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Shouto always knew he had been intimidating, hell that was what he was trying to go for, but he never actually thought of himself as scary . Scary things were like killer clowns in horror movies, random sounds when you’re home alone, or even when something jumps out at you in a haunted house.
But apparently the line between intimidating and terrifying was a lot thinner than he thought. Instead of people being nervous that Shouto was a better competitor than them, it was brought to his attention that they feared that he would lash out at them and bite. Like how people viewed Bakugou in his first year, they were scared that Shouto would attack them and do anything just to get to the top.
Shouto knew that that wasn’t true. He never wanted to actually hurt anyone, no matter how big of a competition they proved themselves to be. Sure he would get frustrated or mad, but Shouto wouldn’t do anything to try and hinder their abilities. He was impressed with his classmates, so he always wanted to be better through his own skills, not by cheating. How did he give that impression to people?
I.
The first time someone told him he was scary was when he was in the common room. A few of his fellow classmates were sitting around the living space, each doing their own thing. Kaminari and Kirishima were currently in a Smash Bros tournament, Sero and Mina were sabotaging them in any way they could, and Izuku was watching from his spot on Shouto’s shoulder. He had his arms wrapped around Shouto’s bicep and his cheek squished against his shoulder as he cheered on both of the boys while Shouto read his book. Frankenstein by Mary Shelly.
As Shouto turned the page, Kaminari glanced over to the two of them and laughed a little, “It is crazy to think you two became friends. I never expected it.”
Shouto wasn’t really paying attention until Izuku lifted his head from his shoulder a little bit, causing green curls to tickle his cheek. “What do you mean?” Izuku asked curiously while Shouto looked up.
The blond boy shrugged, “I mean, you were this adorable ball of sunshine and Todoroki was so scary and brooding. Like the walking embodiment of a haunted house.”
Kirishima bumped Kaminari’s arm in a quiet ‘ Be nice ’, but Kaminari was quick to defend himself, “Oh come on, you guys didn’t think Todoroki was scary?”
“Maybe a little in first year.” Sero admitted with an easy grin. Shouto furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.
Mina hummed, “I thought he was dreamy, but yeah, I would get scared sometimes.” She ruffled Kirishima’s hair to distract him from the game, causing him to whine and frantically push random buttons.
Izuku shrugged and laid his head back down on Shouto’s shoulders, “He’s not scary, he’s just shy.” He reached up and pinched Shouto’s cheek, which Shouto scrunched his face at and brushed away.
“I’m not.” Shouto insisted, the warmth in his cheeks making him look down at his book.
Izuku just laughed and looked back at Kaminari, “He has a hard shell, but I managed to break it.”
Kaminari snickered, “And break all your bones, huh?”
That caused the rest of the group to giggle as well, but Shouto didn’t like the conversation. Why were they talking like he wasn’t there? Also, he knew he wasn’t actually scary. His classmates were being foolish, they were just intimidated by him. Not scared. Right?
II.
Fall was always Shouto’s favorite season. It was never too hot or too cold, the trees turned a beautiful shade of orange or red, and he could wear all the sweaters he wanted. He never cared much for the holidays of fall, however. Halloween was not a staple tradition in the Todoroki household because Endeavor said it was foolish and that the candy would mess up his diet. Luckily, Shouto never thought he had a huge sweet tooth anyway. Thanksgiving was acknowledged, but it wasn’t really celebrated. Sure their dinner was a little bigger, but they never had family over or went around the table saying that they were thankful for anything.
His class, however, loved autumn for its holidays.
Shouto learned that in their first year when Izuku had forced him into wearing a vampire costume and going ‘Trick or treating’ with him and their friend group. That was the day Shouto had discovered that he did, in fact, have a huge sweet tooth. Chocolate was a delicacy he had no idea he was missing out on, and he ended up eating so much that night that he had made himself sick, despite Izuku’s warnings.
Shouto, Uraraka, Tsu, and Izuku were in Izuku’s dorm, all scattered around. Shouto was laying down on his bed, Uraraka sat at his desk, and Izuku and Tsu were laying on the floor. They were all making different decorations to be hung up in the dorm, except Shouto who was just there because he had been there before the girls arrived. Shouto hadn’t really been a part of the conversation since he had fallen asleep in the bed, but when he woke up, he heard them all chatting about Halloween.
