Chapter Text
Billy’s broken.
No. Not broken.
Just..not whole.
He hasn’t been, for a long time. But when his father was paying attention, watching over him, and pressing bruises into his skin, he could pretend he was.
But now his father is in jail, and they’re living in the trailer park, and Susan drinks whilst Maxine cries every night. And they’re not even pretending it’s fine.
And Billy hides Susan’s alcohol, takes Maxine out for ice cream, leaves things at her door to find in the morning. Tells Susan to behave.
He’s trying to pretend, but it’s not working.
And he’s missing something. Something similar to his father’s discipline.
All he can hear, when he thinks about it, is his mother’s last words to him,
“You’ll understand when you’re older.”
It’s late, Susan’s passed out in bed, Max is checking she’s not dead. He creeps in there,
“Alive?” He asks. Max nods, tears in her eyes. He’s fed up of her tears. Susan doesn’t deserve them. But he scoops her into his arms like she’s three and not thirteen, and he’s a lot bigger than he is. He wobbles a little under her weight, and she grips him tighter.
He feels needed, and for a moment, he can imagine being whole.
He carries her back to her bed and promises her everything will be ok. And he can tell she doesn’t believe him.
He doesn’t blame her.
“You’ll understand when you’re older.”
Steve Harrington is staring at him.
That’s fine. They’ve been talking more and more since they were forced together.
But he’s looking concerned . As if he’s going to march over and ask if Billy’s ok.
Which is also fine. They’re friends.
Kind of.
So, if he were to do that, it would be fine. Nice, even.
Except..Billy’s pretty sure he’d burst into tears if Harrington so much as approached him.
“You’ll understand when you’re older.”
Susan is making food when Billy gets back. Maxine went to the skatepark, so the house is empty except for them.
“You drunk?” He asks her. She shakes her head,
“No. No more of that.” She smiles as her hands shake.
Billy glares at her,
“Don’t say things you can’t follow through on.”
She shrugs, carries on cooking. He only hopes she doesn’t tell Maxine the same thing.
She does, and Max stops crying. Billy spends the next few days begging any power that’ll listen that she doesnt let Maxine down.
Steve starts sitting at his table in school. He doesn’t talk, and the kids he usually sits with watch curiously.
Billy can’t take much more.
“You’ll understand when you’re older.”
Billy comes home to screaming. Maxine and Susan are arguing, Susan holding a bottle of wine in her hand. Max is sobbing.
Neither of them see him, and he knows it’s selfish, but hops into the car and drives back away.
He goes to the quarry. Not to kill himself, he’s got too much responsibility for that shit, but to look.
Window shopping, he guesses.
He stands at the edge of the cliff, staring into the water below.
“You’ll understand when you’re older,” his mom said.
Those words have always annoyed him. Every year he’s reflected, but never has it come to him. He is older. He should know.
But he doesn’t, and it kills him to think she didn’t know what she was saying.
“Thought you might come here,” Steve says, from behind him.
He smiles, turns to the other kid,
“Just browsing, promise.” He says.
“Good.”
He moves away from the edge, over to Harrington, who’s giving him a look of concern,
“My dad’s gone.” He says, simply.
“Good.” Harrington repeats, “and are you ok?”
He laughs, “supposed to be.”
“Supposed to?”
“School ends next week, right?”
Steve nods, “sure.”
“Why don’t you pack a bag?” He asks.
“To go where?”
“Just pack the bag, Harrington.”
When he gets home, glass is scattered across the lawn. He knows Susan wouldn’t come near Max with it all, but it still pains him to see it all.
She’s out cold on the sofa, and Maxine is in her room, sniffing quietly.
“Why does she do it?“ she asks, “is it me?”
“No, Maxine. It’s not you. She’s just unhappy.”
“Why aren’t we enough?”
Billy’s touched max included him, but he knows she means herself, “Because she’s sick,” he says. And maybe that is the best way to describe it. Sick.
Billy’s sure he’s sick, too. Just not in the same way.
“You’ll understand when you’re older.”
Fucking mothers.
They pass. Billy’s grades are lower than expected, but Harrington manages to scrape by, barely. He’s positive it was down to Billy’s help, which is dumb, seeing as they only studied together a handful of times, but he’s so grateful, despite his dad saying they weren’t enough to work for him.
Jonathan Byers invites them all to her house to party, and Joyce lets them drink. It’s the most fun. Billy’s had in ages, and no-one’s judging him for being there. They’re just smiling, and laughing, and no-one’s drunk enough to smash things on the lawn, or yell that they wished none of them ever existed.
It’s fantastic.
2 days after the party, Susan tells Billy she hates him more than Neil.
And it’s not unexpected, seeing as Susan’s drunk and aggressive, but he’s so tired of it all, it hits harder than it should.
She storms away to drink more, and he can’t do this anymore.
So he lets the tears roll from his cheeks, and slips into Max’s room,
“Pack a bag, Maxine.” He says. She looks at him, curious, and mature beyond her years, and nods. He helps her shovel clothes into her bag, and pays attention to her instructions.
Half an hour later, they’re both packed. They sneak out through Max’s window, and take Susan’s car instead of the Camaro, since it’s quieter.
They reach Steve’s house in record time, with virtually no comment on how fast he’s been moving.
He tells Max to stay in the car, and knocks carefully.
Steve smiles, upon seeing Billy.
“Hi. What’s-“
“Did you pack?” He asks, cutting him off.
“I-yeah, I packed.” He picks a bag up from behind the door.
“Good. Coming, then?”
“Where are we going, first?” he asks, but he’s locking his front door already.
“None of your business, Harrington.”
Steve huffs, and opens the passenger’s door, only to find Max sitting there.
“Oh. Hi.” He says. Max rolls her eyes.
“You’re in the back, pretty boy.” Billy tells him.
“Pr-? ok, yeah.” He’s blushing. Billy presses that into the corner of his mind that he does not indulge, and hops into his own side of the car.
And with that, they’re off.