Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tommy couldn’t remember the first few minutes of his reawakening. The only thing he could recall was a wave of blind panic and leaves, curling around him, welcoming him.

When he blinked out of the daze, there were bodies. There were cracks in the floor, moss crawling through, overtaking everything in the room. Vines crawled over the walls, wrapped around people, strangling them.

No one was breathing except him.

After that, it was a daze. He registered white walls and panting, running through the halls of the facility, bare feet slapping against tile. Dimly, he realized he was wearing white scrubs, and Ranboo’s stone was no longer around his neck.

I think I’ll be taking this.

Part of him sobbed. The other part was grateful—whatever pain his body had felt while he was under, whatever pain he would experience now that he was awake, Ranboo wouldn’t be able to feel.

Somehow, he reached the doors of the facility. He burst through like a starving animal, and when his feet touched the grass, he nearly collapsed. He forced himself to keep going, though. He could cry when he was a safe distance away from Dream.

I’m going to empty you.

He ran.

A shell, filled to the brim with magic.

He ran, tears slipped down his cheeks.

I’ll send you after your friends.

He ran and ran and ran until he couldn’t anymore, until his feet were nearly bleeding and his breath was coming in short, pained gasps. 

He collapsed at the edge of the forest, within the first line of trees. He sobbed, shuddering, his fingers curling into the grass beneath him. His breath was short, quick, he couldn’t force it to be normal.

The earth cooed beneath him, leaves brushing along his mind, the grass curling up to embrace him. Tommy cried, rolling onto his back. He felt wild, broken. His brain wasn’t working right, he felt like an animal, hellbent on survival.

Slowly, he caught his breath. Slowly, he came back to himself. Slowly, the wild panic, the enraged animal inside him, calmed, and he sat up. He was covered in leaves and grass, but he didn’t care. Anything to cover up the scrubs, to distract him from what had just happened.

How long had he been out? How long had he been trapped in his own mind, fighting to return, to stay himself? He couldn’t even remember what he’d dreamed of, but he knew it had been sweet. Nice.

And then some part of him had realized what was happening, and the sweetness was gone.

Tommy took a breath. “Okay,” he whispered. His voice was shaky. He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. As he did, the earth pulsed reassuringly beneath him. “Okay,” he said again, stronger this time.

Tubbo and Ranboo. He needed to find them, to apologize, to warn them of what Dream was planning, what he would do if he ever caught them. Tommy had been protected, but he wasn’t sure if the earth could do it again. And he didn’t know if Tubbo and Ranboo would be as lucky.

But before he could focus on them, he needed to find somewhere safe. And that meant getting much further away from the facility than he currently was. It also meant getting food and water, and a place to sleep at night.

Tommy sighed, shaking out his hands as he stood. He still felt wobbly and unsure, but he was much steadier now than he’d been when he woke up. His brain had reoriented itself, and although his first step was a stumble, he walked with a straight back and his arms at his sides.

He wasn’t sure where he was going, exactly. He just knew he needed to get as far away from the facility as possible, and he needed to go deeper into the forest. So that’s where he went, collecting the bits of himself he hadn’t been able to catch while running.

As he went, he reached into the earth, letting it flow through him and grow, in that casual, leisurely way he had only allowed when he was younger. Before the facility, before Dream. Back then, he’d been carefree. His magic had been wild and untamed, and he thought maybe his family had been afraid, but he wasn’t, so it didn’t matter. He’d thought the earth beautiful, his creations lovely. The vines on the house’s walls, the chaotic plants strewn throughout the rooms, the canopy of leaves and bark that hung over his own room—all of it had been his and the earth’s, shared just between them.

He hadn’t been able to create like that in so long. Even now, he knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He’d just woken up from horrors no one should have to experience, and he wanted to indulge.

He wanted to know he was still alive, still him.

So flowers sprung up beneath his feet and vines crawled wherever his hands touched, and leaves reached down to brush his forehead, and he smiled at all of it. Cried at all of it.

He could almost— almost— feel the earth’s heart beating alongside his, the way it had before the facility.

He came across a berry bush and took a handful, the dark juices staining his hand. They were sweet on his tongue, and as soon as he swallowed them, he realized how hungry he was. Thankfully, he kept finding berry bushes.

Thanks, he thought to the earth, slightly amused. The trees above him rustled back.

Night fell, and Tommy realized he’d been walking for hours. As soon as he realized this, his feet began to throb, and he collapsed under the canopy of trees. He lay down with the sun, watching the moon and stars rise. He grew a bed of moss beneath himself to be comfortable, and thanked whatever forces were watching him that it was warm that night.

