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Colin was at a bit of a loss at the moment, his mind wandering elsewhere. For the last hour, he'd been instructing Miss Penelope Featherington on acceptable topics of conversation to have with a gentleman in order to attract their attention. While the topics were nothing exciting of note, the way the transitions landed and the exuberance Penelope showed, left him rather befuddled. On the one hand she glowed, displaying a wealth of knowledge so vast he nearly drowned under the details. On the other hand, she rarely began their discussions, letting him take dominance over the conversations until she was ready to chime in. These new lessons with Penelope were enlightening to him. He’d never known he’d enjoy conversing with those of the opposite sex when courtship was placed off the table. In fact, Colin was nearly transfixed by his red-headed friend. When had Penelope grown so lovely and full of bravado?
To peel another layer back on his new tutee, he learned she was an astounding orator. Just moments before, he’d listened in rapt attention as she analyzed Joseph de Maistre work on the individual’s existence becoming subject secondary to the nature of society. Penelope did not look at him at all during her recitation, only sparing glances here and there. Colin was left with an overwhelming swell of awe towards her. Pen's tact for witticism and flourish for words, had him floundering quite a bit. When she glanced curiously up at him, eager eyes questioning his silence for the fifth time during their session, he found an unmistakable swoop in his chest. Not wanting to diagnose such a strange reaction, Colin feigned tiredness. The dejected pout upon Penelope’s face brought him so much worried that he’d offered her a newly printed novel. It was a romance book his older sister Daphne gushed about entitled, Sense and Sensibilities. Knowing Penelope’s penchant for those types of books, he offered her the novel in hopes of a reprieve from her closeness.
She was becoming a danger to him, making him lose all sensible thought. She’d gladly grabbed the book, sitting in the window nook to make herself comfortable. There she sat, so absorbed she had not noticed the way his eyes wandered to observe her. Colin had chosen to read a book on Italy, already making preparations in his mind for a new destination to travel to, but Penelope’s quiet intentness on the book irked him. What could be so intriguing that she’d rather enjoy the written word to his company? Blasted, Daphne and her feminine suggestions. She clearly chose this book with malicious intent to lure Penelope away from him. The sulky nature of his thoughts surprised him. Why was he feeling petulant? It was only a book and she was only Penelope. His Pen.
Colin adjusted his legs propped atop the accent bench, tingling with the desire to demand attention from the red-head. Penelope sat, her feet tucked under her bottom looking like a woodland sprite. The green of her dress intricately weaved together to tuck about her waist, her shawl fluttered about her arms like delicate wings. Her red curls hung languidly down her back and shoulders. His fingers flexed, eager to wrap a digit around the ringlets and watch them bounce back. He could see it now, the contented sigh Penelope would allow to leave her lips.
“Colin.” She’d breathed softly, looking up at him like she’d done earlier in their session. At one point he’d glanced at her lips, then thought otherwise, throwing the semblance of the temptation from his mind. Penelope was a dear friend, she was merely learning the ways of seduction, nothing more. To prove his rationale to himself, he focused on the crimson spun silk flowing down her shoulders. The wavy nature of the spirals reminded him of the weaving technique he learned from a village of women settled in the Athos mountains. Yes, think about those women, think about their happy faces and interesting insight. He smiled to himself, delighted in his daydream. The Athos mountains were astonishing to see. Each new terrain brought a thinner perhaps clearer air than he was used to. The first time he’d come back from an excursion higher up in the hills, he’d been winded and disorientated. The ladies of the village laughed at him, their good-natured gest a balm to his soul. That was the first time in two years of traveling that he missed the comradery of home. That and the friendship he held with a certain society wallflower.
Penelope shifted, her blue orbs moving quickly past each line. Colin watched again transfixed by the glow of sunlight on her skin, how it shined like porcelain. Her round nose wrinkled as she came to a part she did not care for, freckles across her cheeks prominent under the illuminating sun. A feeling of anger flashed through him before he could name it. Focus Colin! He chastised, trying to read his book. But the moment Penelope sighed, he was back to observing her person. As his eyes traveled from her face, he couldn’t help but noticed the dip of her gown dangerously low, exposing the large swell of her chest. He closed his eyes, suddenly feeling tired.
