Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Oh God, Phi groaned, get me the hell out of here. She hoped none of the other espers at the wedding reception heard her grumbling thoughts (then again, half of them were drunk and unable to hear their own thoughts). Seeking a way out of this room would prove harder than any death game she'd been in. You guys will be the death of me.

The first half of Akane and Junpei's wedding went smoothly — their thirty-odd guests filed in quietly to the chapel where the lucky couple exchanged their vows. Gab was their ring bearer and they all gave "awww"s and "ahhh"s at the old dog as he scampered down the aisle with the rings hung around his neck. Either side of Phi's seat were people cradling babies. (The baby boom of the late 2020s—early 2030s was not something anyone anticipated.) The second half of the wedding, however...

"Hello there, handsome. Are you single?"

At the reception, Phi was stuck on a table with the Fields. Whoever planned the wedding decided to dump the people responsible for the 2 infant guests in one corner; Phi was responsible for her sister Luna, and (honorary Field) Aoi was supposed to be responsible for his baby nephew Quark. Supposed to, because he eventually got shitfaced and left the kid with his... sister-in-law?... Clover, the sister of his ambiguously-labelled and equally-drunk partner.

"Nope," Aoi replied lightly to Light.

The latter pretended to burst into tears. "My goodness... your lover must be very good-looking and intelligent. But also half-crazy to end up with someone like you."

Clover and Phi exchanged bewildered looks. "Geez... I was hoping they'd hold off for at least another hour." Phi and Luna absent-mindedly nodded at Clover.

"Hope? That's funny," Aoi hiccuped. "I think I heard that word before."

Before being stomped on the foot, Aoi bit back swears and looked to be fighting demons after Quark babbled, hiccuped, and then vomited onto his uncle's suit. The baby fell back into giggles as Clover profusely wiped his mouth with a napkin.

"Don't curse in front of the children," Light laughed.

"Fu...dge." Aoi shook him off with a sharp glare, though there was a fondness behind his eyes. "Where's the lovey-dovey duo? Their baby is taking after his dad."

Good question. Phi took to scanning the hall. There was Diana and Sigma chatting by a table (thanks a lot, Mom and Dad, for leaving me to babysit!), the Kashiwabaras, Eric and Sean (the former looked to be arguing with Alice; Clover left Quark with Phi to investigate), Carlos...

Her eyes met with a pair of soft green ones a couple of feet away from where she sat. Carlos' sister, Maria, Phi noted in her brain. She was a lot like her brother in many ways — blond, sun-kissed, altruistic — but she didn't know her very well. She was about Phi's age, maybe older by a year or two (and her mental age? Carlos said older than his own, what with her having jumped across countless timelines for years). Her form was more diminutive than her brother's (probably thanks to being bedridden for the majority of her reverie, although she was still considerably tall), her face softer and rounder. Phi didn't mean to check her out. But why was Maria staring at her from afar?

The blond broke their stare and resumed her conversation with the Kashiwabara twins. Phi released a sigh she didn't know she was holding.

"Ahhh." Luna let out a coarse sigh, in an effort to imitate her sister.

"Looks like someone has a crush." Aoi grinned like the devil. Light perked his head up at the narrated observation.

"Shut up," Phi sneered. Quark, through his babbles, parroted those words ("bub-up!"), and his two uncles widened their eyes in horror.

"Don't talk like that in front of Quark!" hissed Aoi. "Akane's gonna kill me!"

"Then at least your demise has been delayed." The two babies in her arms wriggled their arms and looked around the room, much like Light was. "The bride and groom seemed to have ditched their own reception."

"So it seems," Light said dismissively. "So, Aoi, would you care to come with me to search for them?"

"Piss— Go away," Aoi smiled. "I'll go deal with you later. At least one Kurashiki needs to be here to handle things."

Phi gagged and almost replicated the scene Quark left on Aoi's outfit. She turned away as the two men continued to flirt shamelessly. ("Did you fart? Because you just blew me away!" "You must be a parking ticket, because you have fine written all over you!"). To think that those two have been in a death game together twice. God damn it. I'm getting out of here.