“Are you seriously going to be a ghostbuster for Halloween? What year is it?” Uraraka asked in a joking tone, causing Izuku’s cheeks to flush in embarrassment as he laughed.
He shrugged, “I think it would be funny! I was a ghost last year, this year I’ll be a ghostbuster!”
Tsu let out a ribbit and croaked, “I think you can do better than that. And besides, don’t you want to impress Todoroki?”
That made Shouto confused. Why would Izuku try to impress him? However, Izuku’s face turned red and he quickly looked over at him, so Shouto shut his eyes again so he would look like he was asleep.
“Don’t say that so loud! He’s right there!” Izuku whispered poorly, gesturing towards him.
Uraraka scrunched her face in confusion, “You guys have been dating for, like, two months. Why are you so embarrassed?”
Izuku let out a strained grumble in response and Uraraka huffed. Tsu gave a nonchalant shrug and went back to cutting out a bat, “I’m just saying. He might like to see you dressed as something cuter.”
Izuku huffed, “What do you think I should wear, then?”
“Hmm,” Uraraka hummed in thought, puffing her cheeks as she concentrated on the face she was painting on a piece of orange paper cut into the shape of a pumpkin. “Do you want to wear something sexy? You could be like.. A sexy doctor.”
“Absolutely not.” Izuku said quickly, causing Uraraka to giggle.
Tsu finished cutting out her bat and she held up the black piece of paper, “What if you were a bat? Or you could be a vampire like he was?”
Izuku sighed, “I dunno, would that be good enough? I don’t want him to think I’m copying him.”
They sat in a comfortable silence after that and let the music they were playing fill the air. The Monster Mash was the current song of choice and Shouto almost fell back asleep. However, the conversation confused him.
Why were they trying to keep it a secret from him? Why did Izuku want to impress him? It made no sense.
“Do you know what he’s being?”
Uraraka’s voice broke the silence and halted his thoughts as he began to listen to them again.
Izuku smiled, “He said he was going to do his own costume this year. I feel like a proud mother.”
Uraraka grew excited and she grinned widely, “So, so cute!! Do you think he’ll go for something scary? I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard for him.”
“Huh?” Izuku asked curiously, tilting his head. Shouto had to stop himself from sitting up to listen better.
Tsu glanced at Uraraka and looked back at Izuku, “She didn’t mean anything bad, it’s just that Todoroki was a little scary when school first started. Y’know, with the mean looks and his edgy costume.” Her tone was light but blunt as she explained, and Izuku looked even more confused and almost a little mad.
“He was never scary , just…” He trailed off, pressing his lips together. Shouto was stiff under the covers, his eyes pressed closed so he wouldn’t have to see Izuku’s expression anymore. This couldn’t be true.
“Deku, don’t you remember how terrified you were of him? You literally thought he was gonna beat you up when he pulled you aside from the sports festival.” Uraraka reminded Izuku, her tone sounding kind as well.
Izuku was quick to defend himself, “I wasn’t terrified of him! I was nervous because an attractive but very intimidating guy that happened to hate my guts was pulling me aside! And even then, you know how I used to be with Kacchan. It’s natural for me to get nervous when a dude that wants to prove himself better than me pulls me aside.”
“So, you were scared of him?” Tsu asked. Shouto longed to see her expression, but he refused to even peek his eyes open.
Izuku sighed and Shouto heard a shuffle of papers, “Maybe I was a little scared of him because of the way he looked at me like he was planning my downfall, but that was just in that moment. And Shou doesn’t like being scary on purpose, so I don’t think he’s going to dress as anything scary.”
Shouto decided he had enough. He wanted to go back to his dorm and be by himself, not surrounded by people who feared him. He pretended to stir awake, scrunching his face and sleepily sitting up. That caught the attention of the other three people in the room, including Izuku who perked up with a nervous smile.
“Shou! Sorry, did we wake you up?” His boyfriend asked, his voice shaking a little like it did when he was hiding something.
Shouto just shrugged and rubbed his eyes, “It’s fine, I didn’t mean to fall asleep here anyway.” That was a lie, Shouto loved to come to Izuku’s dorm and just sleep as much as he wanted in his bed while his boyfriend did homework or read a book. He sighed and looked up at the others, “I’m going to go to my dorm. I can’t stay the night.”
