Chapter Text
It's never sunny when Kanade goes to visit her father. As if fate wants the atmosphere to match her mood, the sun always hides when she makes the trek to the hospital. Like clockwork, Kanade does the same song and dance every time: greet the lady at the front desk, sit next to her father for a few hours, listen to him speak about his unborn child (as if she isn't his child and sitting next to him), and get drenched in the rain on the way home because, like always, Kanade never remembers to bring an umbrella with her.
She doesn't blame her dad for being in this state, not in the slightest. His missing memories are missing because of her. She caused this. Her music caused this. She has to keep composing before she hurts anyone else.
Today, fate seems to have decided to give her a cloudy sky without a hint of rain. Wiping away a stray tear as she exits, Kanade looks up to admire the gray clouds floating by like a moving picture. Nightcord at 25 won't be meeting online until late at night; everyone's usually busy during the day, and today is no exception. Kanade's alone for the next few hours of sunlight.
"Do I go home…?" Kanade mumbles, walking aimlessly around the area. Realistically, going home is the nicest option. She's stocked up on instant ramen and Honami made her food the last time she was over so the leftovers are still in her fridge. Her computer is home, along with her keyboard and the rest of her instruments for composing. She could keep working and maybe make a new demo for the group to look over tonight.
Continuing her walk with no real destination in mind, Kanade bites her lip as she ponders the idea of work. She's been on a roll lately, creating like there's no tomorrow. No one objects, especially not Mafuyu, but Kanade wonders if Mizuki or Ena are able to keep up with her pace. Ena would certainly speak up if she was against it, which helps ease her worries. Still, the last time she overworked herself, Kanade almost ended up in the hospital. Maybe a break would be best.
Easier said than done. She huffs and clutches her bag filled with pencils and books stuffed with melodies and lyrics. Even at the hospital she couldn't stop composing. Her dad even looked at them and praised her, despite her work being the reason he's there.
"I can still work while outside. The breeze is nice." She compromises with herself. She'll work extra hard on this one, and maybe if she's lucky, this will be the one to save Mafuyu. A pipe dream, but maybe she'll at least smile like she did with the last major song Kanade made. Walking with purpose now, Kanade's new goal is a spot to sit and relax. Nonogi Park is close by…
Yeah, the park sounds like the perfect spot. The flower beds filled with carnations are there, right where she and Mizuki found them. If Kanade closes her eyes right now and thinks hard enough she can hear the strumming of her dad's guitar. Her best song was made when she visited those beds after years, seeing them again might prompt her to create an even better one.
Following the path Mizuki once showed her to the back of the park, Kanade can smell the carnations before she can see them. Pure white surrounded by green, the flowers seemingly glow despite the lack of sun in the sky. Kanade can't help but compare them to the halos of tiny angels lying on the ground. Should N25's next song have religious undertones? She should ask the group later.
Like the last time she visited the flower beds, Kanade is filled with a sense of safety and warmth. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Kanade lets the feeling engulf her. A cool breeze washes her worries away for a brief moment. This is the closest to home she'll get for now. Opening her eyes, it doesn't take long for Kanade to realize she isn't alone in the park.
She must've tuned out the obnoxious laughter after months of tuning out Mizuki and Ena's bickering because the orange headed boy rolling around in the flower beds isn't hard to miss now that she looks closer. A comically large twig found its home inside his unruly hair that's barely held together in a ponytail. At least he's enjoying himself? Kanade isn't sure what to think of it. None of the flowers look damaged, and that's all that matters to her.
Doing her best to walk around him, she takes a seat at the nearby bench. He's yet to notice her, still rolling around with a smile on his face. Pieces of paper filled with music notes lie around and underneath him, crumpled and threatening to fly away with the wind. Is he a composer too? If he is, he should at least pay attention to his surroundings. Well, it isn't her problem.
