Chapter Text
“You’re gonna do what?!” Dan asks when Yaz hasn't said anything. She’s too much in shock at what she just heard “Are you sure that’s safe?”
“It’s the only way.” The Doctor says, but she doesn't seem so sure this is a good option. But she has explained everything. Everything that's gonna happen and what Yaz and Dan need to do, but she still looks unsure and that makes Yaz so much more nervous.
Her nerves must show, because suddenly there’s a hand gently wrapping around her bicep and that forces Yaz to look up and meet those soft hazel eyes staring right at her.
“You okay?” The Doctor asks, searching Yaz’s face carefully and Yaz simply nods.
“I’m good, I just-” She swallows, a heavy lump suddenly forming on her throat “You’re gonna turn human? And you won't have any memories of who you are and this life and…” Yaz closes her eyes not being able to finish that sentence, letting a tear roll down her cheek and the Doctor reaches her other hand up to wipe it away.
“Yaz, look at me.” The Doctor says softly and Yaz looks up to find the Time Lord’s eyes shining as well “This is not me leaving you again.”
“Then why does it feel like it is?” More tears are streaming down her face now and she’s afraid to say anything else.
“Oh, Yasmin.” The Doctor lets go of Yaz’s arm but only so she can wrap her arms around Yaz’s shoulders and pull her close “I’m gonna be right here. I wont be this me, but I will still be here. And you’ll bring me back.”
“What if I can't do it?” Yaz mutters against the Doctor’s shoulder “What if I can't convince you to come back?”
“You’ll find a way.” The Doctor pulls away and places a kiss on Yaz’s forehead and then looks right into her eyes “If anyone can bring me back, it’s you Yasmin Khan.”
***
Yaz wakes up with a slight jolt. The dream again. Except is not so much a dream, but more like a memory. She can still feel the Doctor’s arms wrapped around her body, the softness of her blonde hair against her cheek. Her scent. Yaz misses that proximity so much. She misses the Doctor so much .
It’s already been a few months. The Doctor said she wasn't sure how long this hiding could last. At the most it would be six months, but Yaz hoped it didn't come to that. Six months was a lot.
Not as much as the ten months she had spent without the Doctor before, fully focused on finding her when Yaz didn't even know if the Doctor was alive. And definitely not as long as those 4 years she had spent with Dan and Jericho in the past. Back then she had a purpose, a mission the Doctor had left her with to occupy her time and mind doing something that was going to help the universe in the long run. Now, all the Doctor told them was to stay put. Not to draw too much attention to themselves because the species who was looking for them could be disguised as anyone. And more importantly: to not open the fob watch before it was time and they were sure they were completely safe.
So, Yaz and Dan couldn't do anything except wait. Both of them had found jobs as museum tour guides, something that very much delighted Dan, while Yaz could just about enjoy it. Apparently, their extensive knowledge of historical events had come in handy. But it was a good way to keep Yaz’s mind occupied with something else rather than the Doctor all the time.
They know where she is and what she does, but that’s pretty much it. They have agreed to check up on her, just to see how she’s doing at least once a week. It’s always Yaz who goes and Dan doesn't argue. He trusts that Yaz wont strike up a conversation and risk blowing their cover. The Doctor hadn't said anything about whether or not Yaz and Dan could engage with her, so they decided to play it safe and let her live her life and simply observe from a distance. But, if Yaz is being honest with herself, it’s becoming incredibly hard.
Because she really, really misses her. And she can't help but wonder about this woman wearing the Doctor’s face. Yaz has only seen her from a distance and she could already tell that this version of the Doctor was completely different from the one she is familiar with.
Her dress sense for one is the complete opposite. While the Doctor, her Doctor , wore flashy rainbows at any given opportunity and her outfit was able to stand out in any crowd, this version of the Doctor wore skinny jeans and tank tops. Yaz had to look away once or twice when she realised she was ogling the other woman. Yaz had never seen the Doctor’s arms so bare before and she had no idea how muscular they were. And the skinny jeans… Well, they hugged all the right places and Yaz couldn't deny that this version did something for her as much as the ‘real’ one.
