gently arranges her newest creations for the customers to see.
He pushes through the door, being careful to keep his hands on the metal bar so as to not smudge the most likely freshly cleaned windows. As he enters the bakery, the sound of music fills his ears.
He doesn’t really know music that well, all he knows is the music played in Wilbur’s car and the vague beats that filled the background at the bar.
This music is different. It is softer, it carries a different wait to it and the way the words sound are harmonic and they fall together easily like the last piece in a puzzle. The music just flows through the air and it fills the bakery with a light and airy feel that matches the way everything is placed.
The bakery is like a complete drawing, every detail is well thought out and you can tell just from being in there that the goal was to make it feel like home.
Tubbo doesn’t know what home feels like, but he thinks that this would be pretty close.
“Hello miss,” he never caught the woman’s name last night. He would like to assume it is Niki, but he also doesn’t want to embarrass himself.
She looks up a startled expression on her face before realizing who it is. “Oh hello,” she pauses upon realizing that they truly never exchanged names.
“Tubbo.”
She smiles and it’s gentle and Tubbo thinks that she has a fantastic smile, “I’m Niki. Nice to meet you Tubbo!”
He thinks Niki matches her name, it fits in with the rest of this surreal oasis that is her bakery. “Hello Niki,” he keeps his tone light, matching the energy that runs through the store.
Her smile illuminates the room and she kind of waves her hand in a way that ushers him to the back.
“Okay, I don’t know how much you can bake, but I assume you know how to wash dishes!”
Tubbo nods slowly, he doesn’t really know, but he can pretend he does.
“Okay great!” Niki turns around and grabs a dish rag and leads Tubbo towards the sink. She briefly shows him which knobs make the water hot and cold and then tells him to just place the clean dishes on one of the racks when he is done.
The rag is handed to him and he holds it limply as Niki leaves to go finish opening. He turns to the pile of dishes that sit in the sink. Most of them are pans, but there are measuring cups and spoons and some bowls and whisks thrown in as well.
A sigh falls from his mouth softly, like a leaf falling off a tree. He grabs the rag in his hands and figures that there is no time like the present to learn how to wash dishes.
His hand reaches gingerly for the soap bottle before just going at it. Washing dishes cannot be that hard, it is literally only water, soap and scrubbing!
–
Tubbo finds that it is in fact harder than he thought.
He ended up going back to when he was first starting out and adding much less soap because he quickly learned that too much soap and water ends up with way too many bubbles.
Luckily, he did end up figuring out how to wash dishes though all without Niki even knowing what was happening behind the closed doors that separate the front and the back.
She did come to check on him shortly and offer him a treat as lunch and as a good job. Tubbo was going to decline, yet at the thought of food his stomach began to growl, effectively alerting both of them of his hunger.
With that, Niki led Tubbo back to the front and asked him what he would want and he just told her to pick whatever. He has no preference for something he has never had.
He ends up sitting in a dainty little pink chair with a small white table perched in front of him. There is a plate with some bread looking thing and a cookie on it. He tilts his head as he reaches to pick up the bread thing and finds that it is light.
It is a golden brown color and the top is kind of flaky and it smells of slight butter. He inspects it for a few moments, letting the flakes crumble against the delicate pressure from his fingers, before he decides to take a bite.
He is pleasantly surprised as the taste of light and airy buttered bread enters his mouth. It is something so soft and delicious that Tubbo finds himself scarfing it down before he can even fully think about his actions.
The treat was absolutely delicious and he knows that at one point he will have to ask Niki what it was, until then he picks up the cookie.
It is a chocolate chip and the chocolate is melting against the crisp brown of the cookie. The smell is absolutely delightful and Tubbo finds himself longing for the handmade cookies of his short lived childhood.
He picks it up and feels the warmth that emanates off of it and he almost melts like the chocolate perched inside the cookie.
The first bite is something one could only describe as magical, the cookie is soft but not too soft and sweet but not overly sweet. It is the perfect mixture and Tubbo full heartedly believes that if the opportunity was presented he would eat a whole tray of them.
The cookie is gone as fast as the first item and Tubbo is left feeling more content then he has in a long time. He finds himself leaning back slightly in the seat, allowing himself to take everything in and commit it to memory.