"Colin," she called softly, closing the book with a dull thud. "The hours end is upon us." At her statement the grandfather clock chimed loudly.
"I must hasten before my mama notices my departure." Penelope adjusted her gown, pulling the shawl tight about her shoulders. She turned to fluff the pillows, adjusting the nook back to its original placement. In her diligence, she failed to notice the way her dress hugged her round bottom. Was Pen always so…curvaceous? Colin gulped seemingly glancing away before standing on instinct, easily telling himself that his treacherous thoughts would not gain him any favors. He was a gentleman after all. Perhaps his fleeting notions of passion were the direct result of his nearness to Penelope. Once she found herself a husband of good repute, he could let go of such delusions.
Colin extended his hand to Pen’s, noting the warmth of her palm in his. "What do you mean? Is your lady mother unaware of your presence in this household, Penelope?"
She took his hand allowing him to escort her to the door. They got halfway there before she spoke. "She is aware of my engagements with Eloise but these dalliances…" Penelope blushed, staring at the floor. Colin took the opportunity to glance down as well, noticing for the first time how tiny she was compared to him. If he wanted, she could be dwarfed between him and the door without an option of escape. The prospect sent a shiver of something through his spine. Colin watched the blush on Penelope’s cheeks spread down her face to her chest.
"No one is aware of our conversations then?" He inquired, standing a tad closer than propriety deemed necessary.
"No. I have been using the utmost discretion. " She shook her brilliant red curls, the tendrils waving like streaks of fire.
“Trust me.” She assured. He gulped at the smattering of freckles on her nose accentuated by the reddened hues of her cheeks. The determination in those cerulean eyes bore into him. Yet again, Colin wondered when Penelope became an entirely new creature to him, full of strength and resolve. She had always been Eloise's friend and a good person to share his travel correspondences with when his family found his musings banal, but her newest visual in his eyes was strange to him. She was something more important. She was Pen.
"Good. I should hate for your lady mother to dissuade you from attending our company." He teased.
"There is very little I could do to require such a reaction." She grinned in mirth.
“Then it is settled. Your mother won’t know and we shall be safe.”
“Safe?” She chuckled lightly, the sound stirring in Colin’s chest. “My mama is a formidable lady. I fear no one is safe when she sets her sights on them.”
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” Colin responded back, happy to be in a world of their own. He should like to do this more often, picking Pen's brain for her knowledge and thoughts on life. She was so remarkable. She made to open her mouth to speak again when the clock chimed once more. Had only a moment passed between them?
Penelope took a quick step away from him, the body heat of her dress leaving Colin frozen. He frowned. He quiet liked their proximity. It made him feel safe, as if he could trust no one but his friend Pen. Instead of returning his frustration Penelope scurried about the room, rearranging the pillows and retrieving the book he’d loaned to her.
“It must look as if we were never here.” She was a flurry of red and green, adorable and frantic before she stopped short and glanced to the door.
“The third chime will sound soon. I must go.”
Penelope made her way to the door with her hand posed on the knob. A frantic panic broke over Colin when he called to her. "Pen."
She turned, a vision in green, so brightly backlit by the sun's unforgiving shine that she eclipsed it completely. Colin took a cautious step forward then another. He could read the worry on her face. She was worried her mother would notice her absence. And yet, he selfishly wanted to have her but a few more moments. Impart another friendly barb or just hear her say his name once more. He walked steadily towards her, stopping a short ways away for fear if he got closer, he would encourage her to spend the afternoon with him, conversing in their hidden bubble frozen in time.
"Yes?" She queried, tilting her head at him curiously.
"I-" He had not had anything to say, he realized belatedly. "I will see you at the next ball, correct?"
Her dazzling smile was blinding. "Of course, Colin." The way she said his name lodged the strangest sensation in him. It was a soft murmur, the tiniest hitch at the end of his name like a secret signal meant only for him. His Pen was such a sweet, delicate friend. His delusions of romance with her were foolish, he realized. What he really craved from her was friendship. Perhaps this strange feeling was what it meant to have a best friend.
The shuffling of feet heard outside caused another flurry of panic to cross Penelope's face. Colin went to the door, listening intently. The need to protect her felt strong. He looked back at a startled Penelope, "I will check to see if there is another in the hallway. If not, I will come for you so you may leave without anyone's knowledge.
