Chapter Text
Concept of soulmates has always felt magical to Jimin.
After all, the person with whom you are connected by a common mark on your body at the first touch is someone who was meant to be sincerely destined to you until the end of your days.
The world knew perfectly well who this person should be. It linked you with a person who was supposed to make life go smoothly, and a smile appeared on your face more often.
Some people thought that only with your soulmate you would be really happy. Your glances will be able to communicate without words, your bodies will fit together like two perfect puzzle pieces. Everything has always been presented with superlatives. The reality-curving pink glasses had been sitting on the tip of Jimin's nose uninterruptedly for a very long time, creating in his mind the perfect vision of soulmates.
From an early age, he heard how incredible it was to meet your soulmate for the first time. Everyone who told him about it always had glowing eyes at that moment, huge smiles on their faces, completely engrossed in their happiness.
First encounter when your eyes meet.
They said that it changed your whole life forever. The world then turned 180 degrees and everything was never the same again. The first crossroads of gazes when a pleasant shiver passes through your heart. You feel a tingling deep inside your body as if it was just trying to tell you that the moment is about to come.
First touch.
People were telling Jimin that then everything that was happening suddenly disappeared. All the sounds fade out, and all you have in mind is a person whose heart beats in the same rhythm as yours.
Jimin could undoubtedly agree with all these stories when the tall, black-haired boy took a place in the class next to him. In that moment Jimin finally understood all these stories about what meeting their soulmates really meant.
Jimin felt exactly the same.
The world swirled before his eyes as their eyes met. It felt as if they were staring at each other for a very long time, though in fact the seconds were still passing in the same rhythm. He watched carefully at every little detail of his soulmate's face. How delicately his sun-kissed skin looks, how one basket of hair twisted from the other, which now fell cutely on his forehead.
And the first time they touched each other, when Jimin wanted to lend the boy his extra pen... Jimin realized how long he really lived in the dark. Everything that he felt gave him a kind of clarity of mind, but also a lightness of heart. With your soulmate by your side he felt that even if everything went wrong in life, everything would always work out with your other half by your side.
At least that's what Jimin thought for the first few seconds, because not shortly after that, instead of staring at the big smile on his face, as he supposed he would see, his eyes saw the terror painted on the black-haired man's face. He moved his hand away from Jimin quickly like his hand being on fire, his eyes showing uncertainty.
The black-haired man got up quickly from his seat, stumbling a bit as if he could not stand a second longer when he was so close to Jimin.
"Wait-" Jimin didn't have time to finish because the boy hurried out of the room, passing the professor who had just appeared in the doorway, leaving Jimin confused behind him.
Many emotions crossed Jimin's mind, but the worst of them was just sadness. Unimaginable sadness spread through his heart. He knew that maybe he shouldn't judge a boy in advance - he was his soulmate after all! However, this brief interaction between them, this extraordinary moment that was to go down in Jimin's story as the happiest of his life, quickly turned into his worst nightmare.
Jimin didn't know if he'd done something wrong, but for some reason he felt deep down in his heart as if it was all his fault.
All he has left is a void in his heart and a timid sun mark on his right wrist.
+++
The university was large, but within a few days it wasn't difficult for Jimin to find out more about the boy.
Kim Taehyung.
That was his name, and Jimin kept testing how its sound spreads through his tongue from time to time. He wanted to be able to actually try it out in practice, but from the moment they met for the first time, Taehyung seemed to sink into the ground. Jimin never met him again once, only making his heart feel heavier day by day.
For some reason, Taehyung avoided him, and Jimin tried his best not to cry at the thought. There were a lot of questions running through his mind, but none of them had a single right answer.
His soulmate, the person who was destined to be happy with him, apparently wanted absolutely nothing to do with Jimin. That hurts.
Jimin had the impression that this defeat on his first day at the university only sealed a series of misfortunes that began to befall him overnight. His motivation to study at the university effectively dropped, but despite everything, he could not allow himself to be lazy, so he threw himself into the swirl of work just to keep his head occupied.
With no effect.
No matter how much he did, how much he tried to sink into the pile of books and chores, his thoughts kept returning to the meeting with Taehyung. How quickly their acquaintance began and ended just as quickly.
However, despite the hopeless situation that loomed in front of him, Jimin still held on to that little ray of hope that loomed timidly around the corner. He kept his fragile heart and tears deep inside, so as not to accidentally reveal how he really felt. He couldn't give up and stopped dreaming. Even if it was desperate, it was his only chance.
If he gave up all hope, Jimin wasn't sure if his heart would ever fill with color again. He was afraid he would remain empty and that was his biggest fear.
+++
With the start of the second week, Jimin finally saw Taehyung again. He met him by accident in one of the coffee shops nearby, when Jimin was about to start his intense study session.
