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It was an afternoon at the ministry, the calm period between tour cycles where their father focused on paperwork and they were free to roam, when the Emeritus boys were introduced to Cardinal Copia.
"Hello, boys. This is Copia, he's going to be training to be our Cardinal. He'll be your father's - and eventually yours, when you take the stage - right-hand man. I want you three to show him around the ministry and get to know him as you'll all be working closely in the future."
The boy was clearly shy as Sister Imperator introduced him, almost completely hidden behind her leg, but it was obvious that he was young, probably around the same age as Papa Emeritus III.
"Hi!" Papa Emeritus III took the opportunity to jump forth, the most social of the three, extending his small hand toward the boy. "I'm Papa Emeritus the Third! Nice to meet you!"
Pleased to see him greeting the boy, Sister stepped aside to fully reveal Copia - who was still looking at the ground, before hesitantly looking up as Sister and Nihil left the way they came, the two clergy leaders distracted by their own conversing as they left.
Copia looked up at them through long brown hair that fell in strands across his eyes, and the boys blinked in shock.
He had the singular white eye of an Emeritus... But he... wasn't an Emeritus?
"I wasn't aware that those not of the bloodline could possess the white eye..." Papa Emeritus II murmured, barely audible as the three boys stared back at the newcomer.
"Is... is your name really Papa Emeritus the Third?"
Copia's voice was soft, and slightly accented, but Papa Emeritus III found it nice to listen to. He would make a great singer, the young papa thought. If only he was of the bloodline and not just a cardinal.
"Well," Papa Emeritus III struggled for a second on what to say, looking over to his brothers with a shrug, "I mean, I wouldn't say it's my name? More like a title. Papa Emeritus is what I'm going to be when it's my turn to lead the church. My dad, you've probably met him already, he was with Sister just now, he is the current Papa Emeritus."
"Well then, what's your name?" Copia tilted his head, eyebrows furrowed, obviously confused.
"I don't, um-" Papa Emeritus III stammered, mind racing. Was Papa Emeritus his name? But his father was Papa Emeritus as well, and that wasn't his name, his name was Nihil! But Papa Emeritus III didn't have anything to call his name!
"We don't have names," Papa Emeritus I cut in, saving his half-brother from his awkward stammering, his voice sounding low and uncaring as if he was unbothered by the fact. "we're just Papa Emeritus's, that's what our father says. We don't need names, since our purpose is just to lead the clergy when it's our time to be the leader of the Clergy."
"...um," Copia squinted at the brothers with a frown, "that's dumb."
Papa Emeritus III snorted, not expecting that response.
"Don't you ever wish you had different names?" Copia asked, "it must be tiring having to say your entire title all the time!"
"It is a little cumbersome..." Papa II agreed with a slight nod, exchanging a glance with his older brother, who looked unsure about the whole situation.
"It's not like we could just name ourselves though..." Papa Emeritus I argued, "we have no idea what our names would even be. Really the only people around here whose names we know are our father and you."
"That's true... I guess it's hard to just make a name out of nowhere..." Copia tapped his foot, eyes narrowed in thought, before straightening up with a grin, "I have an idea! Wait here, I'll be right back!"
With that, the boy darted off down the hallway, quickly turning a corner and disappearing out of sight, his footsteps echoing through the empty halls.
"What do you think that was about?" Papa Emeritus II asked, chuckling slightly as he heard the distant shriek of a Sister of Sin who probably just got bowled over by the tiny cardinal.
"Who knows, but I hope his idea works..." Papa Emeritus III clasped his hands together excitedly, "can you imagine having a name of your own? Being able to introduce yourself as something that's all yours?"
"You're probably gonna name yourself something stupid." Papa Emeritus I stated flatly, with a humourous glint in his eye as he made fun of his younger brother.
"Will not!" Papa Emeritus protested, "My name is going to be cool! Everyone is going to love it. When I'm Papa, I bet all the fans will call me by my name instead of my title because they'll love it so much."
"It's probably gonna be something like... Kazoo." Papa Emeritus II poked his brother in the side with his elbow, smirking at him. "You love that thing so much, you should name yourself after it."
"I can see the headlines now," their older brother gazed over their heads like he was reminiscing, waving his hand in front of him like he was unveiling something, "Leader of Satanic Church leads Satanic band to Fame and Success - The story of the Lead Singer... Kazoo."