Her eyes met Maria's again. This time, the tall and fairly pretty girl flashed a smile at Phi. Damn it. In a moment of awkwardness, Phi stood and walked in the opposite direction. She didn't know how that decision would play out and how shutting down Maria's greeting would ripple throughout time. Whatever. I'll worry about it later.

"Hey Alice, Clover, Sean." She nodded her head at the group huddled by the bar. "Eric." She hadn't noticed him until the man greeted her first.

Clover waved her wrists and Phi granted her request by handing her Quark. "Oh, ew. I thought my brother had better taste than to flirt with someone covered in puke."

"He called himself half-crazy. He knows what he's doing," Phi returned. "Anyway, what's going on here?"

Sean turned to her. A chill couldn't help but shiver up Phi's spine; instead of wearing that weird helmet, he had a human face modelled out of something a little more uncanny than ABT. There was something off about how his face didn't fully extend to the back of his head and how he still had circuits for where his ears were supposed to be. This wasn't the first time she saw Sean with a face, but it never did stop being a little unsettling. "We were talking about SOIS."

"Mira's been taken into their custody after that fiasco," Eric said meekly.

"Honestly, you guys were lucky we didn't throw you in the clink," Alice retorted. She was right — after Sean broke Mira out of prison and guided her and Eric to the transporter, the three of them would have been as good as felons to the law. Fortunately for them, Crash Keys stepped in and got their associate organisation SOIS to spare them the sentencing once they were finally caught on the run.

(Telling SOIS about their ulterior motives with Mira and Eric was the least Akane could have done, and her persuasion was helped by how her brother dated one of their agents. But Akane would always conveniently leave the second point out.)

"My wife has been in your custody for weeks!" Dozens of gazes shifted to the voice that overpowered the soft music of the reception. Quietly, Eric spat under his breath, "She might as well just be back in prison."

"But, Eric, you know what Mira has done," the child replied. Phi cringed as she expected the man to flip like a switch, but to her surprise he just quietly shrugged. "It's natural for a government organisation to be keeping an eye on her for a little while."

"And anyway, we've got that meeting tomorrow to mull things over," Alice replied calmly. "Phi. You're coming along too."

"Waiiiii." Luna imitated the sound that left Phi's mouth.

"Because we'll also be doing some morphogenetic field training," Alice cooed to the baby in a doting voice. Luna giggled as she clung onto Alice's finger. The agent stiffened almost immediately as she stood back up to face Phi. "Crash Keys will tell you the details."

Suddenly, the tapping of a wine glass rung throughout the hall. They turned to see Akane and Junpei, who were dressed out of their wedding gear and into less intricate (though still formal) wear.

"Oh!" Clover squealed in delight. "It must be time for the bouquet toss!" Phi noticed the pink-haired girl dart her eyes to her superior.

"Okay, okay, line up, ladies!" Akane called out as she held up a bouquet of clovers, forget-me-nots and daisies. "And stay where you're seated, boys."

Following the bride's orders, all the single women of the room walked to the centre of the hall with Akane's back to them. Clover looked around excitedly and ran opposite to where Alice was standing, hoping that if they were standing far apart there would be a greater chance of one of them catching the bouquet. The Kashiwabara twins had opposite plans and were discussing ways to swoop in and catch it before it fell into another bachelorette's hands. That left Phi standing at the very back of the crowd. (She could thank having to drop the fussy Luna off with their parents for that.)

"You ready?"

Phi turned to the voice and bumped elbows with its owner. Of course its owner was Maria, who looked to be even taller up close. Gulping with feigned confidence, Phi looked away and held her hands up at Akane's voice.

"Up we go!"

They were like a glamorous swarm scrambling to catch the bouquet before someone else could seize it. Ennea and Nona tripped over each other. Alice almost caught it but unintentionally threw it back up into the air with her wrist. Clover walked backwards as she followed the bouquet's descent—

"Ahh!"

She stumbled backwards into Phi. The bouquet hit the latter square in the face, causing her to recoil and fall. Finally, the bouquet was caught; Phi held up her trophy with triumph.

