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Willa liked to say that she rarely showed emotions, especially immature ones. Hell, she to ok deep pride in it. She was an Alpha! Alphas we’re tough, strong, the leaders people looked too to trust.
But if that was the case, then why exactly could people say that she was currently brooding outside the wolf day.
First of all, she was NOT brooding. Despite what her annoying brother said. She was … simply taking the time to reorganize her thoughts to effectively come up with a better plan to deal with the Aliens going forth! Their you go. That sounded so much better then ‘brooding’.
And to be even clearer, she Also was totally not : Sad, upset, or mourning the possibly loss and forever disappearance of someone she considered a friend.
Because that would all just be circumstantial. And again, she was Alpha. So she was definitely not any of those previously listed emotions.
Although, basked in the eternal midnight glow, with no other wolf nearby, she could, in some ways, admit she was conflicted.
Conflicted was good, because she could deal with conflicted. Because that meant she simply had to figure out a problem. Alphas did that all the time.
Her current… problem related directly to those annoying Aliens. They had lied to their faces. Sneaked their way into their friends hearts, co-orced them to betray them! Even probed inside their damn minds!
Willa still remembered the frenzied panic attack she had after figuring this all out. Eliza being the amazing girlfriend she was and stopping her from doing some pretty recluse stuff like stabbing her own eye to get their ‘probe’ out of her mind.
And now that she thought about it further, it was extremely odd she was able to remember that whole ordeal. According to what the data had, their ‘Luma Lense’ was suppose to see what was in their mind, while also erasing the memory of ever being probed in the first place.
However, Willa had known the whole time. She had just assumed the others did too. She still didn’t know what they had done. Just that it seemed like some weird alien camera.
But for her to remember while everyone else forgot, it almost seemed like a fluke. Ironic even.
But considering how sophisticated the Aliens bragged their technology was, it seemed unlikely it would fail so disastrously.
It was something that stuck with her. Eventually being shoved away in place of the new ‘problem’ she was dealing with. But in the silence of the foggy night, it so irritatingly carved its way forward.
But it was a waste of time! Willa was even mad at herself for entertaining this curious thought, as it in no way contributed to her actual problem. If she had done this while her pack was in danger? Ugh, she was a foolish wolf. A foolish selfish wolf who wasn’t thinking clearly.
Willa could vaguely feel her hands start to tremble, an unconscious tremor that happened anytime she got anxious. And it was extremely unwelcome at this time. So she just grit her teeth, and grasped the fabric of her pants tightly. Willing them to still.
When that didn’t work, she made a quick desperate move and thought of her girlfriend.
Eliza. Eliza who was warm and sweet and probably one of the only good thing Willa had going for her. Everything else in her life was for someone else, for the elders, for her brother, for the pack itself. Eliza was the one thing Willa had for herself. And just the mere mention of her spread a soothing hush throughout her chest.
The werewolf looked down, pleased to find her hands back to normal. Unfortunately, the moment of peaceful relief was quickly dampened, as thoughts of her ‘problem’ quickly returned.
Currently, Addison, who was one of her loyal friends. Was apparently an alien. And while this fact didn’t particularly bother her, it was revealed during her angering betrayal, that due to this singular fact. Addison was also the aliens Map. Because somehow, in ways Willa could literally not comprehend, her secret Alien scout grandmother had implanted the Map coordinates in her DNA.
And what all this insanely confusing information meant, was that instead of the Annoying aliens leaving them be, it meant Addison had to join them. If they were to ever find their ‘precious utopia’.
Willa didn’t like this one bit.
Addison was a honorary member of her pack. Same with Eliza. And a pack mate never strayed from the group.
But Addison was. And worse, she was choosing too.
It was a blindside no one could have predicted, and it was all because of those damn aliens.
That’s why Willa needed to figure this out. She needed to figure out how Addison could stay. How to get rid of those dumb aliens with their perfect looking leader before they tried to steal ANOTHER thing from her.
Oh yeah, yeah no of course she still remembered the fact they tried to disarm and steal her moonstone. How could she ever forget?
The mere idea of them whisking it away, zapping it up to their ‘Mommy Ship’ and flying away to where she couldn’t follow was something so terrifying, she drew blood from how hard she was biting her lip.
Willa whipped the blood away with a sniffle. Freezing and worriedly looking around for anyone who could have heard.
Alphas we’re strong. They weren’t allowed to show weakness. They especially weren’t allowed to cry. It was something she only did in the presence of Wyatt or Eliza. And 99% of the time it was unwilling and unintentional.
By the grace of the moon. No one was near, which allowed her to relax just the slightest bit. Although she didn’t feel any better.
It was times like these, where the world was stacked against her, and she had no plans of action, did she feel truly alone. A eccedentesiast at heart, although she wore no smile.