He knows that he never wants to forget this or the cookie or that weird buttered bread thing. He never wants to forget learning how to do dishes or Niki’s smiles that make him melt like wax on a lit candle.
He never wants to forget this bakery.
“Tubbo!”
Niki comes out of the kitchen and Tubbo looks up at her, chocolate still on his lips and stomach more than happy.
“I’ll take it you enjoyed the croissant and the cookie?” Her voice has a playful lilt to it and the way her face moves conveys the message perfectly to Tubbo.
“Yes, it was very good. Thank you Niki,” Tubbo has never been more sincere in his life as he thanks Niki for the short meal. He hasn’t actually had a meal like that in a long while and he knows now what he has been missing out on.
A smile grows onto Niki’s face at the praise, “I’m glad! Now, I don’t necessarily have anything else for you to do, but you can hang around if you would like and I can give you some money before you leave.”
Tubbo finds a matching smile grow onto his face as she speaks, “Thank you so much!”
He wasn’t going to stay, but Niki makes him wonder why anyone would want to go. The bakery is just a place that is so lovely and warm and kind in a casually cruel world that stays waiting outside the doors.
So, he stays. He sits and he watches the customers come and go and the sun move about the sky and the people that walk down the sidewalk. He watches the time pass and for once he lets go of his grasp and just lets the time flow easily.
He watches as Niki comes and goes with various treats in her hands and the way she beams every time someone enters the bakery. He watches her thrive in this store and he hopes one day he can have the same passion.
Niki has multiple passions he realizes as well. He knows this the moment some lanky kid enters through the door and her bright smile somehow manages to be brighter.
The boy that enters has to be her little brother. The way she looks at him is so utterly sisterly that if they were anything but related Tubbo would be shocked.
“Ranboo!”
Niki practically sprinted out from behind the counter to give him a hug and the kid quickly reciprocated. They stood there for a while, hugging and exchanging a few words.
It really wasn’t until Niki glanced up and made eye contact with Tubbo that she flushed red and moved away from Ranboo.
“Sorry Tubbo,” she raises a hand to brush hair away from her face sheepishly as she addresses him.
Tubbo doesn’t really know what to say, he assumes this is her brother and that means no apology should even be necessary.
“Don’t apologize. I don’t need one.”
Niki nods and hidden behind the smile on her face is worry in her eyes from Tubbo’s response.
“Okay,” the warmth returns to the smile. “Well this is Ranboo my little brother.”
Tubbo lets his eyes travel to Ranboo again and he watches as Ranboo gives a meek wave in his direction.
They don’t exchange any words, both being far too socially awkward to do such a thing, so instead the air falls silent.
The music can be heard in the background and the sound of ruffling clothes and awkward breaths fill the place that words would normally be.
Niki sighs, it isn’t disappointed in the way most sighs are, but it is rather knowing. “Well, you guys can work together up at the front. Ranboo, can you teach Tubbo how to use the register?”
Ranboo nods and begins to move towards the counter. He gets around to the register and looks up to meet Tubbo’s eyes, “Are you going to come?”
His words aren’t demeaning and Tubbo thinks that it might be nice to actually get to know someone his age for once.
“Yeah, I’m coming.”
And that is the beginning of the end. Tubbo and Ranboo were slow to get to know each other, but as soon as they placed their anxieties and insecurities to the side the rest was history.
Ranboo taught Tubbo math and science and Tubbo learned how to let people in. They became one in the same, always seen together like a matching pair of socks.
Tubbo learned how to laugh and love and Ranboo learned to do the same. The two boys went from shells of people to loud and rambunctious and everything else you would expect from teenagers.
They became so close that you would never realize that they had only met shy of two years ago. Adorning matching smiles and a confidence in each other that could wreck cities if they so please.
It was everything they needed and more.
Then, it all went wrong.
To put it simply, Ranboo died.
Like, body crooked and bleeding on the concrete road and breaths slowing down until they were nonexistent kind of dead.
It was a Tuesday when it happened. They were at the park and they were doing what any 15 year olds would. They were laughing and chasing each other and being general nuisances.
Tubbo was chasing Ranboo and Ranboo ran. He ran into the road and he didn’t look both ways and a car collided with him.
“Ranboo!” Tubbo screams out as Ranboo crumbles to the floor like a cookie that was thrown against a wall.