"Are you alright?"

God damn it! Phi widened her eyes as she realised she had stumbled into Maria's slender arms. Of course I did! Of-fucking-course!

Sigma looked ready to object as he stood up sharply from his seat. Whether it was over the premonition of his daughter being the next bride or how Carlos hurried over to them worriedly (though Phi was confident he was just checking up on Maria), Phi wasn't sure.

"I'm fine, Carlos," Maria said calmly. Phi could feel her lift her back up with somewhat strong arms. Okay. I was wrong about her being diminutive. "You okay?"

Phi shook herself out of staring at Maria's arms: toned, slender, shapely. She must have done lots of physical therapy during her recovery, or she must work out, or... "Yeah, thanks."

In the corner of her eye, Phi spotted Clover drooping. The girl was great at hiding her disappointment, Phi admitted, but she was terrible at hiding her crush on Alice.

Perhaps this was the easiest decision Phi made all her life. "Here you go, Clover."

Clover yelped out in shock as she hesitantly took the bouquet. "Really? You're fine with me having it?"

"Yeah. I'm sure you've got a special someone out there." Phi gave a wink and quickly pointed her eyes to the subject of Clover's affection.

"You're the best, Phi!" Clover swung her arms around the girl. She was always a bit of a ditz, but she was the closest esper to Phi's age and was undeniably a good friend. "I'm gonna have to buy you a coffee, aren't I? A co-Phi! Oh, Alice, let's, e-er..." Her face glowed as pink as her hair. "Let's all get coffee together!"

"Sure," Alice smiled. Clover bit her lip to hold down a giant grin.

This would've been one of those "and then everyone clapped" moments, had Junpei not started announcing something soon thereafter. "Okay, everyone! Thanks for coming. Aoi and I will see you guys out... ah, crap." He winced as he spotted Akane silently protesting at Junpei's choice of words with little Quark in her arms. "Of course Aoi's ran off somewhere... Anyway, thanks for coming."

After they all gathered their belongings and started leaving the place, Phi spotted Diana, Sigma and Luna waiting for her at the end of the corridor. By the foot of the door to their left was a blue tie that strangely resembled Light's. "Phi, you're driving," Sigma said.

"Waiii!" Again, Luna mimicked Phi's vocalised confusion.

"You're the only one who didn't drink, right?" Diana asked gently.

"Naturally," was all Phi could muster as she came to terms with the gall of these two. "I'm not your taxi driver, but I'll drop you off at the Klim place, sure. If you'll excuse me, I need to go piss first."

"You're the best. We'll be waiting in the car." Sigma grinned and waved his eldest daughter goodbye. With Diana and his younger daughter, they disappeared into the car park.

"Tough luck, huh?"

"Why do you always pop up whenever I least expect it?" Phi tried grinning at Maria, though the corner of her mouth wobbled traitorously.

"Sorry. I'll steer clear if it's a bother," Maria replied guilelessly. It was refreshing to not be met by sarcasm or permanent positivity for a change. This girl was upfront and honest.

"No, it's fine." Phi shook her head. She pointed at the door that did not have Light's tie sticking out of it. "Anyway, that's where the ladies' restrooms are, right?"

"Yup," Maria confirmed as she watched her brother stumble out of the men's restroom.

"There was only one stall that was occupied but I could've sworn I heard two voices in there!" Carlos shook his hands dry.

Maria laughed meaninglessly, dimples appearing in her cheeks. "Weird. Maybe there's a bathroom ghost. Anyway, I'll see you around, Phi."

"Yeah," Phi nodded. Her expression dropped into one of bewilderment as she watched Aoi and Light bumble out of that same door. The alleged bathroom ghosts, no doubt. "The hell..."

"Shut up," Aoi spat. Light behind him threw an arm over Aoi's shoulder and laughed.

It was better not to ask. "Akane is gonna rip your head off," Phi retorted, before blocking that interaction from her memory and entering the furthest restroom stall to the door.

She could forget about Aoi and Light's shenanigans, but she couldn't forget about Maria. Weird.

