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Brriinnngg. Brrrriiing. Brrriiinng.
Ryan jerked upwards, startled by the noise. He blinked, groggy. Then squinted as he sat up, rubbing his eyes.
Brrriiiing. Brrrriiiinnng. Brrriiing.
He groaned, knowing it was way too early for anyone to be calling him or anyone in his family. It was probably just a random number. It happened a couple of times before.
Usually though, nowadays when Ryan was home, the phone was meant for him. He and Min called often when they weren’t able to be together in person.
Though he and Min agreed they would pursue their career in music together, Min also decided to keep taking college classes on the side.
Not as a full-time student, so he and Ryan could have the time to play shows together, but just as a precaution in case things didn’t work out.
Ryan was hesitant about this because he knew how Min really felt about going to college. He knew it would make Min miserable. But his boyfriend insisted on it, so he couldn’t say no to that.
Besides, it was true. It didn’t hurt to have some sort of income that wasn’t reliant on chance.
That, and Min’s parents weren’t so harsh on him when he mentioned his plan, given that he was still going to be in school. Not that he would’ve cared all that much.
…Well. That’s a lie.
Ryan knew Min cared about his parent’s opinion a lot. Even if he wasn’t as dependent on people’s opinions of him as he used to be.
Ryan slid out of bed, his bare feet hitting the ground as he rubbed his eyes again. He squinted at the alarm clock next to his bedside, and grabbed his glasses.
He unfolded them carefully before putting them to his face. The clock read 4:00am.
Yeah. Way too early for anyone to be calling. Anyone he knew anyways.
But the phone kept screaming, anyways. Not getting the hint that nobody was going to be picking up.
Ryan grumbled as he opened the door to his room and trudged down the stairs as quietly as he could. He wasn’t willing to let the phone wake up his siblings or parents.
He knew that he was going to get blamed for waking everyone up if the phone kept ringing.
He was surprised honestly, that his parents were letting him crash back at home from time to time, when he and Min weren’t traveling.
But, because he was older, he was responsible for more. Chores here and there, errands, helping with dinner occasionally….
Which… Ryan didn’t mind all that much.
He actually found that cooking was surprisingly relaxing for him. …Though he usually made a mess when he did it alone. But nonetheless, it was still something he enjoyed.
Ryan didn’t know why he was responsible for all this when he had other siblings around, even one older than him.
It made him feel like he was the least favorite.
And maybe he was.
But he knew that he wasn’t having to pay rent for staying back home, so he let all those thoughts slide and stay in the back of his brain. Though, Min knew how much it bothered him.
Ryan finally reached the bottom of the stairs, his pajama pants dragging on the floor, just a little too big for him.
Sometimes it was a bit of a hazard coming down the stairs like that because he had nearly tripped multiple times.
He told Min this, and his boyfriend suggested rolling up the bottom of his pants, and every time, Ryan said it was a good idea, but either forgot, or was too lazy.
One day he was going to give Min-Gi a heart attack.
The long haired teen fast walked towards the phone now, more awake as the sound kept ringing loudly in his ear, and the idea of his whole family yelling at him became more clear in his head.
Ryan reached his arm out, grabbing hold of the red phone mounted on the wall, near the kitchen.
“Wrong number-“ His voice started to say, sounding tired.
“Ryan.” Min’s voice came from the other side of the phone.
Ryan’s eyes widened, suddenly feeling like he was completely awake. His heart started to race a little as he looked around to make sure nobody had come out of their rooms to yell at him.
His grip on the phone became a little more tighter as he continued to hold it up to his ear, attention focused at 100%.
“Min?” He whispered. “Min, what’s wrong? You usually wouldn’t be calling this late. I thought I was supposed to be the one with the fucked up sleep schedule.” He joked around towards the end.
It was silent for a moment.
This was starting to freak Ryan out.
Was this a dream? It felt like one.The teen stood there for a moment, awkwardly with no response.
