Chapter Text
Cold wind whips in Jacks face and ice shards, fine as needles, fly into his eyes.
The ice spirit doesn’t even notice them, his escape from the guardians too hasty, too fast.
They don’t want him anymore.
New tears shoot into his eyes when he remembers their looks and he pushes at the howling wind to go faster, faster.
But even though the noise is unbearably loud, it can’t drown out the memories replaying in his mind.
The nightmares attacked the tunnels. They smashed every egg, crushed every basket. Nothing made it to the surface.
The wind around him fortifies when he reaches the outskirts of Antarctica.
Not much longer and he is finally where he wants to be.
Far away from the world.
Alone.
As it should be.
He collapses in the icy desert, wind howling, a blizzard in full swing.
He’s not sure if it’s his work.
He’s too numb to care about controlling his powers.
When he looks at the little box in his hand, the wind screams.
Where did you get that? Where’s Baby Tooth? Oh Jack! What have you done?
He sobs. It’s the only thing he is able to do right now.
The memories are suffocating, the guilt overbearing.
The snow that falls around Jack seems like a caress, the winds way of comforting him.
It isn’t enough.
That is why you weren’t here? You were with Pitch?
He screams his frustration into the wind. He wasn’t with Pitch. He didn’t want it to happen.
Why couldn’t the guardians understand?
He yearns to know why he is here.
What is wrong with that?
He shoots an icy blast at a rock formation in the distance. It hits and with a horrible groan, the rock gives way and collapses.
No! Listen. Listen. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen!
He looks at the box clasped in his hand.
The memories are the reason where he is now.
Alone.
Without guidance.
He can’t bear another 300 years of loneliness.
He has to go.
His grip tightens.
When he gets up, the wind howls in protest.
She doesn’t want him to do what he is going to.
He doesn’t care.
We should never have trusted you!
He remembers the fist.
His fear.
The punch that never came.
Now he yearns for it.
Maybe it would make it easier to hate them.
Easter is new beginnings, new life. Easter’s about hope. And now it’s gone.
He clenches his teeth.
That isn’t his fault.
The guardians had to rely on him to defeat their enemy!
Pitch.
The name strikes him with such force, that he collapses onto the ground once again.
His words force their way into Jacks mind, and he shakes his head, a desperate attempt to keep out his voice.
It’s intoxicating.
It’s enticing.
A temptation too big to think about.
Maybe I want what you have. To be believed in.
The first time seeing Pitch.
He remembers it in such detail.
It’s overwhelming, but he has no choice. He listens.
It’s everything he wants. And Pitch just said it out loud.
Without even knowing him.
Well – that isn’t quite true.
Jack’s sure that Pitch was as aware of his presence as all the other spirits.
He even saw him a few times, hiding under beds, sucking up every little scrap of fear he could get.
Being ignored.
Maybe I’m tired of hiding under beds. – Maybe, that’s where you belong!
Jack shudders at the memory.
Enough.
He slams down his staff and for a moment, everything goes still.
The wind stops howling.
The snow stops falling.
And then everything resumes.
Jack isn’t strong enough to maintain this state of frozen time for long.
The teeth feel heavy in his hand.
He wants to get rid of them.
And so, he orders the wind to fly him to a rock formation that looms over the Antarctic Sea that is not quite frozen over yet.
He contemplates.
Seconds stretch into minutes.
Minutes into eternity.
He can’t do it.
He sacrificed so much for the teeth.
And so, just before he throws the box into the sea, never to be seen again, he stops.
“I thought this might happen.”
Suddenly, he hears Pitch.
Anger flashes through him.
How dare he show himself, after everything he’s done?
Jack desperately tries to ignore the small voice in his head.
He’s come for me.
He remembered me and went through the effort of searching for me.
It’s more than the guardians ever did for me.
“They never really believed in you. I was just trying to show you that. But I understand.”
Jack turns to face him, all his emotions spiraling out of control.
The older spirits stands out against the snow.
A black ghost amidst the sea of white.
It’s mesmerizing.
Jack shoots at him with all he has left.
He misses.
“You don’t understand anything!” he shouts.
He wants to shut Pitch out so badly.
Because the older spirits voice is smooth like oil, covering him in slick promises that he simply can’t escape.
Jack shoots one blast of ice after the other, but Pitch blocks every blow.
He’s learned to be more cautious after the last incident with Jack.
It’s utterly frustrating.
"No? I don’t know what it’s like to be cast out?”
He attacks Jack in a whirlwind of black sand and Jack has serious problems with blocking it.
When it rains ice and dust particles, his world shrinks, his vision blurrs.
“To not be believed in? To long for… a family?”
The words spark something in Jack.
He knows that they are measured, meant to lull him into the spider net that is Pitch’s darkness.
But they sound so… promising.
“All those years in the shadows I thought no one else knows what this feels like. But now I see I was wrong. We don’t have to be alone, Jack. I believe in you. And I know children will, too.”