Taking out her notebook and a pen, Kanade rests both on her lap as she ponders what her next song should be about. Religious undertones are still on the table, but she might wait until she has the group's opinion before diving into it. What else does she want? She wants to save Mafuyu, but that alone can't carry an entire song. What does she want her to do? She wants Mafuyu to smile, but she already did after hearing Melody-lit Sky and writing a similar one right after that feels redundant.
What does Kanade want to feel? Relief, maybe? Pride? Happiness? The answer doesn't come to her. She really does want to help Mafuyu, not just to make herself feel better about her music but because her music is the only thing that's been able to make Mafuyu feel . She wants to keep that trend going until her girlfriend can finally feel on her own. Emotions are vague and love is difficult for her to comprehend but she can still feel them with enough gentle nudges. She doesn't want Mafuyu to only know how to feel pain like she did when she saw a marionette. She wants Mafuyu to look at carnations and feel joy and warmth.
Kanade wants others to be happy. She wants her music to reach those at their lowest and tell them "Everything will be ok eventually." How can she express that in her songs?
Sighing, she lets her pen fall onto her lap. Words and music fail to fill her mind, all her thoughts interrupted by the dirty boy still on the ground in front of her. She'd be impressed any other day at how little he cares about the dirt on his white hoodie. Getting up, she walks over to where the boy is taking a break and lying face first in the flowers.
"Excuse me, you're a little loud." she says, surprised when he immediately stops giggling and looks up at her. Bright green eyes look at her and she realizes with a small gasp she knows this person.
Leo Tsukinaga, an incredibly well-known composer and former leader of idol group Knights, is rolling around in a bunch of flower beds. It's strangely not the weirdest thing she's seen. "... Also there's a twig in your hair." she adds.
A hand runs through his hair searching for the twig and he lets out a triumphant "Aha!" when he finds it and drops it on the ground. "Thank you! Sorry about disturbing you, I just get lost in thought when I'm composing."
"It's ok." Kanade says. A few seconds pass in silence as she wonders if she should say anything about him being a composer. It's not everyday you'd run into one; does she ask for advice?
Leo speaks up for her. "Hey, what's your name?"
She blinks, slightly taken aback. "Uh, I'm Kanade Yoisaki. You're Leo Tsukinaga, right?"
"Leo?" he asks, scratching his head. "Leeooo… oh! That's my name!" He starts laughing like it's the funniest joke he's ever heard. "It slips my mind sometimes when I'm overtaken by inspiration. Can't remember unimportant things like that when a masterpiece could be made!"
Kanade would argue that a name, especially your own, is an important thing to remember, but she figures that's a debate she could get into another day. Besides, all the interviews she's read on Leo shows that he's… eccentric, to put it lightly. Perhaps this is his charm, an honest and sometimes urgent need to compose. She can relate to some of that.
Leo excitedly pats the floor next to him, looking more and more like a golden retriever with every movement. "C'mon, sit next to me, Kana! There's nothing better than being surrounded by nature and waiting for creativity to take hold of you."
"Is that so?" she asks, carefully sitting down. The grass tickles her exposed knees. "The flower beds here are lovely."
Leo smiles. "Aren't they? I'm so glad I found this place, the inspiration came just like that!" He snaps his fingers for emphasis. "And! It's the perfect place to hide from aliens!"
Kanade nods along, not even attempting to make Leo's words make sense. In a way, it's like she's in the diner with her friends and going along with whatever conversation Mizuki and Ena are having. The only difference is that Mafuyu's hand isn't here to hold. A strong gust of wind blows by, and Kanade ignores the vertigo she gets standing up as she remembers she never put her pen back in her bag and it's the only one she has on her.
Making sure nothing else flies away, Kanade puts her bag over her shoulder and holds her notebook close to her chest. She turns around to see Leo frantically scrambling to grab the music sheets he left lying around the ground. Understanding its importance, she starts grabbing the papers near her and the ones beginning to fly away. By the time the wind slows down and Kanade's done more exercise than she's done in two weeks, the papers are safely in Leo's hands and then stuffed into a bag he apparently threw a few feet away.
