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just Harry @thechosenone
can the owner of this biologically enhanced snake please come forward?
[Attached is a blurry picture of a snake with the tip of its tail wrapped around a steering wheel.]
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Please I’m not joking if you own what somehow is a massive venomous python and live near the leaky cauldron pub please please dm me
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
To all the people replying to tell me pythons are not venomous: yeah no shit sherlock.
Obviously there is a reason im in disbelief and afraid.
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
I know it’s venomous because it flashing its -literaly dripping with venom- fangs at me. Please you are all focusing on the wrong part of this entire issue
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Stop asking for pictures of her fangs!! This is about finding her owner!
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Obviously she has an owner theres a bloody knitted little hat on her head.
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Listen all I did was slow down on the side of the road to dump the tepid remains of my pumpkin latte.
Then this snake lunged into the car faster than anything it’s size should
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
She wrapped around my arm and waist and kept hissing
For reference she is large enough to swallow a grown man if she so desired
It was a very tense and awkward drive home
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Of course I took her home that’s where I was going anyway she’s the hitchhiker here
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Update on miss snake: it’s been around 3 hours and she’s somehow bonded with my owl Hedwig instead of them trying to eat each other as nature and/or size dictates
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Also!!!
Her owner is a smug git I once kicked in the face in kindergarten- no I don’t remember that but he somehow does
I will be facilitating the transfer in a park near my house and also “paying for my transgressions” by bringing pumpkin lattes
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
I made it to the park but miss snake - apparently named Nagini- has refused to leave my car despite her stupid owners attempt at coaxing her out
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
The git is now disrespecting my drink choice from the passenger seat of my car. Nagini has stretched across our laps and is effectively holding us in place.
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
I got hungry and he bought me pizza despite my refusals. I’m going to ask him about how he got Nagini to be venomous to pass the time.
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Yes I know it’s been 6 hours, im just getting home. for those of you who love miss snake you’ll be happy to know ive been invited to see her tomorrow – her owner is even gonna feed me!