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Stiles is fifteen when his mom dies. Not four, not so young that he can barely remember her and not sixty, not so old that he’s already grown and learned to live without her. No, he’s fifteen and he still needs her; he needs her to make him breakfast and help him with his math homework; he needs her to help him with all his love troubles. But no, she’s gone, and every day that he has to wake up without her is torture.
This morning, Stiles wakes up and the house is silent, which means it's either a Tuesday or Friday. Stiles really hopes its a Friday. When he glances it the clock he’s at least glad that that he’s sixteen and can drive his Jeep to school instead of taking the bus. Stiles doesn’t shower, just washes his face and applies some more deodorant before pulling on some clean-smelling clothes. He heads downstairs, chugs a glass of OJ, and heats up a waffle. When he checks the clock on the stove it reads 7:37. Plenty of time to get to school and to first period on time.
It’s too bad he chooses to take Main instead of 5th like he usually does. There’s construction and traffic is backed up two blocks so by the time he ends up in the parking lot of Beacon Hills High School, it's a quarter past eight and he wants nothing more than to just turn around and go home and get right back in bed. Instead he just grabs his backpack, locks his Jeep, and runs straight into Derek Hale.
“Shit! What the hell man?”
“Shut up. Shut up.” Derek pushes him back in between the cars. “Just go with it okay?”
“I don’t--”
Suddenly the principal is right in front of them and glaring at Derek.
“Mr. Hale, are you attempting to ditch class right now?”
Derek stands tall and looks almost like the picture of the perfect student, if not for the worn black leather jacket he wears.
“No, sir. Stiles here was kind enough to give me a ride. Unfortunately we just got here. Right, Stiles?”
“Um, yeah, I mean yes. There’s construction on Main. Did you know that, sir?”
The principal just stares at them. Stiles has never gotten in trouble, not once, not ever, and five minutes with Derek Hale has his perfect record going all down the drain.
“Fine. Just get to class.” He turns to see a group of kids lingering by the front building and starts walking towards them, but not before turning back to Stiles and Derek and motioning to get moving to class. As soon as his back is turned though, Derek spins on his heel and heads to the forest surrounding the school.
“Hey, wait! What was that?” Stiles turns to follow him. “Dude, class is the other way. Where are you going?” Derek just keeps walking and for some unknown reason Stiles keeps following him. “No, but seriously where are you going? Can’t you get kicked off the lacrosse team for this? Are you even going to say thanks? I mean I totally just saved your ass back there and--”
“Do you even know how to be quiet?” Derek turns around to face Stiles and boy, Stiles never noticed how weird his eyes were. Stiles can’t tell if they’re blue or grey... He settles for calling them hazel.
“No, not really... So where are we going?”
“We are not going anywhere. You are going back to school.” With that, Derek turns around. He makes it two steps before Stiles reaches around and grabs one of his arms.
“Can I just... Can I come? Please. I really don’t want to go to school today. I promise I’ll be quiet.”
Stiles isn’t sure what Derek sees in his eyes but finally Derek nods a quick ok.
“Keep up. I’m not responsible if you get lost.”
“Don’t get lost. Got it. Anything else? Any other ground rules I need to know about?”
“Just keep quiet.” Derek glares at Stiles.
And just like that Stiles finds himself trailing behind Derek Hale, the most reclusive yet somehow most popular senior from BHHS. It's almost surreal. Stiles isn’t a loser or anything, he’s just mostly invisible. He gets good grades and he plays sports; he’s on the junior squad lacrosse team though which doesn’t count for much but still, he plays. He just doesn’t seem to register on the radar though, he just hangs out with his best friend Scott and Scott’s girlfriend Allison. Derek is different though, Derek is beautiful, he’s tall and built with dark hair and he’s even got that mysterious broody thing going on and it doesn’t help that he’s captain of the varsity lacrosse team and that the team has been undefeated ever since Derek has been captain...
Stiles is too caught up in his own thoughts that he doesn’t realize that Derek has stopped so he ends up slamming right into him.
“Oof.”
Derek surprises him by turning and lending a hand to help Stiles up. When Stiles is finally upright again he sees that they’re at the old Hale House, where Derek used to live before it burned down, killing everyone inside.
“Is this?”
“Yeah.”
“Why are we here?”
Instead of answering, Derek just motions for Stiles to follow him. Stiles hesitates at the doorway; the house is old and burned down and he’s not too sure it’s safe, but he sees Derek go in, and surely Derek wouldn’t go in if he was worried about it falling down. What he finds inside actually surprises him.
The floors are whole and the walls are white and there are lights turning on around them. It’s clean and bright and quite the opposite of the burned down wreckage he was expecting.
“Did you do all this?”
Derek smiles, a real smile, and Stiles almost finds it odd because he doesn’t think he’s ever seen Derek Hale smile. And Stiles almost certainly doesn’t swoon.
“Yeah. I uh... yeah. My parents when they died they left me a lot of money. As soon as it’s finished I’m gonna move back in.”
To be honest, Stiles is kind of confused. He isn’t sure how Derek can even stand being in this place. Derek’s parents died here; his two older brothers, they died here, his sister who was only two months old died here. Stiles can’t even stand to walk past his mother’s home office before he wants to just break down and cry.
“I don’t understand. Why? Why would you want to live here after what happened?”
Derek slides down a wall to sit on the floor. Stiles goes to sit next to him.
“I don’t know. I guess it's because I just want to feel closer to them. Living with my Uncle Peter is okay, I guess, but he’s crazy and it’s just not the same ever since my sister Laura went to college.”
“I just... My mom died last year and,” Stiles doesn’t know the words. He’s still kind of shocked to find himself in this place. “It hurts. I see her pictures in the living room and it takes everything in me not to knock ‘em down and punch a hole in the wall.” Stiles can feel the tears, and he digs his nails into the flesh of his palm. He won’t cry in front of Derek Hale, he won’t.