"Thank you, Colin." She breathed a sigh of relief, bringing up the twinge of friendship at his chest.
"Absolutely." He smiled before departing. Must protect his best friend, he told himself, carefully closing the door so no one would catch sight of Pen. Once outside, he found the hall void of human life. The footsteps must have come from a servant. Taking another quick glance without seeing anyone, he slinked back inside. Penelope would have no problem leaving undetected.
He placed his head back in, happy to be helping a friend out. "Penelope, the trouble seems to have passed. Come along."
She sighed a sigh of relief, quickly picking up her skirts to slip past him. Colin flattened himself in the doorway, conscious of the friction their combined bodies created. He watched Penelope rush forward barely looking behind her. She stopped suddenly in her rush, quickly turning around. "Thank you again Colin." She grinned, sending his chest to tighten. He mused that this must be the feeling Eloise got anytime she was near Pen as well. This was the agony and joy of having a best friend.
"Goodbye Pen." He gestured for her to leave, then watched as she descended the stairs, until her scarlet hair disappeared from his sight.
Pushing himself off the railing, Colin chuckled. Penelope really was the best friend a guy like him could.... Anthony and Benedict stood at the door to the private library he’d just left. His older brother’s disappointment and subsequent amusement rang clear on their respective faces.
"Brothers." Colin cleared his throat. "If you'll excuse me, I have-"
"In my office. Now!" Anthony intoned, leaving no room for argument. Colin sighed dejected. So maybe they saw Pen leave. That could spell trouble, the exact trouble he did not want to bring to his eldest brother's attention.
Inside the sanctum of the sacred study, Benedict poured each man a glass, his smile clear on his features. Colin took the offered drink before resuming his pacing. He needed to create a convincing story for his brothers. There was no way either of them could know the truth. Their lessons were special to him but they might not see it that way. What he and Pen agreed to was unheard of.
Anthony sat imposing behind his desk, watching Colin. His hooded eyes kept pace with his younger brother, taking a sip of the amber liquid. "Well?" He demanded.
Colin took a drink from his brandy as well, disliking the taste but needing it for strength. "I do not have to answer your inquires."
"You do if it places Miss Featherington in a distasteful light. What shall mother say when she finds out you were alone, unchaperoned with a female of the Ton? Will she not think the same things I am?"
"And what would those be brother?" Colin narrowed his eyes. He did not like how his brother said Pen’s name. Why was Anthony getting angry? The accusing tone in his voice implied judgement before hearing a defense.
Anthony took another sip before lowering his glass. "Shall I ring for a special license? Surely, we can be discreet about whatever indiscretions you have permitted yourself with-"
Colin balked. Was Anthony implying what he thought? That he had compromised Penelope! She was a friend, a best friend. Why would he ever think to touch that small, soft body or press his lip against those plush lips or grab her round bottom bringing her close to his desires? Colin shook his head. Those were dangerous thoughts, ones he didn’t entertain. He knew objectively Penelope was attractive and their continued secluded visits were surely allowing for more fantasies to arise in his mind, but he'd react the same if this were another debutante he held in high regard. Though, perhaps not. No one was as well versed and comforting as Penelope. Feeling a headache approaching Colin walked away from the desk, rubbing his temples. "Surely you are not implying I was being dishonorable with Penelope."
"What else am I to think?" His brother challenged.
Colin sighed. "She is a friend Anthony. A best friend if I am allowed to use such phrasing. She had come by to...." Shoot! He had yet to determine a story for her appearance in their household.
"To see if you were well?" Benedict chimed in, humor in his voice. He was leaning on the far wall, brandy in hand with a smug grin on his lips. Colin didn’t know why but he wasn’t a fan of his brother at the moment. Either of them.
"Benedict, this is no laughing-" Anthony warned.
That was a good excuse. Okay, maybe Colin wasn’t so mad at Benedict, though he still couldn’t figure out why any of this would be humorous. "Yes, last ball I was feeling unwell, so she came to see upon my health."
Benedict's quiet chuckles filled the empty silence. Anthony only hummed. Both looked at him as if expecting more.
"Come out with it!" Colin barked, upset at this silent interrogation.