Izuku furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and concern, but he didn’t pry. Shouto wasn’t a big people person, it wasn’t an uncommon thing for him to decide he was over hanging out. “Oh, okay. Um. I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
He hummed and got off the bed, being careful not to step on any of the decorations that were strewn around the room. Uraraka spoke up, “Don’t forget tomorrow’s Halloween! We’re all gonna meet up in the common room at six.”
Shouto just nodded and said his goodbyes as quickly as he could. He needed to get out of that dorm, away from Izuku’s nervous fidgeting and Tsu’s careful gaze. And he needed to find a new costume because there was no way he was going to go as Ghostface now. Not when he knew so many people already feared him.
III .
Halloween was a treasured holiday around the dorms. It was the one night where the class all got together to have a party and forget about their strict diets for a single night in favor of candy, greasy pizza, and whatever snacks Kaminari and Mina found at the local store. Satou made all kinds of Halloween sweets, such as marshmallow ghosts and a cake that looked like a brain.
Shouto stood in front of a mirror in Momo’s room, fixing his waist coat and his hair. After vaguely telling her that he needed to change his costume as soon as possible, Momo was able to make a quick costume. He was a pirate, wearing an airy long sleeve shirt under a brown waistcoat. He was also wearing cream colored baggy pants that tucked into shiny back boots and he even had a sword tucked into a sheath in his belt. The most important part of his costume, however, was the large eye patch that covered his left eye and most of his scar. It actually kind of helped him see better, which made Shouto realize he needed to go to an eye doctor soon. With some extra pirate accessories, including a bandana wrapped around his head and a pirate hat that he felt incredibly dumb wearing, Shouto’s costume was complete.
Momo was putting some kind of makeup on his face to make him look both grimey and attractive at the same time, which Shouto didn’t understand the appeal of. She fussed with his hair as she spoke, “I still don’t understand why you didn’t want to go as Ghostface. I thought you were excited to wear the mask and everything.”
Shouto shrugged and put his hands in his pockets, “I just didn’t want to scare anyone. And what if it was too childish?” He asked, glancing at Momo and quickly closing his eyes again as she continued to put makeup on his face. It felt like she was doing more than just adding dirt, but whatever.
“Shouto, I wouldn’t worry about that. Kaminari’s being Pikachu, Mina’s being Princess Bubblegum, and I think Tokoyami is being Edward Scissorhands.” Momo assured him, putting something on his eye and almost making him flinch away.
“I don’t know who any of those are.” Shouto breathed out with a frown. “And it feels like you’re poking my eyes.”
Momo let out a breath of a laugh and he could hear the smile in her voice as she told him to look up. She put something in his water line and a bit under his eye before using a brush to blend it out. “I’m just making you extra pretty for Midoriya, since you don’t want to be scary .” She teased.
Shouto sighed and let her do as she pleased. Eventually, she finished and handed him a mirror as she packed up her makeup bag. He was a little surprised to see his reflection. The “dirt” was smeared on his face in a way that looked messy but in just the right way. However, the shocking part was his eyes. He had smudged eyeliner around his eye and in his waterline, extending his lash line and making his eye look more defined.
He looked back up at Momo with a concerned furrow in his brow, “Are you sure I don’t look scary?”
Momo made a weird face and shook her head, “I don’t know what’s got you so worked up, but you look fine. You look pretty with the makeup, not scary. I promise.” She held out her pinkie to him with a small smile.
Pinky promises had become a staple in their friendship purely on accident. Shouto didn’t exactly remember when they first started depending on them, but he honestly couldn’t imagine them promising anything to each other without interlocking their pinkies first. Even over silly things like this or a swear to share notes after class, they always did it. Even if it made Shouto feel like he was five again, he still locked his pinky with Momo’s and nodded hesitantly.
Her smile grew larger and she let go of his hand to set her makeup down on her vanity. She caught sight of his reflection in the mirror and let out an exaggerated sigh, “You men and your slutty waists. Let’s go see the class.”
