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After a long, bustling day at the marketplace, the merchants and townsfolk are starting to pack up their things in preparation for returning home. Xie Lian smiles as he lets his gaze wander over the familiar view, shifting his fins delicately to float in place.
“Gege, are we ready to go back?”
Xie Lian’s smile turns even softer at the sight of his husband approaching him. “I think so”, he replies. “I’m all done with packing. It didn’t take long, with how little there was left of the things we brought with us.”
The merfolk couple has had a delightful afternoon at the local marketplace, mingling with their fellow townspeople and doing some trading — mostly with edible underwater plants and fruit Xie Lian cultivates at their home. While Xie Lian and Hua Cheng aren’t dependent on income from trading, Xie Lian enjoys going to the marketplace to sell his produce (although more often than not he ends up giving at least some of it away to less wealthy families for free).
“If everything’s ready”, Hua Cheng says and swims over to give Xie Lian’s cheek a gentle peck, “then let’s go back. I can’t wait to get to cuddle with gege and have a good rest together.”
Xie Lian smiles in silent agreement. As much as he enjoys seeing other families and merfolk living in the area, nothing could be more dear to him than the peace of his and Hua Cheng’s home.
They are about to start their journey back as Xie Lian spots something unusual. He stops swimming and reaches out his hand, placing it on Hua Cheng’s arm. “San Lang, wait.”
“What is it, gege? Did we forget something?”
“No”, Xie Lian says, his eyes widening with surprise, “but it seems like someone else did.”
He starts swimming towards what seems to be an empty container abandoned in a secluded corner of the marketplace. The basket has seemingly been charmed to float at a certain spot without drifting off or floating towards the surface.
Such things are a common sight around the merfolk trading market, so what really caught Xie Lian’s attention is something completely different: a tiny merchild curled up inside the container, all alone and looking frighteningly lifeless.
Xie Lian gasps as he quickly swims over to have a closer look. A chill of fear ripples through him as he notices how pale and weak the child looks — he’s very young, barely older than an infant. For a few horrifying moments Xie Lian thinks the baby isn’t even alive, but then, his fears are relieved by the smallest flicker of tiny fins.
Xie Lian picks the baby up, his concerns returning the very moment he feels how frail the child is, barely moving at all as he’s lifted up. He doesn’t even open his eyes, the only signs of life being a whimper and his little tail curling up in a weak attempt of a defensive position.
“Ssh, little one, it’s okay”, Xie Lian murmurs, curling his arms around the baby protectively and holding him close. The child seems to calm down a bit, and something tugs at the deepest core of Xie Lian’s heart as he feels the warmth of the small body in his arms.
“San Lang”, he says, turning to look at Hua Cheng swimming closer after him, “we need to look for his parents. He’s way too young to take care of himself yet. He might have wandered off on his own and gotten tired while his parents were away.”
“All right. If gege wants“, Hua Cheng says. “Let’s go look around.”
They swim around the marketplace, looking for people who might appear to be distressed parents in search of their child. However, the day’s activities are almost over and most townsfolk have already left, and only a few merchants are still packing up their things.
“Excuse me”, Xie Lian says, approaching a merperson who has been selling jewellery during the day, “do you know whose child this might be? We found him asleep in the outskirts of the market area… he must have been left behind by his family…”
The merman casts a look at the baby and shakes his head. “I’m sorry, sir”, he says. “I’ve no idea. I don’t remember seeing anyone going around here with a baby in tow. They might’ve already left, though I think it’d be quite irresponsible to leave such a small kid behind like that…”
Xie Lian casts a helpless look at Hua Cheng, who replies solemnly. “Does gege want to try checking around the marketplace once more?”
“I don’t think it would make a difference”, Xie Lian says. “There’s hardly anyone here anymore.”
The child lets out a feeble whine, and a wave of urgent concern weaves its way into Xie Lian’s chest as he feels the baby’s energy fading with each passing moment. “San Lang”, he says, “we need to hurry and get the child to safety. He’s so young and he’s been alone for too long. He’s definitely unable to cultivate his own energy yet…”
Hua Cheng nods. “All right, let’s go back. We can figure out later what to do with him.”