"Thanks for that, Kana! I think I'd die if any of these flew away." Pushing his bag to the side, Leo stretches his legs and sighs in relief. Kanade does the same as she mutters "No problem.", keeping her bag and book close. She had come here for the peace and quiet, but so far it's been anything but that. It doesn't bother her as much as she thought it would. Maybe it's because she's with someone she knows would understand her.
The urge to compose is something Kanade could never fully explain to Nightcord. It was different from Mafuyu's composing to find herself or Ena's constant drawing to improve. It's almost a need, a desire to create something larger than life like her father did. Music is the only thing that keeps her tethered to the ground instead of floating uselessly. A lifeline and her reason to disappear at the same time. Music keeps her grounded, but it seems to uproot everyone else and hurt them instead.
And that's why she has to compose. She has to find a way to make her music not hurt anyone ever again. She wants people to feel safe, not inferior. She wants her music to encourage people to continue something or make them feel secure. Ena and Mizuki say her music did exactly that for them, but all it's ever done for Mafuyu is give her a fleeting moment of something . It's not enough. Kanade isn't sure if it'll ever be enough.
For once, Kanade breaks the silence. She's sure if Luka or Miku were with her, they'd encourage her to speak up since she has the chance. As weird as Leo is, even he probably has good advice to give to aspiring artists. "Do… when you feel the urge to create, does it ever feel like nothing you make will be good enough? Like everything won't matter in the end because you feel like you've already seen the end result and know it's pointless?"
She worries for a second if her questions scared him off. Going straight into the deep topics with someone you've just met, even if they're an eccentric idol, doesn't make for a good first impression. However, while his bright eyes lose some of their sparkle and he frowns after hearing her, he also sits up a little straighter and his expression goes from concerned to serious. His voice comes out a little lower when he speaks; not entirely a whisper but bordering on it.
"I'm not really a writer or an artist in the drawing sense, but let me paint you a picture." He starts, and Kanade finds herself leaning closer to hear as he takes a deep breath before continuing. "You're a king, living lavishly on a nice, shiny throne with knights surrounding you and ready to defend you at a moment's notice. You're content, and excited, and everything seems fine and dandy because the world breathes inspiration and all you can do is write."
"And then tragedy strikes. War breaks out. Suddenly, your knights are fighting to keep you safe but they can't fight by themselves. They need weapons, a plan, so you have no choice but to give it to them. Your music has become a weapon. A horrible, terrible weapon used for war and pain and that's all it'll be good for. Nothing you write helps in the long run, and eventually everything you continue to try and write fails before it can even be completed. And before you can blink, the king has fallen from the throne."
"And that's it? There's nothing that can be done?" Kanade whispers, already feeling tired just hearing the anguish and hopelessness in his voice. She wanted answers, but never thought about if the answers would be what she wanted to hear. Did she even know what she wanted to hear? Leo holds a finger up, a tiny smile gracing his lips.
"However, that's where the story can diverge. It can definitely end like that. Or," his smile breaks into a full grin, "it can end with the fallen king realizing they aren't alone and will always have people in their corner to keep them from slipping again. And they might not always remember that's the case, but what's important is that eventually it'll stick. The king can get up and continue to compose, and return even stronger because of it."
Tears cloud Kanade's vision as she sniffles and wipes her face. Leo waits patiently for her before asking "Well, what'd you think? Like I said, I'm not a writer, but I think that was pretty good. Actually, don't say anything! I'll imagine the answer!"
Giggling slightly at his eccentricity, Kanade smiles, just a little bit. "I think there was a lot of truth in what you said. That was your story, wasn't it?"
"I've been caught." Leo laughs sheepishly. "It still takes me time to remember that people care for me. Even now, I feel like all I can do is write until the end of time. But it isn't true for me and it isn't true for you."