Knowing that no one was near, Willa brought her knees up to her chest. Feeling dwarfed by the moon as she started to lightly teeth on her thumb in a attempt to self soothe.
It was something she rarely did knowingly, as it was just a stupid pup habit she should have kicked years ago. However she could not control what she did in her sleep, and as bitterly as she hated it, her unconscious body seemingly did not want to let go.
But here, all alone, with impossible challenges surrounding her, Willa would allow it just for a moment. Just until she regained her sense of normalcy and maturity. Until then she was just a stupid little pup who could barely keep it together.
Willa welcomed the shame. Relished in it actually. She deserved it if she was willingly letting herself look so weak. Even if no one was their to see it. It was a good humiliating self punishment. A reminder for the future so she wouldn’t break the next time. A poetic justice of profailantism.
*crack!*
In an instant, Willa was in the air, body spasming tightly as she landed with practiced ease. Her ears straining to hear even more, eyes frantically darting around for whatever pack mate could have caught her acting so pathetically.
A quick look determined it was not a fellow wolf, the sounds of more branches breaking confirming it. Her wolfs would never make so much noise, even while casual. She had trained them better then that.
Unfortunately that meant their was an intruder approaching. And Willa needed to act quick, unless she risk someone bad getting to the wolf den.
Moving with the stealth of her ancestors, she identified what direction the sound was coming from, carefully lurking towards it, and hiding behind a thick tree. Rendering them invisible.
It wasn’t too hard to locate the dark form of someone walking, and just when the mass crossed her line of path, Willa pounced.
Grabbing the figure by the shoulder and using the momentum to slam them against a tree, Willa felt her moonstone course through her. Teeth bared and eyes glowing, she grasped the body tightly and yanked them in close.
“You have exactly FIVE seconds to beg for your life!” Willa growled, person becoming more clear once she got a good look at them.
Oh damn it.
“Uh, Hello!” Aspen grinned awkwardly, “Is this how you wolves typically welcome your visitors? I must say it is quite the violent ceremonial hosting.”
Willa let go of them with a snarl, stepping back and watching as they regained their balance. Brushing their odd attire off.
“What are you doing here?” She demanded. Refusing to apologize for the rough meeting, even if Willa felt the slightest bit guilty.
Aspen blinked twice, eyes curious, “Why I traveled here to see you of course.”
Willa was not expecting that answer. Feeling herself blush once she realized Aspen was staring at her intently, waiting for her to respond.
“W-Well excuse my hostile attitude,” she attempted to reply scathingly, “But I wasn’t expecting a unwelcome intruder.”
“You are excused!” They replied infuriatingly cheerful, as if they couldn’t understand how hateful Willa was trying to seem, “It really is my origin fault, I should of thought ahead to alert you of my pressing existence. I probably would have done that already however we are of course prepping Mothership for our take off tomorrow and-“
“-Oh just shut up!”
Aspen froze immediately, gazing hyper focusing on Willa. Which was the exact opposite of what she wanted to happen.
She felt flustered, stumbling over her words, “W-What I meant to say, was that I already asked you a question! What are you doing here? You said to see me, but why?”
“You are the hierarchical Wolf leader, correct?”
“I am their Alpha.” Willa affirmed, slightly output by their question.
Aspen smiled, “Good! I had previously observed that the other primitive wolves looked to you for guidance, but their was never a formal statement of any kind.”
Willa growled again, baring her teeth, “You need to get on with your point Blueberry, because so far, your not welcome here, and my patience is waning.”
The Aliens face turned neutral, eyebrows expressive while their eyes searched Willas very soul. It was unnerving to say the least. Eliza you could always what she was thinking from her body and facial language. But Aspen? It seemed purely through the eyes. And she didn’t like the feeling of being examined.
“Your very agitated,” they eventually stated, as if it wasn’t obvious, “Is there any reason why? I heard Ali resonate with Meditation earlier. It would help your emotions, as well as punching trees.”
She arched an eyebrow, “Punching trees?”
“Your hand is all nicked up. Especially around the the fingers and thumb. I assumed with your violent behavior you were punching trees or some sort of aggressive technique.”
Willa realized with a jolt what they meant, a surge of embarrassment and anger coursing through her veins.
“You don’t know what your talking about!” She spat out, “And of course im agitated! Your here!”
Aspen frowned for the first time.
And Immediately Willa hated it on their face.
Their face didn’t deserve a frown, and she internally berated themselves for causing it.
Before putting up her walls again.
Moon, she had to get ahold of herself.
“I apologize if my presence has caused you distress, I am a peaceful people. I mean you no harm.” Aspen seemed genuine with this statement. Which only increased the slight guilty feeling in her chest.
