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Cecilia Harcourt had known of Edward Rokesby for all her life. He’d gone to Choate School with her late elder brother Thomas, but she’d always been away at the Sacred Heart Convent, her own personal hell of a school, when Edward had visited the Harcourts in Marswell, Rhode Island.
She hadn’t even known what his voice had sounded like until she’d telephoned him two days before her brother’s funeral.
“Edward Rokesby,” He answered.
“Edward, it’s Cecilia” She replied, trying not to sound like she’d just found his voice to be the most attractive thing she’d ever heard.
“Cecilia Harcourt?”
“That’s the one. I have a favour to ask of you”
“Do go on,” Edward replied, “You have my condolences, by the way”
“And you mine. Are you coming to the funeral?”
“Yes, why?”
“It’s just-” Cecilia started, unsure of how to ask her question, “my godmother will be there and she’s always asking if I’m stepping out with somebody, and then she always tries to set me up with somebody and it’s always horrendous”
“So you want me to pretend I’m stepping out with you, so she’ll leave you alone?” Edward replied, trying not to let his amused smile become audible, lest Cecilia think he was making fun of her.
“I realise it’s a big ask and utterly ridiculous”
“Don’t be a dumb dora, Cecilia. I can pretend to have a mad pash on you for an afternoon”
“Oh Edward, however will I thank you?”
“There’s no need, Cecilia, really. I’ll see you at the funeral”
Cecilia hung up the telephone and leant back against the wall. She couldn’t believe he’d actually agreed to it, and she hadn’t had to persuade him for hours and hours and hours. He didn’t really know her, after all.
She sat on one of the sofas in the large front room, taking everything in. She thought about her family, and how she was the last one left, even though she was only 23. Their mother had died when Cecilia was a baby, and their father had died a year ago. Now Thomas was gone, too, with leukaemia. It was just her, and a big, creaky old house, left of the Harcourts. As she sat there, she tried to decide what to do. Should she sell the house? She wouldn’t be able to maintain it on her own, even with her not-insignificant inheritance. It almost had too many memories. Did she keep it to retain them? Or sell up to set them free?
She was still pondering these thoughts when she arrived at St Francis’ Catholic Church in Marswell town two days later, ready to say goodbye to her brother. It seemed like the whole town had turned up to say goodbye to him, too. She took her place at the door of the church, greeting everyone as they arrived. Her godmother was one of the first to arrive. Cecilia greeted her with a hug, and she led her to her seat at the front. There was no more family to join Cecilia there, so she may as well keep her company.
More and more people arrived, giving Cecilia condolences upon condolences, and repeating remarks about admiration of her strength at this difficult time. Cecilia thanked them all, in much the same manner, and wondered when Edward was going to arrive.
She noticed him immediately, when he did. He walked into the church in the finest cut black double breasted suit Cecilia had ever seen. She didn’t even know what Edward looked like, but the second she saw him walk in, she knew it was him. He was tall and broad and terrifically handsome. She wondered what she’d let herself in for, with her telephone call and subsequent plan.
“Cecilia, I’m sorry I’m late,” He said, quickly kissing her on the cheek.
“Thank you for coming, Edward” She replied, taking his offered arm. He leant down and whispered in her ear something about being sorry for catching her off-guard with the kiss on the cheek, but Cecilia could hardly hear him over the sound of the blood rushing around her head, roaring in her ears.
The service went well, with Cecilia delivering a heartfelt eulogy. When she sat down in her seat again, a single tear was rolling down her cheek. Edward quickly wiped it away with his thumb, and then took her hand. He squeezed it, and leant over a little.
“You’re doing so well, Cecilia” He whispered, as the Priest said another prayer.
Cecilia took a deep and shaky breath, trying to hold back her tears completely. It wouldn’t be long until the service was over, and she could escape back home to compose herself. The town hall was hosting the Wake, as so many people had wanted to attend. She hadn’t been sure about it before, but now she was incredibly grateful for it.
“I’m going to go home for a half hour or so,” Cecilia explained to her godmother, “I’ll be there in a little while”
“Of course, dear. Nobody would begrudge you not coming at all” The older woman replied.
Cecilia smiled weakly, and made for the door. Edward turned from the conversation he was having with some old school buddies, and ran to catch her up.
“Let me come with you, Cecilia,” He said quietly, “I’d hate for anything to happen to you”
Cecilia nodded silently and took his offered arm, feeling a sense of security. Edward was big and strong and would look after her, just for today.