But he still felt cold. It was nighttime, Ranboo and Tubbo should have been there. Tubbo should have been leaning against them both, snoring softly. Ranboo should have been sitting next to Tommy, playing gently with Tubbo’s hair, his eyes glowing a soft silver as little white lights bobbed around them. The stars should have been shining bright, the moon calling a soft greeting to her mage. The sun should have been saying goodnight to his.

Instead it was only Tommy, alone beneath the vast night sky. Alone without even Ranboo’s stone to connect him to them, to remind him that they were still out there somewhere, still safe.

Tommy curled on his side and closed his eyes, trying to sleep.

When he did, his dreams were fitful and panicked, full of melting walls and backs turned on him.

Chapter Text

Being alone was awful, Tommy decided. Besides the crushing weight that loneliness brought with it, it was boring. He had no one to talk to besides the earth, which was not a great conversationalist. Also, he was getting really fucking tired of berries (sorry, earth).

His days were monotonous, repetitive. He’d wake up, eat a wonderful breakfast of berries, begin walking, walk for eight hours, eat some more berries, walk for a few more hours, eat even more berries, watch the sunset and moonrise and cry, and fall into a fitful, nightmarish sleep. Sometimes, he’d see a flash of lime green in the corner of his eye and panic before he realized it was just a particularly vibrant plant, or maybe a bird or butterfly.

The woods were endless. Every time he thought he was getting close to the edge, there was another mile of trees stretching out before him. He wasn’t sure if he was lost or not—his only goal had been to get away from the facility, and now he had no idea what to do. He didn’t know how to find Tubbo and Ranboo—he’d tried asking the earth, but she had no answer for him. He couldn’t speak to the moon or the sun, and even if some magical creature could have the answer for him, he had no idea how to find one. The hidden pockets of magic across the world were impossible to find by humans, even humans like him. Tommy hoped he’d stumble across one, even if just to relieve himself of this terrible aloneness, but he never did.

It was exhausting, walking aimlessly each and every day, fueled by nothing but berries. He felt himself get more and more sluggish with each passing hour. The fatigue set in quickly, and his feet dragged. His eyelids were heavy and his stomach was constantly rumbling. He felt weak, he tired too quickly.

He knew he couldn’t go on like this much longer.

One day, as he was walking—much slower now than he’d been before—he happened to look up and see the sun. Not just sunlit leaves, like the endless green he’d been seeing since he escaped, but the actual sun.

The trees were getting thinner. He almost collapsed at the realization.

If he could get out of the woods, he could figure out where he was. Maybe he’d find a town or a city— some kind of civilization. Maybe he’d get a real meal, or at least steal something more filling than berries. He’d see other people for the first time in who knew how long. A place to sleep that wasn’t the ground.

Well. He frowned. Maybe not that last one. He actually couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept in a real bed. Probably before the facility. But maybe he’d find some kind of cushioning, at least. Like cardboard boxes or an old, moldy blanket someone threw out.

Ugh.

Even as awful as that sounded, it still excited Tommy, desperate as he was. He began to walk faster, stomach growling in protest, and soon even more sunlight was spilling onto him, warming his skin, and he could see the edge of the trees, and something vast and beautiful beyond it, and—

“Hello?”

Tommy whirled, hands already coming up to summon vines. His weakened body screamed at the speed at which he turned, but he didn’t care—his brain was on autopilot, screaming danger, danger, danger, protect yourself.

“Hello?” Came the voice again, closer now, and Tommy blinked as someone stepped out from between two trees. They were tall, broad, with tanned skin and reading glasses perched on a squared nose, and long pink hair tumbling around their shoulders—

Oh shit.

Tommy backed away, lowering his hands. He knew that pink hair, he knew that face, he knew those glasses even though it had been seven years.

Technoblade stared at him. “Uh. Hi?”

Tommy swallowed. He couldn’t stop looking. His brain, which before had been panicking, now seemed frozen in shock. This was his brother. His brother who he’d never thought he’d see again. He’d never wanted to see again. His brother who had betrayed him, who had stood by while Dream took him away, while Phil let him disappear.

It had been seven years, and Tommy wanted to claw Techno’s eyes out for it.

Techno was still looking at him. “Um. Hello? Do you speak? Are you in danger? Also, who are you and why the hell are you here?”

Tommy blinked. What—

Did Techno not recognize him? Surely he hadn’t changed that much. Yeah, puberty was a bitch, but his face was the same. At least, it had been the last time he’d looked.

“You gonna answer me?” Techno asked slowly. Damn, he really had not improved socially since Tommy had last seen him.

Tommy wanted to refuse to open his mouth. He wanted to, he knew he should, he knew nothing good would come of interacting with his bastard family. But his mouth disagreed, apparently, because it opened and out came, “Fuck you.”

Techno blinked. “Cool. Awesome. There’s a random kid in the woods and he likes to swear. This is great.”