They hurry back to their residence as quickly as they can, although their speed is hindered by Xie Lian purposefully slowing down his swimming so as not to upset or jostle the baby. When they finally arrive home, Xie Lian lets out a deep sigh of relief.
As soon as they’re inside, Xie Lian curls up on their most comfortable resting platform, holding the child gently and settling in a position where he can hug the baby close. Now that he has time to have a better look, he realises just how young the child is — definitely not old enough to be left without supervision for longer than a few moments.
“Don’t be afraid, little one”, Xie Lian murmurs as he lets his energy flow towards the baby through the soft contact of the hug. He hopes he is doing it right — he has never been in charge of an infant this young, despite having always been fond of children. Xie Lian knows any adult mer is able to provide life-sustaining energy to a child by holding them close, but he has never done it himself.
Hua Cheng enters the room and settles next to Xie Lian, casting a calm gaze at the child in his arms. “Is the kid okay?”
“I hope so”, Xie Lian says, continuing to feed the baby with the softest currents of energy he can. “He seems content, at least.” The child has calmed down in Xie Lian’s arms and seems to be soothed by his warmth.
“Gege is doing a great job.”
“I feel a bit unsure”, Xie Lian admits, stroking the baby’s head. “He’s so young… I’m not sure I know how to take care of such a small child.”
Hua Cheng gives him a smile, his gaze full of unwavering trust. “Gege will do just fine”, he assures. “Doesn’t he look a lot healthier already? He’s definitely not in any danger in gege’s arms. Don’t worry.”
Xie Lian lets his gaze linger at the baby, hoping with all his heart that Hua Cheng is right. The merchild is so fragile and small in his arms, his big eyes closed in rest, the shimmering scales covering his tail still so soft...
Even though Xie Lian still has some self-doubts, the longer he gazes at the fragile little thing, the more vividly he feels a strong protective instinct awakening in some hidden corner of his heart.
For the rest of the day, Xie Lian dedicates his time and attention to his little surprise guest. Hua Cheng doesn't intervene much, letting Xie Lian handle the baby, but stays close by with a watchful eye.
To Xie Lian’s great relief, the baby’s physical condition seems to improve noticeably in his gentle care. The child gets more alert, his skin gains a more healthy colour instead of the frightening pallor, and he seems to be more at ease overall.
However, it’s clear that when it comes to his emotional state, the poor baby is far from okay. If Xie Lian leaves him for even a moment, he instantly grows frightened and teary; he only calms down when Xie Lian picks him up again to murmur soothing words while rocking him gently.
“San Lang”, Xie Lian says as all three of them rest together in the evening, the baby slumbering quietly in Xie Lian’s arms. “We need to go back to look for his parents tomorrow. The poor thing must miss them so much.”
Hua Cheng nods. “Don’t worry, gege. If his parents are looking for him, they will probably return to the spot where they lost sight of him, so there’s a good chance we might run into them at the marketplace.”
—— 🌊 ——
It turns out, finding the baby’s parents is harder than either Xie Lian or Hua Cheng expected.
They return to the marketplace the following morning, the baby wrapped against Xie Lian’s chest with a soft cloth to make it easier to carry him. They search around for a long time, asking people if they know someone who has been looking for a lost child, but their search turns out futile. No one recognises the baby or has even heard any news about a missing child.
“We should go back”, Xie Lian says finally, feeling defeated. “I’m sure the little one’s caretakers would have showed up by now.” He moves the baby into a better position in the makeshift sling, relieved to find him still napping peacefully.
“Gege is right”, Hua Cheng agrees. “Both you and the baby need rest. Let’s go home.”
“I can’t understand who would abandon their child like this”, Xie Lian says, giving the baby a gentle hug. “He’s so small…”
A dark look flashes in Hua Cheng’s eye. “I have no trouble believing it”, he says. “Some people are such selfish bastards, they don’t have any compassion for even their own offspring.”
As soon as they’re home, Xie Lian takes the baby to their resting space to cuddle him properly and feed him some of his energy. By now, it seems like the baby has gotten used to their arrangement, and twists his tail eagerly as Xie Lian holds him close.