Maybe it was just a bad joke…or something
Or maybe it really was a dream.
Ryan reached his hand out, looking at his index finger and thumb before squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the side of his thigh.
The pain spread through the spot where his fingers made contact with his leg. Ryan’s eyes shot open as he winced and shook his hand around.
Maybe it wasn’t a dream, after all.
“Min-Gi? Min? Are you there still?” He finally spoke, his hand clutching the phone even tighter.
“…Yeah. Yeah I am.” The voice responded.
Ryan knew something was off by the response. He couldn’t tell the first time Min spoke, because he had only said one word.
But feeling the silence, and the way the voice sounded through the phone.
Something was wrong.
His boyfriend sounded…. Really tired. And like… he was about to cry, maybe?
Min’s voice was also a little bit deeper than usual.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Ryan spoke even more soft. He was being quiet already, because he didn’t want to wake up his family, but now he was doing it out of concern and comfort. “Are you okay?”
“I…” Min-Gi started to speak before he cut himself off with a sniffle.
At this point Ryan was really freaked out. Before the train, this sort of paranoia didn’t exist. But after, he found it was a lot easier to be worried about Min.
And sometimes just in general.
He wasn’t sure if it was because they were a lot closer now, than before. And not just because they were dating.
Though, that was a pretty big part of it, he was sure.
They officially confessed to each other a couple weeks after being off the train. And for both of them, it was a huge weight lifted off their chests.
It was best decision either of them had made.
Min admitted that he was so afraid of losing Ryan if he said something, especially after not being in contact for so long.
He wouldn’t be able to handle it.
And neither could Ryan.
“Min. Min, talk to me. Min, what’s wrong?” Ryan audibly sounded concerned now. His voice becoming a bit louder, but waking his family up now…wasn’t a huge concern. Finding out what was wrong with his boyfriend was.
“Can…can you stay on the phone for a while?” He finally spoke.
“Fuck that, I can just come over.” Ryan was already looking at the door, as if he was about to run out, barefoot and in pajamas.
“N-no, I don’t want you to get in trouble or make you come all the way out here this early.”
“Min. You know my family. They wouldn’t give a shit, honestly. And i’m an adult, anyways. It’s fine, really. I just care about making sure if you’re okay right now. Plus…having to be this quiet really sucks. I don’t think I could last another 5 minutes like this.” He joked towards the end.
It got a little laugh out of Min, before it turned into a cough.
“…Yeah, okay.” Min-Gi said. It sounded like he was smiling a little bit, as if he was happy that Ryan cared enough to drop everything for him like this, or even suggested to come over in the first place.
“I’ll be over there as soon as I can. Maybe half an hour if I leave right now.” He quickly responded.
“Ryan?”
“Yeah?”
“…Just. Please don’t rush out in your pajamas. Pack a bag or something, at least.” Min said, as if reading Ryan’s mind from miles away.
“…How do you know me so well?” He responded with a little smile on his face.
“Eh, just a lucky guess.” Min said, a little smile heard in his voice as well.
“See you soon, okay?”
“Okay.”
It was silent for a second before Ryan spoke quickly again. “Min?”
“Yeah?”
“…Love you.”
It was silent for a moment. As if it caught Min off-guard.
Ryan’s face got extremely hot, worrying it was too much. He had the tendency to be…too much sometimes.
The teen opened his mouth, ready to apologize for it, but there was a response before he got to.
“I love you too.”
The phone buzzed, implying Min hung up first.
Ryan’s face stayed hot.
Sometimes he felt like things were too good to be true with Min.
How Ryan was so incredibly lucky to be with someone who could just…stand him. And loved him as much as he loved Min.
Min-Gi’s presence as a whole was incredibly comforting.
He truly felt like the luckiest person on Earth.
Ryan softly put the phone back onto the hook before starting to rush back upstairs as quietly as possible. He almost tripped over his pajama pants again.
