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“To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health—”
“We’re just going to repeat after the pastor later, you know.”
“Oh my god!” Chan jumped from his seat and turned around, racking his brain for excuses. A sigh of relief escaped his chest when he found the man that he’d be spending the rest of his life with standing by the doorway, a small smile splayed on his lips.
“I can’t believe you’re practicing the vows in the bathroom, Chan.”
Chan rolled his eyes. “Well, I don’t want your family to see me chanting the words like an idiot. It's embarrassing enough as it is.”
Hansol’s smile only got bigger as he walked toward Chan. “Idiot? Sometimes. Embarrassing? Never.”
When Hansol finally got to him, Chan gave him a light smack on the chest. A loud laugh rumbled in his chest, and Hansol’s eyes crinkled as he laughed along. “That’s mean, Hansol! You’re supposed to say, ‘No, Chan. You’re not an idiot.’”
“Right,” Hansol said with a nod, still chuckling. “You’re not an idiot. Because you’re my idiot.”
“Oh, god.” Chan buried his face in Hansol’s chest, Hansol’s arms wrapping around him in an instant. He felt warm; he felt at home. “I can’t believe I’m marrying you.”
“What’s that? You’re excited to marry me? Yeah, me too.”
Another smack on the chest and Chan looked up at Hansol with a pout. “You’re a menace.”
Hansol hummed, only looking at him. The smile never left his lips.
More often than not, it was the times like this that got Chan’s breath stuck in his throat. He couldn’t believe that someone would look at him like he hung the stars and moon in the night sky. Like he did everything good in this world. Like he was their world.
Hansol always looked at him like this. He never tried to hide that, even back when they weren’t dating yet. Back when they were just friends, waiting for some kind of divine intervention.
“Seriously,” Hansol said. “You don’t need to be embarrassed.”
“Your whole family—it’s not even a family, it’s a fucking clan—is out there, Hansol. I just don’t want to stutter in front of them. I don’t want them to think that…”
“That what?” Hansol’s voice was soft and gentle. It reminded Chan of their nights in the rain. Of their nights in the dark, their solace within each other’s arms.
Chan’s voice cracked a little when he spoke. “That I’m not good enough.”
“Hey.” Hansol cupped his face. “You’re good enough. And fuck anyone who says otherwise. Besides, my family adores you.”
It was true. Hansol’s family was nothing but kind to Chan. He felt bad; he really did. Though he still couldn’t remove the thoughts that plagued him. He took a deep breath, looking everywhere but Hansol’s soft gaze.
Hansol pressed a light kiss on his forehead. “You know, when I came home the night we first met, my mom asked: When is the wedding?”
Chan looked at Hansol, expecting the playful smile toying on his lips, but there was none. Hansol looked as serious as the day he went down on one knee, presenting Chan with the most ridiculous ring pop as a proposal ring.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Chan asked, “Really? Your mother asked that?”
“Yep. Apparently, I looked too in love. I didn’t even know such a thing existed, to be honest.” A faint crimson spread on Hansol’s cheeks and up to his ears. Chan’s stomach swirled on its own.
“Too in love, huh?” Chan huffed a laugh. “I didn’t know you liked me that much.”
Hansol frowned. “Really? Damn, and here I thought it was very much obvious when I asked you to eat lunch with me every day.”
Chan shrugged sheepishly. “To be fair, I thought you were just being friendly.”
“Eh. I don’t know about you but me paying for our meals every day isn’t exactly friendly.”
“I can’t believe your way of flirting with someone was through paying for their meals.” A wide smile finally broke on Hansol’s face as his laughter echoed in the bathroom. Chan could only shake his head in feigned disbelief. “You’re really something else, Hansol.”
“Hey. It did its job!” Hansol said, pulling away just enough to have his arms rest loosely around Chan’s waist. “If it weren’t for me always paying, you wouldn’t ask why I always did it, and I wouldn’t have the chance to confess.”
“You’re an idiot,” Chan said with a giggle.
“No. I’m your idiot.”
“God. You're insufferable.”
“Maybe just a little.”
Chan barked a laugh. He no longer felt anxious, his fingers feeling light already. Hansol always had this effect on him. It was as if he could pluck out every thorn in Chan’s heart and straighten the worry off his forehead.
“You don’t really need to worry about anything,” said Hansol. “This is our day.”
“Right. This is our day,” Chan said, his own voice soft and almost inaudible.