When Derek speaks, his voice is rough, cracked. “Can I tell you a secret?”
Stiles just nods.
“After the fire happened, the police let us come back to see if we could salvage anything. I punched a hole right through that wall right there. I broke my hand in five different places. It actually felt really good. I ended coming back later with a sledge hammer and just tore the place apart until I couldn’t move anymore and I just sat here for a whole day. Then I got mad, because I realized people would see this place and just tell sad stories about it. I didn’t want that. My parents, my brothers, Cara-” Stiles can hear Derek’s voice break at his baby sister’s name. “They don’t deserve sad stories. So I’m building this place back up and filling it with happy memories. Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is sometimes it helps to break things. I’m not saying go home and break that picture frame of your mom, but I don’t know. Go to the gym and punch some bags or something.”
Stiles scoffs a little. “Yeah right, me in a gym. No way.”
“Dude, why not? You play lacrosse.”
At that Stiles jerks his face up to look at Derek.
“You know I play lacrosse? Well then you must know that I’m pretty shitty.”
“No, you’re not shitty. I’ve seen you play. Your problem is you need more upper body strength to get some follow through and bam, you’ll be making more of your shots.”
After that Stiles gets a full tour of the house and a one-on-one lacrosse lesson with Derek. It’s the first time since his mom had died that he forgets to be sad.
****
The more that Stiles hangs out with Derek, the more he realizes that Derek is still broken, but its okay because he’s slowly making himself whole. So Stiles starts to make himself whole again too. He still hangs out with Scott and sometimes Allison, but more and more he finds himself with Derek, playing lacrosse with Derek, helping Derek fix up his house, helping Derek pick out furniture, studying with Derek.
Its a Friday when Stiles realizes that he’s in love with Derek. They’re at his house, in the backyard lying on the grass in the shade of a tree waiting for Stiles’ dad to get home. Derek wants to take him to some zombie marathon two towns over and so they’re both waiting and hoping Sheriff Stilinski will say yes. Derek is laughing at some joke Stiles has made and in that moment Stiles wants nothing more to lean over Derek and kiss him. Stiles doesn’t.
They go to the zombie movie marathon and Stiles feels awkward the entire time.
******
“Hey Lydia, wait up!”
“Okay but hurry up, Stiles, I’m meeting up with Allison and-”
“I need your help. I...” Stiles chokes on his words while Lydia looks at him expectantly. “HowdoIgetaguytolikeme?”
“I’m sorry, what was that?” She’s smiling and Stiles knows that she heard him.
“I. Like. This. Guy. And. I. Want. To. Get-”
“-Into his pants. Hold on one sec.” She pulls out her phone. “Hey Allison, I’m going to have to reschedule.”
Stiles is absolutely not frightened of the smirk on her lips and the gleam in her eye.
*****
Just do it. Just go up to him and ask him out. Just like Lydia said, stand tall and be confident. The worst thing is he can say is no. But what if he does say no? What if he says no and then he doesn’t want to hang out with you because he’s actually a raging homophobe? Wait, he can’t be a homophobe, he hangs out with Danny and Jackson and Danny and Jackson are definitely gay. See, relax. Just do it. Just go up to him and ask him out.
Stiles takes a deep breath and takes a few steps forward when he stops. Stiles knew that Derek once had a thing with Kate Argent, but the way Derek talked about her, well Stiles could have sworn that Derek thought she was a crazy, controlling bitch. Apparently not, as Derek’s hands are holding her waist and her arms are around his neck and yup that is definitely her tongue making its way down his throat.
Stiles is in his jeep and halfway home when Derek realizes that Stiles isn’t at their usual table for study hall.
******
Stiles doesn’t answer his phone for the rest of the day and the next morning he tells his dad he’s sick so he can stay home from school.
It’s 1:30 and Stiles’ shirt is stained with dried milk, his pajama bottoms are so big they drag on the floor whenever he actually needs to get off the couch, and his robe has holes in it. Stiles is the epitome of a hot mess, so of course its only obvious that the love of his life knocks on his door with him looking like that.
“Hey man, you sick?” Stiles just stares at him, a little angry, a little resentful and definitely a lot embarrassed. “You okay? I mean, you didn’t answer my texts yesterday and you weren’t at school today....”
“I uh-” Try as he might Stiles can’t be mad at him. It isn’t Derek’s fault that Stiles has some huge crush on him. “Do you want to come in?”
Derek comes in and settles in on the couch next to Stiles, not seeming to care about catching whatever Stiles has. They’re watching some ridiculous show on MTV about gay werewolves when Stiles turns to Derek.
“So you and Kate are back together?”
“Nah,” Derek doesn’t look away from the TV. “She wanted me to take her to prom. I feel bad. I sort of laughed in her face, because do I look like the type of guy who goes to prom?” He finally turns to look at Stiles.
“No.”
“Exactly.”
They both tune back into the show. Stiles is watching but not really paying attention.
“I’m not really sick.” Derek turns to look at him. Stiles can feel Derek looking at him, but he keeps his eyes glued to the TV. “I just didn’t want to see you with Kate because I thought you guys got back together.”
“Why?”
“Well I saw you two kissing before study hall and-”
“No. I meant why would me getting back with Kate bother you?”
“I’m kinda in love with you?” It comes out like a question and Stiles actually wants to throw up now.
“Oh.” Derek turns back to face the TV.
“Yup.”
It’s quiet, just voices from the TV, and they’re both pointedly staring at the screen when Stiles feels Derek take his hand.
They do not end up making out on the couch until the Sheriff gets home.
Absolutely not.