Archive of Our Own

Proposal.

-

At first, Lan Zhan thinks he's dreaming. Jiang Wanyin could not possibly be here, in the restricted area, in the middle of the night, soaking wet from the thunderous downpour.

"They'll take him away," Jiang Wanyin says. "Help me."

Lan Zhan is barely-dressed, half-asleep, and in the midst of restraining himself from telling Jiang Wanyin to meet him outside.

He has never allowed himself to appear like this outside his family. Even Lan Huan is sometimes politely told to wait for Lan Zhan to get dressed.

But Jiang Wanyin looks panicked beyond belief. There is a wild look in his eyes that Lan Zhan has never seen in a long time, not even in Jiang Wanyin's unreasonable outbursts.

"You may sit," Lan Zhan says.

He retrieves a neatly-folded outer robe, one that he'd worn before bed, and tries to keep himself from obsessing over what's happening. Once Lan Zhan is ready, he turns to see his unexpected guest collapse next to the table at the center of the room.

Jiang Wanyin is always put together, not a hair or sleeve out of place. Not even a day out with children would leave him askew. You would think he's been raised a Lan by birth if it hadn't been for his distinct Yunmeng braids.

"Would you like some tea?" Lan Zhan asks.

No response. Lan Zhan doesn't think he even heard. Naturally, Lan Zhan cannot find it in himself to make a move, either.

It is always quiet in the Jingshi. But he's never associated Jiang Wanyin with being deathly quiet.

Jiang Wanyin is always answering the children's questions, muttering while cleaning up after them, or quietly admonishing when necessary. It feels wrong for a room to be this silent in his presence.

"They're taking him," Jiang Wanyin blurts. He doesn't respond to Lan Zhan's offer of tea at all, as if he hadn't been able to process anything since he's come rushing through the door. "They're taking A-Ling."

That gives Lan Zhan pause. "Who?"

"His...grandfather wants him back," Jiang Wanyin says.

"It's too early," Lan Zhan says on instinct, a little annoyed but confused. By the look on Jiang Wanyin's face, it isn't the ideal reaction.

"No, you don't understand," Jiang Wanyin says. "I—he wants to keep A-Ling in Lanling full-time."

Oh.

Jin Ling is in Jiang Wanyin's care every three months. He collectively spends half a year in Lotus Pier, and that's always been the agreement between him and the Jins. A-Ling technically spends an eighth of the year in Gusu, visiting Lan Yuan.

Rather generous of the Jins, if he's being pragmatic about it. Jin Ling does carry Jin Guangshan's name, so they would have more right to his time than anyone. Lan Zhan would believe this, would honestly but tactlessly say so, if it isn't for the fact that he deeply cares about A-Ling, too.

Lan Wangji sits across from him.

"They said— fuck ," Jiang Wanyin jabs his thumb against his thigh. It's a familiar gesture, but a long-forgotten one until tonight. Lan Zhan has only ever seen him do that at the height of the war. "I've been told they're expecting me to...marry soon. No woman would take kindly to a man raising another child that isn't hers," Jiang Wanyin says, thumb sinking deeper against his clothed thigh. "He says...well, it's a letter, so who knows who said it, but—it would be best that A-Ling stays with them now, so he'll get used to not seeing me around."

Lan Zhan bites his cheek.

He cannot imagine...being told to never see A-Yuan again. Worse, being told that A-Yuan is better off not seeing him at all.

"I am also...just his Jiujiu. Not his grandfather."

Or his father , Lan Zhan supplies the unspoken.

The only reason Uncle or the elders can do nothing about A-Yuan is that Lan Zhan is legally recognized as his father. It is in their wall of rules that he has the right to decide what A-Yuan does, what he is allowed, and where he goes.

Jiang Wanyin, on the other hand, is at the mercy of Jin Guangshan.

"I don't have someone to marry, you know this," Jiang Wanyin sighs. "I wanted to tell them there isn't going to ever be, but—they expect an heir. Sect Leaders, you know. They say I'm going to change my mind soon enough."

"And they know this, how?"

Jiang Wanyin's face morphs. He looks angry. "They said that if I can't find one, they can send someone," he says. "They're pushing for a Jin cousin. Someone's cousin's child. I don't know, but it's some Jin."

Ah. A Jin cousin supposedly wouldn't treat A-Ling differently.

They're dangling the prize right in front of Jiang Wanyin's face. If he marries someone else, he loses A-Ling. He marries a Jin, he keeps his beloved nephew.

He tells them he doesn't want to marry at all, they'll dismiss it and say he's just saying that to ward them off.

"What if," Lan Zhan says. "What if your wife already adores A-Ling?"

Jiang Wanyin snorts, running a hand down his face in frustration. He looks unhinged. Small locks of hair have escaped his normally smooth and tight braids, droplets drip from his hair and sleeves, and his hand begins to shake from the cold.

It is a sight he's seen before, but it's something Lan Zhan wishes he doesn't always remember. A large part of Lan Zhan's history involves him, even when he actively tries to avoid it.

"You say that as if my mother never existed," Jiang Wanyin says. It feels like something awful. Something old and raw, a wound that never truly healed.

He doesn't know what to say to that.

Jiang Wanyin clears his throat and straightens up in his seat. "Anyway. I don't have a wife or a betrothed, so."

"Hm, you can stay in your guest room."

There isn't enough emotional energy for them to go on tonight.

-

The history of them is hazy, unclear how or why they've come to this point. They started in indifference one summer, formed a partnership through the war as mere boys, drawn away from each other for reasons more than one.

Lan Zhan attributes everything to circumstance. One day, he leaves A-Yuan to play outside on his own and Jin Ling's little legs had walked to the restricted area. Jiang Wanyin wasn't even meant to be there, only coming to report an emergency in Gusu territory after picking up Jin Ling.

Perhaps, they always had common ground. The children are one of the many that have drawn them together, like whirlpools in the open sea.

In the early morning, Lan Zhan dreams of something awful. He doesn't remember images of the dream when he wakes, just the feeling of it. He feels the cracks on something vaguely important, something that's threatening to break in half before he could do anything about it.

-

"Hawang-jun," Jin Ling babbles, sticking one of Lan Zhan's new brushes in his mouth.

"Don't," Lan Zhan says, softly. He gently pulls Jin Ling's arm and gives him a freshly-cleaned inkstone to distract him from the brush. He bites on it, too, but at least he's not getting any splinters from it.

He watches Jiang Wanyin steep the tea as Lan Zhan wipes the drool off A-Ling's newly-freed hand. A-Yuan is helping by holding on to the pouch of tea leaves brought from Yunmeng.

Lan Zhan hadn't expected Jin Ling to be here.

Jiang Wanyin had gone back to Lotus Pier after his surprise visit the night before, but he'd been unready to face whatever's waiting for him in Yunmeng. He returns with Jin Ling the next day.

A pleasant surprise, as far as A-Yuan is concerned.

"Do you need more?" Lan Yuan asks, pouch of Yunmeng tea leaves in hand, eyes big and earnest as he looks up at Jiang Wanyin. It's not unlike the rare moments A-Yuan seeks Lan Zhan or his family's approval.