A smile pulled the corners of Hansol’s lips as he looked around the bathroom. Chan could already feel his cheeks flush bright red. “So, why practice in the bathroom of my bedroom?”
“Shut up,” Chan mumbled. “The mirrors are huge. I like it.”
Raising an eyebrow, Hansol’s smile became wider. His eyes held nothing but that mischievous glint that Chan was all too familiar with. “Oh. So you like huge mirrors?”
Chan couldn’t help the chuckle that came out of his chest. “If you’re going to make a joke about mirror sex, I swear to god, Hansol…”
“I mean, why not, right?” Hansol shrugged, feigning innocence. “Honestly, I’m up for anything. Just say the word, Chan, and we can do it. We will do it.”
Smacking his soon-to-be husband lightly on the chest once more, Chan exclaimed, “Hansol!”
“What?” Hansol grinned.
Chan bit his lip, fighting off the smile on his lips. The bathroom was the perfect place to block off any noise. Chan couldn’t hear the people downstairs, frantically organizing the Chwe’s grand ballroom to be the most beautiful wedding venue. He couldn’t hear the murmurs of the people, already predicting what their lives would be by just one look. He couldn’t feel their acquisitive gazes, ripping him bit by bit.
The Chwe’s were lovely, and Chan couldn’t wait to be a part of their family. Though the Chwe’s were like any other people. They were curious and excited, and Chan never liked being in the center of attention. At least, not in this way.
“A penny for your thoughts?” Hansol asked.
“Just thinking about finally being a part of your family,” Chan said. He took a deep breath before continuing. “It makes me nervous, but I’m very much excited.”
“Chan Lee-Chwe.” It sounded so unreal, rolling off Hansol’s tongue. Chan couldn’t believe it. “Eight years since my first pick-up line to you, and it’s finally happening.”
“God, I remember that one.” Chan chuckled, reminiscing about the memory. It was during their peaceful lunch, and Hansol being Hansol, suddenly said that he wanted to change Chan’s last name. At that time, Chan couldn’t quite get what Hansol was trying to say. He didn’t understand why his friend would want to change his surname, so he only gave him a weird look before finishing off his fried rice.
Hansol nodded as if he was reminiscing about it too. “Yeah. I can’t believe you couldn’t get it like it’s one of the most common pickup lines out there.”
“It’s just pretty bad, Hansol.”
“No, it isn’t. You just don’t appreciate the beauty and effectiveness of pick-up lines.”
“It’s a bad pick-up line. And it wasn’t effective because if I remember correctly, it would take another seven months before we started dating.”
“Ouch,” Hansol said, feigning hurt as he put a hand on his chest. “I can’t believe you’re just dismissing my pick-up line skills like that.”
“You just went on Google and wrote down the first pick-up line you saw.”
“Double ouch, Chan. You’re breaking my heart.”
Chan’s laughter echoed in the bathroom. “I love you.”
Hansol froze, slightly taken aback by the sudden affirmation. The mischievous glint in his eyes vanished, replaced by a warm, longing look. “I love you too.”
“You know, we should go downstairs,” Chan said giddily. “I can’t be a Chwe if we don’t get on with the wedding.”
“You’re the one who holed up in here. We’ve been waiting for you,” Hansol said, giving him a cheeky grin.
Rolling his eyes once again, Chan said, “Whatever.”
Chan was about to pull away and get ready to leave when Hansol stopped him. “Wait. You sure you got the vows right?”
“Hansol!”
“What? I’m just making sure! You never finished earlier. C’mon, let’s continue it together.”
Hansol pulled Chan in his arms until there was no space left between them. Sometimes, Chan could easily forget that Hansol was way taller than him. When he leaned into him, his cheek would perfectly rest on Hansol’s shoulder, and when Hansol just tilted his head right, his lips would be on Chan’s temple.
The feathery touch of Hansol’s lips brushed against Chan’s skin like a soft stroke of a paintbrush on an almost finished canvas. A final stroke but certainly not the last. The end of a beginning.
Hansol pulled away slightly, frowning. “Hold on. Where did I cut you off again?”
Chan could only shake his head. “In sickness and in health.”
“Right, right.” Hansol cleared his throat.
“To love and to cherish.”
Chan buried his face into Hansol’s shoulder, pressing a light kiss and pulling the man closer. He held onto Hansol’s suit tightly, reminding himself that this was real. This was his home.
He looked up into Hansol’s eyes and found that his soon-to-be husband was already looking at him fondly. Chan felt nothing but warmth and bliss in his heart.
“Until death do us part.”