Chapter Text
Kai: how should you treat your girlfriend/wife?
Kuroo: take her to fanciest restaurants, women like fish at expensive places
Yaku: what? Why would you just assume that all women like fish? And btw chicken tastes better
Yamamato: *red and in his own world* if I had a girlfriend, which I don't, but if I did, she would be my queen
Inuoka and Shibayama: me too!
Kai: ah I'm asking people who do have a girlfriend or wife though...so let's start again.
Daishou: women like a sincere man. Show her that you care about your goals and she will love you for who you are
Tanaka: you have to show her she's important in your life! Also, don't show her your mean side! You'll scare her away
Oikawa: shit I forgot I have a girlfriend *gets hit with a volleyball* yeah pay attention to her that's right?
Ushijima: firstly the seed must be fertile
Kai: ...
Ushijima: by that I mean, women like physically endowed men so you have to do the difficult chores for her
Bokuto: *gasp* I know what endowed means, it means have a nice butt!
Akaashi: yes, bokuto san
Komi and konoha: um can we get back to answering the question so we know what to do if we have a girlfriend?
Kai: yes please
Sasaya: if she works and you don't work, you have to be the best house husband there ever was! Make sure your babies eat and sleep enough
Santana: I wanted to prove to her that I was the best at volleyball to make her proud. Honestly though, if a woman knows you're willing to try hard, she will love and cherish you. So, try your hardest in VOLLEYBALL
*All haikyuu characters cheer*
Kai: wow there is really good advice here. Is anyone else here married or have a girlfriend?
*the 50+ guys shrug*
Terushima: so-
Everyone: nobody asked you
Coach Ukai: i gave in. I'm married. No I don't know how to do this shit. But I love her even if we argue every other week. The only advice I have to you is, volleyball is a sport where you're always looking up…did you really think I had advice for you on marriage?