Jiang Wanyin hums. "Hold on, I’ll do this first."

"A-Yuan," Lan Zhan calls.

Lan Yuan immediately moves a bit away from the hot teapot to avoid hurting himself. "Hm!"

Lan Zhan nods, approving. He nearly sighs in fondness.

A-Yuan is a quiet child. He tries not to take up space unless absolutely necessary. Lan Zhan hadn't worried about it at the beginning—his childhood demeanor had nearly been the same, after all.

It was only when A-Ling started to play with him that Lan Zhan's opinion on it changed.

A-Yuan does need someone outside of Lan Zhan. For all of A-Yuan's hesitation to socialize, he does seek approval from the very few people that are important to him.

"Hold this, kid," Jiang Wanyin says, giving Lan Yuan a spare cup.

There is no point for anyone to hold anything, but A-Yuan looks proud that he's contributing to the cause.

"Hm!" A-Yuan smiles.

Lan Zhan spends the rest of the day like this, idle but comfortable. A-Yuan, the more reserved of the boys, plays with A-Ling outside. They are supervised by both the adults through the wide open doors, trusting A-Yuan when he promises not to leave their sight.

"You needed my help," Lan Zhan says, addressing it to the open space instead of the only other person there.

Jiang Wanyin doesn't look up, haunched over letters he isn't reading. "Yeah," he says. "I said that."

Well.

Lan Zhan continues his work of making copies of four-hundred-year-old poems. He finds that Jiang Wanyin doesn't always like being told what to do. Most times Lan Zhan suggested anything to him, he would actually already have his own solutions in mind.

They stay like that for a while. Lan Zhan doesn't know many people who could handle silence as much as he does, to leave each other alone without feeling like starting a conversation to be polite. To be fair, they've both never cared too much about being polite at all, so that could be it.

Finally, Jiang Wanyin sighs, long, deep, and obviously tired.

"If you have a Lan cousin," Jiang Wanyin begins. "Ah, it doesn't even have to be someone that high in rank. It could be a disciple you've known for a while or something. I think—I'm alright with anyone who won't treat A-Ling badly, even if I...well."

Even if he had more children.

Lan Zhan doesn't know why the thought feels...awfully foreign. Like he can't ever imagine Jiang Wanyin marrying someone, having kids, and reworking his entire relationship dynamic with A-Ling.

Maybe A-Yuan, too.

Is that cruel? To never be able to imagine Jiang Wanyin with someone?

"You wish to marry someone you don't know?" Lan Zhan asks.

"Well, you'd know them," Jiang Wanyin says. "If they turn out shitty, it's going to be on you."

Lan Zhan tries to go through names in his head. Possible marriageable candidates in Gusu. There are a lot of them, to be honest.

But Lan Zhan doesn't pick a name.

Like their complicated association, like his complex feelings about it, Lan Zhan doesn't know what leaps he goes through to arrive at the suggestion he's about to make.

"Then marry me," Lan Zhan says, lips moving before he even considers it.

Lan Zhan blinks, shocked at his own words. He hadn't thought it through at all.

The sheer outrageousness of the suggestion doesn't go unnoticed.

Jiang Wanyin finally looks up. "You—" He sputters, then tries to look anywhere but straight into Lan Zhan's eyes. He still looks out of sorts, with wild hair, skewed robes, and everything. "I'm not—I wasn't asking that of you!"

Then.

Lan Zhan should take the way out. Jiang Wanyin is giving it to him. He could pretend he merely slipped, proclaim it a terrible idea, say it's just something he said to be polite.

But he doesn't do that.

Instead, he says, "You weren't. But it is a sound suggestion."

"But you might..."

"Am not," Lan Zhan says.

Jiang Wanyin had seen the proposals before. He's even heard A-Yuan talk about it a few too many times. Jiang Wanyin knows Lan Zhan has never wanted to respond to any of the offer letters stacked tall near the foot of his bed.

"I—" Jiang Wanyin finally looks him in the eye. It is solemn, confused, and quite possibly scared. "Please...think about it. I'm. Let's not make hasty decisions."

Jiang Wanyin continues to speak, but it’s so hushed that Lan Zhan couldn't hear most of it. Lan Zhan lets him get it out of his system, catching phrases like, you could still look for someone and I don't have to do it right now and or we can try the matchmaker again .

When he's done speaking, fidgeting, sputtering, Jiang Wanyin sighs. He sounds exhausted.

Jiang Wanyin's shoulders drop, like he's been dangling on a tight string and it finally snapped.

Lan Zhan hums, in place of the unspoken I will think about it. He's sure Jiang Wanyin knows what that means.

-

Later, Lan Zhan will think back and realize Jiang Wanyin doesn't do much to fight it. He tells Lan Zhan to think about it, to not be hasty, but he doesn't outrightly say "no".

Lan Zhan wonders if the sigh he let out was a sigh of relief.

A fortnight later, a large batch of silks and other treasures arrive at Lotus Pier.

Fallout.

-

News travels fast in the Jianghu. All these learned, venerable Cultivators beat out gossiping middle-aged uncles and aunties, Jiang Cheng swears.

By the third day of receiving the Gusu silks, he receives about seven different letters from Great and small sects alike.

The first of which comes from Zewu-Jun requesting his permission to travel to Lotus Pier. Others begrudgingly congratulating him. One isn't exactly subtle about being bitter, congratulating him while saying their daughter can give him children. He even gets one from Nie Huaisang, whose friendship with Jiang Cheng had completely depleted sometime after the war.

It doesn't escape his notice that news has completely spread all over Lotus Pier, too.

"Sect Leader Jiang, if it's not too rude to ask," Elder Lou opens, like he's setting up for something.

It is , Jiang Cheng thinks, but he doesn't say. No one, so far, has asked him for details. It's just who's this from ? Is this yours ? Where do you want this to go, Sect Leader? If this is the questioning he's been fearing, he's extremely underprepared for it.

Jiang Cheng braces himself. "Go on."

"I have failed to notice that Hanguang-jun sent you a proposal."

Elder Lou is one of the most active of the remaining Elders advising him. He's also one of the staunchest supporters of Jiang Cheng accepting proposals—any proposal—but Jiang Cheng supposes that this isn't what he'd meant.

"He has," Jiang Cheng says. "We have discussed it for years."

Years , Jiang Cheng nearly snorts.

Elder Lou hums. "And you accepted immediately?"

Is it so impossible? Would it have been better if Jiang Cheng had asked an unknown Lan cousin instead?

"I have." Jiang Cheng tries to look Elder Lou in the eye, hyper-conscious of being found out. "He asked in person, and I accepted immediately."

This isn't a formal meeting, just some conversion in the middle of the hot training field, so he dearly hopes he isn't going to ask too many questions. They should be discussing this at a later time, maybe tomorrow morning or tonight. The wishful thought is the only thing that's keeping Jiang Cheng from going tense all over.

"I suppose there's no need for a matchmaker if the candidate is this high in rank," the Elder says.

He sounds like he begrudges it, but it's also true that none of the candidates they've eyed equal the status of Hanguang-jun. If they're looking for a politically-beneficial marriage, Jiang Cheng is handing it to them in a handcrafted, centuries-old teapot.