For some reason, Composing the Future comes to mind as he speaks; the song born from Nightcord's feelings. She wonders if he's felt the same way, if he's ever wanted to disappear. He did do that once now that she thinks about it— the rumors of him disappearing for almost a year before suddenly returning.
"What's up, Kana?" Leo asks, bringing her out of her thoughts. "You got this serious look on your face, it's scary!"
"... Have you ever wanted to disappear?"
"I did disappear." Leo says honestly before breaking out into a smile. "The aliens got me! Took me all over the place and kept probing me before dropping me back at Yumenosaki. I wouldn't be here talking to you if it wasn't for that."
Aliens, huh? Kanade doesn't believe in them, so she figures it has to be a metaphor for something else. (At least, she hopes so.) "I guess I should be thankful for that. Your songs have helped me when I had trouble composing."
His eyes go wide. "You're a composer too!? No way! Can I see a song? Your sheet music? I'll take anything!" He scrambles to her side as she flips through her notebook. Before she can even find a good piece among her uncompleted works, Leo grabs her book and begins flipping through the pages himself. She doesn't stop him as he makes an impressed sound with every flip.
"This is amazing! You wrote all this yourself?" He asks, his eyes managing to get even wider when she nods. "Amazing! I can feel the talent here, do you post these online?"
"I have a music group." Kanade answers. "Nightcord at 25:00." Without a second of hesitation, Leo's pulling out his phone to search it up. A sense of pride blooms in her chest. Surely her music isn't as bad as she thought if another composer is fond of it without even listening to it.
"I'm listening to everything the moment I can! But for now," Leo promises, pocketing his phone. "Tell me more about your group."
It's clear sitting down for so long is starting to get to Leo. One of his legs begins bouncing and his hands grip the grass underneath for something to hold, and despite all that, he stays as still as he can and listens to Kanade describe her musical process. She uses everyone's usernames rather than their real names, keeping that along with their individual problems a secret close to her heart. She only goes slightly more in detail with Mafuyu (who she calls Yuki instead).
"They're lucky to have you, Kana." Leo says softly, catching her off guard. "You're working hard composing to save everyone, but who's gonna save you if you collapse and can't write? You can help people, but you need others to help you too."
She thinks of how often her songs helped her group: the quick song she composed that pushed Ena to paint, Mizuki's trip inspiring their identity song, even her latest one that made Mafuyu smile. Does she need them to help her? No, it doesn't even have to be just them. Even the vocaloids in their Sekai have helped. Rin encouraged her to make a song for Ena, MEIKO unintentionally helped Mizuki ask to create lyrics as well as come out, and Miku loves Mafuyu with all her virtual soul and cares for everyone in Sekai. They all rely on her, so realistically she should be relying on them too.
Kanade sighs. "You make it sound so easy."
Leo nudges her leg with his foot, dirty sneakers touching her skin. A little gross, she won't lie. "I wish it's as easy as I make it seem. But nope! Not easy at all. But it feels nice though."
She glances at the carnations surrounding them, the wonderful place she would've never found if it weren't for Mizuki convincing her to try and look for it. "Yeah," she whispers, "it does feel nice."
There's more Kanade wants to ask— why does he call her Kana, how does he compose and do idol work at the same time, what's the deal with the aliens, will her songs ever have the same weight as his— when Leo's phone buzzes. He picks it up mid conversation with a smile on his face. "Hi, hi, who wants the attention of the naked king?... Eh?!" Whatever the person on the other end said makes Leo stand up dizzyingly fast. Kanade almost gets vertigo doing the same.
"No, no, you don't gotta— you're here?! Here in Shibuya? What, no! I'm definitely not skipping out because I was hit with inspiration. Speaking of which, hold on—" Leo drops back down, tearing open his bag and searching for paper and pens as Kanade watches in mild fascination. She can faintly hear the person on the phone sigh and most likely chastise Leo, but the composer pays no mind to it as he frantically scribbles at an alarmingly fast pace.
