Chapter Text
“What is going to happen to him?”
“Dying is he going to”, Master Yoda answers, and your watery eyes look at him with horror.
“What? You can’t let him die! He didn’t do anything wrong!”
“According to the deal the Republic has made with the Kaminoan government, he is their property and in case of a clear dysfunction, he is to be decommissioned”.
Property.
Decommissioned.
That’s what he and his brothers were for everyone in this damn place?
A thing?
An expendable soldier in white armor?
How did it come to this?
Your fists clench without control.
“They can’t do that”, you say, so low that you’re surprised they heard you on their high tribunes.
“They can and they will”.
You look to the floor; the tears are spilling but you don’t care that they see.
You’re tired of caring too much for them, for this Order, for this war.
You can’t do it anymore.
“What if I left the Order willingly?”, you ask, with a shaky voice, moving your eyes to them.
They are surprised like they don’t believe your words.
“If I renounce to the Order, will you talk to the Kaminoans?”, you ask again, louder this time.
They look at each other.
“Love him you do, hmm?”
“Of course, I do! He saved me, he hold my hand, he was there when all of you left me alone! I was falling into the Dark and he pull me out of it! How can I not do the same?!”
They stare at you, at how much passion there is in your voice, at how much pain and tears are falling from your eyes.
Attachment was forbidden, yet it was an attachment that saved you from the dark side of the Force.
“We are sorry, dear. We didn’t –“, they start but you don’t let them finish.
“No, don’t apologize! You all sensed it, you knew I was sad, you knew I was angry, you knew I was suffering, that I was so close to the edge, and what did you do? You send me to fight in a war that made me feel worse!”
They stay in silence.
You gulp, cleaning your tears with your wrists.
“I’m too emotional and too political to be a Jedi anyway. I-I can’t be here anymore”.
“You’re a Jedi Knight, dear, you can’t simply renounce”.
“I can and I will”, you say, looking at them with so much anger.
There is a moment of tense silence after that. You can feel the Temple Guards behind you lighting their lightsabers, yet when you realize that, you calm yourself and the dark presence in the room disappears.
The three members of the council look at each other before they look at you again.
“If we accept your renounce, only if, would you be a problem to the Order and the Jedi?”
“If you’re asking if I’m going to join the dark side after leaving this place, the answer is no”, you answer, looking at them with a more serene expression. “Not after him”.
And they look at you like they are waiting for you to elaborate but you stay in silence.
They look at each other again.
“Very well”.
“Accept your renounce we do”.
“From this day forward, you are no Jedi. You’re privileges and rights as one are revoked. You are to not enter this Temple and associate yourself with our name ever again. Please, give your lightsaber, since you don’t have the right to have it anymore”.
A Temple Guard approaches you and gets the lightsaber from your belt in a rougher than necessary movement.
“May your knowledge and the Force guide you in your new life”.
“What about him?”, you ask, looking at them again.
They stay quiet for a second.
“Our promise you have, that we will do for him everything we can”.
Your heart feels lighter, but not free.
You nod before looking down again.
“Guards, please accompany them to the exit”.
“May the Force be with you”, they said at the same time.
The guards approached you and you turned around.
While you walked to the Temple’s exit a lot of emotions rushed through you.
An uncertain future, hope in a mere promise, loss for the people you have always known, guilt for betting everything on an attachment, but also relief of owning your life.
What were you going to do now?
You didn’t know, but you had a life to live, it was the less you could do for him, after all the help he gave you.