"Can I just say something, Sect Leader?"

Jiang Cheng's eye contact wavers.

Is it that suspicious? Is it so hard to believe that he might marry someone? Should he do something to make it more convincing?

"Go on."

"You've known each other since you were boys," Elder Lou says. "You don't have to force yourself into marriage if you've...lost your virtue."

Jiang Cheng blinks. "Huh?"

Elder Lou doesn't seem to ooze suspicion as Jiang Cheng had expected. He looks rather relaxed, if not a little amused.

"If something has happened, and Hanguang-jun has offered to take responsibility for no other reason than reputation…" Elder Lou says. "There is no need to rush it."

He feels his face go very, very hot. "I—There isn't...What are you talking about?"

Elder Lou smiles. "I've been young before. It's alright, Sect Leader."

-

Jin Ling learns about the impending marriage five days after the gifts arrive.

And he is crying.

This happens, of course, in the middle of the field when Jiang Cheng is supervising. Jin Ling trots into the crowd of disciples, plants himself in front of his Jiujiu, and screams, "you don't love me anymore!"

Needless to say, everybody else on the field pretends not to hear anything as Jiang Cheng excuses himself away from the crowd. This is common practice at this point—if Jin Ling is upset, everyone else should keep going without Sect Leader Jiang.

He takes A-Ling to the gardens, where there are still people, but none close enough that they'd need to pretend they're not eavesdropping. It's not like anyone's been trying to hide the fact they're talking about him anyway.

Jiang Cheng rocks the child as he stands in the middle of the shrubbery. "Hey," he says. "What's happened?"

"You don't love me anymore!" Jin Ling screams, even shriller this time.

There's snot and spit all over the kid's face. It's on his sleeves and the front of his robes, too.

"Who said that?" Jiang Cheng says, trying his best to wipe the snot off his nephew's face. "Let me talk to them."

"You!" Jin Ling wails. "You replace me!"

Ah.

So that's what it is.

Jiang Cheng readjusts A-Ling in his arms. "A-Ling," he soothes. "I'm marrying Hanguang-jun."

The familiar name doesn't help.

"Jiujiu replace me!" Jin Ling cries again.

Jiang Cheng tries to move around. When Jin Ling is this upset, he ends up losing breath and choking on his own tears. He needs to find a spot with more air—something, anything.

"A-Ling, listen to Jiujiu," Jiang Cheng says. "It's Hanguang-jun. You like him, right? And Lan Yuan, too. You'll see them more often now, isn't that nice?"

"No! Jiujiu will have babies and replace A-Ling!"

"Oh, gods." Jiang Cheng finally finds a shaded area by the ponds, careful not to faceplant with his nephew in his arms. "Jiujiu is not having babies. Hanguang-jun already has a baby, and he's bigger than you."

A-Ling doesn't say more. For as loud as he is normally, he goes silent and pouts when he's extremely upset. He hides his face on Jiang Cheng's chest, refusing to listen. Jiang Cheng tries to coax him by pointing at the pheasants nearby, tries to get the child to look at him, but A-Ling doesn't budge.

Jin Ling avoids eye contact better than either Jiang Cheng or Lan Wangji ever will.

"A-Ling is still Xiao-Ling, you know that, right? Yuan-ge is now going to live here, and A-Ling will see him more," Jiang Cheng says.

They haven't really sorted out the whole living arrangements thing, but he shouldn't be obsessing over it, right? Although Lan Wangji is technically the husband with his first move, Jiang Cheng is still a Sect Leader who can't go off to live with his in-laws in Gusu. So, Lan Wangji will be the one to move to Lotus Pier.

The idea is still strange, somehow.

They've spoken about the betrothal in the Cloud Recesses. Jiang Cheng had surrendered his pride right before leaving; he had told Lan Wangji that he would accept if the offer is serious and would be fine if it is not.

He'd even gotten a letter in between his trip to the Cloud Recesses and receiving the silks, with Lan Wangji asking permission to send the first batch of betrothal gifts. He should be getting used to it at this point, but he can't manage it somehow.

"How about that, hm? Hanguang-jun will be here to play with A-Ling, too," Jiang Cheng says, and Jin Ling loses some of the tense energy.

It seems like a good sign.

Jin Ling peeks at Jiang Cheng from behind his fisted little hand. "Yuan-ge is here?"

"Soon," Jiang Cheng says.

In-laws.

-

There is a strange feeling Lan Zhan gets about all this—It's easy.

All too easy, that he doesn't even face the most minor of his expected repercussions.

The disciples he'd asked to send the gifts to Yunmeng never asked questions, just got up and prepared everything for the delivery. Lan Huan seemed extremely unsurprised, so much so that he didn't even have any outward reaction to Lan Zhan asking him permission. The disciples, who normally get curious about anything Lan Zhan does, don't bring it up to him at all.

He'd been made to copy the rules four times, for "essentially eloping" although no wedding had happened yet.

Having handled discipline before, Lan Zhan knows he shouldn't just be doing four copies. He should've done it twice for not informing the Elders, thrice for skipping the matchmaking, and twice for colluding with the disciples in delivering his betrothal gifts.

Some part of him dreads the ease at which this happened. Nothing ever happens this easily, nothing goes this smoothly, not without something terrible to equalize it.

"I thought you'd fly into the wall."

Lan Zhan looks up to see Jiang Wanyin. He hadn't realized he'd landed in front of the back entrance through the gardens.

He's been taking the route for so long that it all seems instinctive; as if he knows the way to Lotus Pier like the back of his hand.

"Welcome back," Jiang Wanyin says.

He's in one of his nicest sets of robes, just a step down from the ones he saves for the rarest of important occasions. Other than that, he looks like he always does: prim, proper, neat, and everything a sect leader should be.

Jiang Wanyin shifts a little and looks behind Lan Zhan. "You left your party."

Several Cultivators land behind Lan Zhan, some of whom are gasping from the exertion of flying faster than necessary.

Come to think of it, Lan Huan had meant for them to arrive mid-afternoon. It's midday.

He turns, meaning to apologize, but Lan Huan waves him off with a familiar look of amusement. "Running off on his own. Unsurprising," Lan Huan says, then regards Jiang Wanyin. "Sect Leader Jiang."

No one else probably notices, but Jiang Wanyin tenses up. He suddenly takes a pause, motionless for a good few moments before he snaps out of it.

"Ah, apologies, Zewu-jun," Jiang Wanyin salutes back. "It's been a long time."

"We should be the ones to apologize," Lan Huan says. "This isn't where guests come in, I assume?"

Oh. Oh no.

"I’m sorry," Lan Zhan tells Jiang Wanyin. He looks to his brother, too; both embarrassed and regretful. This isn't going well, is it?

"It's alright." Jiang Wanyin says.

He looks meaningfully at Lan Zhan, as if silently scolding him for leading his party to the wrong entrance. It's like when Jiang Wanyin looks to him after Sect Leader Yao says something terribly obnoxious, when Jin Ling is about to burst into uncontrollable tears, or when he's trying to get Lan Zhan to ease up on A-Yuan's lessons.

“Well, at least we can start early," Jiang Wanyin says. Then, voice lowered, he goes, "It's naptime for Jin Ling."