Taehyung was sitting at a table far away from him, against the wall, tapping his fingers on the keyboard, stubbornly taking notes. Jimin guessed that the boy was falling behind a lot, especially after he had spent the last week avoiding him like fire. The black-haired man was sitting alone drinking from his cup from time to time.
Though Jimin hadn't seen him in a week, he still thought Taehyung looked as good as the first time. His hair was gently pulled back under his ears, but it gave him a really nice look. Jimin liked that for some reason.
He certainly looked a lot better than Jimin, who only tried to pretend in front of everyone every day that he wasn't turning into one big mess. Jimin wondered if they were all appearances, and Taehyung actually experiences them as much as he does.
Did Taehyung really feel nothing when he rejected Jimin with his earlier behavior?
There were many options, but Jimin could no longer think of all the possibilities as to why it had happened and not otherwise. He needed an answer. Now.
He gave up his things for a moment in order to get closer to the boy on slightly unsteady legs. He hesitated for a moment, wondering if he was really ready to hear the truth. After all, what he would hear in a moment could completely change everything and turn the whole world upside down even more - even if Jimin thought that it couldn't get any worse.
Even if he wanted to turn back that second, it was already too late because Taehyung, feeling his eyes on him, lifted his head. His eyes looked up again with fear and uncertainty, and Jimin's heart beat painfully in his chest. All he dreamed about was that his soulmate would be able to look at him without that strange, painful look in his eyes. Is one sincere smile too much?
“I-I wanted to talk.” Jimin said, his voice almost barely audible as he, intimidated, reached the boy's table.
Taehyung looked at him with a little pity in his eyes, as if he knew perfectly well that what he was about to say would completely hurt Jimin.
And Jimin most likely would allow him to do so.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.” the first words his soulmate ever said to him. It was definitely not what he expected.
“Please…” he looked at him pleadingly “We have the same mark on our right wrist. We’re soul-”
“Don’t say it.” Taehyung interrupted him, and when Jimin looked down at their shared mark, all he could see was an empty space around his wrist.
Taehyung covered it with make-up and hid it.
Something inside Jimin stirs.
“So… you want to pretend that nothing happened? Without any explanation?” sadness and anger mingled in Jimin slowly creating one whole. Although he did not want to judge Taehyung in advance, it was getting harder and harder for him to understand it all when the boy gave him absolutely no chance. It wasn’t fair.
“Sorry-”
“It’s not enough!” He raised his voice slightly, but calmed down for a moment when he saw at the corner of his eye as other people at the tables began to turn their heads towards them, hearing the commotion.
“I know.” Taehyung agreed with him, but still had a hard time looking Jimin in the eye “But I just… can’t.” The boy didn't sound convincing at all, and Jimin felt like he was holding back and not telling him everything.
There were still too many unsolved matters between the lines.
“But- why? Is it me or-”
“Taehyung.”
They both turned their heads towards the person who joined them. A tall boy with big brown eyes. He had his hair tied back in a sloppy bun, and there was a smile on his face that made his face look a little bit like a bunny.
There was silence between them, and only then did the smile begin to slowly fade on the face of the newcomer when he felt the tension between them. The atmosphere was thick and heavy.
“Oh, sorry if I interrupted.”
“It’s fine. Jimin was just about to go.” Taehyung said, and although his words hurt Jimin in their own way, he was a little happy knowing the boy knew his name.
However the moment of joy didn’t last long, when he realized what Taehyung was insinuating.
“You’re-”
Asshole.
Idiot.
Stupid idiot that is my soulmate.
Person hurting me the most even though you should be the one that makes me happy.
Jimin looked at Taehyung with resignation, feeling that he would not be able to take it any longer and that soon tears would run down his cheeks. He turned on his heel and quickly walked back to his table, then in a hurry packed everything up and left.
He couldn't stay in the same room with him any longer.
He didn’t know Taehyung. The boy was a stranger to him. But even though they were both soulmates. Although they may not know each other in the earthly realm, fate in the spiritual realm has long bound them together, leaving two signs of the sun on their wrists and shivers of pleasure spreading through their bodies every time Jimin had the opportunity to look at him longer in the eyes.
However, Taehyung did not want him, and although fate was usually right, this time Jimin felt that the universe decided to play a cruel joke on him, crushing all his hopes, turning them to dust.
Taehyung never looked away from Jimin. Only when the shorter one disappeared around the corner of the cafe did he wake up from his trance.
Jungkook looked at Taehyung curiously.
“Who was that?”
Taehyung looked in the direction of Jungkook, who sat across from him.
“Noone.”he replied shortly, a firm voice, hinting to Jungkook not to pursue the subject. “What do you want to order?” he changed the subject swiftly, smiling at him. Jungkook dropped the topic fairly quickly, but he couldn't help but feel the strange sensation in the back of his head that whatever he witnessed would not end well.
+++
First meeting of eyes.