But this Doctor was also a lot more flirty than the other. And more than once Yaz had to leave the vicinity earlier than expected because she couldn't stand watching the Doctor flirt with other women. It was always women. Yaz had noticed. The real Doctor had never once flirted with Yaz and yet, this version of the Time Lord flirted like it was the most natural thing in the world. Whether or not she was also sleeping with all these women, Yaz didn't want to know. Well, she did. But she was trying really hard not to go investigating those matters further because she knew if she found the answer, the most likely outcome would be that she would feel hurt.
And there was already enough hurt within her right now to be able to sustain another blow.
So, she had kept her distance. It was what was better for everyone.
Trying to move away from all of these thoughts, Yaz takes a look at her surroundings and realises she’s lying on the sofa. The low sound of the television in front of her indicates she had probably fallen asleep watching a movie… Again .
She checks her phone where she finds a message from Dan saying he’ll be working at the museum late tonight and asking her to let him know when she gets home. She texts him a quick reply and finally takes a look at the time on the top corner of the screen.
Yaz sighs. It's nearly time to leave to go and check up on the Doctor. For a while, this was Yaz’s favourite day of the week because she could finally get a glimpse of the other woman. And it was enough. To know the Doctor was safe and watching her from a distance. But after three months, it started to feel like a chore. Yaz misses her. And watching her without actually being able to talk to her is simply not enough anymore. But there’s nothing she can do about it. Her top priority needs to be to keep the Doctor safe.
She looks to her side to see the TARDIS standing there, in the corner of the living room. She had managed to land the ship on that spot three months ago and as soon as Yaz and Dan left it’s inside, the ship had gone into shutdown. The Doctor warned them that would happen. Their enemies could not find the TARDIS because that would mean finding the Doctor and that would mean… Well, it wouldn't mean anything good for anyone.
The Doctor said that when the ship became operational again, that's when Yaz and Dan would know it was safe to bring her back. To bring the Doctor back. Their Doctor.
But so far, nothing. They just had to keep going, one day at a time.
Yaz feels the heavy weight of the fob watch sitting on her jeans pocket and takes it out, swiping her thumb over the circular figures marked on it. Yaz knows it to be the Doctor’s language, but she doesn’t understand it very well yet. The Doctor had taught her only a bit when they were travelling alone.
“This watch is me, Yaz. Everything I am now, who I am, will be stored inside it. When it’s time, you have to make me open it. And then I’ll be me again.”
Yaz closes her eyes, pressing a kiss on the watch and remembering she needs to go and get ready to see the Doctor.
***
The bar is busy when Yaz walks in, but that's to be expected on a Friday night which is the only day Yaz ever comes in. She likes the fact that it’s busy because it gives her less chance of the Doctor noticing her presence.
She searches for her usual spot in the back to make her presence even less known. It’s a nice table in the corner, away enough from the counter but still close enough that she can always get a few good glimpses of the other woman. But tonight, however, that table is taken. A quick look around actually tells Yaz that there are no available tables and she sighs and resigns herself to sit at the counter where a chair has just become available. As soon as she sits, she sees her. And my god, moments like this makes Yaz wonder how on Earth did she ever think her feelings for the alien were purely platonic.
Today she has her hair in a half ponytail and Yaz finds comfort in seeing she’s still wearing her signature earring that Yaz had helped her choose all those years ago. And her clothes, well… Yaz certainly isn't complaining. From where she’s sitting she can see how well those skinny black jeans fit the blonde’s legs. She’s wearing a yellow tank top this time and Yaz smiles when she notices the belt on her jeans has a rainbow pattern. Her feet are covered by black vans, which Yaz has noticed to be the Doctor’s choice of footwear. At least this version of the Doctor anyway. Yaz would be lying if she said she doesn't miss seeing her in boots though.