Lan Zhan is suddenly confused and...oh.

He has been looking around the whole time.

"He has some blue pigments to show you, apparently," he jerks his chin at Lan Zhan's stark white robes. "Good luck."

Jiang Wanyin looks to Lan Huan again, expression changing, then says, "You'll have to walk the whole way around to get to my office, though,"

"Indeed," Lan Huan says. "Lan Yuan still has lessons."

Jiang Wanyin nods, and leads them through Lotus Pier.

-

Normally, for visiting people like this, Jiang Cheng would've asked them to have tea in the pavilion by the river. But they've been drinking tea while they're aggressively negotiating dowry and sect arrangements, so they've been doing that for half a day now.

Instead, Jiang Cheng offers Lan Xichen a tour of the gardens out back, explaining rare Yunmeng flowers to him for the lack of a decent conversation starter. Jiang Cheng isn't even all that familiar with most of the plants around here.

"The lotus ponds, you did yourself?" Lan Xichen asks.

"Yeah," he says. "For a summer project. The children helped."

"It's wonderful."

Jiang Cheng wants this to be over, and fast.

He's never been around Lan Xichen for long extents, save when they're busy talking about important things. This is more casual, which only ever happens when Lan Wangji is around, too. Tragically, this is a brief break from their otherwise very formal meeting, and Lan Wangji still needs to watch the children while Jiang Cheng faces the full passive aggressiveness of Lan Xichen on his own.

"Ah," Lan Xichen says. "You have gentians here."

Jiang Cheng looks to the left of the gardens, where blue, nearly violet gentians line the walls. There didn't used to be this many, but they've been planted and have multiplied through the years; enough to line the entire perimeter of the gardens.

"These only grow in Gusu, yes?" Lan Xichen asks, like an inspector.

"Hm," Jiang Cheng nods. "Not my handiwork."

Lan Xichen regards the flowers with curiosity. "If you have space for a magnolia tree, I can send you something."

There are so many magnolia trees in Gusu. Jiang Cheng's memory of seeing them has only ever been in two places: the Library Pavilion and the quiet space behind the Jingshi. Somehow, both always have Jin Ling and A-Yuan in them, as if they can never be removed in the Cloud Recesses that Jiang Cheng knows.

"I know those were wild rabbits," Jiang Cheng says. "But perhaps we can add more grass out here."

Lan Xichen hums.

"You don't have to, just a suggestion."

"I know."

Right.

They're never going anywhere with this.

Jiang Cheng sighs. "You don't like me."

Lan Xichen's expression doesn't turn sharp, angered, or annoyed. Instead, his pleasant expression turns blank, and serene, a sure sign that something else is brewing underneath.

Oh, he's done it now.

"On the contrary, I quite like what you've done for Wangji," Lan Xichen says, which is terribly difficult to parse if true. "If you were to ask me if I was surprised, the answer is no."

Jiang Cheng doesn't know what to say to that.

"Sect Leader Jiang, if you would pardon my forwardness," Lan Xichen says. "If this is some strategic intersect deal between you two, you'll both regret it later."

No.

Jiang Cheng is suddenly numb, blood draining from his face in an instant. He thinks, does he know? Who else knows?

Does everyone know?

He swallows, tries to push down the heart that's stuck in his throat. He can't give it away. He shouldn't.

When he manages to get his words out, they spill harsh, sharp, and out-of-control. "I'm sorry, Zewu-jun, I knew you didn't always think so highly of me, but I didn't know you thought your brother the same."

Lan Xichen doesn't flinch, doesn't blink. His expression doesn't change at all. "I don't have a particularly friendly relationship with you, but I have never looked down upon you, Sect Leader Jiang," he says. "From a Sect Leader's perspective, you have done very well."

So, why?

As if sensing the unspoken question, Lan Xichen says, "You must understand, I'm his brother. It's normal for me to worry." He looks to the line of gentians once more, staring adamantly, like he's trying to understand something. "Forgive me, Jiang Wanyin. I'm just being a typical overprotective in-law, as they say. I hadn't even expected to be one."

Well.

Jiang Cheng rubs his face. "Listen, I get it. I just wanted to surprise the husband, alright? And you're my only contact at Gusu." He's still a little frustrated, and maybe they're never going to be friends at all, but this is a start. "So? What do you think? Should I plant some grass for twenty rabbits?"

-

You would think a newly-engaged man should have some time to rejoice in his betrothal, especially on the evening of marriage negotiations getting finalized.

But no, Jiang Cheng is given a stack of letters from Sect Leader Yao, demanding that Yunmeng Jiang compensate him for not getting their desired political groom. It is also hinted that the Yao Sect had been eyeing both him and Hanguang-jun for this exploit, so they now are offended twice over for two indirect rejections.

"What am I, his mother?" Jiang Cheng grunts.

Lan Wangji clears his throat right as Jiang Cheng is done reading the letters out loud. Jiang Cheng has learned to recognize this as Lan Wangji's version of snickering, his silent way of proclaiming something is ridiculous. Most times, he's agreeing with what Jiang Cheng is brave enough to vocalize when he cannot.

"What? You're going to deal with this too, you know," Jiang Cheng says, and he feels a certain way about it.

This isn't the first that he dares to hint at the impending marriage. He drops small hinting comments, mostly because it's hard not to when faced with the fact all the time. Especially because Lan Wangji is here, in his office like always, loitering or reading as he deems fit while Jiang Cheng does his work.

He wonders if Lan Wangji is going to oppose when he does it one too many times.

Jiang Cheng wonders if he'll be angry about it if Lan Wangji decides to retract everything he's ever said up to his point. Would it hurt? If Lan Wangji realizes this wasn't a good idea? Jiang Cheng doesn't know. He has not allowed himself to consider these things due to the severely lacking options he could do right now.

That, and the dangerously close call with Lan Xichen. Jiang Cheng isn't even sure if Zewu-jun knows anything, but it's not like his general opinion of Jiang Cheng will change.

"We haven't agreed to meet with a matchmaker," Lan Wangji says.

Jiang Cheng hums. "So, no responsibility there, then?"

"Hm."

Jiang Cheng takes a blank sheet of paper and a brush. "Sounds great for me—"

Lan Wangji clears his throat.

"What now?"

"It might be best not to offend."

Jiang Cheng blinks. "Sect Leader Yao?"

Lan Wangji ignores him and buries his nose in his book.

"You ? Considerate of Sect Leader Yao?"

The response he gets is a scolding frown. Lan Wangji lowers his book so Jiang Cheng can see, enough to get across how much he doesn't recommend doing it. "At least find somewhere else to trade rice grains with."

"You…" Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes. "Ugh."

Lan Wangji once complained (or lightly grumbled) about getting forced to do things when Lan Xichen is off on a Nighthunt. Jiang Cheng thought it'd all been internal stuff, like disciple training, lectures, and handing out punishments.

Imagine his surprise when he finds out Lan Wangji goes to inter-sect meetings, too—one of which has been to negotiate prices of goods traded from Yunmeng. Jiang Cheng very nearly got a bad deal, and he doesn't think he completely forgives Lan Wangji for that one.