The car has stopped and Tubbo can do nothing but run into the road to meet his friend. Tears are streaming down his face as he analyzes the injuries his friend has sustained.
“Ranboo can you look at me?”
Ranboo merely grunts before opening his eyes slowly and Tubbo doesn’t know what he could possibly do. He doesn’t know how he can help Ranboo.
His friend is going to die and he can’t do anything.
Tubbo holds Ranboo and begs him to keep his eyes open and he cries as he prays for some way to save his friend.
The man that hit him is obviously on the phone with the emergency services, but Tubbo knows that they will take too long.
He glances at Ranboo’s body, broken and bruised and bloodied on the road. He watches his chest rise too slowly and the way he is fighting to stay awake.
“Please stay awake for me,” he knows that he is begging with fate, but he does it anyway.
“Please”
The words get quieter everytime, he loses a bit of hope every time, Ranboo loses his life slowly every single time.
There is nothing he can do as Ranboo’s body stills and his eyes close and his heart stops beating.
There is absolutely nothing he can do at all, it isn’t like he can go back in time.
Wait.
He can.
He can go back and he can stop Ranboo from running into the road and he will have his best friend back and he can do this.
Tubbo scoots back from Ranboo and gathers his breath, closing his eyes and imagining them in the park minutes earlier.
He keeps his breathing steady as he gathers the energy to go back, to pull the strings of time and manipulate them to his very will.
He is rusty as he reaches out to go back and rewind time like an old cassette tape.
He feels himself grasp it and there is no real way to describe the feeling. It is like his mind gripping onto something and tugging until it comes free.
The world shifts around him and it isn’t something he notices as he keeps his invisible grip solid and maintains his focus.
Then, he releases and he opens his eyes and Ranboo is in front of him with a goofy smile.
He holds back a sigh of relief from falling from his mouth at the sight of his best friend alive and breathing.
“What are we going to do now?”
Tubbo knew before he shoved Ranboo and screamed “Tag! You’re it!”, but now he won’t, not knowing what that decision would lead to. He will learn from the past and change the future.
“How about we walk down to the ice cream shop?”
Ranboo nods and then they head over. Tubbo is careful to make sure he is closest to the road and that Ranboo is perfectly safe from any dangers.
This path has been walked thousands of times by them, but Tubbo is paranoid and anxious and his mind is still reeling from what he witnessed.
Overall, the walk is peaceful though and they talk about mindless things as they pass through the city. They turn down an alleyway, it is a shortcut that they always take. Their feet have pounded the concrete of this alleyway hidden between a bookstore and coffee shop almost every time they walked to the ice cream shop.
Normally, it is empty and completely void of anything aside from a few scraps of trash laying about, yet itjust so happens that on this particular day someone else is walking it as well.
A black hoodie is adorned and they are tall, not quite taller than Ranboo, but tall enough. You can see that they are muscular from the way the hoodie fits and just the general way that they carry themselves.
Tubbo and Ranboo stick to one side of the alleyway and allow him to pass. What they don’t see is the glint in his eye and knife clutched in his hand.
When they do notice it is too late, Ranboo is being held at knife point and Tubbo is standing with his arms up and shaking by Ranboo’s side.
“Give me all of the money you guys have.”
Ranboo flinches and Tubbo begins to slowly reach for anything he might have besides the few dollars he was going to use for ice cream.
He rummages around in his pockets, motions getting more and more desperate as he fails to find anything more than two dollars.
“If you don’t hurry up, your friend will get it.”
Tubbo pulls out the two dollars and holds it in the air, fear evident in the way his hand trembles and his eyes downturn.
The man scoffs and Ranboo squeaks as the knife is dug deeper into his throat.
“This—“ Words fail to come out of his mouth, getting lodged into his throat during this vital moment.
He listens to Ranboo’s cries and Tubbo just freezes. Not again, he can’t watch his friend almost die again.
He closes his eyes and the mugger protests and he hears Ranboo’s grunts of pain pick up and he chooses to block it all out.
Instead, he uses his mind to feel for and find that moment in time just before they decided to go down the alley.
He flips through the invisible files of time and carefully selects the moment he wants before he pulls and tugs and the world rushes around him.
He opens his eyes.
“Do we wanna take the shortcut?