The teen held his doorknob as he turned it, to make the least amount of noise as possible. He was lucky enough that he got his own little corner when he was home.
Most of his older siblings had moved out already. He used to have to share a room with at least one brother when he was growing up.
It was a pain, having to share your personal space with someone else.
It also meant that as soon as Ryan closed the door that he didn’t have to continue being quiet. Which he definitely didn’t do.
He began to throw around shirts and other clothing as he grabbed a hand-held suitcase from under his bed. He unlatched it and began to toss a bunch of clothing in.
But then he stopped as he heard Min-Gi’s voice in his head. Telling him how awful it looked.
Ryan grumbled a bit before dumping everything out and beginning to put things in neatly. It annoyed him sometimes when his boyfriend did that. But Ryan knew that he did it out of love. Ryan just could be a lazy person, sometimes.
He wanted to get to Min-Gi as quick as possible, but he also knew that rushing himself wouldn’t help the situation, either.
That’s what Min would’ve told him anyways.
Ryan wasn’t the best at folding clothes. In fact, he nearly didn’t care about it at first. Min-Gi had to teach him. His parents never cared enough to teach Ryan basic skills like shaving or folding clothes. So he was sort of on his own most of the time.
He hoped Min would be proud that he folded…or, rather, attempted to fold his clothes. It was true though, that you could fit more stuff in that way as well.
Ryan wasn’t sure how long he’d be staying at Min’s dorm, but he was preparing for the long haul.
Not like he had anything better to do anyways.
He snagged his light blue jeans, a loose dark gray long sleeve, and a red t-shirt with a logo on the top right side, and began to change. He tucked in both shirts into his pants and then threw his brown jacket on afterwards.
Ryan looked back and forth between his signature boots or the pair of classic black and white high-top converse he got from Min-Gi. It was a hand me down, because he got new ones, but they were still in perfect condition.
That was his boyfriend, alright.
They were a little loose around the top, but tied tight enough, they fit perfectly.
He slipped on a pair of white and gray socks, then began to un-lace the high-tops. He rarely wore them because of the work it took to put on, but they also were a lot more casual and easier to drive in. After shoving both feet in and tying the shoes back up, he stood up.
Ryan looked at himself in the mirror, proud he was able to come up with such a cozy, yet stylish outfit. Though… it wasn’t as impressive as he thought, honestly. It was just layering and a hand-me down pair of sneakers.
But he still looked good.
His hair was a mess, though. He figured he was just a bit of a messy sleeper just because when he was with Min, he always commented on it. Though he insisted it was cute….sometimes. Whenever Ryan wasn’t kicking him by accident or drooling on his boyfriend’s shirt.
The teen snatched a brush from the top of his dresser and carefully combed through his hair. Ryan surprisingly, had a really good hair routine.
For someone who had such a carefree attitude towards things usually, Ryan really cared about his appearance most of the time. Which was most shocking for Min-Gi to find out.
Ryan got offended the first time Min figured this out.
He almost left his hair tangled for Min to brush out when he got there, just because he loved the feeling of his hair being brushed. Ryan never had the luxury of letting someone brush it growing up. The idea of it felt a little weird to him, but recently Min insisted on it, so Ryan let him.
Honestly, of the best decisions he’d ever made.
Besides, based over how his boyfriend sounded on the phone, maybe he didn’t have the energy to do much.
Ryan took one last look around the room, slung his guitar case over his shoulders, then grabbed his suitcase with his freehand. He treaded down the stairs quietly, thankful he didn’t have pajama pants to trip over this time. He was sure that if he kept them on, he would’ve fallen and probably broke something.
Min-Gi wouldn’t let him hear the end of it if that happened.
The teen snatched his keys from the hook near the door and took a look around the house.
Nobody was there.
He was expecting to find somebody standing there watching him take off.
Someone to ask him where he was going.
But, instead, nobody was there.