There is nothing that Jack wants to do more than just give in.
Make this easy for himself. But words come to the forefront of his mind, and he hesitates.
This is wrong.
Oh good. A neutral party. Then I’m going to ignore you. But – you must be used to it by now.
But Pitch said those before he knew what Jack can do.
Now, the situation is different.
Because even though he might be neutral, he is powerful.
Too powerful to be ignored.
“Believe? In me?”
The words slip out before he can think about it and he bites his tongue.
Is this what he wants?
“Yes! Look at what we can do!”
Pitch circles him and when he shows him the monstrous ice sculpture they made, he lays a hand on Jacks shoulder.
He can’t possibly miss the flinch with which Jack reacts to the oh so simple gesture, but he ignores it.
“What goes together better than cold and dark?” he asks, a hand still resting heavy and warm on Jack’s shoulder.
Who are you, Jack Frost?
He shrugs the older spirit off and pretends that his body isn’t screaming for the touch to return.
He pretends that he isn’t tempted.
He fails thoroughly.
The sculpture is impressive.
He touches it and the pillar reacts.
The ice glows almost blue, much darker than he’s ever seen it.
Tainted by shadows.
He likes it.
And quickly pulls back his hand.
He looks at Pitch who stares back expectantly. Like he knows the answer already.
But Jack can’t do this right now.
He’s too overwhelmed.
His head is spinning with possibilities and as if reacting, the storm around them picks up again.
He hadn’t even noticed it dying down. “I… I don’t know!”, he whispers and turns away from Pitch.
He can’t bear to look at him, too scared that he’ll give in after just one more push.
But Pitch merely joins him again and the hand is back on his shoulder.
He shudders at the warmth.
“It is fine. After all, you are making a very hard decision”, Pitch purrs and for a moment, Jack relaxes.
Then he gets rapidly spun around and pressed against the pillar, heart beating loudly in his ears.
He’s frightened.
And Pitch surely loves it.
This was a very bad idea.
He should’ve run from North’s workshop when he had the chance.
“Think about it. Join me and see just how well our powers work together,” Pitch’s eyes gleam golden when he says it and his mouth is curved into a pleased smile before the expression abruptly changes.
“Or stay with the pathetic little guardians that turned their backs on you at the first chance they got. It is your decision to make.”
Jack is completely overwhelmed.
He has so much contact with Pitch’s body and it’s so warm and he likes it so much and shit, this shouldn’t feel so good.
What is wrong with him?
He can merely nod. Pitch lets him go.
And Jack wants him back immediately.
“I will. I just… I need time,” Jack pleads and something like sympathy flares up in Pitches eyes before he can crush it.
“Good. Take it. Look at you guardians. Scramble for believers. And if you fail – you can come to me. I’ll accept you.”
Jack shudders at the words.
Acceptance has never been offered to him like this.
He nods once more.
Pitch comes close again, but Jack doesn’t back off.
His mind is too full, too loud.
He only reacts when Pitch summons a shadow, a small scrawny tendril that wraps around his wrist and leaves a burning sensation.
“What… what is that?” he asks, his voice no more than a whisper, feeling dizzy suddenly.
“Shh, this is just a way for you to contact me,” Pitch murmurs completely calm, as if nothing has happened between them, as if they didn’t fight just mere minutes ago.
“Just stroke the mark, and I’ll find you. And now goodbye, Jack Frost. What a wonderful little conversation this was.”
Pitch is gone before Jack can react.
He takes his shadows with him.
Except for the one around his wrist.
It’s small, like a bracelet, but the shadow writhes and moves like a snake caught in an eagle’s grip.
He doesn’t like it.
He looks around then and his gaze stops at the pillar.
It really is impressive, made all the more enticing by the black sand intertwined with it.
Suddenly he remembers the teeth shoved into his hoodie and takes them back out, contemplating.
Everything you wanted to know in this little box.
Why did you end up like this? Unseen. Unable to reach out to anyone.
You want the answers so badly.
You want to grab them and fly off with them.
He laughs out loud.
Funny how it turned out.
He indeed flew off with them, but that doesn’t make him happier.
He’s so torn.
And somehow Pitch always knew it the best.
Understood it the best.
You’re afraid of what the guardians will think.
You’re afraid of disappointing them.
Oh how right Pitch has been.
Yes, indeed.
It was his biggest fear, and it came true.
He looks at the teeth in his hand.
All their fault.
Everything spiraled out of control because of them.
Well, let me ease you mind about one thing. They’ll never accept you. Not really.
And it’s true.
They’d shown their true faces when they thought he was at fault for their failure.
After all, you’re not one of them.
You’re Jack Frost.
You make a mess, wherever you go. Why, you’re doing it right now.
Jack screams and throws the teeth as hard and far as he can manage.
They sink into the cold Antarctic Sea with a small splash.
And they’re gone.
Jack sinks to his feet and weeps.