Finally, Anthony spoke. "You don't believe Benedict and I buy such a story, do you? If you have composed Miss Featherington, I won't be mad. I just need to know-"
Was he serious? Anthony was mad, a man without his mind. Colin already said he wasn’t having his way with Penelope. He would not do such a thing. And the implication that his brothers didn’t believe him angered him fully.
"I have Not!" Colin yelled, slamming his hands on the top of the desk. Benedict moved from his relaxed state to one of action. Anthony merely rose from his seat, meeting Colin’s face in the middle.
“Colin if you would just-”
He was sick of this. Colin knew what he wanted. And he didn’t want a wife, or a mistress or Penelope Featherington! What he wanted was to sail to Italy, perhaps find a beautiful woman and forget about his passing fantasies of his best friend. Was that so hard to understand? “I did not degrade Penelope with any lecherous actions! Her and I have an agreement!”
“Such as letting yourself use liberties with-”
“No! Pen wanted advice on conversing with suitors. She asked for my help." He stated harshly, whispering the latter part. What an embarrassing statement.
The silence that yet again filled the air was palpable. Colin became nervous as Anthony sat back down and Benedict took the chair across from him. He looked at the two of them before plopping in the final chair, hiding his face. "Please do not disclose such information. She asked for my help in secret."
Benedict made a peculiar sound in his throat. Colin watched his brother furrow his brow. "Why would she ask you?"
What a dumb question. Who else would she ask? He wanted to snort. "Because we are friends. She is a wonderful woman who would make an excellent wife."
"But not to you?" Anthony stated, slowly looking at Colin in confusion. Colin glanced between his brothers.
"Penelope is deserving of a gentleman who will see her beauty in not only her mind but her soul. I am already aware of such qualities. Furthermore I do not see how that adds me into the running for her heart?" He was further confounded when his brothers shared a look. He hated that look. It meant they were having a secret conversation without him.
"Colin. How do you see Penelope?" Benedict asked cautiously.
"As a best friend. She creates a space in which the two of us can enjoy our presence without societal obligations. Why?"
"Do you feel different when she is around?" Anthony questioned slowly.
"Different? Different how?"
"Does she make your heart flutter? Can you focus on only her even once you are in a crowded room? Does she bring about certain thoughts? Wants? Dreams? Do you see yourself for the first time reflected in her eyes?" Benedict waxed.
Colin snorted, his brother could be such a poet. "That sounds like love described by the creative mind. Penelope is more to me than a sonnet about a winter day."
When his brothers didn't answer, he continued. "I savor my time spent with her. Penelope is a major reason I so enjoy the events we attend. If it so hard for you two to understand, I will put it plainly. She is my best friend. She is sharp-witted, delightful and a joy to be around. It is easy to converse with her and spot her about the crowd with her candy red hair.” He counted the reasons on his fingers.
“There! That should answer your inquires.” Colin smugly replied. Now his stupid brothers would get off of his back.
Anthony looked at him with an expression Colin couldn’t place. “Do you truly see her as a friend?”
“Yes, I have stated as such. I'm sorry, what does this have to do with anything?" Colin asked exasperated.
His brothers shared another knowing look. Colin began to feel weary, though he was happy they had dropped the idea of Penelope being at his disposal to sate his sexual appetite. Not that the idea of kissing her turned him off.
"Nothing Colin." Anthony said at last. "We will keep yours and Miss Featherington secret. But please be careful next time. If Eloise had been the one to find you two conversing easily it would have been difficult. "
"Indeed, it would have." Colin laughed. He felt lighter at the shift in mood.
"Am I allowed to go?"
"Of course, but before you go, tell me once more what you and Miss Featherington were doing alone?"
Colin was confused. Did he not confess that knowledge already? "She is in want of a husband. Seeing as her father has passed, she asked me to help attract a suitor, though she hardly need it. She is a wonderful woman on her own."
Benedict smiled, his humor back on his face. "Indeed, she is. Carry on brother, and do not forget the moment you feel more than familial love towards Penelope you must inform Anthony or I."
"I-" Colin was confused. For the sake of skipping another discussion, he just nodded. "I can do that."
Then he left the study. All these conversations were making him hungry. As he walked to the kitchens, he thought about what he should ask cook for. Strangely, he was in the mood for something red, maybe strawberry flavored and sweet. Yes, that was it!