"Why," Jiang Cheng says. "Why do you stop me from being a bastard when I want to be?"

Lan Wangji makes a face.

"Fine." Jiang Cheng takes a scrap of paper, one he's already written on, and starts drafting a semi-apologetic letter and a promise to sort things out in the trade negotiations. "Should I tell him you're sorry, too? Or is that rubbing it in?"

"Don't."

-

Had this been any other scenario, Lan Xichen wouldn't have to leave the Cloud Recesses to finalize the betrothal. But these are strange times, and Zewu-jun had to make sure he neglects neither his baby brother nor his sect.

They're at the right spot this time, at the main entrance where they should've landed yesterday. Everyone from the Lan party is saying their polite goodbyes, preparing to mount their swords and fly back to Gusu.

"Ah, Sect Leader Jiang, I know this has been a long time coming, but I would suggest that you do the…typical practices betrotheds do," Lan Xichen says.

"I beg your pardon?"

"We don't want rumors to go out of hand."

Jiang Cheng raises an eyebrow. "...rumors."

"Wangji is staying for the rest of the week, I assume?"

"I don't know—"

"Hm," Lan Wangji says. "I'll be back after I get Lan Yuan."

There's a knowing look on Lan Xichen's face. It's as if he's expecting Jiang Cheng to know what that means.

He doesn't say what it means, then salutes Jiang Cheng. "Lotus Pier is pleasant as always, Sect Leader Jiang," he says. "We'll be off."

In-between.

-

Yunmeng Jiang's disciples have lost several people before its rebuilding, so of course, no one is old enough to have had children of their own. For the most part, his head disciple can briefly look after the children when either Jiang Cheng or Lan Wangji needs to focus on other things.

To be honest, they really don't have to, but they like the children enough to sit with them while waiting for their actual guardians. They are, however, unable to handle anything outside of the children being calm and playful.

He hears his head disciple frantically walk through the halls where the family chambers are, and Jiang Cheng is immediately standing up and sliding the door open.

"A-Ling," Jiang Cheng coos, taking the sniffling child in his arms. He instinctively looks around and finds Lan Yuan standing right behind Jiang Hongbo. Lan Yuan isn't in as bad of a state as Jin Ling, but his lashes are damp. "Come here."

Lan Yuan approaches, avoiding eye contact. He doesn't speak, a very sure sign that he's very, very upset. Meanwhile, Jin Ling is full of snot and hiccuping, so there's no way Jiang Cheng's ever going to get anything out of them for a while.

Instead, Jiang Cheng looks to his head disciple, who seems like he's about to faint right where he stands. "What's happened?"

"Ah...I apologize, Sect Leader Jiang," he says, bowing low and fast. "Lan Yuan started crying, and Jin-gongzi is now, too."

Jiang Cheng frowns. "Where's Lan Wangji?"

"Hanguang-jun has left to help with the Library, Sect Leader Jiang. He'll be back soon, but...He left the boys with me, but I haven't been able to calm them down."

Jiang Cheng pats A-Yuan's head. "I see," he says. "Sorry. This wasn't your responsibility."

When this happens, Lan Yuan prefers to hide away in the nearest corner he can find. The best thing to do would be to get him somewhere Jiang Cheng can see, maybe with A-Ling around to keep him distracted.

"Come on," he gently urges Lan Yuan into the room, leading him to the bed where he can hide away in the sheets. A-Ling follows, hiccuping still. "A-Ling is going to take a nap with you, alright?"

Lan Yuan nods.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

The kid shakes his head.

"Alright, time for a nap."

A-Yuan nods obediently, still refusing to speak. Whatever it is, they'll have to sort it out before bedtime. No good things happen when you leave children to overthink before bed.

Jiang Cheng holds a sigh. "I'll wake you up for late supper, okay?"

Lan Yuan looks like he's about to say something, but his gaze goes to the door behind Jiang Cheng. He looks cautious, making the same hesitant expression he does when Elders are around to hear him.

Right.

Before Jiang Cheng can turn and dismiss Jiang Hongbo, he hears Lan Wangji say, "This is the family chambers."

His voice comes from across the hall, as if he'd started to speak before he could even reach the doors.

"Ah, Hanguang-jun," the disciple squeaks. "I bought the boys here. Apologies, we didn't know what to do..."

"The Library is closer," Lan Wangji declares, eyebrows twitching just a little to indicate a hint of annoyance. He's using that flat, monotonous tone that is unwelcoming of anyone who questions it.

"I'll—" Jiang Honbo looks at Lan Wangji, then at Jiang Cheng, seemingly hesitant to leave. "I shouldn't—Zewu-jun would—"

"No one will see you on your way out," Lan Wangji says, firm and final.

Jiang Hongbo looks like he's about to jump out of his skin. "Ah...I apologize."

The poor man apologizes three times more to both of them, still frantically looking around like he's waiting for Lan Wangji to say otherwise. Then, he takes one look at Lan Wangji's face, sees something, then all but bolts out of the private family halls.

Jiang Cheng stares at the way he's gone, feeling really confused about the whole encounter.

All these people act like they've something to worry about; as if they haven't left him and Lan Wangji to their own devices for the better part of the last five years.

Oh well. He won't have to deal with any more of it soon, at least.

Lan Wangji clears his throat, far louder than he normally would, as if to remind Jiang Cheng he's there. He still has on his plainest Lan robes, the kind he wears during long travels and Nighthunts. Lan Wangji hadn't rested at all today, it seems.

"Need something?" Jiang Cheng asks, challenging.

Lan Wangji looks at the lump of boys and pillows on Jiang Cheng's bed, concerned. Assured by what he sees, he looks at Jiang Cheng again, silently asking for more details.

"You know how he is," Jiang Cheng says, voice lowered. "I hope you don't mind if we feed them later than usual."

"Hm."

"I saw you slipped them too many snacks this afternoon, though, so I guess they're fine."

"Hm."

"You should have supper now, though," Jiang Cheng says.

He doubts there's going to be time for them to eat very well if the boys are this upset. It'll certainly help for it to not be that bad, of course, but Jiang Cheng has since learned it's never that easy.

"Hm," Lan Wangji nods.

Jiang Cheng expects him to go, but Lan Wangji doesn't move. They stand there, just staring at each other like idiots waiting for something to happen. This isn't exactly uncommon, but Jiang Cheng should be able to pick up on what Lan Wangji wants by this point.

When Lan Wangji finally moves, he doesn't head straight out the door. Instead, he walks further into the room. Jiang Cheng eyes him curiously as he approaches the bed, expecting him to check on the children, but Lan Wangji reaches for a discarded robe on the floor.

It's Jiang Cheng's outer robe.

Lan Wangji wordlessly hands it over. The gesture isn't like he's showing it to Jiang Cheng, but…asking him to put it on.

"What."

"I'm having the food sent here."

"So?"

"People will come in."

Jiang Cheng is confused. "Okay?"

He's met with slight frustration, Lan Wangji's brows knitting horribly. Is Jiang Cheng stupid?

"People will come in, and you are not properly dressed," Lan Wangji says, then walks off.

-

Jiang Cheng brings it up while they're all seated in the middle of the room, idle.

