Work Text:
Tim was surprised to discover that Jason did not have the chiseled body he had always pictured in his head.
The man was definitely built to kill, there was no doubt of that. His shoulders were hulking, his back was absolutely massive and a single one of his arms was roughly the size of Tim’s waist.
But in place of where there would have been washboard abs, instead there sat a nice plump belly that only revealed itself after Jason stretched and sent his shirt riding up.
Tim must have been looking for a while.
“Eyes up here Timbo.” Jason says.
Tim looks up just in time to be met with a swat across the cheek, his hair flicks with the impact.
What the fuck. Tim blinked. For a second he didn’t know what was going on and then he sees Jay’s grin and fighting stance and headphones on and realizes. Adrenaline flashes through Tim, and he swipes back, but Jason ducks under it before slapping Tim again on the other cheek.
Tim’s cheek stings, but his ego stings a little more. His eyes flash. He drops into his own stance and charges Jason. Jason easily absorbs the hit. Tim spins, lands a strike on Jason’s ribcage and Jason throws a left hook, which Tim ducks under.
Both of them circle each other, staying light on their feet, wound up and ready to strike. Jay is watching Tim, and Tim is watching Jay, and Jay is watching Tim and they’re circling, sidestepping, trying to psych each other out.
Jason barrels into Tim, knocks the breath out of him and flips him over. Tim ends up upside down, held up by the ankle like a raggedy Anne doll, swinging back and forth.
Tim finds himself swinging inches away from Jason’s middle. Jason’s belly swells and drops with every breath underneath Jay’s tight wifebeater.
Something playful flicks across Tim’s expression and he suddenly cannot control the urge. He mashes his face into Jason’s stomach, nosing it. Jason yelps, drops Tim and guards his belly.
“Tim!” Jason squeaks. He looks scandalized that Tim would do such a thing. His eyebrows are furrowed but the corner of his mouth is crooked into a smile. “You are so fucking weird.”
Tim drops to his feet. He ducks under and around Jason and gives his belly another good prod. Jay spins around trying to grab him.
They’re now on the mats on the ground, panting. Jason is pouring his water bottle into his mouth and on his face and all over his shirt. Tim’s heart is pittering with the adrenaline of their playfight and the quiet excitement of this new discovery.
Jason.
The Jason. Had a belly.
The spark of arousal flicked on in Tim. He wanted to smack himself for being such a complete lizard-brain that this was all he could think about while Jason was going on about his feelings and character development or something.
Tim responded on autopilot while he was staring into Jay’s bellybutton, nodding along. It was more evidence that Tim had no idea what he was doing, the fact that he was now sitting here eyeing Jason like a fox would eye a fattened hen.
He just had never seen Jason this way before. Jay had always been sharp, prickly and hungry looking. He used to look like he denied himself everything except for anger and cigarettes.
To Tim, Jason was little more than “a guy who hated him” and Tim used to do his very best to keep his distance.
But Jason’s new look flipped a switch. Oh it flipped a switch hard.
Jay is leaned back, still talking, and he pulls up the bottom of his wifebeater to wipe sweat off his forehead. His bare belly is suddenly on full glorious display. Tim’s eyes nearly roll back into his skull.
“Where did all that even come from?” Tim blurts put loud.
Jay pauses, thinking for a second that Tim is talking about his emotional issues.
He follows Tim’s gaze and his cheeks colour with a blush when he realizes Tim’s eyes are locked on his belly.
Jason tugs his shirt down and answers honestly.
“Eating.” Jason says.
“Yeah?” Tim says, inviting him to elaborate.
“It came from eating.” Jason repeats. “I know that might be a foreign concept to you.” Jason pokes Tim in the ribcage.
Tim’s eyes flashed down Jason’s body. “It seems like you’ve been picking up the slack for the both of us.” It was so risky but he wanted to say it anyways.
Thankfully, Jason just breaks into a barking laugh, instead of killing him. Wild. His smile is still sharp, wolfish and a bit scary just like Tim remembers. “Hey fuck you, you little twerp.” Jason pushes Tim lightly, but it’s completely affectionate and not at all murderous. “I’m very sorry If I’m enjoying myself, for once in my entire life.”
Tim’s heart drops. He feels bad because he doesn’t doubt that for a second. His expression softens. “Tell me about it.”
Jason hung his head. “Ahhhh jeez.”
“Please?” Tim folds up and hugs his knees to his chest.
Jason sighed and stared directly at the floor. He didn’t say anything for a long time and then opened his mouth. He paused and scratched his head. “I dunno. I’ve just been a lot more relaxed I guess.”
“Relaxed?”
“Less to prove. Less angry.”
Tim nodded.
Jason continued. “I’m not sure if it was the therapy or time or what, but things feel different now. I started being kinder to myself…I realized I deserved it.” Jason’s eyes met Tim’s. “I didn’t deserve to treat myself as horribly as I did. I didn’t deserve to say the things that I said about myself. Once I started really showing myself love, which is what I wanted from other people all along…well.” Jason shrugs.
Tim stares at him. Jason is looking down, clearly a little shy.
“I think I was so angry at the world because deep down I knew I didn’t deserve it.“ Jason went on. “I didn’t deserve the way I was treated, the hand I was dealt. So I decided I was allowed to be angry, but I didn’t have to hate myself on top of it. I’m all I got.”
“Right.”
“So I gave myself what I didn’t have before. Relaxation. Peace. Structure. Home cooked meals.”
Tim feels sad for him at the mention of missing such simple things. “Wow.”
“You thought I wouldn't change huh?”
Tim tilted his head, bit his lip, rocked back and forth. “Sadly, no.”
Jason chuckled, his stomach bouncing along with the movement. “Yeah, me neither. The old me would have killed you for that comment. ‘Fuck you, I can change!“
Tim agreed with that. It was funny hearing Jason imitate his past self. Then Tim really thought about it. “I guess I have it in my head that everyone in this family stays mired in their issues for life. Being fucked up is a badge of honour.”
“Yeah, sometimes I feel that way.”
“But,” Tim continued, “That thing you just told me, about finally giving yourself what you didn’t have before?” Tim said. “I just wanted to say that it looks good on you. It looks really good.”
Jason blushes a little. “Really?”
“Yeah, really.” Tim wants to say so much more. Instead he sits there and he enjoys the completeness of the moment. It felt like something Jason had to say. It feels like an open door to new possibilities that Tim hasn’t met yet.
And then, because Tim cannot leave it alone, he says, “But seriously Jay how much have you been eating?”
Jason rolls over and hides his face and makes a low guilty noise. “I might have discovered weed too.”
“No kidding.”