Tommy snarled, stepping forward. “I am not random, you fucking bastard! Fucking bitch boy with your stupid fucking hair, you haven’t gotten any better have you, fucking shit—”

“Hold on.” Techno took a step forward too, eyes narrowed. “I… do I know you?”

Tommy scoffed, throwing up his hands. “Of course you know me, shithead! What, do I have to do some pretty magic show for you, is that what you’ll recognize? No, of course it is, all anyone ever cares about is the magic, fucking pieces of shit—”

“Magic?” Techno interrupted, which was fucking rude of him, but then it didn’t matter because his whole demeanor changed—softened, relaxed, and he loosened like he was a puppet whose strings had been cut. “Tommy?”

“Yes!” Tommy shouted. “Jesus Christ, did it really take you that long?”

“Tommy—” Techno took another step forward, but this time Tommy stepped back, suddenly cowed by the awfully tender look in his brother’s eyes. “Tommy, what are you doing here? What—what happened? I—we’ve seen you in the news, what’s been going on?”

“A fucking mess, that’s what,” Tommy muttered, shoulders hunched now, glaring up at Techno through his bangs. He flinched when Techno came closer. “Don’t touch me, bitch.”

Techno stopped, but his fists were clenching and unclenching at his sides—confusion, almost anger. “I don’t understand. What are you doing back here?”

Tommy looked behind himself and saw the edge of the treeline, and beyond it—oh. The field where he’d played as a kid. Before everything. Before it all went wrong.

He forced himself to ignore it. “Being free, what’s it look like?” 

“It looks like you’re starving,” Techno whispered. He swallowed. “Look, Tommy—come home, we’ll get you some food and water and a bed, and—and you can tell us what happened, okay?”

Tommy shook his head. “No. No fucking way. You guys don’t get to see me. I don’t want to come home.”

Techno looked crushed, and Tommy shoved down the guilt in his gut. “Please, Tommy? Wilbur will be excited to see you.”

Tommy scoffed. “No he fucking won’t. None of you will be. You’ll just send me back, send me back there, and I can’t go back, I can’t—”

“Okay,” Techno said, and he sounded like he was placating an animal. He held out his hands. “Okay, Tommy. Just—just come home, take what you need, okay?”

He took a step forward, and Tommy scrambled back, opening his mouth in protest, but before he could get a sound out, a wave of nausea washed over him and he stumbled, gasping.

There were hands on him before he registered what happened, lowering him to the ground, and Techno’s face swam in his suddenly-hazy vision. “Jesus, Tommy, what’s going on?”

Tommy pushed at him, but he suddenly felt very weak. Perhaps the fatigue was taking over, killing him. “No… f…f’ck you…”

A sigh, and then arms were scooping him up. “I’m taking you home. I’m getting you some food, alright?”

Tommy whined, low in his throat. “No…”

Another sigh. A quiet, breathy voice. “What happened to you, kid?”

A slight jostle as Techno began to move. 

Tommy wanted to scream.

Chapter Text

The house was just as Tommy remembered it—cozy, quiet, comfortable. There were rugs on every floor, pillows on every chair and couch, a flatscreen mounted on the wall in the living room. The walls were wooden, the windows wide open to let the summer air in. Every surface was messy in a pleasant way—the mess told him the house was lived in, that the people in it loved one another.

But not him. Never him.

Techno sat him at the table and got to work heating up some leftover soup from the fridge. He kept sending Tommy furtive glances. Tommy ignored them, although that was more to do with the fact that he was about to pass out than willful ignorance.

He stared at the walls, blinking periodic black dots out of his vision. There were pictures hung up around the kitchen—family photos depicting milestones, happy memories. There was a picture of Techno, Wilbur, and Phil—all a little older than when Tommy had last seen them—at the zoo, and a picture of Wilbur and Techno standing together, holding diplomas. There was Wilbur behind a microphone at some bar, and Phil glancing up from his computer at the dining table, like he’d been caught in the middle of his work. Techno in a fencing uniform, Wilbur with a girl with long, curly red hair, Phil with green paint smeared on his nose, Techno planting something in the field outside, Wilbur on the branches of a tree, Phil between them both, all three wearing suits—Wilbur, Phil, Techno, Wilbur, Phil, Techno.

There were only three pictures with Tommy. One was the picture of him as a baby, one was the picture of him on Techno’s shoulders, one was the picture of him proudly holding his first lost tooth up for the camera to see.

He’d lost all the others in the facility.

He hadn’t been here. He wasn’t here, in this family.

This place wasn’t his.

He blinked back tears along with the spots.

A bowl slammed onto the table in front of him, startling him out of his thoughts. He stared at it as Techno sat down next to him. “Eat.”