“Goodness, you’re way more excited today”, Xie Lian murmurs, smiling at the baby squirming as if he wants to get closer. “You must have had a good sleep during our trip… but let’s rest for a while more, so that Lian-gege can give you the energy you need, okay?”
The baby reacts to his voice with a babbling sound, making Xie Lian laugh softly. “Do you like hugs? All right, let’s cuddle for a while. It’ll make you feel better.” He holds the baby close, and on a sudden whim, gently nuzzles his head.
The baby giggles.
Time seems to stop. Something warm and soft moves deep in Xie Lian’s heart as he gazes at the small, fragile thing in his arms, and an unnamed emotion overwhelms him as he realises the baby is gazing right back at him. No fear remains in those big dark eyes, having been replaced by curiosity and trust.
Xie Lian finds himself thinking, I made that happen. He feels safe with me.
“Are you happy here, little one?” Xie Lian murmurs, moving his arms so that the baby can rest as comfortably as possible. “I hope it has been nice enough to visit Lian-gege and San Lang-gege. I hope you don’t miss your parents too much…”
His mood, briefly uplifted by the sweet moment, plummets as soon as he remembers the baby’s unknown caretakers. Just who are they? Is there someone out there frantically looking for their child right now? Or did they just not care, wanting to relieve themselves of the burden of caring for an infant?
I don’t understand how anyone could leave you behind, Xie Lian thinks, casting another gentle look at the baby. I don’t know how anyone could not grow fond of you.
Xie Lian awakens from his musings as he senses Hua Cheng approaching. The red-tailed merman enters the chamber, the sharp gaze of his single eye softening the moment he sees Xie Lian. “Gege is taking such good care of the little one again.”
“He makes it easy. He’s been very sweet”, Xie Lian says, cradling the baby in his arms as he shifts on the resting platform a bit to make space for his husband. Despite the joy he feels upon seeing Hua Cheng and getting to share the tender moment with him, the slight ache of uncertainty remains in his heart.
“San Lang… what if no one is actually looking for him?”
Hua Cheng meets his eyes. “There isn’t much we can do about that. If someone has decided their offspring is too much work, it’s not like anyone can force them to take responsibility.”
“But if there’s no one to look after him…” Xie Lian’s fins ripple with a chill of unease. “San Lang, he’s so young. We can’t possibly just leave him out there all alone…” Such a thing would be a nearly instantaneous death sentence for a baby this young.
Hua Cheng looks at him, quiet and contemplative. “Would gege like it”, he then says slowly, “if we kept him with us until we can figure out where to give him, if his actual parents end up not showing up after all?”
Momentarily unsure if he heard right, Xie Lian stares at Hua Cheng. “But — San Lang…” He shifts his gaze to the baby, who has curiously grabbed a strand of Xie Lian’s hair and is tugging at it lightly. “Are you sure? It would be a lot of work…”
As Xie Lian raises his face to look at Hua Cheng again, he is met with a calm, genuine smile. “If it’s what gege wants”, Hua Cheng says, “then I’m okay with it.” He reaches out to touch Xie Lian’s face. “You seem to be quite attached to the kid already, and to be honest…”
He chuckles, caressing Xie Lian’s face. “Gege looks so sweet and tender taking care of the little one. You must be a natural at being a parent.”
Xie Lian feels himself blushing at the loving praise and the adoration in Hua Cheng’s voice. He leans into Hua Cheng’s touch, the flush heating up his cheeks matched with the warmth blooming in his heart.
“We could do it”, Xie Lian says softly. “I’m sure we can figure out something to find him a place to stay… but until that, if San Lang doesn't mind, I would love to keep him safe with us for a while longer.”
Holding the tiny child in his arms, Xie Lian can’t deny it: he does like taking care of the baby, and although their time together hasn’t been long, he really isn’t sure if he has the heart to say goodbye to his small guest just yet.
—— 🌊 ——
Over the next few days, Xie Lian and Hua Cheng spend most of their time learning how to take care of the temporary, but admittedly lovable, addition to their family.
Xie Lian is relieved to see how much happier and healthier the tiny mer seems to get in their care. Very soon, there isn’t a trace left of the lethargic, weak lost child Xie Lian found at the marketplace — as the baby gets proper care and affection, the timid look in his eyes is soon replaced with endless happy smiles.