The trees were just starting to turn orange, the New England autumn that Cecilia loved so much finally on its way. The first few leaves that had fallen crunched underneath Cecilia’s black patent shoes as they walked down the main street towards her home. She knew Edward had been there before many times, but never with her. To be there with him was a strange sensation. It was almost how she knew Thomas was really gone. Never had she and him been at Marswell together when Thomas had been alive.
She opened the front door with her latch-key, and stood aside to let Edward in. He hung up his coat on the rack by the door, before he helped her out of hers. She didn’t know what to say, so she didn’t say anything. She just made her way through to the kitchen and started making coffee.
“Last time I was here, you had a cook” Edward commented as he leant against the countertop.
“There didn’t seem much point with just me. Mrs Atkins understood” Cecilia replied, pouring him a cup. She handed him the cream and the sugar, not knowing how he took it. It seemed strange that she didn’t know, considering how well Thomas and Edward had known each other. Edward was a stranger to her, and yet he wasn’t. She felt like she’d known him all her life, but they’d never actually met.
She put some cream in her own coffee and sat on the countertop opposite the window, staring out into the garden. Slowly, the tears started to fall. Edward placed his coffee cup down and sat on the countertop next to her, an arm around her shoulders. She leant into his embrace, and sobbed quietly, tears soaking into the shoulder of his suit. Edward didn’t say a word. He just held her until the sobs had become quiet sniffles. He reached into his inside pocket for his handkerchief, and handed it over to her.
“Sorry for crying on you” Cecilia whispered, taking a big mouthful of coffee in a vain attempt to rehydrate herself.
“Don’t be stupid, Cecilia,” Edward replied, pressing a kiss into her hair, “you just buried your brother. I think you’re allowed to cry”
Cecilia nodded and ran her hand through her hair. She didn’t know what to do with herself. All she knew was that Edward’s arm felt nice around her.
They decided it was probably best if they made their way to the town hall. They finished their cups of coffee in contented silence, and put their coats back on, and Cecilia locked the door with her latch-key. They walked back down the street to the town hall, Cecilia’s hand once again in the crook of Edward’s elbow. It felt so natural, she could almost forget they were just pretending.
She spent the rest of the day making small-talk, thanking people for coming to the funeral and saying that her stepping out with Edward was very new but they were very happy. He never left her side, only straying a little to get her another drink or some food or to lead her to a chair.
He walked her home at the end of the Wake, despite her protests. She unlocked the door with her latch-key. He hung his coat up on the rack by the door, and helped her with hers. She made her way through to the kitchen, Edward following her. They sat on the countertop again, and Edward held her as she cried again.
It had long since gotten dark when Edward left, with an apology that he needed to get back home to Crake, Massachusetts and his family home. Cecilia had told him she understood, and had thanked him for his day’s service rescuing her from her godmother, and sent him on his way with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, plus some sandwiches for the road. Once she heard his car pull off of the driveway and onto the road, she was alone once again. She was truly alone. The ghost of Thomas had been laid to rest when they’d buried him earlier that day in the churchyard, and Edward had left too.
A month later, Cecilia’s mind was still full of the big, strong, handsome man that her brother’s best friend had turned out to be. It seemed silly to have a crush on him. She’d only met him once, on one of the saddest days of her life, but she’d gotten through it thanks to him. His kind words and strong arms had gotten her through it, and now she couldn’t stop thinking about him.
She’d just managed to stop thinking about him for all of her waking moments when a letter arrived for her.
Cecilia,
Come and spend the holidays with us? I’d hate to think of you being on your own. I’ll wire you money for travel expenses if you need it, just ask.
Edward (and the entire Rokesby family)
xx
She quickly called the telephone operator, and was put through to the local operator in Crake almost immediately.
“Crake, Massachusetts”
“The Rokesby family, please. Sorry, I don’t know their number”
“Putting you through now, Miss”
Cecilia tapped her foot on the ground as she waited.
“Hello?” A deep male voice answered.
“Edward? Is that you?” Cecilia asked, well aware that Edward had three brothers, and she was sure they must sound at least a little bit alike.
“You got my letter then?”
“What day should I arrive?” She asked.
“Whenever you like. Mother says you’re welcome when you like, for as long as you like” Edward replied, his smile surely audible.
“I’ll see you somewhen, then, Edward”
She hung up the phone and let out a deep sigh. Any thoughts of Edward and his voice and his arms and everything else about him that had gone away had come flooding back, and now she was spending Christmas with him and his family. He’d only been pretending to step out with her for a day, but it had snowballed into so much more, for Cecilia at least.
Before she knew it, it was 20th December and she was on her way across the state border to Massachusetts. She’d had a letter from Edward the day before with directions to the Rokesby family home, and with information about his family.