Tommy glanced at him, debating refusing, just on principle. But then the smell of the soup wafted over to him, and…

Well, he was hungrier than he’d thought.

He forced himself to eat slowly—he knew by now that eating too much, too fast when you’d barely eaten anything for days was bad—but it was unfairly good. He told himself the taste was just his hunger talking, and not Phil’s excellent cooking.

Techno was staring at him, and Tommy could feel it. “What?” He demanded.

Techno blinked and shook his head. “I just… how’d you get here?”

Tommy scooped some more broth into his mouth. “Walked,” he said, barely keeping the soup behind his lips.

Techno raised his eyebrows, clearly disbelieving. “From where?”

Tommy looked at him. Then he opted to stay silent. He was not getting into that with his estranged bitch brother.

Techno sighed. “Okay… where are you going?”

Now, that one he could answer. “To find my friends.”

“The other two mages.”

Tommy nodded. When he looked up, he saw a kind of sadness in Techno’s eyes. “Do you know where they are?”

Tommy snorted. “If I knew that, I wouldn’t fucking be here, would I?”

“Well, we can help you find them, if you want,” Techno said, but his voice wavered. Like he was scared. Or sad.

Tommy scoffed. “You think I want your help? Your pity? No thanks, bitch.”

“Tommy…” Techno sighed. “Why didn’t you come back? You haven’t been with Dream for two years, why didn’t you come back home?”

And that—

Tommy pushed back his chair, standing up as fast as he could. “This is not my home,” he hissed. “You have no right to insinuate that you are still my fucking brother, Technoblade. Fuck off.”

Techno’s face shattered.  He reached out with a trembling hand, standing as well. “Tom—”

Tommy heard an engine outside. He whirled towards the living room window and saw a car parked out front, and the doors were opening, and two people stepped out—

“Oh, hell no,” Tommy muttered. He whirled towards Techno, who stood frozen at the table. “Let me go.”

“I—” Techno looked lost. Ten-year-old Tommy never would’ve described him as lost. “They’ll want to see you…”

“Well, I don’t want to see them,” Tommy snarled. “I want my friends, and they’re not here, so I’m leaving. Bye.”

Techno sucked in a shallow, shuddering breath. He looked so broken, and Tommy shoved down the guilt rising in his gut. He wouldn’t feel sorry for hurting Techno, not when Techno had hurt him so much worse.

“Tommy, please—”

“No.” Tommy turned to go out the back door, but before he could—

“Tommy?”

The door had opened. He whirled to see Wilbur and Phil standing there, equally shocked looks on their faces.

“Tommy?” Phil whispered. His face broke into a smile. “Is that you?”

Chapter Text

“Tommy?” God, that voice. Tommy used to love that voice. Now it just haunted him.

Phil walked forward, delighted—fucking delighted, after what he did—surprise lighting his features. “What—what are you doing here, mate? How are you?”

Tommy felt his cheeks grow hot and prickly in that way they did when he was embarrassed or furious. His eyes burned with angry, fire-bright tears.

Phil seemed to miss the anger, because his smile turned placating. “Hey, it’s okay, we missed you too. Sorry we didn’t visit, but—“

Tommy stumbled backwards, barely missing the table behind him, reeling in his fury. “Fuck you,” he hissed. “No— fuck you! You think you can just—after seven fucking years, seven years of—of fucking pain, and torture, you think you can just come back into my life? Don’t fucking hit me with that bullshit, I know you didn’t miss me, you were just dying to get rid of me, I—I can’t fucking believe you!”

Phil’s smile disappeared, and next to him, Wilbur began to look mildly uncomfortable. Tommy didn’t look at his— well, the man who was once his favorite brother.

“Tommy, what…” Phil’s eyes searched his face, and Tommy hated how similar they looked. It made him want to vomit. “What are you talking about? Of course we missed you. I mean—I guess seven years is a long time, but—it was helping you, wasn’t it?”

“Helping—“ Everything went blank in Tommy’s mind. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t feel the earth rumbling beneath his feet for a moment.

Then it all came rushing back to him, and he exploded.

“I was being fucking tortured!” He screamed, and Phil stepped back at the force of his anger. “I—he fucking destroyed me! D’you know, I can’t feel the fucking heart of the earth anymore? It’s too fucking far away! I—for five years, I was poked, and prodded, and sat under blinding lights and machines for fucking hours. Not to mention the whole shitshow that just happened! Don’t fucking tell me that helped me. Don’t tell me it was for my benefit,” he spat. “This is your fucking fault, and I hate you.” He glanced at Wilbur and Techno, who were now standing together, staring at him. He didn’t know when Techno had moved, but now he was standing there, clutching Wilbur’s hand like it could fix their mistakes. “All of you.”

Phil’s gaze searched his face—probably looking for any sign of deception. Tommy just glared at him.

