Work Text:
If there was one thing Dream considered himself great at, it would be not talking about his break up.
He was the best at not talking about his break up actually. He refused to open his mouth or even utter George’s name out loud.
He sat by when Karl and Sapnap removed every last trinket George brought to America and bought over time. What Karl didn’t know was that the little quartz elephant was in Dream’s bedside table in the first drawer. He couldn’t bring himself to get rid of it. It didn’t feel right to box it up or even throw it out. It was a piece of their history, their friendship, their career.
He never took it out of the drawer, but the comfort of it being there helped him when it was hard missing George.
The thing about dating your best friend was that as soon as you break up, you inevitably miss two people from your life.
Dream missed George as his boyfriend. He missed tracing fingers over his spine, he missed the way his nose scrunched up in the morning when he woke up, he missed kissing him, feeling lazy lips against his skin, he missed laying down anywhere in the house with an armful of him, or feeling George’s fingers run through his hair.
But he also missed George as his best friend. He missed his laugh, his dumb jokes, the bickering of Sapnap and George in the kitchen at 3am. He missed the way George kneeled down to pet patches, how he would sometimes meow back at her, and always reply whenever she made any noise in his direction. He missed the loud music playing in the car, he missed the third driver on grocery trips, he missed recording with him, he missed hopping into vc only to find him already online. He missed messing around with him on stream. Hell, he even missed their late night calls when they were miles apart, talking about everything and nothing.
He missed two people, and no one could ever replace them. Dream hated that realization the most about their break up.
The smallest part of his brain hated George for leaving, cursing his name. The part never wanted to see George again, never wanted to hear his dumb voice ever again, never wanted to know he was happy.
But Dream didn’t think of himself as a resentful person, he hoped George thought the same about him. After he spent 20 minutes of his day hating George for leaving him behind in the most selfish way possible, he simply decided to not hate him, to not be sad.
He was fine. And he would continue being fine.
He followed Karl’s request though and canceled a few plans that were set to be in the near future. He didn’t feel good not recording with his friends, but maybe he simply needed the time for himself.
Dream never found himself talking about George with either Karl or Sapnap. Sapnap was working through the break up himself. Sure he didn’t lose a lover, but he, in a way, also lost a best friend. He had been awake apparently, when George snuck out of the house. Dream had overheard Karl and Sapnap talk on the phone. Apparently George left a note for Dream. And apologized to Sapnap but left regardless of Sapnap trying to get him to stay.
Dream had not yet read the note George left for him.
Karl was a whole different problem from Sapnap. Dream understood he wanted to be there for Sapnap, and to an extent also for Dream, to help them work through what George had done. But Karl tried it by shit talking George. And Dream simply couldn’t.
He stayed quiet for most of the conversations and made himself a mask of happiness, that wasn’t broken and sad. What a joke his life had become. He had finally laid the mask down and face revealed, only to pick up a new one to keep everyone in his life happy.
He had not bet on Tommy to show up almost unannounced.
Tommy had messaged him a week before he showed up, saying how cool it was that George was on a road trip now! He asked why Dream and Sapnap didn’t join him. Dream had replied with the semi truth, that he had simply not felt like joining in. And it was partly true.
He had been content in their life, the way domesticity slowly crawled into their hearts, into their bed and their living room. It felt settled and real. Dream really thought it could last like this. This was his forever and he was ready for it.
But George had not thought the same. He had begged for adventure, for something new, something out of the ordinary, something not part of their routine. Dream wanted to give that to him. But he underestimated the extent of which George was in need of
new.
Dream promised to think about it. But the more George pushed, the more Dream realized there was only one way out of this. There was only one way this would end for them. He had felt the break up, processed the break up before he woke up to an empty bed on a lonely Tuesday morning.
But Tommy messaging him about how jealous he was of George traveling wherever he wanted was the first instant of Dream talking about George again. Tommy casually dropped mid conversation how he would be coming over soon to check out gatorland, and that Dream had to join in. Dream, foolishly, agreed.
The moment Tommy stepped foot into their house, his face fell dramatically. One could compare it to the moments when he was still roleplaying on the smp, when he realized something awful happened. That was the exact same face he was spurting when he walked into Dream’s living room.
Tommy had been over a couple times since he moved to the US with Wilbur. He knew how filled the rooms used to be. How many little bits and pieces of all of them together were in every corner. His mother helped Dream hang up pictures of the Dreamteam all around the hallway. He loved having decor around the living area that indicated how lived in this place was.
But the walls were more bare now. A lot of decor was boxed up somewhere in their garage. And Tommy nodded to himself, walking into the kitchen to pour a glass of water. He moved like he lived there too, and Dream enjoyed the simpleness of the moment.
Tommy sipped his water, before he took a deep breath: “Dream.”
“Yeah?”
“George didn’t just go on a road trip, right?”
“What do you mean?”
Tommy looked around one more time, before he moved to lean against the kitchen counter. At this moment Dream realized how old Tommy had gotten. He had grown so much from the first time they talked. Dream felt pride well in his chest for the person in front of him, if only to overshadow the dread he was feeling in his stomach.
“George and you,” Tommy started carefully, “this was a break up, right?”
Dream’s mind raced to come up with something to say, but it came back empty, so he settled on a choked out: “Yeah…”
Dream didn’t plan for this to happen, but the water was already spilling over, tears flowing down his cheeks and gathering at his obsessively shaven chin, pearling down his throat and soaking the collar of his shirt. “Yeah, we broke up.”
Tommy didn’t ask. He didn’t push for more details, he didn’t look angry, or full of pity, like all his other friends had done. He simply looked a bit sad as moved to stand next to Dream. He reached over to rub Dream’s back as the older finally broke down into sobs for the first time since George had left.
The emotions he had buried inside his chest, locked away from his heart, finally broke out and poured out like an unstoppable flood.
His knees weakened and he dropped to the floor, curling in on himself. Tommy simply followed and continued to rub his back.
“I miss him…”
“Yeah, I know.”
“He left me. And I miss him so much..”
“I know, Dream. I’m sorry.”
“I wasn’t enough for him. And yet, I still miss him so fucking much. I wasn’t what he wanted and I am here, crying because I just want him back.”
“He’s a selfish prick for leaving like that,” Tommy said, his voice trying to carry some humor he wasn’t feeling.
Dream sniffled and took a deep breath, but he was interrupted by a sob. “Yeah. You could say that, I guess.”
Tommy smiled weakly over at him, rubbing soothing circles into his back the way Wilbur did whenever Tommy missed home.
“It’s okay to miss him.”
“No. It’s not just that.”
“What is it?”
“I love him, Tommy.”
“Okay.”
“And I always will.”
“Okay.”
It was not okay.