Tubbo shakes his head softly, still reeling from having to use his powers twice in one day after not using them for such a long time.
“Nah, let’s just enjoy the scenery and the city,” his voice is shaky and Tubbo gives a meek smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes but Ranboo doesn’t notice that as he nods and begins to walk past the alley.
The breath that escapes his mouth as they leave the vicinity of the alleyway is discreet as Ranboo continues to walk, a bounce in his step and a clear conscience.
Tubbo, albeit shaken and still in shock from the amount of danger Ranboo has been put in, still finds a way to admire the city, it is one of the few things that still manages to blow his mind after all these years. He is still learning new things that are cool, yet nothing will ever be cooler than the city to him.
It is just so vast and it is like a bubble of a world, a slice of so many different lives thrown into a mixing pot.
So Ranboo rambles on and Tubbo admires the buildings that tower above him and the people that pass them on the road.
It is peaceful in a way as they walk towards the ice cream shop and the moment they enter the store a new kind of calm blankets the environment.
“Welcome to Ice Cream and More!”
Tubbo smiles at the man standing behind the counter. They have come to be some kind of friends from the amount of time the two boys come to the shop.
“What’s up big man?”
Tubbo radiates energy as he speaks to Jack and all of them smile as they begin to fill the air with their light words that bounce around the room like bubbles on a summer day.
“Not much Tubbo, it’s been a slow day.”
Tubbo nods, almost with a sense of understanding and empathy despite having very little work experience himself.
“Well, what can I get you guys today?”
Ranboo is the one to order for the both of them, “The usual. What else would we get?”
The whole conversation is light and fluffy like a freshly whipped meringue. Tubbo relishes in it, he needed this after the day he has had.
They joke about as Jack scoops them some ice cream, a scoop of pistachio for Ranboo and one of rocky road for Tubbo. The three of them laugh and smile and Tubbo lets the relief sink in that Ranboo isn’t dying.
He lets his muscles relax minutely and allows himself a moment to breathe at the fact that Ranboo is next to him and smiling and laughing and eating his stupid pistachio ice cream.
“Walruses are great animals.”
“What even is a walrus?”
Tubbo thinks that this is just what he needed after the universe threw him through the wringer today, so he just sits back and listens to his friends bicker.
“Okay well how about narwhals?”
“Narwhals aren’t real, just like dinosaurs. Everyone knows that.”
Tubbo watches shock flash through Ranboo’s eyes, “Narwhals are real.. and so are dinosaurs?”
Jack goes through the five stages of grief in that moment. “Wait— they aren’t like..fake?”
Ranboo shakes his head slowly, “No… look them up.”
Jack whips out his phone at the speed of light and Tubbo watches as this man quickly reads through his google search with frantic eyes.
“No way.”
“Yes way.”
“I can’t believe this,” Jack throws his phone down. “I’ve been lied to!”
Ranboo laughs and Tubbo finds himself laughing too. He wishes that life was always this easy.
“I can’t believe you didn’t think narwhals were real, man.”
Jack just puts his head in his hands as though this is the worst news ever. Tubbo laughs again, but this time when he catches his breath he notices something off with the air.
“Hey guys?”
“How was I supposed to know they were real!”
None of them hear him.
“Guys?”
“It’s just common sense dude.”
Tubbo notices the smell getting stronger, it is smokey, like the air in a backyard during a barbecue.
“Guys!”
Both of them turn to look at him.
“Do you smell that?”
Both of them start sniffing the air and if it were any other time Tubbo would find that funny.
“No?” Jack turns his head to look at Tubbo.
“Oh,” Tubbo lets a frown settle onto his face. “It must have just been my imagination.”
Ranboo just nods and eventually they fall back into the easy rhythm of conversation.
“I’ll be back, I gotta go to the bathroom,” Ranboo says softly before standing up to go to the bathroom.
Tubbo just nods before looking down at their empty ice cream cups and the way the sun has begun to fall from the sky.
Jack gets up to go tidy up the counter and Tubbo just kind of sits there in comfortable silence. That smell never really went away, but he assumes it is nothing since nothing has really happened with it.
He stares out at the setting sun for a few more minutes waiting patiently for Ranboo to come back from the bathroom.
Ranboo doesn’t come back though.
Instead, the world erupts in more ways than one.
