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The executives had agreed on a schedule, a rotation on who was assigned to take care of Takemichi for the day. This would've been good and all except for one thing— Wednesday was Sanzu's day.
Said pinkett was tapping his foot impatiently with his arms crossed, matching the glare Kakucho was giving him while the scarred man bounced a preoccupied Takemichi in his arms. After another full minute of silent staring, Sanzu scoffed, rolling his eyes. "For god's sake, Hitto, I'm not gonna kill the kid. You already confiscated my sword and my gun, what else do you want from me?"
"A sane and sound mind," came the dry reply.
A snort. "In your wildest dreams."
"That would mean I'd ever dream of you."
"You wound me. Hand me the kid."
"He is a person ."
"I am aware ."
Another long moment of silence.
Sanzu was at the end of his patience when Kakucho finally huffed and slowly lowered the kid to the floor. "Behave," he mumbled gently to the kid and repeated it reprimandingly to the adult. The pinkett bared his teeth in a smile and waved the other man away. When the raven finally turned the corner with one last stink eye behind his shoulder, Sanzu finally looked down at the boy tugging on his pants.
"Sanzu-kun! Sanzu, Zuzu!" A giggle. "Zuzu, up, up!"
The man raised a brow at the hands doing grabby motions at him. He easily lifted the boy with a wide grin, settling him against his hip before walking down the other end of the hall towards his office. "Zuzu, huh? That's new. Does Mitchy have a new favourite now?"
The boy shook his head, giggling. "No, but Zuzu is really pretty, Zuzu has stars on lips!"
The pink haired man tilted his head. "Did you mean scars, kid?"
"Nuh-uh, stars. Stars look like diamonds, and Zuzu has diamonds on his mouth, so stars!"
Sanzu was surprised at that, finding the analogy slightly refreshing as opposed to the usual disguted and offensive shit he's used to. He hummed, smiling a little. "You know, no one has ever said it like that."
Takemichi gripped the older’s vest tighter, leaning forward with a determined look on his round face. "Zuzu is very pretty."
Sanzu threw his head back in laughter, reaching up to ruffle the other’s fluffy black locks. "Well I think Takemichi is very pretty as well."
"No, Mitchy is beautiful!" Takemichi pouted, crossing his arms.
"Ah, yes, forgive me. Takemichi is beautiful, very, very beautiful." He pushed the door to his office open, grin growing wider. "Say, does the very, very beautiful Mitchy want to play a game?"
Chubby arms wrapped his neck in a headlock as the boy yelled an affirmative into his ear. It was only survival instinct (he's been on the wrong side of Mikey’s kicks multiple times, some well deserved and others just an outcome of shitty luck) that he didn't fling the kid away.
Koko was worried. He had the right to be worried.
Making his way to their resident loose screw's office, he had a bunch of scenarios playing in his head; the next worse than the last. However, none of them prepared him for what he found when he entered the room.
A blink.
He rubbed his eyes.
He cleared his throat, hoping he sounded casual. "Sanzu."
The pinkett looked up, arching a brow. "Yeah?"
"What's happening right now?"
A wave of the hand over the setup. "We're playing golf. Or cricket, whatever it's called."
Koko felt his smile strain further, eyes twitching. "That is a billiards table."
"No shit, Sherlock."
"No cursing."
"Sherlock has a zoomy glass thing," Takemichi piped in, discarding the metal ruler he was using as a golf club to grab the ball he was aiming at, lifting it to his eye and mimicking a magnifying glass. He frowned at the ball and dropped it inside the closest hole. "Can't see through that one."
"No, you can't—" Koko paused when he saw a blob of white bounce into the air when Takemichi dropped the ball and took in a sharp breath before strutting forward. "Alright, that's it. I'm taking Takemichi away from you."
Sanzu stood up straight at that, fumbling with the ladle he held. Where he even got it, Koko didn't even want to think about it. "Wai—why?!"
A scoff and an eye roll. Koko picked up the boy by the armpits and propped him on his hip, the boy easily snuggling into his side. "Because you have all those pills scattered around and he already refers to them as gummies, I am not gonna have him become a druggie this young."
"Oh, please, he's had some before!"
"As an adult !"
A click of the tongue. "You coddle him too much."
Koko directed a glare at the other man, lifting a menacing finger and poking the pinkett in the chest. "You were literally peeling off the skin of the grapes for him during breakfast this morning, you are not one to talk."
"Excuse me, I spoil him."
"And how is that different?"
"Dude, I don't know, I ain't the smart sibling!"
A scoff. "Obviously."
Teal eyes narrowed. "You wanna go head to head, snakeface?"
"Name a time and place, Joker wannabe."
"Koko-kun, Zuzu, Mitchy wants grapes again."
And just like that, the men were suddenly preoccupied with something else other than planning how to slowly torture the other.
"I can peel more for you if you want, I left a couple stalks in my mini fridge." Sanzu was already going through his fridge. Koko had somehow procured a juicebox out of thin air and was holding it in front of the boy. "Do you want a juice box, too?"
Ran, who happened to be passing by, stopped to check what the commotion was about and snorted. "Weak shits," he mumbled
"WE HEARD THAT," was the chorused reply. Takemichi let out a little giggle. Ran simply walked away.
Sanzu wouldn’t admit it out loud, not at death’s door or at Mikey’s feet— to rephrase, not at Mikey’s feet, that he had enjoyed taking care of Takemichi and had missed the feeling of taking care of a younger sibling. Feeling a little sentimental, he was just about to enter his office, hands carrying a new bowl of freshly peeled grapes, when he heard a crash from inside. There was a yelp that sounded awfully like Rindou. "O—oi, Takemichi, what'cha got there, bud?"
"Kaku-chan's toy!" came the boy’s joyful response. Another yelp, this time sounding like Koko. "KAKUCHO, WHY DOES TAKEMICHI HAVE YOUR KNIFE?!"
Another crash.
"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! RINDOU, CATCH HIM!"
"HELL NO, HE'S SWINGING THE KNIFE AROUND WHILE GIGGLING!"
"IF HE GETS A SINGLE SCRATCH ON HIM, MIKEY WILL HAVE OUR HEADS FOR DINNER AND OUR HEARTS FOR DESSERT, NOW FUCKING RUN !"
Something crashed to the floor. It was definitely expensive by the sound of it. A scream from Rindou. "AH, SHIT!"
"STOP FUCKING SWEARING AROUND HIM, HE'LL START PICKING 'EM UP!"
A giggle. "Fuck!"
Another crash. "TAKEMICHI, NO ! DAMMIT, GET BACK HERE!"
Sanzu took in two deep breaths, steeling himself, before promptly turning away. The shit in his office were pretty old anyway, he could always buy new stuff. Could Takemichi have found his last stash of weed gums? Maybe, who knows, plausible deniability or whatever. He continued walking even when he heard the loudest crash yet, popping a grape into his mouth. He’ll peel more for the boy later.
Thank fuck he’s only on baby guarding duties on Wednesdays. Kids can be nightmares.