“Tommy…” his once-father whispered after a moment, looking pained. Guilty. Tommy’s hands balled into fists at the sight. “Tommy, I didn’t know. I promise I didn’t know. I never would’ve—if I’d known, you know I never would’ve sent you, right?”

“No,” Tommy said shortly. “No, I don’t know that.” He turned away, taking in the kitchen, the dining room, the living room behind him, so welcoming and hateful. So horribly necessary, he was realizing, if he wanted to live long enough to find Ranboo and Tubbo. It made him livid, but the soup Techno had given him was already returning strength to his body. “I’m gonna stay here until I can find my friends— my real family. If any of you try to talk to me, I’ll fucking strangle you. Y’know, with my magic vines that you hate.”

Wilbur spoke for the first time, calling after him. “Tommy, we don’t…”

But Tommy wasn’t listening. This wasn’t his family anymore. These were just some unpleasant roommates for the time being.

He hoped he could find Tubbo and Ranboo soon.

Phil gave him a guest bedroom. Even though Tommy’s room hadn’t been cleared out in the last seven years and was entirely available, all of them knew that Tommy might die if he had to see that bedroom again. And although Tommy hated it, although he wished he could make use of his promise to Technoblade and fuck off into the wilderness, he was quietly grateful for the bed. And the food. Especially the food.

Unfortunately, even in the guest bedroom, Tommy couldn’t sleep. His mind still whirled with anger, relief, crushing sadness.

He couldn’t do this. Couldn’t feel this.

He needed the earth.

He went outside, his bare feet sinking into the cold grass. Up above, the moon shone full and silver, painting everything in a beautiful, white-blue glow. Tommy looked up at it. It pulsed, and he imagined it was Ranboo, wiping his tears away. He imagined Tubbo, snoring against his chest as his golden energy seeped into Ranboo’s hands, strengthening his power for the night.

Tommy sniffed, tears cold on his cheeks. “They’re okay, right?” He whispered, to the moon, the earth, to no one. “You’d tell me if they weren’t?”

All he received in answer was a light wind ruffling his hair.

He heard a noise coming from the forest. With nothing better to do, he crept closer. As he did, he saw a bright light shining from deep within.

He heard a high-pitched chattering from somewhere near his elbow. Looking down, he saw a small, sharp-eyed pixie fluttering there, chirping at him excitedly.

“Oh,” he said softly. “Hello. Sorry if I’m—disturbing your territory, or whatever.”

The pixie shook their head, becoming a blur in the air. They fluttered down and tugged at his finger, chattering again.

Follow, they seemed to be saying. Follow.

“You want me to follow you?” He asked. At that, the pixie became impossibly more excited, squealing and doing little loops in midair. Tommy couldn’t help a little chuckle. “Alright.”

He followed them, a little ways into the woods. He wasn’t worried. The fair folk liked him, usually. He didn’t have to worry about tricks and bargains like other humans.

The pixie led him to a moonlit clearing, filled with fireflies and ancient, wise trees, like a scene out of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Tommy smiled, feeling a little more at ease here. Here were the people who understood him. Here were the creatures made of the same thing he was.

There were people in the clearing, dancing. Fairies and elves and little pixies. The one who’d led him here zipped off into the fairy circle, disappearing into the throng. One of the taller fae spotted him and smiled, her dark hair swaying behind her as she turned to him, holding out a hand. Come dance, ferin.

So Tommy did, taking her hand and letting himself be pulled into the thrum of magic. He forgot, just for a blessed, beautiful moment, about what he had to face outside of the trees.

(Later, when Phil came rushing outside, worry coursing through his veins, he saw Tommy sleeping at the edge of the forest, looking utterly peaceful. Calm. Almost happy. There were clovers woven through his hair, the green nestled in the blonde like leaves in the sun. He looked like a sleeping prince.

And Phil wondered how he ever could have let this go.)

Chapter Text

Tommy slouched at the kitchen table that morning, picking absently at the eggs Phil had made him. He’d taken the clovers out of his hair, remembering with piercing clarity the annoyance his family had shared when he’d brought too many plants in the house.

And they thought they could convince him he was wanted.

Wilbur cleared his throat. Tommy glared at him through his bangs. Wilbur swallowed again. “Um, so… you wanted to look for your friends, right?”

Tommy let out a breath, opening his mouth to speak, but his anger, his hate and frustration and fear, clogged up his throat and he ended up closing it again.

Techno wasn’t having it, apparently, because he said flatly, “I told you we can help you, Tommy. I doubt you have a lot of knowledge on recent events.”

Tommy scoffed, and his throat became unclogged. “I know all I need to know, bitch.”

“Right, but considering the news has been all over the fact that one of the Three Magi is missing, I’d say you missed a bit.”