He sighed, a little annoyed, before grabbing a piece of paper from a drawer and a pen with it, scribbling a messy letter and pinning it to the fridge. In case anyone cared.
“At Min-Gi’s. Be back in a couple days, probably. Don’t miss me too much. -Ryan”
The last part was heavy sarcasm, though if he had written that to Min, it would’ve been teasingly. Since he actually cared.
Ryan picked his stuff back up before looking at the house again, and then turning around. He held the doorknob to be quiet, even though he really wanted to be as loud as he possibly could be.
His concern was replaced by annoyance as he closed the door and made his way to the van. He grumbled as he opened the passenger door and placed his stuff on the side, then closed the door and made his way to the driver’s seat, hopping in the van.
“Fucking ridiculous…” Ryan muttered to himself as he started the van. The engine sputtered and started.
He let out a deep sigh before taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. He wasn’t going to say this in front of Min-Gi, but he was exhausted.
Truthfully, he went to bed only a couple of hours before Min’s call. His sleep schedule was absolutely horrid. Multiple times he tried to fix it, but it always came back around.
The teen placed his red frames back on his face and glanced to the clock in his car. It read 4:45am. Not too shabby.
Though…it being winter and driving in the dark wasn’t exactly ideal. But it would be fine. He took another deep breath and then took off.
Ryan had been to Min’s dorm a couple times already, so he was comfortable enough with how to get to and from, and what number his room was. Usually he had poor memory, but this type of information stuck with him.
Anything Min-Gi related, actually.
At 5:20am, there was a knock on the dorm door. Min-Gi said something inaudible to Ryan, who furrowed his eyebrows before just turning the handle.
It was unlocked.
Ryan stepped into the dark dorm room, squinting to see as his eyes took a hard time adjusting.
Luckily, Min didn’t have any roommates. He wasn’t sure if that made it better or worse for Min-Gi, but Ryan found it a relief that he didn’t have to justify coming over in the middle of the night to complete strangers.
“Min?” Ryan called out quietly. “It’s Ryan!”
“I know who you are, dumbass.” A voice said, muffled. Not in a mean way, but teasing. The two were good at doing that to one another.
His boyfriend rolled his eyes and made his way towards the bedroom. Ryan placed his belongings near Min-Gi’s desk and chair and hovered his hand above the desk lamp. He looked to Min’s bed, which had a figure that appeared to be laying down, but completely covered in blankets.
“Min, is it okay if I turn on this light? Your little desk lamp one?” Ryan asked softly.
Silence for a moment. “…Yeah.”
The teen flickered the switch and it dimly lit up the room. Ryan could see things clearly now.
Min was underneath his covers, there were clothes scattered on the floor, which was unlike him. He glanced over through the doorway, and the light barely hit the common area, but he could see the sink full and the rest of the place untouched.
“…Babe, Min, what’s going on?” Ryan used his soft voice as he furrowed his eyebrows, concerned again. “…I’m gonna sit on your bed, okay?”
Ryan didn’t wait for an answer as he slowly took a seat on the empty side of the bed. He placed his hand on top of the blanket pile.
“…Are you gonna come out of there or do I have to force my way in? Because you know I will.”
Min-Gi mumbled something before sighing.
“Min-Giiiii I can’t hear you.” Ryan whined a little, playfully. “I came allll this way and I don’t even get to see your face?” He pouted.
He started to unlace his shoes, tossing them by his stuff when he finished.
Ryan then climbed back on the bed, his hand back on top of the comforter. “Oh Miiiiin.” He did a little sing-song voice before pulling up on the blanket.
He felt the strength of his boyfriend hold it in place. Ryan pouted again.
Then, Ryan lifted once more. And surprisingly, he won.As much as Ryan bragged about his guitar building up some of his muscle…it wasn’t a whole lot that he gained.