Shouto had no idea how to comprehend that, but he nodded and stood up, taking in his friend’s costume. She was dressed as Blackfire from Teen Titans. Her hair was down and cascading down her back and she was wearing a black crop top that matched both her mini skirt and thigh high boots with silver details. She had silver cuffs on her hands and her bangs were curled to look like the superhero’s(?) did, but she had something that looked like silver armor that covered any skin that might be exposed from the neck down, aside from her hands.
She looked good, even if Shouto really had no idea who she was supposed to be. He followed Momo out of her dorm with his silly hat tucked under his arm as they made their way to the common room.
The whole room was decorated with various Halloween decorations. The walls were lined with black and orange paper chains, paper bats and skeletons and pumpkins hung from the ceiling, the normal lights were dimmed and orange and purple string lights lit up the room with a spooky glow. The couch had throw pillows with different haunted house designs on them and millions of fluffy blankets strewn across it as well as the floor in front of the TV. The plan was to have a Halloween party that turned into a slumber party at the end for just 2A.
All of his classmates and then some were all over the place, and Shouto was almost overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people. He recognized everyone in his class, but some of them were vaguely familiar from the sports festival. Kaminari did a good job of spreading the invites, then.
Shouto walked away from Momo to search for his boyfriend. He pushed past people until he eventually found himself in the kitchen. There, he found Izuku laughing with a student from the support class. His boyfriend was wearing a black shirt, black jeans, and a leather jacket, and his hair was still unruly, but it was styled to stick up and reveal his full face. It took him a moment, but Shouto finally noticed the silver bolts on the side of Izuku’s neck, along with the stitches that wrapped around his neck and down his cheek.
He was Frankenstein’s monster.
Shouto couldn’t help the smile that came to his face as he watched Izuku from afar, leaning against a counter behind him after getting himself a cup of the crimson punch from the large glass bowl. It tasted very fruity so Shouto assumed it wasn’t real blood.
Izuku laughed at something the girl said, grabbing her arm like he tended to do when he thought something was funny. The girl laughed with him and Shouto felt something warm spread over him as he admired his boyfriend. He considered walking over to show his boyfriend his admiration, but he didn’t want to interrupt their conversation. If he did, Izuku would stop laughing so hard.
Shouto decided to keep nursing his not-blood as he did some people watching. There was plenty of mingling going on between his classmates. Momo had found Jirou, who was dressed as Raven, and he watched as they interacted with each other. Jirou tucked herself into Momo’s side, leaning up to whisper things that made Momo bat her away but laugh at the same time. He smiled at that and held his cup up to finish off the punch and go for a refill.
As he walked closer to the punch bowl, a more unfamiliar classmate was filling up a cup of her own. She looked up as he walked closer and she gasped, “Oh! You’re Shouto Todoroki!”
Shouto froze for a moment but stiffly nodded, quickly going to reach for the punch himself, “Yeah.”
She grinned, “It’s nice to meet you!! This is my first year here. I’ve watched, like, all of your sports festivals,” He’s only been in two, so that’s not a very honorable feat, “and I have to say, you’re so much more handsome in person! I always thought you would be big and scary like your dad.” The girl rambled on about how impressive he was, but Shouto stopped listening. Scary like his dad?
Shouto always knew he was compared to his father by the public. It was pretty much unavoidable when you come from a famous family and literally half of you looks like your father. However, he never liked to hear about it. Especially not like this. Scary like his father? This recent discovery was slowly beginning to become more and more apparent in his everyday life. People really thought he was scary like Endeavor.
You’re just like him.
No, no, he was different. Shouto would never try to make people feel the way Endeavor did.
You are feared.
All Shouto wanted to do was protect people, not hurt them.
No matter what you do, you’ll always be him.
Endeavor.
You’re no hero.
This isn’t true. It couldn’t be.
All you do is hurt the people around you.
No, he wanted to protect them. Protect them.
You’ll always be like Endeavor.
He’s nothing like his father.
Scary.
No..
Monster.
Threatening.
“Shou?”
Shouto suddenly became very aware of his surroundings. There was a warm hand resting on the small of his back and his vision was slowly coming back to him. His hands were gripping the counter so hard his knuckles were white and he was leaving handprints because of how clammy they were. His breathing was too quick, he couldn’t get air in, he couldn’t breathe -
“Shouto.” The grounding voice beside him made him let out a shaky breath. He realized he couldn’t see his face because of the eye patch, but Shouto was much like Patroclus in that he could recognize Izuku by his touch alone, his smell.