The paper is promptly shoved into Kanade's face, which she grabs in a daze. Leo hoists his bag strap over his shoulder, phone pressed against his ear with his shoulder. "Kana, if an alien was on his way to kidnap you, which direction would ya run to?"
She points to the way she used to enter the park. "Not many people take that trail and it's right next to the train station."
A thumbs up is barely seen before he sprints in the direction she pointed, yelling "Thank you, Kana! The music's for you, do whatever you want with it cuz it's yours now!"
In a daze, Kanade stares at where he's run off to before looking down at the paper. It's not even proper sheet music, Leo simply scribbled on the first piece of paper he found in his bag. The notes were legible, at least. He said it was hers…
"... I think I'm the one who met an alien." she smiles to herself, carefully folding the paper and sticking it into her own bag. She doesn't write lyrics often, usually letting Mafuyu do it, but the composer has left her inspired. She has a feeling N25 will enjoy this song as much as her once she's done finalizing it.
———
Leo sighs into his pillow, legs kicking the other end of the couch he's sitting on as he half heartedly watches his unit mates talk amongst each other. They don't even care that last week he had the scare of his life in Shibuya! Tsukasa had some balls to call Madara to find him after he ran off during work. All his inspiration flew out the window, and the one song he did finish was given to the girl he met. What was her name again? They met in a field of flowers and he was pretty sure it sounded similar to hana…
"Kana! It was Kanade!" Leo exclaims, smiling to himself for figuring it out. Her name was Kanade! The composer was very soft spoken, but Leo could tell she's extremely talented. If he wasn't set on writing all of Knights' songs he'd probably commission her. Actually, he could still do that! Damn, what was the name of her group? He forgot that too when he was deep in the clutches of inspiration and five energy drinks.
"Ou-sama, can you keep it down?" Ritsu yawns, rubbing his eyes as he looks at Leo from his spot on the floor. Leo laughs apologetically as Ritsu puts his head back down. Arashi playfully rolls her eyes and directs her attention to their former king.
"You've been in a good mood lately. What happened that we don't know about?"
Before Leo can explain what happened in the flower field, his phone beeps in his pocket. Taking it out, his eyes widen as he stares at the new notification sitting on his lock screen. Looks like Past Leo was already subscribed to Kanade's channel; now he won't have to waste time finding them! And a new song so soon must mean she put his music to good use. The rest of the world fades away as he fishes his earbuds out of his other pocket and begins untangling them so he could listen.
("How rude." Arashi huffs, but there's a fondness in her eyes as she watches Leo excitedly stare at his phone.)
The moment Leo hits play, the outside world ceases to exist. He finds himself in Nightcord's world, his own music playing back to him with a few changes in key. Soft voices sing with underlying anguish and sadness but with the tiniest spark of hope at the same time. Beautiful is the only word that comes to mind.
"Eh? Ou-sama, are you crying?" Ritsu's voice somehow finds a way past his earbuds as he briefly glances up. Removing one bud from his ear, he watches his members look at him with concern. Was he…
Touching his face, Leo realizes he was crying. Wiping his damp face, Leo hits pause as the song nears its end. "Hahaha, I'm perfectly fine!" They eye him, clearly not believing him, but don't say another word as he clicks on the video description. The credits don't say Kanade's real name, just her username along with the rest of her group, but the very end catches his attention.
"Inspired by the composer who reminded me how important our songs can be. I hope you escaped the alien."
And of course she remembers the end of their meeting when he had to flee. Well, he won't burst her bubble by letting her know he was caught… embarrassingly fast by Madara (he blames his long ass arms, why does a guy need such long limbs?). Searching around for her profile, he sends a quick private message praising the song. That detour in Shibuya was worth it to be able to hear that melody.