Tommy whipped around to face him, forgetting about his anger for a moment. “There’s been news?”

“Yeah, mate,” Phil chimed in, coming to sit at the table with his own plate. “Your friends have been spotted all over. I think they were at a hospital at one point.”

So Ranboo had gotten help. Tommy let out a soft breath, one he’d probably been holding since he first woke up.

“Where are they now?” He asked.

Techno shrugged. “News isn’t that fast, kid. It’ll be at least a day before we know where they were today.”

Tommy groaned. “That’s too long, I need to know now.”

“Patience is a virtue, Toms—” Wilbur started.

“Don’t call me that,” Tommy snarled. That wasn’t Wilbur’s name anymore. That was Tubbo’s and Ranboo’s.

Wilbur blinked, looking a little hurt. Tommy tried not to feel guilty. “Um—s-sorry, Tommy. But we can’t exactly get you real-time news about your buddies if we don’t have access to them.”

“That’s why you’re useless to me,” Tommy grumbled. “But…”

He frowned. Blinked. A memory came unbidden to him, clear as a blue sky. A tinkling laugh, a market, loud people around him, but then a tiny hand on his finger, pulling him away, pulling him to the quiet. To the river.

“Is that naiad colony still in the river?” He asked. “In town.”

There was silence as they thought. Then, Phil said slowly, “I think so, yes. Why?”

“They’ll have real-time news,” Tommy said, a little exasperatedly. Couldn’t they guess?

More silence. Then, “I’m going to the market today,” Techno said. “I can take you with me, we can stop by the river in town.”

Tommy grimaced. “I can walk, thanks.”

Wilbur scoffed. “Ten miles?”

“I’ve walked farther for longer.”

That, apparently, was not the right thing to say, because the other three looked pained.

“We can take Dad’s truck,” Techno added, a little placatingly. Tommy bristled. “I know you liked that truck.”

Tommy wanted to refuse, to protest, but… the idea of walking ten miles on a malnourished stomach was not appealing. And he did like Da— Phil’s truck.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “When can we go?”

“When you finish your breakfast,” Phil said firmly, in his dad voice.

Tommy groaned, but picked up his fork and began shoveling eggs into his mouth.

The truck ride was uneventful. Tommy outright refused to talk to Techno, instead sitting with his arms crossed, glaring out over the scenery. Which he hadn’t missed. At all. It was not beautiful, and it did not feel like home. Nope. Tommy had moved on from this. Home is where the heart is, right? Well, his heart was with Tubbo and Ranboo, and it wouldn’t move. This wasn’t—

Was that a cow? He loved cows!

When they got to the town, Techno parked the car by the river and told Tommy to “do his thing.” Whatever that meant. Meanwhile, Techno walked down to the market at the center of town, leaving a warning for Tommy not to stray too far. After all, it was dangerous for one of the last three existing mages to be alone.

I won’t be alone, Tommy thought as he walked down to the water’s edge and knelt in the grass. I have friends here.

He let his hand trail through the water, relishing in the cool, clean feeling on his fingers. And he waited.

After a moment, there was movement in the corner of his vision, and as it got closer he saw a figure swimming towards him. It was the figure of a woman, pale-skinned and lithe. Her pink hair waved about her head as she swam, and too-wide lavender eyes stared up at him from a sharp, laughing face.

Hello, ferin, she said as she came closer.

“Hey, Niki,” Tommy said, smiling a little.

A hand tipped with sharp nails reached out of the water and touched his cheek. You have been gone a long time.

Tommy felt his lip tremble. He tried and failed to force it to stop. “Y-yeah.”

A tear fell from his eye, and Niki wiped it away. Do not cry, she said. You are back now. The earth still loves you. What could be wrong?

Tommy sniffed. “Everything.” He wiped his nose, accidentally jostling her arm. She simply pulled it back, watching him. “D-do… do you know where they are? My friends?”

Niki tilted her head as if she were listening to something. Yes, she said finally. The waters say they are close.

But all water systems were connected, so that didn’t say much. Tommy frowned, sniffling again. “Can I… is it possible for me to go find them?”

Niki tilted her head again. Yes, she said. Then her lips stretched into a sharp, toothy smile. But I do not advise it.

Tommy jerked back. “Why not?”

You will only be hurt, Niki told him, caressing his cheek again. But if you stay… they will be returned to you. You only have to wait, ferin. Like the trees and the water, yes?

“I suppose,” Tommy murmured, biting his lip. “But…” What if I can’t wait?

Niki laughed, as if she’d heard the question. You are made like me. Like us. The trees grow in you, they are you and you are them. They have patience and so do you, yes?

Patience is a virtue, said Wilbur’s voice in his head. Tommy sighed. “Yeah.”