Chapter Text

"What the hell is in this? Unicorn piss?"

Aoi scrunched his nose after taking a hesitant gulp of the colourful concoction. "Gross. I don't get the appeal," he gagged.

Extending an expression of solace, Maria nodded. "It's really, really sugary. Not my thing."

"You guys are too weak," Phi huffed. Unicorn crappucino was ordered on her suggestion; she liked her things unbearably sweet. Must run in the family, she noted after remembering how her last family outing ended in Sigma giving his cup to Diana.

"Really? 'Scuse us for not quite having the guts for drinking honey-flavoured acid," Maria laughed honestly.

"Remind me why we listened to Phi's orders?" Aoi slammed his cup onto the table.

"Call me Boss Phi."

It turned out that their morphogenetic training session involved being thrusted into a mundane, day-to-day activity, as much as normality was absurdity to Crash Keys. Alice planned to keep their choices open, but after Clover's coffee date suggestion they settled on a café. Phi, Maria, Clover, Aoi and Alice were to be at this location, while Sigma, Carlos and Seven were in a park awaiting to transmit their coffee orders to the former group. (Aoi was only there so the espers could resonate better; Alice and Seven were the observers of the groups). Hope the old man feels those cavities coming in.

"Sorry we're late!" Clover came bouncing in with Alice's heels clicking behind her. "Oh, unicorn crappucino! My favourite!"

"See, at least someone has taste," Phi grinned.

"Taste? You sure you didn't burn all your taste buds off?" Maria returned.

Alice and Clover seated themselves next to each other at the giant round table Aoi had reserved for them all. "My meeting with Eric could have been a little more civil, but whatever." The bracelets on Alice's wrists jangled as she pulled out her phone. "Okay, Seven sent us the signal. Time to get ordering."

Aoi groaned and shifted his hands to his forehead. "Oh, God... forgive me, Akane, if I end up ruining your honeymoon with a toothache. I'm so sorry for ordering unicorn crap."

Maria frowned and blinked twice. "No way. Carlos says he wants unicorn crappucino!?"

"Why couldn't they have chosen sibling and parental pairs who have the same taste in coffee?" Phi inquired as she licked pink frosting off the corner of her mouth.

"We should've brought my brother along. Light loves unicorn crappucino," Clover cheered as she gulped down a mouthful. "Whenever we go to Barstucks, we always order this! Light always takes his time finishing his, and sometimes he even cries tears of joy."

The rest of them nodded slowly with doubt written all over their faces. "Yup... totally, he loves it," Maria sighed with an eyebrow raised.

"I worry how the man is feeling right now. Don't want him taking after his nephew," Phi whispered to the blond woman beside her.

"Totally," Maria replied.

Stop drinking that crap!

Phi heard Sigma's voice rumble in her brain. Fine. So what do you want? Old man's coffee?

Black coffee, nothing added, he replied.

"Boring," Phi remarked aloud. Maria turned to Phi and the latter smirked. "Old men have to lay off the sugar, I suppose."

"Wanna trade esp-partners? I could do with someone who has actual taste," Maria said cheekily.

"I wouldn't wish that old man on anybody, willing or not," Phi returned in a similar tone. Hey, watch it! But it's true. "And anyway, your brother is stuck to you like glue. Some of us think he's got a sister complex."

Maria laughed, and then laughed some more until she was out of breath as she heard her brother's voice protesting. Forget about getting cavities over unicorn crap — Maria's laugh was like a sugar rush.

"I'm assuming the field strength is still powerful enough when you're not in danger," Alice mused. "Perfect. Looks like I'll have something to write a report on tonight."

"Can I join?" Clover asked sweetly.

"I don't know... It'll just be me and Seven going over paperwork," Alice sighed. "It'll be very boring."

"It'll be fun if I'm around," Clover replied playfully as she batted her long eyelashes and twirled a pink lock of hair with a finger. "C'mon, please?"

Alice let out a short giggle before pulling out a stack of paper. "Alright. In that case, let's start on it now."