Fire encases the shop and Tubbo finds himself running out of the door out of pure instinct. He finds his body acting on adrenaline as he sprints away from the harm.
It is only when he is outside, the pulling for air to fill his lungs when he glances around and sees Jack next to him.
Ranboo is still inside.
Tubbo finds that panic fills his body the way water fills your lungs when you’re drowning.
He goes to sprint back inside but a hand wraps around his arm, the grip turning the area of his arm white and causing the panic in his brain to flare.
“Let me go!”
Desperation coats his voice, dousing his actions in a way that can only be crudely described as animalistic.
“No,” the voice is clear as it cuts through the fog of his mind.
“Ranboo—“ Tubbo lets his thoughts trail off, leaving the ending up in the air as he allows logic to overtake his mind once again.
“Tubbo, you can’t go in there. It isn’t safe.”
“But—“
“No.”
Tubbo decides to just breathe, to try to calm down. He can save this, he can stop it all.
He closes his eyes and he reaches.
There is nothing there to grab.
His arms frantically reach out to try to see anything, to try to grasp onto the past that has steadily slipped away from him the way a wet bar of soap would.
He knows that he is getting frustrated and that the panic is seeping slowly back into his actions as he keeps searching for something, anything.
“Tubbo,” he feels his body being shaken. He ignores it and keeps searching.
“Tubbo, can you open your eyes?”
He keeps them firmly shut.
“Tubbo,” the words are getting more frantic in time with his mind.
“Tubbo!”
He opens his eyes, his chest is heaving and tears again his cheeks and Jack is standing in front of him with his arms on his shoulders.
“Breathe Tubbo.”
Tubbo finds that the air feels nicer filling his lungs than he remembered.
“Ranboo—“
“You would have never been able to save him.”
Only Tubbo knows that that is a lie.
“No, but—“
No buts,” Jack’s voice is gentle as he speaks to Tubbo. It is gentle as his pride and joy burns down behind him. It is gentle as the firefighters arrive and as Tubbo is told to turn around.
He knows it is Ranboo’s body and a part of him doesn’t know if he would have even wanted to see the remnants of his friend after he failed him.
After that, everything is a blur. There is a hospital and lots of burns and Tubbo is getting treated and there is Niki and she is crying and Tubbo finds that the tears fail to fill his eyes.
He wishes he could cry.
There is a funeral and Tubbo visits the grave and sometimes Niki comes and the bakery is never the same and the sun seems to shine a bit duller and Tubbo still doesn’t cry.
He wants to cry so bad, he wants to mourn and sob, but he can’t. He can’t mourn someone that he failed to save.
The city moves on, the news moves on, Jack moves on and eventually Niki does too and it seems Tubbo is the only one stuck in the past.
He tried going back to that day, he tried so many times and it never worked. He can go to the future and go back to yesterday, but never to that day.
Something about that strikes a chord in his heart.
The day Tubbo cries isn’t some monumental day. It isn’t Ranboo’s birthday, or the first day they met, or the day he died.
It is merely some random Thursday.
The only difference is that Tubbo finally realized that he may be able to manipulate time but he can’t change fate.
Maybe this some sort of somber acceptance is what finally made it possible for him to mourn the best friend that he lost so many times that day.
Maybe forgiving himself was all he needed in order to move on.
He cries a lot that day, he is hiccuping and he is dehydrated and he cries so hard that his eyes are red and puffy and hurt from the sheer amount of tears shed.
He visits Ranboo’s grave and talks and he grieves and he smiles and as fall turns to winter and winter into spring and spring into summer, he learns to move on.
Tubbo figures out what it means to mourn someone, he slowly finds ways to honor Ranboo throughout his life while still thriving.
He learns to live without Ranboo.
He learns to live free of the burden and the guilt.
Tubbo learns to live and fly and be himself.
He learns that sometimes going back just to watch himself hangout with Ranboo is just what he needs.
He learns that sometimes doing nothing at all satisfies every muscle and bone and nerve in his body.
He learns that life is hard and that death is hard and that mourning is hard.
Most importantly though, he learns how to be strong and brave and free.
He learns how to be free.
And that is what matters the most in the end anyways, he is free and he knows now that he can’t change fate or destiny, but he can learn to overcome it.
He is free.
Tubbo is free.
And that is all he really needs.