Niki’s hand slipped down to hold his. Soon, ferin. Soon.  

Then she slipped into the water and was gone.

Tommy sighed, wiping the last of the tears and river water away from his face. Then he stood and went back to the truck to wait.

Chapter Text

Despite Niki’s reassurance, patience was not, in fact, one of Tommy’s virtues. After a day of sitting in the house, trying to avoid his ex-family’s numerous attempts to talk to him, he went outside and set up camp. “Camp”, of course, being a bed of flowers that he could sit or lay down in and watch the surrounding area for any sign of Tubbo and Ranboo. He only ever went inside for food and water, and spent most of his time watching or talking to the earth, asking if she’d seen anything. She never had an answer for him, but he could feel her humming beneath him, a small comfort in all this mess.

It was good. It wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t what he wanted, but it was good. He was content, at least.

But of course, it couldn’t last forever.

One night, when Tommy was sitting out under a clear sky, a light breeze wafting around him and tousling his hair, he heard the  front door of the house open in the distance, and then the soft crunch of footsteps behind him.

He barely held in his groan when Wilbur sat down beside him.

It was silent for a moment, and then Wilbur spoke softly. “What do you do out here all the time?”

“Wait,” Tommy said. “Watch.”

“For your friends.”

He nodded.

A soft sigh. Then, “Tommy, what happened? At the facility.”

Tommy pulled his knees up to his chest, pointedly not looking at Wilbur. “I told you. Got fuckin’ tortured.”

“I-I know, I mean—” Wilbur let out a breath, then looked over at him. Tommy stared directly between his knees at the flowers beneath him. “You said something just happened. Before you came here. What was it?”

Tommy hesitated. Should he…

No. It was their fault it had happened in the first place. Their fault that Dream even knew about him.

He scoffed. “Nothing you need to know about.”

“Yes, but I want to,” Wilbur insisted. There was a shift as he turned to fully face Tommy. “Tommy, I—I missed you so much, and I don’t know what I did to make you hate me, but I want to fix it, I want—” he stopped, and when he spoke again, his voice was much quieter. “I just want my little brother back.”

Tommy glanced at him, then looked away. “I’m not your little brother. Not anymore.” 

It was supposed to be hateful. Angry. Instead it was just sad.

“Why not?” Wilbur asked.

“Because you left me with him,” Tommy said, and was horrified to hear his voice shake and feel his eyes burn. “You—you let him take me away, and I—I trusted you, Wilbur. I thought you could fix everything, and you didn’t, and—and he fucking broke me, and he wants—he just wants my magic and he wouldn’t know about it unless Da—Phil had told him, and—and it’s your fault, okay? It’s just your fault.”

There was silence. Only the sound of their breathing in the night air, which…

Well, Wilbur’s was starting to sound a bit strange. And when Tommy looked over, he was shocked to see fat tears rolling down Wilbur’s cheeks. His lips trembled, and his chest hitched as he fought to breathe normally.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered finally. “I’m so sorry, Tommy.”

Tommy turned away, glaring into the distance, trying not to feel…something other than anger and hate. “Whatever.”

“No—” and then Wilbur was grabbing his hands, and Tommy looked up in surprise, accidentally meeting Wilbur’s eyes. “No, Tommy—I’m sorry. And it’s fine if you don’t believe me, but you’re right, we shouldn’t have sent you away, we should’ve just—just taught you responsibility and shit like any other family does for their kids, but we were so scared, we didn’t know what to do, and Dream—he seemed so sure, Tommy. We thought he would help you better than we could, but I—I should’ve been a better brother and kept you at home, I should’ve…”

He kept going, but Tommy stopped listening. That… that didn’t feel right. Wilbur was affirming his beliefs, but it didn’t feel… true.

Wilbur and Techno had been barely teenagers. And they and Phil had been tricked by Dream, manipulated into giving Tommy up, according to what they’d been saying.

Suddenly, Tommy couldn’t stop the wave of guilt he’d been keeping back. As he listened to Wilbur cry, he couldn’t stop the crushing shame.

He didn’t say anything. He didn’t acknowledge when Wilbur got up and left.

But the next morning, he moved back into the house. And when Wilbur found a pot of budding purple hyacinths in his room, Tommy didn’t acknowledge, or deny, the grateful look sent his way.

Chapter Text

Techno walked into the kitchen one morning to see Tommy rummaging through the cabinets for some cereal. “Hey, kid,” he said, casually. Like the past seven years hadn’t happened. Like Tommy hadn’t been camping out in the field outside for days, trying to pretend his family wasn’t there.

“Hi,” Tommy said, casually. Like Techno wasn’t still this invincible figure in his mind. Like Tommy could still trust anything about this. About himself.

“Whatcha doing?”