Phi almost snorted up the black coffee as she watched Clover sink in her chair with a sad yet also somehow excited "sure". Don't kill yourself over a cup of coffee. Same could be said to you.

"They're like two peas in a pod," Maria remarked with her eyebrows furrowed and her mouth in a smile. "Weren't they in a death game together once?"

"Yeah," Phi confirmed. "Weird. For some reason every couple I know has been trapped in a death game together at least once. Akane and Junpei have been trapped together three times, or four, nobody really knows anymore." Maybe a little more than that now that they're married.

"You think it's got something to do with the morphogenetic field?" Maria asked while tilting her head, the long of her wavy blond hair flopping over her shoulder.

"Who knows. Maybe people are into danger," Phi responded nonchalantly. A certain old man would know that. Shut up.

"Yup. Us lot are a weird bunch, aren't we?" Maria took a long sip of her sugary drink and held back a grimace. "Guess we should change how romance works around here, huh?"

Phi almost chocked on her coffee. Again. She took her cup of unicorn crappucino and chugged it down, hearing Sigma groan in her head as she exhaled.

"Er, something wrong?" Maria said, free of ill will.

"Nothing," Phi breathed, her sighs still a little hitched against her tight throat. I'm probably not getting hit on, Phi thought. Her eyes drifted to Maria. Tall, tan, gorgeous. Soft blond hair. Minty green eyes.

Jesus. Who are you fawning over?

None of your business, Phi spat back.

Tall and blond, huh? Wait— are you into Carlos!?

"The hell!?"

Four pairs of eyes turned to the girl. Waving her hand, Phi dismissively said, "Just arguing with the old man."

God... That bouquet toss really was an omen. My baby girl is growing up too fast, Sigma sighed.

Shut up! I'm not into Carlos.

He's too dedicated to his job. He won't be a good boyfriend, the old man continued. Oh, God. I'm with him right now, Phi, and he's going on about his sister.

"Aw, sheesh, Carlos." Maria said to herself. "They're calling you a siscon again? Honestly, they're probably jealous that there's nothing else to make fun of you for..."

I'm not into Carlos. He's not the only tall and blond person ever, you know.

Sigma wailed in feigned despair. I'm gonna have to tell your mother about this! Our little Phi's in love! Wha— hey! Don't cut off the—

As convenient as it was to be able to communicate with people through your mind, it was even more convenient that you could effectively block them out whenever you want. "Alright. Now that I've put the old man on silent, I'm gonna order a second cup of unicorn crappucino."

Clover and Aoi poured over the rest of the documents together while Alice handled a call with Seven outside the café. Phi and Maria dedicated themselves to scrolling on their phones mindlessly. (Phi wasn't the most well-versed in morphogenetic field theories, as much as she wanted to help out.)

"Distinct intrapersonality of communicated extrasenses? The fuck's that about?" Aoi asked.

"That's if you can tell the other espers' voices and senses distinctly from your own while tapping into the field, or DICE for short," Clover responded confidently yet with a drawn out smile that framed her as the airhead she always was. "What?"

"Are you for real, Clover?" Aoi sighed. "There's no way you just know that."

"True." She placed her hands on her hips. "But Alice did teach me all about it once!"

Phi looked up with her arms crossed. "Of course Alice taught you. Must've been a late night at SOIS HQ, huh."

"Hey, I was wondering, and sorry if it's not my place to ask..." Maria set down her phone to look at Clover; Phi caught glimpses of a yawning cat video on her screen. "What's the deal with you and Alice? Are you two dating or something?"

"Ha!" Aoi slapped his knee. Clover almost slapped him with a look that could freeze hell over. "Yeah, what's the deal with you two? I always feel like I'm third-wheeling whatever ambiguous shit is going on between you."

"They're practically bound by the hip. I've got no clue what's going on with them either," Phi shrugged smugly. A dying noise emerged from the back of Clover's throat as she felt the sting of betrayal.

"D-d-d-dating!?" she spluttered, her face a deeper shade of pink than her hair. "D-don't joke about something like that! You know we never have the time to—"

"Oh, gimme a break," Aoi groaned while crushing his empty coffee cup. "Your missions are practically dates. Really weird ones, though. Usually I wouldn't make out with someone in front of a dead body, but go off."