Jin Ling is tucked away in his own room, a measure to ensure A-Yuan's distress doesn't put both of them in a cycle of upset. Jiang Cheng is not entirely sure if that's the best way to do it, but it's always worked before.

Jiang Cheng hears Lan Wangji ask, "Do you want to tell us what's been bothering you?"

The plates and bowls have been taken back to the kitchens and the table wiped clean. All of them are way past their bedtime, but A-Yuan has taken too long a nap to be sleepy right now.

"Do you want to be alone with your father?" Jiang Cheng asks.

Lan Yuan shakes his head.

"Alright," he says, then eyes Lan Wangji.

Lan Wangji looks like he dreads it.

Jiang Cheng is normally left to do most of the speaking when it comes to the boys. Jin Ling and Lan Yuan run into the same trouble half the time, so they're occasionally getting gently admonished together. Lan Wangji, on the other hand, will start doing something else or keep quiet long enough for Jiang Cheng to have no choice but to do the talking himself.

But.

Jiang Cheng is wary about doing all that when only Lan Yuan is involved. A-Yuan isn't his , for one.

But Lan Wangji sometimes doesn't always know what to say, ends up getting misunderstood, and they're left with a bigger mess than they started with.

"What made you cry?" Lan Wangji asks, and Jiang Cheng hides his face to conceal his cringe.

Ah, of course.

Straightforward as always.

Lan Yuan, fortunately, is used enough with Lan Wangji that it doesn't faze him. He looks down, keeping his eyes on the table. "It's silly," Lan Yuan says.

"Why do you think so? Lan Wangji says. Then, he side-eyes Jiang Cheng like he's regretting what he'd just said.

Poor man.

Jiang Cheng decides to help with, "I'm sure it isn't."

Lan Yuan starts moving his fingers around, watching them move. His go-to way of distracting himself when holding back tears. Jiang Cheng wonders if that's what he looks like spinning Zidian around his finger until his skin chafes.

"I—I wanted to write this...letter, and Bo-ge was teaching me, but I can't get it."

Lan Wangji hums. "What letter?"

"It's..." Lan Yuan trails off.

Jiang Cheng lightly taps the mats beside Lan Wangji, catching his attention.

"You don't have to tell us," Lan Wangji amends.

A-Yuan doesn't immediately respond.

Noises from outside leak through. Lotus Pier doesn't have an early curfew like the Lans, but people start to close their front doors at this time. Stables open and close, the kitchenware clink around, and disciples quiet down.

They wait him out, as they always have.

"I want to finish it before the wedding," Lan Yuan says.

Oh?

Lan Wangji doesn't speak for a while, then asks, "Is it for us?"

With hesitation, the boy shakes his head.

"Is it for Sect Leader Jiang?"

Lan Yuan stills, like he's been caught.

If Jiang Cheng wasn't so surprised himself, he would've caught the way Lan Wangji gets taken aback. Jiang Cheng very nearly asks why Lan Yuan would ever write a letter for him, but Lan Wangji guesses it faster than he can figure it out.

"Did you want to give him a wedding gift?"

Jiang Cheng blinks.

With a few moments of hesitation, Lan Yuan finally nods.

Oh.

So.

Jiang Cheng doesn't know what he feels. The closest thing he remembers feeling like this is when Jin Ling had peeled lotus seeds for him. He'd cried himself to sleep, then.

"You have time," Lan Wangji gets out. And, like a classic Lan, he quotes one of their million rules, saying, "Never rush."

Waiting.

-

As the wedding nears, Lan Zhan begins to believe it's going to be alright. An auspicious date is chosen, the usual pre-wedding rituals are scheduled, and Jiang Wanyin packs up the agreed dowry.

He walks the streets by the river, occasionally responding to people congratulating him on the impending marriage. As Lan Zhan carries on walking, he's starting to realize that he knows every single vendor on this street.

Auntie Mei, who sells meat and vegetarian pies at the corner. Old man Hu, who makes the most beautiful painted ceramics. A little girl, Tian Tian, helps her older sister sell fruits and flowers.

They greet him as he passes by, not getting in his way or trying to get him to look at what they're selling. He feels the familiar warmth he feels when he's walking down the streets of Caiyi—maybe warmer, the people here don't hesitate as much when greeting him.

"Ah, what do you know," Jiang Wanyin says from behind him. Lan Zhan could recognize his voice anywhere. "I bring you here enough times and now you're their favorite."

Lan Zhan slows down enough to let him catch up.

He feels relief. Everyone being outwardly nice to him is all sorts of overwhelming. While it's not a bad thing, Lan Zhan isn't used to it, not on his own, and to have another there redistributes some of the attention that he can't handle at the moment. 

When Jiang Wanyin is finally walking beside him, he says, "Untrue."

Come to think of it, Lan Zhan doesn't go out to explore Lotus Pier on his own. It's always with Jiang Wanyin, the children, or all four of them. He never expected people to notice him without Jiang Wanyin around, let alone for them to greet and speak to him like he's lived here all his life.

"Hm, maybe," Jiang Wanyin says. "At least we know you'll be fine."

Lan Zhan looks at him, trying to decipher what else could Jiang Wanyin mean. There's always something else when Jiang Wanyin speaks, Lan Zhan finds. It's not just Lan Huan and him who need to be read beyond their words.

And Lan Zhan is right.

Jiang Wanyin blinks fast, taken aback, as if he hadn't meant to say that while looking Lan Zhan in the eye.

"I am fine," Lan Zhan says.

Always have been , Lan Zhan means to say.

Jiang Wanyin looks down, knows Lan Zhan is onto him. He bites his bottom lip, a familiar tell that he's trying to parse out what he wants to say next. Which is strange, Lan Zhan has never known him to hold back before.

"Listen," Jiang Wanyin looks back up at him again. "If you...I know you did this for the kids, alright?"

Lan Zhan nearly misses a step.

"If I were to marry someone else...I won't take A-Ling away from Lan Yuan," Jiang Wanyin says. "Or you."

What is this?

Lan Zhan frowns. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying—I won't take offense if you backed out or decided this isn't the best for you," Jiang Wanyin says. "I can find a way. I can negotiate with Jin Guangshan, give him more favorable trade conditions in return for time with A-Ling. Surely, there's a way we can go about this without putting you on the spot."

Lan Zhan feels...stumped. Is he so undesirable of a spouse? Can Jiang Wanyin never see a companionship with him? A part of him, one he doesn't quite understand, feels stung. "Do you wish to be free of me?"

"No," Jiang Wanyin says. "You offered to marry me because this is the best solution you could come up with. Despite my lack of self-respect these past few years, I cannot accept a pity proposal."

Lan Zhan wants to say he agrees. He'd meant to. It's what he'd been thinking when he'd offered, wasn't it?

"You need not make colossal sacrifices to help me or A-Ling," Jiang Wanyin explains. "We can stick to the initial plan. You can refer me to someone else. Have your brother help me out in the Discussion Conference. I don't know, Wangji, maybe I'll marry Elder Lou’s son instead—"

It comes out before he's able to think about it. Before he could control his voice or his composure.

Lan Zhan says, "No."