The girl was gone. Where was she? Did he scare her away too? What happened? He didn’t mean to hurt anyone, he didn’t mean to scare anyone, he just wants to help, he just wants to help .
“I know, Shou. Let’s go to the bathroom, okay?”
Had he said something? Shouto barely nodded, his gaze staying forward as he stared at the cabinet with an empty stare. Izuku gently took his hand and laced their fingers together as he led him through the crowd. Lots of people were none the wiser about what had happened— what had happened? — and simply moved out the way so the couple could move through with ease. Shouto kept his sight on Izuku’s back so he wouldn’t make eye contact with anyone.
Eventually, they made it to the bathroom of the common room. Izuku shut the door behind them after Shouto walked in and moved to stand beside him. He gently guided Shouto to sit on the floor with him and the taller boy naturally let him do so. His head fell to Izuku’s sturdy shoulder as he sat beside him with his knees to his chest, and his eyes fluttered closed as his boyfriend took off his stupid pirate bandana to card his fingers through red and white locks. They stayed quiet for a bit, but Izuku never did like complete silence.
“What happened back there?”
His voice was so warm. So warm . Who could ever fear Izuku? From the moment Shouto had met him, Izuku had always been inviting. He was cozy, safe, and warm . He was finally beginning to understand Kaminari’s confusion on how the two of them became friends.
“Hey,” Izuku’s voice broke him out of his thoughts for a moment and his other hand came up to poke his forehead, “what’s going on in that head of yours? I can see the gears turning.” He teased, putting his arm around Shouto’s shoulders and allowing him to tuck further into his side.
Shouto closed his eyes and looked down at their laps, “You’re so amazing. You make people genuinely feel happy. Protected. Safe. People don’t.. fear you. You’re always compared to All Might because of your power, never Dabi. Never Endeavor.” He curled into himself more and his face tightened. Izuku stayed quiet, his grip loosening as Shouto began to pull away and his hand going to rest on the nape of his neck instead of in his hair.
“People are scared of me.” The words were spilling out of Shouto’s mouth at this point. “They think I want to hurt them for my own benefit. But I don’t . I want to be a hero, I want to protect them,” His voice broke and a sharp breath came out of him as tears formed and began to fall. “I don’t want people to be scared of me. I don’t want them to see me the way they see Endeavor. No one should feel the way he makes people feel, the way he makes me feel.”
A reassuring hum came from Izuku and Shouto barely whispered, “I don’t want to be scary, Izuku,” before he let his head fall into his arms as sobs wracked through his body. Shouto ran his hands into his hair to try and ground himself, but he grew frustrated when it didn’t work and he gripped it instead.
Izuku began to gently rub his back, letting him get everything out. Shouto gave up on talking because he knew it would only come out as unintelligible mumbles, but it was like Izuku could hear everything in his mind. Each circle the boy’s hand made on his back pulled a thought out of his head, and eventually the sobs became small sniffles and his face began to feel numb and red.
“People don’t think you’re scary.” Izuku suddenly broke the silence in a soft tone. Shouto let himself look up at him in confusion. Had he not been listening this whole time?
As he was about to protest, Izuku quickly silenced him, “In our first year, you were distant. You were cold, quite literally, and intimidating. People didn’t fear you , they feared what the son of Endeavor could do.” He gently nudged Shouto’s shoulder as an offer for him to sink back into his side.
Shouto hesitated but he leaned into the embrace. “I am the son of Endeavor. No one’s scared of Natsuo, they’re just scared of me .”
“Oh, Shou,” Izuku’s cheek came to rest on Shouto’s head and he simply closed his eyes, “People don’t fear you. They fear what they think of you, but you are so much more than that. Just having a conversation with you shows you’re not scary.”
A sigh escaped Shouto’s chest as he listened to Izuku. He knew what he was trying to say, but he just didn’t believe him. And there was still something bothering him. “You were scared of me. Of the way I look.”
Izuku furrowed his eyebrows and Shouto could practically feel the shock from the boy. He pulled away slightly, “What? What makes you think that?”