"See! I think it's perfect," Papa Emeritus II threw his arms around his younger brother, pulling him close as the boy squirmed to get away. "Don't you agree, Kazoo?"
"That's stupid! I wouldn't name myself Kazoo!" Papa Emeritus III rolled his eyes, playfully shoving his brother off. "I bet your names are gonna be stupid too!"
"Oh really? Well, what do you think they'll be?" Papa Emeritus II asked with a grin, crossing his arms as he stood triumphantly next to Papa Emeritus I, who rolled his eyes good-naturedly at his brothers' antics.
Luckily Papa Emeritus III was saved from answering by Copia tearing around the corner and running back up to them, the boy holding a small book in his hand that he waved at them.
"Here!" Copia shoved the book into Papa Emeritus I's arms, "I bet you can find something that would work for a name or at least give you some inspiration for a name in here!"
"What is it?" Papa II peeked over his brother's shoulder as he opened the book, squinting as he didn't recognize any of the words.
"Just look through it!" Copia urged them, "Take your time, see if anything pops out to you as your name!"
The boys slowly took a seat on the hallway floor, sitting in a mini circle as Papa Emeritus I slowly flipped through the book, his eyes scanning the pages carefully. The other three members of the circle quietly conversed as they awaited his decision, their conversation mostly revolving around getting to know the newest member of the clergy.
After a few minutes, their conversation was interrupted.
I like this one," Papa Emeritus I spoke suddenly, turning the book and holding it out to Copia as he pointed out a word that he had found in the middle of the sentence. The other two brothers crowded Copia as they tried to peek at the book, both of them not recognizing any of the words on the page.
"Primo?" Copia smirked, finding something humourous, looking from the book to the eldest son of Nihil. "Are you sure?"
"Yes." Papa Emeritus I - Primo? - nodded firmly. "Primo," he tested the name out, nodding again as it escaped his lips. "Primo. I like it."
"Alright, Primo it is." Copia extended a small hand to the newly named teenager, "It's nice to meet you, Primo, I'm Copia."
"It's nice to meet you, Copia," Primo gave a rare smile, shaking Copias hand firmly before handing the book back to him. "I'm Primo."
"Alright, Papa Emeritus II, your turn." Copia handed the middle brother the book. "Take your time, you don't wanna choose a name that you don't feel fits you." With a nod, Papa Emeritus II took it eagerly, scooting backward a few feet so he could peruse it peacefully while the others spoke.
The sound of pages turning filled the air, and the circle went back to their small talk while they waited.
After a few minutes, the second Emeritus brother had found his chosen name as well.
"This one." Papa Emeritus II pointed at a small word in the lower corner of the page. Copia looked at the book, double-checked with the boy that it was correct, then shrugged and nodded.
"Okay. Secundo." Copia tested the name out, squinting at the boy in front of him with a slight smile. "Hello, Secundo. Yes," Copia nodded, "I think it fits you." Same as with Primo, Copia held out a small hand for the older boy to shake. "It's nice to meet you, Secundo, I'm Copia."
"It's nice to meet you, Copia!" Secundo grinned, shaking Copias hand tightly, "I'm Secundo."
Copia smiled as he took the book back, turning to the last Emeritus brother.
"Alright, here you go Papa Emeritus III," Copia handed the little book over, "Your turn. Don't forget to-"
"Take my time!" Papa Emeritus III finished for him with a good-natured roll of his eyes, "I will!"
With that, the youngest Emeritus brother left the circle to flip through the book. The remaining members fell back into conversation, this time with Primo and Secundo explaining different parts of the clergy to Copia.
The youngest brother took the longest of the three to settle on his name, carefully perusing each page with his eyebrows furrowed as he sounded out each word that caught his eye, carefully scanning each page as he looked for the one that spoke to him.
"This one," Papa Emeritus III slid his finger along the page to direct Copia's gaze to his chosen word, "I think this one fits me."
Copia chuckled again, and nodded. "Terzo?"
"Terzo." Papa Emeritus III nodded, testing out his new name.
"I think it fits you," Copia smiled, "It sounds cool."
"I told you!" Terzo huffed at his brothers, "My name is cool!"
"Well," Copia extended his hand to the final Emeritus brother to receive his name, "I'm glad you like it. It's nice to meet you, Terzo, I'm Copia."