One day, when Xie Lian swims to the baby to pick him up — he is not quite able to swim properly on his own yet — the child reaches out his hands with eager impatience.
“Hug! Hug!”
Warm fondness swells in Xie Lian’s heart as he hears the sweet voice. “Oh, you know words already? What a smart boy!” He picks the baby up, earning a happy giggle.
The baby wiggles his tail in an attempt to get closer, and Xie Lian can’t hold back an affectionate laugh. “All right, all right, Lian-gege will hug you, as long as you want.”
“Hug!” The baby giggles even louder, as though he’s pleased to know such an important word. “Hug!”
Xie Lian feels overwhelmed with fondness as he sees the excited shine in the baby’s eyes. He wonders if the baby has picked up the word during his stay with Xie Lian and Hua Cheng, or if he was already capable of speaking before — perhaps he was too upset or scared to make noise until now?
“You really like hugs, don’t you, little one?” He strokes the baby’s head, marvelling at the silky texture of his slightly wavy hair.
The baby goes silent as he feels Xie Lian’s soft touch. Big dark eyes gaze at Xie Lian, making his heart melt in a way he has never before experienced. “I wonder what your name is?” Xie Lian murmurs, taking the baby’s tiny hand and squeezing gently. “It feels a bit silly to call you ‘little one’ all the time…”
“Guu”, the baby replies promptly, making Xie Lian laugh again. The sound of his laughter seems to amuse the baby, who giggles as well, repeating more loudly, “Guu!”
“Oh, sweetie”, Xie Lian says, smiling. “Is that what we should call you?”
“Hug! Lia!”
“Sure, sure, Lian-gege will hold you and keep you nice and warm.” Flicking his fins, Xie Lian flips over so that he’s leaning his back on the platform, and lifts the baby to lie on his chest. The baby giggles again at the sudden motion.
“Guu!”
Xie Lian presses a soft kiss on the baby’s forehead. “What a cute little thing you are”, he murmurs. “Maybe we should give you a nickname for as long as you stay with us.” He thinks for a moment before a warm smile crosses his face. “You really seem to like the sound of ‘Gu’ a lot”, he says. “How about ‘Guzi’?”
“Guu!” the baby exclaims, reaching out to Xie Lian and excitedly patting his face. “Ba-ba!”
Hearing that, Xie Lian falls silent, something intense and bittersweet awakening in his heart. “Oh, sweetie”, he says quietly. “I’m not your papa, but I swear I and San Lang will do our best to find your family again, if they are still out there somewhere.” He holds the baby a little tighter, letting all of his warm, affectionate energy flow through the gentle embrace.
“And until then”, Xie Lian says, “you’ll be our little Guzi.”
The baby makes more happy babbling sounds, snuggling close to Xie Lian, and for a moment Xie Lian wonders if the new feeling in his heart can be called mere ‘affection’ anymore.
It really feels like his fondness is shifting undeniably closer towards love with each and every moment he spends with his tiny guest.
—— 🌊 ——
Despite the unexpected joy that taking care of Guzi has brought in his days, there is something Xie Lian starts worrying about — he can’t help wondering if Hua Cheng feels left out now that there is a new addition in the household and he and Xie Lian don’t have as much time for each other as previously.
Xie Lian mulls over it for a couple days, trying to look for signs of Hua Cheng being upset, and trying to give Hua Cheng some extra attention and affection as well to make up for the lost time. Sure, Hua Cheng doesn’t seem to be upset — on the contrary, there’s something noticeably warm and soft about his demeanour around Xie Lian and the baby — but Xie Lian can’t help worrying, and soon enough decides to frankly bring it up.
“San Lang”, he says one evening, “I want to ask you something…”
Hua Cheng slowly swims to Xie Lian, who has just finished putting Guzi to sleep. “Anytime, gege. Can I help you somehow? Or is something wrong?”
Xie Lian wraps his arms around Hua Cheng and lets their tails gently entwine. “Oh, San Lang”, he says. “I’ve just been thinking… does it bother you that we have to spend so much time taking care of Guzi now?”
Hua Cheng raises his brow, looking genuinely surprised. “Of course not”, he says. “I know gege is very fond of Guzi. Why should I be upset seeing my beloved so happy?”
