Work Text:
“Fuck.” Kaoru’s breath hitches in his throat, the tears in his eyes threaten to spill over.
“I’m leaving for America first thing tomorrow.”
Adam’s voice rings in his ears over and over again, stuck on repeat. He turns up the volume on his phone hoping that the sound in his ears will drown out the conversation, but it doesn’t. That one phrase sticks out more than anything else. It’s a turning point in their lives, he knows that. Just a fork in the road.
It can’t have been Adam’s decision. It didn’t seem that way at least, when the blue-haired boy was staring firmly at the ground. No, it must have been made for him--almost like he was grabbed by the wrist and directed where to go.
Whatever the case, it doesn’t change the fact that Adam is leaving.
And it doesn’t change the fact he didn’t even bother to tell Kaoru until tonight, when nothing more could be said or done about it.
Maybe it’s for the best. Maybe this is meant to be a test of sorts, to help him move on from Adam. Maybe he shouldn’t question the universe. Maybe this was just another lesson.
Still, his heart feels like it’s breaking in two.
Oh, life. Ever unpredictable.
He hadn’t meant to fall for Adam. It certainly wasn’t on his list of things to do.
But he had.
And it felt right.
It was the time of his life.
He had thought it was Adam’s, too.
Was he wrong?
Kaoru stares across the room, eyes catching on the photographs hastily taped to the wall. Just a few, printed on regular paper--Kojiro’s doing--each one holding more meaning than he could possibly say out loud. They’re all of them --him and Adam, Kojiro and Adam, him and Kojiro. And then the one that he loves most of all--the three of them, together. The picture was taken by Adam’s stoic driver, rather reluctantly, but it’s perfect. All of them, laughing, holding each other, just…being there for each other. Together. How it should be.
He chokes back the whine, curling in on himself. Each picture stands out in his mind, a freeze-frame. And over the top of them is Adam’s voice on repeat.
He can’t keep doing this. It’s not healthy. It’s…the opposite.
Time to shelve those memories. Maybe, in time, he can come back to them. Maybe time will heal his broken heart. Only one way to find out, right?
------------------
“--ru.” He wakes to a hand on his shoulder, the cord to his earbuds wrapped around his neck, only one still in. The angry sounds of punk rock have faded away, replaced by the silence of a dead phone. “Kaoru?” the voice repeats.
He sits up and makes eye contact with Kojiro’s shoulder, the fresh ink dark against his skin. Another memory; Adam said they should all get matching tattoos, had said that Kojiro’s would be the sun, Kaoru’s would be the moon, and his own would be a star. They would always be together, just like the celestial bodies in the sky. A lie. Was everything a lie?
Kojiro had gone first, braving the chair, the wrath of his parents, standing trial for supposed crimes against his own skin. And of course Kaoru’s parents were told, and of course they forbade him from ever doing it to himself, lest he lose his inheritance. And even though neither he nor Kojiro ever said it, they both knew that Adam would have never gone through with it. Kojiro didn’t care though. Had said it was worth it anyway, that it added to his charm or something.
“Are you okay? It’s…it’s been three days.” Kaoru blinks, shocked out of his thoughts at the tone in his best friend’s voice, looking up at him slowly. The concern he finds on the other’s face shatters what little self-control he has left.
Is he okay ? No. No, he’s not okay .
Kaoru should want to curse Adam. He should want to rage and scream and break something--just like his heart was broken--but that’s not what comes out. Instead, there are only tears, leaving streaks down his face as he rubs at his eyes.
The time of his life…just gone. Like that. Like it was never there in the first place. Like he was never special at all.
It hurts.
Kojiro takes a seat next to him on the bed, pulls him close, holds him as he silently cries. Presses gentle kisses to the top of his head, rubs his back encouragingly, whispers sweet nothings. A swell of affection rises in his chest, and he shifts in Kojiro’s arms, burying his face in the crook of his neck. This too, was unpredicted. But something about it…something about Kojiro holding him while he falls apart also feels right, in its own way.
He hopes that wherever Adam is tonight, that however he’s dealing with this separation, that the other remembers them.
Remembers, and thinks of them fondly.
And hopes that maybe, just maybe, it was also the time of Adam’s life.