Deciding not to stare at the other woman anymore in fear that it would start to come across as a little creepy, Yaz gets her phone out and sends a quick text to Dan to let him know she’s at the bar and that so far the Doctor seems to be doing just fine.
She scrolls through her phone for a bit, mainly her gallery where she finds comfort in looking at pictures of her and the Doctor in their adventures. She honestly can't wait to get back out there with her (and Dan, of course), but in the meantime what she actually needs is a drink.
She lifts her head ready to ask the second bartender (not the Doctor), for something to drink when a glass finds its way to her before she even has a chance to say anything. When Yaz looks up from the object that suddenly appeared in front of her, she’s met with hazel eyes already looking in her direction and for a moment, Yaz is completely lost for words.
Before she finds them though, the Doctor winks at her and says “It’s on the house.” and then she leaves again to serve other customers. Yaz is even more lost for words now.
She’s just been offered a drink. By the Doctor. The Doctor has actually noticed her and offered her a drink. This can either be really good or really bad. Yaz never actually wanted to get noticed. Let alone acknowledge to this extent. It’s definitely a surprise. Considering the version she knows of the Time Lord can be so oblivious most of the time. And when she takes a tentative sip of the beverage she’s even more surprised because this is the drink she’s been ordering every Friday for the past three months.
So, the Doctor (or whatever her name now is that Yaz still hasn't been able to find out), not only noticed Yaz but also knows what Yaz usually drinks. Has she been seeing Yaz every time she comes here? And if she truly has, why wait so long to do anything? Yaz is positively confused by it but decides it is not really worth dwelling on for now.
She sips on her drink at a casual pace, observing the people around her. There’s a lot of men chatting up to women who couldn't look less interested. A lot of couples cuddled up on the tables, hidden from view. A group of women who seem to be celebrating and at that moment Yaz realises how alone she is in here. Maybe she should’ve brought Dan with her. But for some reason, the man has always been very insistent that Yaz should be the one to check up on the Time Lord because she knows her better than he does. Yaz always gets the feeling there’s more that Dan is not telling her, but she never insists.
Still, deciding that the Doctor is doing just fine and there is no more need to stay around for much longer - Yaz finishes her drink and gets up to leave. But before she can leave the counter, a voice with a distinct Yorkshire accent calls.
“See you again next Friday then?”
Yaz looks back to see the blonde bartender picking up her glass and cleaning the spot where Yaz had just been drinking.
“Friday?” Yaz asks a little in shock.
“Yeah.” The blonde raises an eyebrow and then smiles at her “That’s usually when you come here, right?”
“You noticed?” Yaz tries not to sound nervous and shocked but whether or not she’s doing a good job of hiding it, she has no idea.
“Of course.” The blonde shrugs like it's no big deal and then she leans on her elbows on top of the now clean counter and smiles even more broadly at Yaz “Gorgeous woman like you, it’s very hard not to notice.”
And just like that Yaz feels like all the air has been sucked from her lungs and she once again finds herself completely lost on what to say. She knew this version of the Doctor was a flirt, she had witnessed it numerous times in the past few months, but actually thinking that she would one day be flirting with Yaz herself?! That was something Yaz hadn't dared to think about. And now that it was happening she had no idea what to do.
Thankfully, the blonde did.
“It’s Jesse, by the way.” She says “My name.”
Oh.
“Yasmin.” She extends her hand and when the Doc- Jesse takes it, Yaz feels warm crawling up her body.
“That’s a beautiful name.”
Yaz swallows.
“My friends call me Yaz.”
Jesse brings Yaz’s hand up and kisses the back of it and in that moment, Yaz swears her heart is ready to jump out of her chest.
“So, do I call you Yasmin or Yaz then?” Jesse asks and there’s a flirtatious glint in her eyes. And also a little hope.
“You can call me Yaz.”
“Brilliant!” The blonde’s face lights up at that and she lets go of Yaz’s hand. “See you next Friday then. Yaz.”
“See ya Jesse.”
Yaz leaves the bar with hazel eyes looking at her back and still feeling those softs lips on her hand.