A moment passes in silence as Xie Lian is overwhelmed by the sheer vastness of aching love he feels at hearing Hua Cheng’s words. “San Lang… do you really mean it?”
“Gege, you know there is no one more sincere than me.” With a quiet smile, Hua Cheng caresses Xie Lian’s face. “And as I’ve said before”, he continues, “I really enjoy seeing gege taking care of the little one. You’re so gentle, so loving with him. Such tenderness makes you even more beautiful.” He leans in to kiss Xie Lian, who eagerly returns the kiss.
Despite feeling relieved that Hua Cheng has no objections to the unplanned change in their routines, Xie Lian can’t shake off one tiny concern still lingering in his mind: he can tell Hua Cheng himself is somewhat distant with the baby.
It’s not that Hua Cheng is unkind to the child. He is eager to help Xie Lian with household chores and everything he can, so that Xie Lian can dedicate as much time as he wants to taking care of Guzi. Hua Cheng also seems to regard the baby with genuine warmth, very unlike his usual indifference or outright wariness towards people outside his home (that is, anyone other than Xie Lian).
However, he leaves most of the actual childcare to Xie Lian, opting to serve as a quiet, protective observer instead.
Xie Lian tries not to worry too much about it. After all, Guzi’s stay with them is only temporary — perhaps it is smart of Hua Cheng to avoid getting too attached to the child.
Until one day, something changes.
Xie Lian has gone out to tend to his plants, leaving Guzi napping inside under Hua Cheng’s watchful eye. He gathers some fruit, glad to have a few things to store away until the next visit to the marketplace, and returns inside.
Having moved as quietly as possible so as not to disturb Guzi’s sleep, Xie Lian approaches the resting chamber without anyone noticing. He smiles as he sees Hua Cheng’s lithe, strong figure, his back turned towards Xie Lian and his red-black tail curled up gracefully.
Xie Lian is about to greet Hua Cheng when Guzi makes a small, sleepy sound, seemingly just about to wake up from his nap. Hua Cheng shifts closer to him, an immediate alertness in his movements, and Xie Lian stops right in his tracks to watch the scene unfold.
“Hello there, little one”, Hua Cheng murmurs. “Did you sleep well?”
There is another whining sound as Guzi wiggles his tail. With a soft chuckle, Hua Cheng reaches out towards the baby and lifts him to hold him close. “Ssh, gege’s going to come back very soon. Let’s wait for him, okay?”
He rocks the baby in his arms, with the same slow, gentle motions Xie Lian has used to soothe Guzi countless times. “Don’t worry, don’t worry, gege’s going to be here soon”, he murmurs. “And until then, San Lang will look after you, yeah?”
It feels like Xie Lian has forgotten how to swim or move altogether as he floats in place, enchanted by the sight and sound of his husband being so gentle with the baby. His chest feels tight, like the sheer warmth and emotion brimming over are too great to be contained in his heart.
He stays still for several long moments before finally swimming over. As Hua Cheng notices him approaching, he smiles at him before giving Guzi for him to hold. There is a deep and warm gaze in Hua Cheng’s eye, and Xie Lian aches for something he isn’t sure he can have, but which for this tiny moment seems almost within reach.
—— 🌊 ——
Day after day, week after week passes as Xie Lian and Hua Cheng spend their time taking care of little Guzi. It turns out, their time together isn’t diminished by the temporary addition to their family. Quite the opposite, they spend endless, leisurely hours curled up close to each other’s warmth, holding Guzi between them.
With the constant affection and vital energy from his new caretakers, Guzi truly blossoms into a bundle of endless curiosity. He starts learning to swim short distances on his own; every day, he does practice laps across the residence, encouraged and cheered on by Xie Lian all the way as he makes his way to the awaiting arms of Hua Cheng, who is always ready to catch him if he feels unsteady.
“Hasn’t he gotten bigger?” Xie Lian remarks one day as he holds Guzi, who is taking a nap. “Children grow up so quickly…”
Hua Cheng leans in to peck Xie Lian’s cheek. “No wonder, with gege taking such good care of him.”
“San Lang!” Xie Lian laughs softly. “Don’t sell yourself short. You’ve helped just as much.”
