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“Did you really think I wouldn’t notice? Don’t insult me, Sirius. Something is obviously bothering you. And it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it, but then please say so, instead of lying to me and telling me you’re fine - ”
“ - I’m not lying - ”
“James saw you crying in the changing rooms after Quidditch this morning.”
That shuts Sirius up. He thought James had already left.
“Listen, Pads, you don’t have to talk to me, you can talk to James or Pete if you want, but please, just consider talking to someone. You always… I’ve seen you do this before. You bottle things up until it all eventually explodes,” Remus says, coming up to Sirius and wrapping him in a hug. “And I don’t want you to explode. I quite like you in one piece, if you hadn’t noticed.”
Sirius lets out a shaky laugh, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. Hiding his problems behind wide smiles and witty jokes might have convinced everyone else, even James for a bit, but there was never a chance with Remus.
Usually, Sirius thinks that what he and Remus have can’t be described, that even David Bowie couldn’t put it into words, into a melody. But sometimes it’s this simple - they know each other.
Sirius has always been sure that something happened on that first train ride they shared, something tying them together, setting the future in motion. Because he knew, even then. Didn’t know what to call it, how to describe what he felt when his eyes met Remus’s - but it had seemed like Remus understood him, more than was appropriate for someone he had just met.
It wasn’t perfect at the beginning, and it isn’t perfect now. It’s real - sometimes messy, sometimes difficult. But it had always been inevitable, their love, sprouting somewhere between whispered conversations on sleepless nights and truths confessed under the Invisibility cloak. To love is to trust and somewhere along the way they had decided to trust each other with everything they had - all the closely-held secrets and half-finished thoughts they’d carried within themselves for years, never thinking they would find someone to share them with.
They know each other.
So Remus is right and they both know it.
“I’m sorry. I just thought… Well I knew you’d notice something was up. But I didn’t want to… to burden you with this.” Sirius murmurs against Remus’s neck.
“You’re not a burden. I want to know what’s up. I want to help you.”
“Yeah, I know, I guess I just…”
“Needed a reminder?” Remus tangles his hand in Sirius’s hair and kisses his forehead. “Completely okay, love. Let’s go to dinner, alright? And then, if you’re feeling up for it, we can talk.”
Sirius stays still for a few seconds, taking deep breaths. He doesn’t want to cry, not now. He thinks if he started crying now he wouldn’t be able to stop.
“I don't… I want to eat dinner, but I’m not really in the mood for the Great Hall,” Sirius admits. “Maybe we can go to the kitchens instead?”
“Of course.”
They stay there for a few minutes more, Sirius truly relaxing for the first time in days, and Remus holding Sirius up.
He spent eleven years in his house dreaming of meeting someone like Remus, but not allowing himself to hope. He wonders if their love was written in the stars all along. Sounds cheesy, he knows, but it feels true right now.
He isn’t sure what to say.
“I love you so much, Moons.”
And Sirius hopes Remus knows what he means by that. How much he means.
“Love you too, babe.”
They both know.