First touch.
The moment when the blonde tried to stop him from escaping with his gentle and pleasant ear voice, but also from confronting his eternal fear.
The first encounter with his soulmate was both the best and the worst that could have happened to him.
Looking at Jimin's features, his serene eyes and a painted charming smile. Taehyung was ready to watch him for hours. To gaze at the person who was destined for him by the world.
The meeting of their hands, the touch of skin against skin, was something Taehyung could not forget so far. His body clung to feel the same blissful way again when Jimin's smooth hand gently brushed his fingers.
Despite such daring desires and momentary happiness, everything was very quickly replaced by tremendous guilt. His heart felt heavy immediately, and the lump in his throat made it impossible to swallow normally.
He had to get away. As soon as possible and as far as possible from the blonde, who in an instant looked at him with hope in his eyes, suddenly looked confused, probably not understanding why Taehyung is acting this way.
However, Taehyung couldn't do that. He couldn't stay and pretend everything was fine when suddenly everything he knew was completely different.
Once upon a time, Taehyung also believed in soulmates, however it was in the early years of his childhood. Then he met them and everything changed.
Taehyung lived in a fairly large estate, so it was only a matter of time before the six of them became inseparable friends.
He, Namjoon, Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok and Jungkook.
A friendship that lasts from their youngest years, when they played together in the sandbox, until today, when they shared an apartment.
From the teenage years they blindly thought that the universe had put them in its path for a reason, and the moment when everyone had reached the age of 18 and touched, their bodies would show the same common mark.
It didn’t happend.
Even now, years later, Taehyung clearly remembered the disappointment he felt at that moment. And not only him. All six of them felt emptiness, but also some kind of injustice.
They should be soulmates.
But for some weird reason which only the universe knew, they were not the one for each other.
The mood in the group after this event was quite sad and quiet, but they managed to overcome even this hard moment for them.
They talk.
Talk a lot.
About everything and nothing - past, what’s happening here and now, and their visions of the future.
The long conversation in Seokjin's room, who had the largest room of their group, brought them relief. Still depressed that their fate had not brought them together, they comforted each other with shy smiles and patting on the back.
They hugged.Strongly and with all possible emotions that could be conveyed. It was then that they decided to become each other's platonic soulmates .
If they have not been bound together, they will do it themselves. Who will forbid them? The world could impose its own rules on them, but that didn't mean they can’t break them.
Well... in all of this, Taehyung surely had not foreseen that he would meet Jimin.
His soulmate with a very real mark, which he could now watch on his right wrist.
Taehyung was confused and scared at the same time.
The group never talked about what would happen to the six of them when one of them would find their true soulmate.
Maybe they really should have talked about this, because right now Taehyung was panicking and he felt lost in his own head.
He didn’t want to give up on Jimin, but at the same time he was afraid to abandon what he and the rest of their group had built together.
"Hey, Taehyung." Seokjin's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Everything alright?"
All six of them sat at the table eating dinner. Taehyung was so lost in his thoughts that instead of actually eating, he only fumbled with his chopsticks.
"Yes... I just get lost in my thoughts." He smiled at them, hoping it would be enough not to be a suspect.
Taehyung only forgot about the fact that everyone knew each other practically inside out, so the whole group immediately caught his sloppy humor.
The stares of the others met at the table in silent agreement, so as not to pursue the topic, hoping that possibly Taehyung would come to them himself, if he really needed support. They had known for some time now that Taehyung didn't act like himself - constantly walking around stressed or completely lost in his mind.
Only Jungkook's gaze stayed on Taehyung a little longer than the others. The situation from the coffee shop flashed through his mind, but he had no idea if his intuition was going in the right direction.
After finishing the meal, Taehyung quickly fled from sight, returning to his room to once again be alone with his thoughts. The presence of his platonic soulmates was nice, but the more he spent time with them, the more he felt like a trickster. He wasn't telling them the whole truth, and that alone made him feel guilty.
He was betraying himself, Jimin and the whole group at the same time.
However, he couldn't find the courage to face it.
That evening, just like every single one since he met Jimin, he stood in the shower resignedly, feeling emptiness in his heart as he stared at the visible sign - this time not covered by makeup or long sleeves.
As warm drops of water ran down his body, he felt as if his mark was stinging, reminding him even more of his presence on his hand and making him feel guilty again and again of how hopeless of a soulmate he was.
He felt like a big liar.
Instead of feeling proud of his soulmate mark, he felt ashamed. He didn't feel worthy to wear it after he had behaved. Not only in relation to Jimin, but also to people who were so close to him. His little family, which they have built together over the years.
The water in the shower was too hot, but Taehyung was still stubbornly standing under the stream. His skin stung, but the pain was a kind of relief for him. He felt that he deserved it, and the tears that ran down his cheeks were only the beginning of his self-hatred.