His parents were Manston ‘Earl’ Rokesby and Helen Bevelstoke Rokesby. His elder brother George, had recently married family friend Billie Bridgerton. Edward was the second brother, followed by Andrew, 22, and then Nicholas, 15. They had a sister, Mary, who was Billie’s best friend, but she was away with some friends from boarding school for the holiday season.
She knocked on the door of the Rokesby family home with trepidation. She hoped to god it was Edward who opened the door, and not one of his brothers. Much to her relief, it was.
“Cecilia! It’s so good to see you” Edward greeted, leaning down to take her suitcase, stopping to kiss her on the cheek on his way up.
“Thank you for inviting me, Edward. I really appreciate it” Cecilia replied, hanging her coat up on the rack by the door. There were many other coats hanging on it. Clearly the whole family were gathered together.
“You’re welcome, now come on. Mom and Dad are anxious to meet you” He said, grabbing her hand and leading her through the building. He led her to a drawing room, where there were a great many people.
“Everyone, this is Thomas’ sister Cecilia. Cecilia, this is, well, everyone” He said, gesturing to an empty seat on one of the sofas. Cecilia sat down and instantly felt a hand on top of hers.
“Thank you for coming, dear. Edward was very anxious that you were not on your own” Edward’s mother said, smiling weakly at her.
“It was very kind of you Mrs Rokesby,” Cecilia replied, squeezing the elder woman’s hand, “it was very kind of all of you to let me intrude on your family Christmas”
“Don’t be silly!” A young woman, presumably the newly married Billie, called from the other side of the room, “Besides, Edward’s hardly stopped talking about you, we just had to meet you”
Both Cecilia and Edward blushed scarlet, and a cushion was soon thrown at Billie by Edward.
“Edward, Andrew, and Billie all grew up together. She’s always been like a sister to those two, so pay her no mind. She doesn’t mean to tease you, only Edward” Helen whispered, anxious that Cecilia should not be put off by her amusing but slightly tactless daughter-in-law.
After a very nice dinner, at which Cecilia became better acquainted with both Andrew and George Rokesby, she retired to her room, claiming travel tiredness. It wasn’t a lie, she was indeed tired, but she also needed a little bit of time to herself. Billie’s little joke about Edward not being able to stop talking about her had wormed its way into her brain. If what Billie was saying was in any way true, it threw a huge spanner in the works. What if Edward did feel the same way about her that she did about him? She’d spent the weeks since Edward’s letter coming to terms with her feelings for him, coming to terms with the fact that she was fairly sure that she was in love with him. It felt so silly, she’d only spent one day in his company but her heart ached at the thought of never seeing him again, and every time she thought about him, her heart skipped a beat. She’d never been in love before, but she imagined this was what it felt like, this all-consuming thing she felt for him.
She sat in the armchair in the corner of the room, looking out of the window into the darkness. She started to doze off, hardly noticing a knock on the door. She turned around to see Edward poking his head around the door.
“Can I come in?” He asked.
“Sure,” Cecilia replied, turning the armchair around so it faced more into the room. She moved over and sat on the edge of the bed, leaving the chair for Edward. He didn’t sit down, preferring to pace by the window. Cecilia thought he looked nervous, but she couldn’t imagine why.
“Is something wrong, Edward?”
Edward took a deep breath, and turned to face her.
“Nothing’s wrong, I just…” Edward started, “I shouldn’t have come. I’ll go”
He made for the door, but Cecilia got in front of it before he could reach it.
“You obviously came for a reason, Edward, tell me what it is?” She said, arms spread wide across the door.
Edward didn’t say a word. He just pulled her into his arms and crashed his lips down on hers. She faltered for a moment, but soon she was responding with equal ardour. She couldn’t pretend that she hadn’t imagined what it would be like to kiss Edward, and the reality far outweighed the imagination. They stumbled across the room, and collapsed into a heap on the bed, Cecilia pinned beneath Edward, the strong arms she loved so much either side of her head.
“I’ve fallen in love with you, Cecilia,” Edward whispered, “I think I had loved the idea of you, from what Thomas had told me over the years, all it took was one day in Marswell for me to fall head over heels”
Cecilia could do nothing but kiss him again, fingers tangling into his hair.
“I love you too, Edward. I haven’t stopped thinking about you” She murmured as Edward’s lips traced down her jaw towards her neck.
“Thinking about you, dreaming about you, wanting you” He replied, pressing a kiss to her pulse point that made her breath catch in her throat.
They didn’t emerge from that room until morning, and for Christmas, Edward gave her an engagement ring.