She crossed her arms defensively, “Well you still haven’t told me why you came here.”
“Oh. My deepest apologies. It seem to be getting off track. You have a fascinating way of drawing all the attention to yourself, did you know? I could simply sit here and stare at you for hours!”
Willa didn’t know how to respond, face and neck absolutely burning from the praise and inadvertent compliment.
Aspen shook their had, snapping back to reality, “Oh! Apologies, their I go again. Oh yes, my intentions. I wanted to formally come here and apologize to you, Willa of the wolves.”
Willa was stunned, failing to find a snappy reply.
“Uh- I- Why exactly?”
It was jumbled, but it did the trick. The alien looking deep in thought once again.
“‘I realized we aliens never apologize for tampering with the moonstone,” they spoke solemnly, “Their was a feeling I could not define, until Addison suggested it might be guilt. We tampered with your most precious thing. And considering it was just to locate out most precious thing, it’s a very cruel irony. Or so I’m informed.”
Willa growled, “That moonstone isn’t just ‘our most precious thing’ it’s our damn life force! You had no idea to mess with it, and no right to go near it! Or invade our minds like you did to locate it!”
“Your right Willa. We Aliens don’t really know what it is to hurt feelings, since we never really had them ourselves. But going near the moonstone against your clear warnings was a line crossed. And from leader to leader, it was a fault of error on my part for not recognizing this. Or respecting it at all,” their voice sounded quiet, Somber even.
“I should have every right to tear you apart where you stand!”
Aspens frowned deepened, although to her surprise, they took a deep breath and stepped forward.
“I don’t support violence, and I couldn’t protect myself much in a fight,” they professed softly, “But if hurting me will hell you gain closure and feel better about my betrayal and disrespect to your turf, then I accept your terms.”
The werewolf faltered, brows pinching in confusion, “That’s it? … your not gonna try and defend yourself or anything?”
“No dear Willa, you need this. Besides. If you happen to blind me accidentally, as least my last view would be a very beautiful one.” Aspen whispered.
Willa blushed madly, knees clicking as she repeatedly stepping back and forth. Caught between exacting revenge and the slowly overwhelming guilt building in her chest.
“I’m not gonna hurt you.” She stated reluctantly.”
Aspens eyes widened in surprise.
“It’s just cause I wouldn’t hit an unarmed target. So don’t go thinking of anything else.”
Still, the alien bursted into another one of their cheery smiles. The ones the usually Willa hated so much, but now, she thought of them as a welcomed relief from their previous frown.
Ugh. She was getting to weird. How long was Aspen going to be staying exactly?
“I’m sorry.”
The werewolf’s eyes darted back up to Aspens, apprehension clear, “Yeah um. For the Moonstone right. I heard you before.”
They shook their head, “No, not that… well. Yes for that of course, but I’m sorry about the other thing.”
“Other thing?”
Aspen glanced up, “Addison.”
Oh… that.
She had nearly forgotten about that, her problem she has been agonizing over mere minutes ago. Here stupid perfect aspen was distracting her. How masterfully. She wasn’t sure if she should hate it or respect it. It was odd for her to get distracted at all
“Oh yes. My honorary packmate your stealing. What a great reminder.” Willa spit out spitefully.
She may not be clawing them to death, but she wasn’t exactly gonna hold back with her attitude as well.
“We’re not forcing her,” Aspen emphasized sternly, frown reappearing, “I know you would have every logical impulse to assume otherwise. But as the Leader, I make the final decisions. And I know. We wouldn’t force her. We wouldn’t steal Addison. She’s coming willingly Willa.”
Willa growled, flashing her teeth at the proclamation. Somehow Aspen saying that just made this all worse.
Sure she knew that Addison wanted to go, but believing even for a second that she wasn’t willingly betraying Willa let her breath for a moment. Stupid Aspen couldn’t even let her have that.
She didn’t even know she had spaced out until she felt a hand on hers. Jerking up, the alpha was quick to freeze. Glancing warily at Aspens surprisingly compassionate face.
They squeezed her hand gently, “Now I may not be great at sympathizing yet. But I know I lost my home planet once. And I’ve heard that friends can feel like home to some. So I offer my deepest condolences. I’m sorry Willa. I’m sorry your losing your home.”
Willa scrunched her eyes shut. Liking the feeling of their hand in hers, but not wanting to see it for herself. Doing so shoved a cold feeling straight for her chest. And she wasn’t sure what to call it.
“Your shaking.”
Willa forced her eyes, glancing down hesitantly only to see the Alien was right. Currently in their soft creamy hand, Willa’s fingers were trembling violently.
She squealed, yanking her hands away from thejr grasp and clutching them protectively to her chest.