Min was in sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt. His hair was extremely messy, and Ryan could tell there were bags underneath his eyes. He also spotted a little stubble starting to grow. It looked like he hadn’t been taking proper care of himself…at all.
That was all it took for his boyfriend to be concerned. “Hey, what happened? This isn’t like you.” He remarked quietly. “…Hang on.”
Ryan placed his hand on Min-Gi’s forehead then quickly took it back. “Jeez, you’re burning up… are… are you sick?”
“…Maybe.”
“You wanted me to come over so you could give me your germs?” He playfully teased before realizing Min didn’t think it was funny. “…Sorry.”
Min-Gi looked down before looking back up, meeting Ryan’s gaze. “…I just…I…I’ve been having a hard time taking care of myself.” He said quietly.
Ryan was silent for a moment. It felt like a rare moment where he felt like he wasn’t the one coming to Min-Gi for help.
This time it was flipped around.
It was a weird feeling, to be in the position. But not in a bad way.
He was having a hard time trying to get words out of his mouth, even though his brain was saying a lot of thoughts at once.
“It’s…okay to have bad days.” The long-haired teen said quietly. He found himself placing his hand on Min’s head.
At first, it felt like Min was startled by the contact. Ryan swore he felt a little flinch.
He knew not to take it personally though.
Sometimes it just happened to both of them.
It hadn’t happened before the train, but once they came back, they found themselves flinching at sudden sounds or contact. Not that it meant they were scared by either things.
It just…caught them off-guard at times.
Min had done some research on trauma and found that it was a symptom of that. Which… wasn’t exactly fun to read, see, or hear. Neither was it to pass over to his boyfriend.
It was quiet again.
Min-Gi felt his eyes well up with tears. And then felt a soft hand stroking through his hair.
The six words Ryan had said weren’t a lot…but they were something that his boyfriend desperately needed to hear.
Being raised around a strict Asian family, that wasn’t something you would hear from your parents or any type of relative. So it was unlikely Ryan had heard this from anyone…but himself. He likely had to learn it the hard way.
And as for Min, he just rarely let himself “slip up” because he was known for being mature and grown-up in his family.
Ryan laid down and scootched over, patting his chest. Min looked up with his messy hair and watery eyes, then laid his head and a hand on Ryan.
Min could hear the steady breathing of his boyfriend…going in and out…in…and out…in and out.
He felt Ryan’s arm wrap around his body and suddenly everything in the world stopped for both of them. Everything was warm, and comforting.
It felt like Home.
Despite the fact that Ryan was upset about his family earlier…
And that Min was upset that he had to call for help…and that he managed to get sick in the first place…
Despite that things weren’t how the two wanted them to be…
Everything was okay.
It was as if every problem in the world melted away and all that mattered was the company of each other.
It felt like only seconds had passed, but truthfully it was about 15 minutes that they laid there in silence.
Ryan looked down to see that Min-Gi’s eyes were closed. He looked absolutely exhausted…but yet at peace. He even started to snore a little bit, which almost made Ryan giggle, but he compromised with a smile instead.
Ryan went back to stroking his boyfriend’s hair, pulling the blanket on the bed towards the two with his free hand.
Even though Min was burning up, making him even warmer than he usually was already, it contrasted with the winter weather outside. He knew the second when Min woke up that Ryan’s health would be his concern, but to Ryan himself, it didn’t matter.
Then, his eyelids began to droop.
Worrying about his boyfriend made Ryan forget about how early he had gotten up, and the lack of sleep he had beforehand. But it was all starting to catch up to him now.
The teen took his free arm to take off his red frames, laying them carefully on the little table next to the bed.
He felt Min breathing steadily, now. Before, it was a bit fast.
And he could feel his own breathing matching up with his boyfriend’s.
Ryan yawned before looking up at the ceiling for a couple seconds, then down at Min-Gi. He couldn’t help but smile. Min just looked too cute.
Ryan let his eyelids drop as he nestled closer to Min, before dozing off as well.