"It's nice to meet you, Copia!" Terzo shook Copias hand enthusiastically, so enthusiastically he almost pulled the boy's arm off. "My name is Terzo!" He finished with a beaming smile.
"So..." Copia looked at the three newly-named boys, "What do you think? Like going by your names instead of those stupid titles?"
"It's..." Primo smiled softly. "It's nice. I like being able to call myself something that's my own, not just the title of a job I'm expected to do."
"I like being different from my brothers," Terzo glanced at them, "No offense."
"None taken." The older two shrugged it off.
"I think I like being able to separate my clergy self and my actual self?" Secundo nodded, "if that makes sense. Like when I'm papa, there will be the onstage version of myself and the offstage version. Papa Emeritus II is the onstage version, and Secundo is offstage."
"That makes a lot of sense! Do you think you'll-" Copia started speaking, only to be cut off abruptly.
"Boys! There you are," Copia nearly jumped a foot in the air as Sister's voice interrupted them, the woman and Papa Nihil walking up behind the group. "How are you doing? Have the boys been explaining everything well?"
"Yeah! Primo and Secun-" Copia froze as the names escaped his mouth, seeing Papa Nihil and Sister Imperator exchange confused glances at the unfamiliar names, "I-I mean, Papa Emeritus I and II told me all about how the clergy works and the layout of the ministry and-"
"What did you call them?" Papa Nihil asked, looking down at the nervously stammering boy with a stern gaze.
"I, um-" Copia twisted his hands together, looking away as he frantically wracked his brain for an answer that wouldn't end up in them all getting in trouble.
"He's teaching us a new language!" Primo cut in, coming to the rescue, "those words are from it! It's to help us practice."
"Yes! Yes, I'm ah, I'm teaching them Italian!" Copia chimed in, saving the boys from answering. "They're practicing. I gave them Italian words as names to call them and they're having to look through the dictionary to find out what they mean. You never know if you'll tour in Italy! You'll want to know the language there if you want to have the most success converting people." Copia paused, spreading his arms into a shrug with a sheepish look, "...right?"
Papa Nihil only narrowed his eyes suspiciously.
"Well, I think that's a marvelous idea!" Sister Imperator clapped her hands together, "See, Papa Nihil? He hasn't even been here a day and he's already making changes for the better. Now, let's go finish up that paperwork before the day draws to a close. We don't have time to waste with your upcoming performances!"
Nihil and Sister made their leave back down the hallway, leaving the four boys relieved.
"Whew, good save!" Terzo mimed wiping sweat off his brow. "Saying the names were Italian words so he wouldn't be suspicious, that was a good idea."
"Well..." Copia rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, glancing away as a light blush covered his cheeks.
"...did you have us choose our names from an Italian book?" Primo looked at Copia, raising an eyebrow.
Copia looked down sheepishly. "maybe..."
"Well?" Secundo looked at the youngest boy expectedly.
"What?"
"Well, what do our names mean?" Secundo elaborated.
"Oh," Copia said, before sighing. "You guys are gonna kill me for this..." Copia murmured. "Your name," he pointed to Primo, "means First."
There was a moment of silence, and then a surprised laugh burst from Terzo's chest.
"Are you kidding me?" Terzo laughed full-heartedly at his older brother who looked very unamused. "We were trying to name ourselves anything but our titles and somehow you still managed to name yourself something very related to it!"
"Yours are the same." Copia rushed out, stopping Terzo and Secundo in their tracks as they made fun of their brother.
"What?!" the two cried in unison.
"Secundo is Second," Copia would have thought that one was obvious if he was being honest, "and Terzo is Third."
"Hah," Primo smirked at his younger brothers, who just groaned.
"I can't believe this." Terzo dragged a hand down his face. "I can't believe you let us name ourselves that."
"You liked the names!" Copia threw up his hands defensively, "not my place to judge! And I was honest, their meaning aside, I think they sound nice and they do fit you!"
"Well, I suppose..." Secundo shrugged. "Anythings better than being called Papa Emeritus all the time. I think I'll keep mine."
"Mine too" Terzo nodded.
"Mine as well." Primo agreed.
"See!" Copia beamed, "It's not so bad!"
"Terzo is a lot better than Kazoo!" Primo ruffled his brother's hair, before turning and beginning to walk down the hallway, "now come on, we're going to be late for dinner!"
"Kazoo..?" Copia asked confusedly, trailing off after the brothers as they walked away through the ministry.