“S-shut up!” Willa’s voice wavered, paranoia of the unknown obviously seeping in, “You- you don’t know anything. Look you crashed here and got your precious map, and now your taking Addison. So what the hell are you doing here!”
Aspen looked saddened, gazing at her forlornly. All while she struggled to get a grasp on her breathing. And get this damned tremor to stop.
They shuffled their feet awkwardly, “I came here for you Willa.”
“I already know that!” She snapped.
“No… you don’t, “ the Alien looked guilty for the first time, “I apologize for causing you such distress. You see, I also came here for selfish reasons. Although not the reasons you probably suspect of me.”
Calming down jsut the slightest bit, Willa nodded suspiciously, “Okayyy?”
Aspen chucked weakly, “Your a magnet Willa. You must be. For the same feeling I could previously not define for Zed has returned. Except stronger. For you. Your so passionate and I feel drawn to you as if we were two opposite polarities. So yes. While I did come here to apologize for our betrayal. Part of me came here to see you one last time. I’m sorry if I let these odd emotions get in the way of your well-being. I… shall go now. I wish you harmony Willa.”
They looked down, body defeated as they turned around to go.
“Wait,” Aspen froze, turning back worn a gaze Willa did not meet, looking off to the side and grasping her arm nervously, “Emotions are weird. Their weird and Messy. And I can’t exactly blame you for following through on something for the first time. It’s a sign of a good leader actually… not that you’d see any in me.”
“What? Why would you say that? Your an amazing wolf leader.” The alien replied in astonishment.
Willa sighed, “To be honest? I’ve been so scrambled Asp, I’m getting through high school while looking out for my pack, and worrying about the fact if they can even pursue their studies further. And it seems like everything’s gonna be ok, but then you guys crash out of no where and everything is going horribly wrong. And now Addisons leaving and the packs looking to me for answers when I have none!”
“But aren’t emotions full of surprises?” Aspen countered softly, “That’s how you earthlings live. You ebb and flow through different problems and come out stronger. It’s something us Aliens will never have to do. For we do not want surprises. We are safe with the continuous.”
“But what’s the good in that? If everything is the same, how do you grow? How do you know what you like? How do you live?”
Aspen remained silent after this. And Willa concurred that the question poked to many holes too close to the heart.
“Thank you for saying that though,” she whispered, “Cause truthfully their isn’t really anything I can do about Addison leaving. And I think that’s what drives me crazy.”
“I’m sorry your loosing your home Willa.”
And their it was again. That very same line spoken mere minutes earlier.
Home. What was home to Willa.
Her wolf den was home. Her friends were home. Eliza was home.
She glanced at the alien in front of her.
What did they call home?
It struck her that not only was Addison going to be leaving, but Aspen too.
That didn’t sit right with her.
This Alien, who (wait did they just say they had a crush on her? Uhhh thought for tomorrow) was probably just as nervous as her. Who found joy in everything. Who came all this way to apologize.
Feelings.
Feelings damn it.
Try as she might those wicked feelings had made a famed return.
Their pricking at the back of her neck and infecting her blood stream.
It isn’t until they crawl up her neck and thrush through her ears does she finally allow herself to think about them.
here she is, standing with Aspen, thinking they look absolutely adorable with their stupid perfect face and stupid perfect hair.
Damn it…. Eliza may have been right. This may be a crush.
Ugh! She HATED it when she was right.
Cheeks heating up, Willa shuffled in place a bit after realizing she hadn’t replied for a long time.
-“Do you want to sit with me?” The words escaped her mouth before she could stop them. Immediately slapping a hand over it in panic. Glancing at the alien in mortal fear.
Their had been no agreement, no settlement of terms, but yet Aspen seemed to recognize the question for what it truly was : a invitation.
“Nothing more in this 3,958.8 mile planet at this very millisecond would make me happier,” they smiled warmly, quickly trotting over, giving her a shock by instantly intwining their hands, “I believe this is where I ask if you are OK?”
“I’m not. But I don’t want to talk about it,” she gripped their hand back, liking the feel of of it, “But let’s look at the stars instead?”
Aspen nodded softly, “Your avoiding things… but that’s ok.. Im learning emotions are complicated. And confusing. However, Stargazing isn’t.”
“Then I say we do the one instead of the other.”
They paused, “Do you mean the stars?”
Willa felt a touch of a smile ghost her face, “Yes Aspen. I mean the stars. Stars are better then emotions right now.”
“Ok.”
The two sat their for who knows how long. Time passing by with a rush of stillness. Trapping the feeling of the night and dewdrops. Carefully dropping down necks and working their way into hearts. It was a beautiful solar flare in an unknown system. It could have been days, or minutes. No one knew.
And no one made an effort to stop it.
Willa gazed at her entwined hand. Smile widening.
For even if she felt dwarfed by the night. At least she wasn’t alone.