“Looking for fucking Corn Flakes.”

“We don’t have those. You were the only one that liked them. We buy Cheerios now.”

“Fucking heathens.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard.” Techno sat down at the table. “Any closer to finding your friends?”

Tommy huffed, closing the last cabinet door and plopping down across from Techno. “Niki told me to be patient.”

Techno tilted his head. “Who’s Niki?”

“The naiad in the river.” Why was he doing this why was he telling Techno these things what was wrong with him— “I went to talk with her that day at the market. She said to wait for them to come to me.”

Techno looked at him for a long moment. “You’re not a very patient guy, are you?”

It stung for a moment, how little Techno knew about him. Tommy forced it down and shook his head.

Another moment of silence. Then, “Come with me.”

Slowly, Tommy stood, eyeing Techno warily. Techno went to the door and stood, watching him back. Finally, Tommy followed him.

They went outside, out to the back of the house. There, Tommy noticed for the first time, was a small patch of tilled earth, surrounded by a gate to separate it from the rest of the field. It was just dirt right now, but Tommy could feel the beginnings of life beneath the soil. It was small, precious. Pure. It wouldn’t be corrupted like so much of the earth was, not yet.

He could see the glint of metal tools left lying across the small farm, a wheelbarrow nearby with a shovel and some gloves sitting in it.

“What is this?” he asked.

“I used to be impatient, too,” Techno said in lieu of an answer, walking over and sitting on the fence around the farm. “So I started growing my own food. It’s mostly potatoes, but I’ve also got carrots and tomatoes. Some squash, too. Farming kinda forces you to stop and wait for things to happen. There’s no way for me to speed up the process, so I have to let it happen by itself.”

“I mean…” Tommy walked over and peered into the farm. “I could speed it up for you.”

Techno grinned at him. “Yeah, but that’d be missing the point, wouldn’t it?”

He looked relaxed here. In his element. He’d gotten to be a big guy, and Tommy knew Techno could probably crush him without even trying, but he figured maybe gentle souls came in all shapes and sizes.

Tommy sat next to him and looked at the farm. There was a slight breeze, and it rustled his hair. He could feel the earth murmuring beneath him, cradling the new plants, nurturing them. Everything was quiet, but a nice kind of quiet. Slow, timeless. The kind of quiet people wanted when they talked about living alone in the woods.

After a while, Techno drew in a heavy breath. “Wilbur told me you gave him flowers,” he said. It was an open thing—an invitation.

Tommy curled his arms around himself. “Yeah,” he said.

He felt Techno’s eyes on him. “Why are you staying?” His brother asked. “You made it pretty clear to me that you hate us. You don’t have to be here. There’s the town, you could stay there.”

He was still so open. So nonjudgemental. It left Tommy feeling untethered.

He looked down at the dirt. “I…”

He wanted to say he didn’t know. That he did hate his family, that he was only staying because of the convenience. And because Niki had told him to.

But that wasn’t the truth, was it?

And Tommy had gotten tired of lies a long time ago.

So he sighed. “Because I have to. Because you’re all I’ve got, and I’m gonna have to face you guys eventually, right? When all this shit’s over? So why not do it now, while I can?”

A slight shift, a release of breath. “I loved your magic, you know.”

Tommy looked up, and met Techno’s gaze. “Really?”

Techno smiled—soft, reassuring. “Yeah. Right out of the womb, you were a wild little shit. Me and Wilbur could tell there was something different about you. You were just… different from other kids. And then you started growing vines and flowers and…I don’t know, it was beautiful.”

Techno had never been good at expressing his emotions, or using words. That was Wilbur’s thing. Techno always got embarrassed—he’d trail off in the middle of a sentence, or look away, or use words with rough edges and grunts.

There was none of that here. Tommy didn’t know what that meant.

“This isn’t an excuse,” Techno continued, voice going softer, “but it was different for Dad. Mom left after she had you, so he was a single father raising three crazy kids, one of which was a mage, which is practically unheard of anymore. He was scared he’d mess up. And Dream—well, he made it sound like he was an expert. Like he knew what he was doing. Dad sent you to him because he thought Dream would help you better than he could. And Wilbur and I agreed because we didn’t know any better. We were barely teenagers, so Dad insisted that we didn’t need to help raise you. He said he was fine on his own.” Techno sighed. “He wasn’t, but what were we supposed to do?”

Tommy looked back down. “It was still shitty of him to send me away.”

“Okay.” Nothing but acceptance. Like Techno knew Tommy wasn’t going to back down from this, not without a valid reason. 

Techno looked at his farm, then back at Tommy. “For what it’s worth, I missed you.”

It was silent for a moment. The wind rustled, the earth hummed.

And then, quietly, from the depths of Tommy’s soul, “I missed you too.”