Then, it's like everything comes to a halt. The noise of the lively Yunmeng streets fades away, Lan Zhan's full attention honing in on the last word he let slip.

Lan Zhan is...shocked with himself.

His response is loud. Lan Zhan has never heard himself speak so loud. Lan Zhan didn't mean to.

He sees the look of surprise on Jiang Wanyin's face, and Lan Zhan very nearly pulls out Bichen to fly off to who knows where.

Jiang Wanyin stares back at him, eyes likely seeking any possible hint of meaning. They've gotten so good at knowing what the other thinks, but this—this is new. Lan Zhan doesn't even know what he himself is thinking.

"Wh—" Jiang Wanyin tries to speak, to say something, but his eyes snap upwards. The look of shock and confusion morphs, and his face goes grim. Dreading. Jiang Wanyin is both angry and scared.

Lan Zhan looks up, sees men in golden robes flying over them, and he knows it's not a good sign.

-

Lan Zhan doesn't think. He runs.

It occurs to him that his running might be a rare sight. The familiar faces he saw comfort in make way for them, surprised, whispering as Lan Zhan slips past them at full speed.

Was that today? Lan Zhan thinks.

At some point, he wonders if he's overdoing it, but Jiang Wanyin is way ahead of him now.

It is the right decision, then.

Deep in his heart, he knows that the Jins won't stoop so low as to kidnap a child from his Jiujiu. But Lan Zhan feels like he'd left his nest vulnerable to the vultures, threatening to take them away, ruining a balance that he sought comfort in for so many years.

He follows right behind Jiang Wanyin, seeing every desperate step, every wasted movement that's coming from the panic. Jiang Wanyin is normally very controlled, even when he's running through uneven grounds and vine-covered forests.

Now Jiang Wanyin's pushing ahead, nearly trips several times, and is uncharacteristically gasping so heavily. He takes a sharp turn, towards the back entrance where the gardens are, and Lan Zhan doesn't question it.

By the time they reach the property grounds, they head straight for the family hall. This part of the estate is the most peaceful, with faint noises of the lively streets and the rushing river, but the peace just makes Jiang Wanyin's heaving very obvious.

Finally, Jiang Wanyin opens the doors to A-Yuan's room.

"A-Ling," he says, still heavily breathing.

Lan Zhan doesn't know what he'd been expecting. Something horrible, likely. But Jin Ling is here, with Lan Yuan on the floor scribbling with Lan Zhan's new brushes.

Lan Yuan drops the brush, eyes suddenly huge and apologetic. Oh no—

"A-Ling just wanted to borrow it," he explains.

"I know," Lan Zhan says. "It's alright, A-Yuan."

Jiang Wanyin is seemingly in a haze. He goes straight to Jin Ling, falls to his knees, and unflinchingly embraces him despite the ink all over the child's clothes.

"Jiujiu?"

Jiang Wanyin pulls back, reconsiders himself. Now that they're here it feels like all their running has been an irrational thing to do. Lan Zhan has run so far and in a panic, only to see the children safe and unscathed, but now he doesn't know how to go on about this.

What are they to do? Hide the children until all of this is over? Just take them away and never return?

"Wanyin," Lan Zhan calls.

"I know," Jiang Wanyin says. "I know, I know. Give me a moment."

A-Yuan stands up, and he's only a little taller than Jiang Wanyin on his knees. "Are you okay?"

"It's alright, sweetheart," Jiang Wanyin says. "We have guests, you know? I need all of us to clean up."

"Who?" A-Yuan asks.

"Friends," Jiang Wanyin says.

The things they say to keep the children out of it.

Knowing.

-

Jin Ling's time gets split between Lanling and Yunmeng Jiang in equal parts. Jiang Wanyin doesn't get A-Ling on festivals and celebrations, of course, but he's always content with that. He would get Jin Ling when it was time for him to be in Yunmeng, and someone else from the Jins would travel to Lotus Pier to get him back.

Today, Lan Zhan dreads that Jin Ling might never return.

But Jiang Wanyin cannot hide them away in Lotus Pier forever. He cannot be rude about it, too. So, he dresses Jin Ling after a quick rinse and brings Lan Zhan and A-Yuan along to meet with their visiting party.

"I apologize, Lianfang-zun," Jiang Wanyin says upon entering the hall, Lan Zhan and the children trailing behind him. "I had to clean the ink off of A-Ling."

"It's alright," Jin Guangyao says. He has the same neutral smile as Lan Huan, but it's one Lan Zhan doesn't know how to read. "I'm glad A-Ling has a wonderful time."

Jiang Wanyin's face is unreadable. He looks serene, calm, but Lan Zhan knows his mind is in turmoil. He looks back at Lan Zhan and the boys and says, "Come."

When he's in Lotus Pier, Lan Zhan usually joins them for this exchange. But this one feels different. This one feels like Lan Zhan has to make a crucial decision that's going to change everything for him forever.

"Go greet them," Jiang Cheng urges Jin Ling, who skips to politely greet his other uncle and tells him about his day.

As Lan Zhan takes his seat, Jiang Wanyin proceeds with all the formalities. He welcomes Jin Guangyao and three other people Lan Zhan has never seen before, offers them tea and snacks, and asks them about their travels.

"Are you okay?" A-Yuan whispers to him.

"Hm."

It all feels very strained, far too quiet for it to be construed as politeness. Jiang Wanyin falls back to his Sect Leader persona and talks about the crops, the weather, and the changes in trade. He asks about Lanling, too, but Lan Zhan's sure he doesn't really care all that much.

After what feels like an eternity, Jin Guanyao leans back, and says, "Would it be alright for the boys to play outside for a moment?"

Lan Zhan feels dread wash over him.

"Hm," Jiang Wanyin hums. "Alright."

At this, Lan Zhan moves to stand. But something stops him.

That something is Jiang Wanyin, firmly putting his palm on Lan Zhan's folded hands, keeping him where he is. "Stay," Jiang Wanyin says. "Jiang Hongbo is outside."

Lan Zhan looks at him, and finds that Jiang Wanyin is already fervently staring back. Stay, please , his eyes say, but Lan Zhan doesn't know if he should be leaving the children where one of them could easily be snatched away.

But. Lan Zhan trusts Jiang Wanyin's judgment. Especially with the boys. He has always had disagreements with Jiang Wanyin and has spent weeks not speaking to him over a particularly searing argument, but he trusts him with the children.

So, although very confused, Lan Zhan nods.

Jiang Wanyin squeezes his hand. It'll be alright .

Lan Zhan watches as the children go, his heart beating fast. Jiang Wanyin's hand on him is firm, assuring, always the rare steady presence in his life.

"I should have opened with congratulations," Jin Guangyao says.

"You asked the children to leave," Jiang Cheng says. Not hostile, but definitely on guard. He squeezes Lan Zhan's hand one last time, and puts them back in his lap, secured and steady. If he shakes, no one will know. "Surely, you're not just going to congratulate me."

Jin Guangyao's expression changes a little, less forced, but Lan Zhan still doesn't know what it means. Lan Zhan is well-aware that they're being observed this entire time, from their entrance to this very tense point in time, but he doesn't know for what .