Hua Cheng smiles playfully, reaching out to stroke the baby’s head. “Maybe, but that’s only because gege has shown me such a stellar example.”
One day, they decide it’s time to head to the marketplace. There has been a pause in activities during the colder season, but the days are getting longer and warmer, and local merfolk are starting to gather at the usual spot once again.
Xie Lian packs some of his produce to trade or sell, but the most important thing on his and Hua Cheng’s mind is to see once more if they could find someone with news or knowledge about Guzi’s family.
“All right, time to go”, Xie Lian murmurs, securing the sling holding Guzi safely against his back so that he can carry him more easily to their destination. “Maybe we’ll find your family this time, little one.”
For some reason, the thought doesn’t make him even half as hopeful as it probably should.
As they arrive at the marketplace, they are greeted by some familiar faces, but many of the merfolk present are complete strangers. It seems like an opportunity — maybe there is someone among the newcomers who might know something about Guzi’s past.
“Hello”, Xie Lian asks a merperson with a brilliantly shining blue tail and graceful body, “I would like to ask about something…”
“Sure”, the merperson answers. “But make it quick. I’ve got a meeting soon.”
“Please don’t worry”, Xie Lian says, “it’s very simple.” He turns sideways so that the merperson can have a look at the baby bundled to his back. “Would you perhaps have an idea who this child is…?”
It turns out, the merperson has never seen Guzi… and neither has anyone else Xie Lian asks. It’s a repeat of their first attempt to find Guzi’s family — they catch no sight of anyone looking like they’re searching for a lost child. Everything seems peaceful, every spot full of delighted reunions and good-natured bargaining of goods.
Guzi, however, is clearly not enjoying his stay.
“What’s wrong, Guzi?” Xie Lian asks with gentle concern as he feels Guzi shifting restlessly in his sling and making tearful whimpering noises. “Are you getting tired?”
Hua Cheng swims closer and reaches out his hand to stroke Guzi’s head. Guzi grabs his hand instantly, whimpering even louder as he clings onto Hua Cheng’s long slender fingers.
“Gege”, Hua Cheng says quietly. “I think he might be afraid of the marketplace.”
A terrible cold feeling runs through Xie Lian’s heart. “Oh no, little one”, he says. “Are you scared you’re going to be left alone again?”
“Ssh, it’s okay”, Hua Cheng says, stroking Guzi’s head with his free hand; the baby is still clutching the other as tightly as his tiny fingers can. “We can go back. No one’s going to abandon you.” Despite his words being subdued and calm, something dark flashes in Hua Cheng’s eye, but Xie Lian can tell it has nothing to do with Guzi — or rather, it does, but only indirectly.
Hua Cheng looks fiercely, fervently protective.
“Let’s go home”, Xie Lian says, and they pay no more mind to any of the trades or meetings Xie Lian had planned for their daytrip.
Despite feeling at loss about what to do with Guzi, Xie Lian can’t deny the soft relief coursing through him as they get back home. Guzi has calmed down by the time they arrive, but there is still a tiny flicker of uneasiness in his gaze; as Xie Lian takes off the baby sling and unwraps it from around Guzi, the baby whines loudly and clings onto him.
“Don’t worry, Guzi”, Xie Lian says, holding Guzi close and pressing a gentle kiss on his hair. “We’re at home now, no one is going to leave you alone. Lian-gege will take care of you.”
He holds Guzi for a long time, until the baby has completely calmed down. Apparently tired after the short but intense adventure to the marketplace, Guzi dozes off in Xie Lian’s arms, his little tail curled up.
When Guzi wakes up, he is all sunshine again, laughing as Hua Cheng lifts him in his arms and spins him around. He seems to have left his bad memories back at the marketplace, but although Xie Lian is relieved, he also makes a mental note to avoid going there for at least until Guzi is a bit older.
That night, when it’s time to put Guzi to sleep — he has his very own bed now, a comfortable little platform Hua Cheng has carved and filled with sea silks — Xie Lian suddenly marvels at the quiet joy seeping through him. Without him even noticing, putting Guzi to sleep has become such an easy task, a comforting ritual both for the baby and Xie Lian himself.