“You told Uraraka you were scared of me because of the way I looked at you. And that I was attractive and powerful so you were scared of me.”
The warmth of Izuku’s body suddenly moved away from him and Shouto looked up in a hurt confusion, but he found Izuku staring at him with a perplexed expression. Then, he watched as the realization dawned on his face, “You were awake. You weren’t asleep.”
Shouto frowned further and his breathing started to get faster and shakier, “So it’s true? You really did fear me. Do you still? I don’t want you to feel unsafe, that’s not what boyfriends are supposed to do. I knew I was right, I’m a monster.”
Izuku frantically turned his body so they were facing each other. He gently took Shouto’s arms, “Hey, hey. That’s not what I meant.” He let Shouto hold him tightly as he grounded himself again, and once he calmed down, Izuku began again, “I was just upset because I didn’t want you to know about that conversation. I didn’t want you to take it the wrong way.”
That made Shouto more angry than sad. “How was I supposed to take it then, Izuku?”
Izuku sighed softly and reached his hand up to cup the left side of Shouto’s face. He reached up to pull the eyepatch off of his boyfriend’s eye as he began, “Todoroki Shouto. You are the most handsome, kind, and sweetest guy I’ve ever met. When we first met, I was intimidated by your power. You’re Todoroki Shouto . I felt unworthy to even think about you.
“So yes, I was a little scared of you. I knew you wouldn’t hurt me, but you also didn’t really like me. I was more scared that you would surpass me and my goals. I was never scared because of your face, your scar , or your story.”
Izuku leaned in and pressed their forehead together and Shouto looked into his eyes. Izuku smiled and looked right back.
and I.
“Your beauty never ever scared me, Shouto.”
That made Shouto start to cry again. This time, instead of pulling away, he collapsed into Izuku’s arms, gripping his shirt tightly and letting his boyfriend hold him as he cried into his shoulder. Izuku just let him, holding him back just as tightly and kissing half toned hair.
Shouto didn’t know how long they sat on the bathroom floor, but it was long enough for his classmates to give them knowing looks when they walked out together. The eyeliner Momo had put on him was messily smeared on his cheek from his futile attempt to wipe away the dark tracks his tears had left, his hair was messier than it had been before, and Izuku’s hand was not leaving his. Izuku’s face flushed at the attention they were getting, but luckily people moved on quickly after laughing it off and went back to dancing to whatever Michael Jackson song was playing.
The rest of the night went by in a much more pleasant way. Shouto found out that he had started going into a panic attack after that girl had called him scary, and luckily Izuku was still in the kitchen so he was quick to try and snap him out of it. The girl had apparently last been seen talking to a guy from the support class, so Shouto assumed she was okay. He wished he learned her name, though. He wanted to apologize for freaking her out, but Izuku assured him that he would get the opportunity to do so later on and to not worry too much about it.
Later on, all the random students left and it was just their class left with a few other people from 2B staying the night. They turned on a horror movie Shouto had never heard of before and Shouto settled onto the couch with Izuku laying on his chest. Their arms were wrapped around each other and Shouto’s hand was idly playing with Izuku’s curls.
He barely made it through the movie, though. He was exhausted from all the drama, so Shouto knocked out about twenty minutes in. Izuku noticed because the hand that had been twirling one of his curls had halted and instead rested on his back. Izuku turned his attention from the movie and looked at his boyfriend’s peaceful face. His nose was still a little pink and the makeup Momo put on him was significantly faded and messy, but he was still beautiful. Shouto was a creature of a natural beauty that Izuku always admired, whether it was on purpose or not. He couldn’t imagine fearing the gorgeous boy beneath him, not when he saw him like this, with his long white and red eyelashes resting on his smooth cheeks and rosy lips parted slightly to let out the faintest snores that Izuku felt more than he could hear. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Shouto’s cheek with a dopey smile.
“Midoriya, stop smooching up your boyfriend and watch the movie.” Uraraka’s hushed voice teased from the armchair beside him, and Izuku’s face flushed heavily.
Izuku playfully rolled his eyes at her and rested his cheek back on Shouto’s peck, and if he had to stop himself from giggling like a school girl when Shouto’s arm came to rest on his waist, that was his business.