"If you wish me to be honest with you, I've been sent here to confirm that this whole thing was a farce," Jin Guangyao says, bluntly. He doesn't normally say things so frankly; always diplomatic, always choosing to be invisible.

Jiang Wanyin lifts his chin, a sign of challenging and being challenged. It's moments like these when his face is suddenly sharper, tenser, his eyes equally menacing and elegant. "And?"

"I don't know," Jin Guangyao shrugs. "It seems Sect Leader Jin is suggesting I look for a reason."

"Do you just do what he says?"

Jin Guangyao's eyes turn dark. A microexpression that would otherwise have gone unnoticed if Lan Zhan himself isn't used to deciphering people through small little signals. "Not forever," Jin Guangyao says. "Hopefully."

The silence stretches in the room. Lan Zhan puts all his effort into not folding and being as intimidating as possible as he's done a thousand times before. He's not sure if it helps or hurts their case, but he feels paralyzed by the tension that swirls inside the main hall.

"Well," Jiang Wanyin says. "Did you find what you're looking for?"

"No," Jin Guangyao says. "It makes sense, to be honest. Although it's still surprising. You had years to marry, why now?"

Why now ? Lan Zhan asks himself that, too. Why not marry two years ago, when the children had long been making trips between Gusu and Yunmeng? Why not marry a year and a half ago, when A-Yuan asks when the wedding will be? Why not marry last year, when Brother suggested they have enough betrothal gifts befitting Lan Zhan and Jiang Wanyin's honor?

"To be honest it shouldn't matter to Sect Leader Jin who I do and do not marry," Jiang Wanyin says.

Jin Guangyao nods, as if to say, please go on .

Had this been two or three years ago, Jiang Wanyin would have already stood, yelled, and walked out. He still does, sometimes, when negotiations and assemblies become too much. The fact that he doesn't burst into flames is a good sign.

There's a nearly unnoticeable hitch in Jiang Wanyin's breathing before he inhales deep, long, but assured. "If you're asking me to prove how the wedding I've been preparing is not a farce, I don't know what to tell you." Jiang Wanyin looks at the floors. "You weren't there. None of you were. I have spent half of the last five years in Gusu. I have spent it looking after our children. I am more concerned about your father taking half of A-Ling's family away from him than I am of losing the chance to see him in Lotus Pier."

The children have always been the children . It's always Lan Yuan and Jin Ling, A-Yuan and A-Ling. Never their children .

Lan Zhan thinks about quiet moments of them, moments when other people weren't there. It's always those unseen memories—bathing both boys after a tussle in the muddy lake, Jiang Wanyin measuring the cough medicine A-Yuan needs to take when he wakes, A-Ling learning an old song from Lan Zhan's childhood on a small practice guqin.

Jiang Wanyin finally looks up, but he avoids Lan Zhan's eyes.

For a long moment, Lan Zhan forgets what they're actually here for—plead Jin Ling's case to be in Lotus Pier. Lan Zhan ruminates there and expects to be shocked in one way, expecting a grand revelation of sorts...but it doesn't happen.

Of course, he doesn't want A-Ling to lose his family. Of course, they're on their way to marry.

Of course , Lan Zhan would've protested at any name thrown in a list of marriageable candidates.

When Lan Zhan finally speaks, his eyes stay on Jiang Wanyin. "I have considered…imagined Jiang Wanyin married someone else. It hasn't felt right, not once." The many times he has done so, it felt like something threatens to break. At the thought of possibly justifying calling off the wedding, of considering Jiang Wanyin might not have wanted this at all, he knows something in him is bound to shatter. Lan Zhan looks at Jin Guangyao, and says, "What does that tell you, Lianfang-zun?"

Jin Guangyao looks to the other unnamed Jins behind him, and says, "Can you leave us alone for a moment?"

The other Jins look annoyed, clearly not anticipating this order.

"Just by the doors would be fine," Jin Guangyao says.

Annoyed, the Jins stand. Lan Zhan fears they would go and take the children, for real this time, but they stay right outside the doors where the three of them can see. They're murmuring to themselves, perhaps bemoaning the fact that they got kicked out of the meeting.

"Sect Leader Jin expects me to find something, and when I do I send this to you." Jin Guangyao lays a piece of paper on his table, too far away for Jiang Wanyin or Lan Zhan to read. He holds it up, and Lan Zhan can more or less see the name of some Jin father. "It's a proposal. From a branch that is close enough to the family."

Jiang Wanyin scowls. "I told you, it isn't a farce ."

"I know. I don’t think you realize how many people already know, Sect Leader Jiang," Jin Guangyao gestures at the letter, and perhaps everything else that has happened so far, scheming and threats and politics and all. "I don't think there's reason to fear Hanguang-jun will treat A-Ling any less, either. He won't be happy about it, but you didn't hear this from me."

As if he didn't just say the last sentence, Jin Guangyao continues. "I'm also to tell that A-Ling will be here until after the wedding, I presume?"

"Then he comes back in three months after that," Jiang Wanyin says with gritted teeth.

"In three months after that," Jin Guangyao confirms.

Jin Guangyao stands, then salutes them. "Sect Leader Jin sends his congratulations to the newly-betrothed."

-

They see them off. As they walk outside, Jiang Wanyin steadies himself on Lan Zhan's arm, returning the same silent comfort as they walk with some of the remaining tension still reverberating in the air.

Lan Zhan imagines what would happen if he'd been far away, knowing this will happen, and he knows he cannot forgive himself.

"You think they'll bring more trouble?" Jiang Wanyin asks, looking menacingly in the direction of Lanling.

Lan Zhan feels some kind of relief, but he knows this isn't over. The children are growing day by day. A-Ling is eventually going to have more responsibilities in Lanling. A-Yuan will soon need to spend more time in the classrooms and training fields of Gusu. There's so much that they might have to deal with from here, but this is a start.

He doesn't think about what to say, doesn't consider what he says next. He just does. "You have me."

He realizes that, much like his first proposal on a rainy night, it doesn't come out of nowhere. Much like his wedding proposal, it hadn't been blurted out in panic or desperation, but as a natural reaction.

It makes sense that Lan Zhan will be here, that Lan Zhan marries him, that Lan Zhan doesn't know how he will ever continue without him.

Jiang Wanyin finally, finally looks him in the eye. He is looking for something, gaze fixed entirely on Lan Zhan's face, seeking signs like he'd adamantly done today on the streets of Lotus Pier.

 "No," Lan Zhan repeats what he had said. "I'm afraid I cannot imagine taking this back."

He wonders if there's something they need to talk about, and maybe they do. Maybe it needs to be done later tonight. But Lan Zhan knows himself, knows what he feels, and has almost always known what Jiang Wanyin feels.

Jiang Wanyin continues to look at him, then finds his answer.

Warmth blooms from where Jiang Wanyin lays his head on Lan Zhan's shoulder. Close to his heart. Close enough that he might hear it singing. He cannot help but drop a small kiss to the top of his bethroted's head, a rare thing that he now feels like he's allowed to do more of from now on.

"I have you," Jiang Wanyin says.

Lan Zhan is, as everyone else in his life had said, not surprised. It is easy. It is a good thing that it is easy.

"We should find our children," Lan Zhan says.