“Good night, Guzi”, Xie Lian whispers with overflowing fondness, petting Guzi’s hair softly until the child is sound asleep.
After making sure Guzi is sleeping peacefully, Xie Lian swims across the chamber to join Hua Cheng, who is already waiting for him with a smile. They curl up together, their tails entwining as Hua Cheng wraps his arms around Xie Lian.
“San Lang”, Xie Lian murmurs. “What will we do with A-Zi?” The endearment slips from his tongue, unplanned and unexpected, catching even him by surprise.
“What does gege think?”
Xie Lian falls quiet, full of uncertainty. He does have an idea of what he would like to do… but it feels like such a precious wish is too fragile to be voiced aloud, and he hesitates.
Hua Cheng doesn’t push him, looking at him with calm patience and stroking his long hair soothingly. Their eyes meet, and seeing that look on unconditional love and support in his husband’s gaze, Xie Lian finally speaks.
“What if”, he says slowly, “we will never find anyone to take care of him?”
Hua Cheng takes his hand and intertwines their fingers. “If you ask me”, he says, “trash who abandon or lose sight of their child like that don’t deserve them anyway.”
Something stirs in Xie Lian’s heart. Instinctively, he holds Hua Cheng’s hand a bit tighter, getting a reassuring squeeze back. “San Lang, do you think…” he says, his voice barely above a whisper, “we could let Guzi stay with us?”
The calm, unreadable look on Hua Cheng’s face melts into genuine softness, the kind of expression he has always reserved only for Xie Lian — that is, before Guzi came along.
“Can we do it?” Hua Cheng murmurs with the slightest hint of uneasiness. “Gege knows my childhood was anything but ideal. I would love to look after gege’s child, but…” He frowns. “Who knows if I could avoid turning out just as useless a father as my own.”
“San Lang, no.” Xie Lian’s heart aches at the bitterness overflowing in his husband’s words. “First of all, Guzi wouldn’t be ‘gege’s child’. He would be yours just as much as mine, if we were to decide to take care of him permanently. And…” He leans in to give Hua Cheng a soft kiss. “I’ve seen how you treat A-Zi. I’ve seen how careful you are with him. There is no way San Lang would fail to protect anyone he cares about.”
“Gege…”
Xie Lian smiles, his heart swelling with a warm emotion. “We can make it together”, he whispers. “And if I’m honest, I don’t know how I even could let him go anymore. San Lang, I think… I think I love that child.”
Hua Cheng tightens his hold on Xie Lian’s hand. “As I’ve said”, he says, “gege looks so beautiful when he is taking care of children so tenderly. I’ve sometimes thought, if I could grant gege the happiness of parenthood, I would do it in a heartbeat if he so wished…”
A wave of delight gently washes over Xie Lian, warm and hopeful, as the decision in his heart becomes clearer like a sea crystal being polished. “Doesn’t little Guzi feel like our child already?” he whispers.
There is a moment of silence before Hua Cheng’s face softens into a smile. “Yes.” He raises Xie Lian’s hand to his lips to press a kiss onto his fingers. “He really does.”
That night, Xie Lian wakes up to the sound of something small and sleepy crawling into his and Hua Cheng’s bed.
He opens his eyes, blinking blearily as he turns to look towards their unexpected — but anything but unwelcome — visitor. A smile softens his face as he sees Guzi making his way to Xie Lian and Hua Cheng, half asleep but obviously determined to get a hug.
Xie Lian reaches out his hands and pulls the baby to rest beside him. Next to them, Hua Cheng has awakened as well, his calm expression suffused with protective affection as he quietly watches the merchild curling up in Xie Lian’s arms.
Guzi falls asleep in mere moments, content and peaceful in the familiar safety of Xie Lian’s embrace. Xie Lian’s heart melts with tender emotion he now finally dares call parental love as he holds the little warm bundle close to him; as he raises his face and his and Hua Cheng’s eyes meet, he sees the same kind of warmth in his husband’s gaze.
Slowly, carefully, Hua Cheng reaches out his hand and joins Xie Lian and Guzi’s hug. And at that quiet, soft moment of fondness and joy, Xie Lian finds himself believing it wholeheartedly: together, the three of them will be okay.