"We never did that!"

"But you clearly wanted to that time," Aoi retorted. "Just give it up. The cat's out the bag. You definitely have a thing for Alice."

Clover looked ready to protest. She stopped in her tracks as she spotted Alice beyond the window, waving at her once before returning to her call. Awkwardly, she returned the gesture with a distant smile. "Oh, what the hell..." She harshly nudged Aoi in the rib. "Okay, I admit it. Alice is pretty amazing."

Maria and Phi nodded. Aoi tried to, but he was still wincing at the jab.

"Pretty... amazing?" Phi repeated to herself.

"Pretty and amazing," Clover clarified. "Oh, this is so embarrassing!" She buried herself into the curls of her hair.

Aoi gave a short laugh. "You look a lot like how your brother did back then, acting all sentimental and that."

"I love my brother like how any little sister would, but his taste is way worse than mine! Don't bring him into this!" Clover huffed. "Alice is smart, talented, strong, beautiful, and amazing! But Light's boyfriend..." She pointed unenthusiastically at Aoi. "...Is just some guy who knows how to sweet-talk."

The white-haired man snorted as Clover realised that she had just confessed her heart out. Phi and Maria exchanged blank looks after comprehending everything that had unfolded before them.

"Fuck you," Clover spat, though her voice lacked resentment.

"Hey, hey. Having a potty mouth's supposed to be my job," Aoi returned.

Clover's heart leapt out of her throat as she watched Alice return to their table, and (shakily) she smoothed over her bitter attitude. With a gracious nod at the girl, Alice announced: "Today's training is a success."

"A success, huh." Phi cleared her throat.

"I wouldn't expect any less from you guys," Alice declared warmly. "Though, Phi, I heard that you were purposefully blocking out Sigma."

The girl nodded proudly. Maria was almost impressed at her raw confidence.

"I don't think we're quite done yet, though," Clover said shyly as Aoi nudged her. "W-we didn't finish the reports yet, right? So, um, we should get to that now. Here, I think."

"Sounds like a good plan," Alice replied casually. "What about you, Kurashiki?"

"I hafta hurry back, sorry. Gotta pick up Light and Quark from the Klim place," Aoi said sharply. He quirked an impish brow at Clover; the latter knew she was going to have to owe the man a favour for that.

Alice pondered on the thought for a short moment. "Looks like it's just you and me, Clover. Assuming Phi and Maria don't want to join in on the fun."

"Us? Ha ha ha. We'll be on our way, too." Maria patted Phi's shoulder; Phi didn't know if she was starting to lose balance because of those hearty patting motions or if she was finally losing her composure. The taller girl leaned in to Phi's ear and whispered, "Let's leave them love birds to their devices."

Without desiring to replicate how she fell into a pair of beautiful arms the other day, Phi stiffened as a shiver ran up her spine. "Yeah." She gulped and turned to glare at Aoi. "You're driving."

"Sure, whatever," he shrugged.

Clover gave a shy smile and a meek wave as Alice pulled her in to mull over the next batch of documents under the warm café lights.

Phi couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation for what's to come for those two SOIS agents — Friday gossip night with her, Clover and the Kashiwabara twins will be fun. Aoi vocalised just as much as they slid into his car. Maria asked about their clique, and Phi wondered if she could start strategically getting romantically closer to someone if she weaseled her into their circle.

"Getting coffee with you guys was fun," Maria sighed happily. "Maybe we should go there again some time."

Quietly, Phi closed her eyes and looked out the window. "Yeah."

Chapter Text

The ride home from Barstucks all the way to the Klim residence was nothing noteworthy (as much as such was a surprise to any esper) — Aoi and Maria hummed away when some vapid pop song appeared on the radio, and that was it — and when Phi and co. finally arrived the girl hoped that fate hadn't yet planned to throw a wrench into their normalcy. Of course, it would be wrong to expect anything normal from a timeline born out of several strange histories.

"Oh, back so soon?" Light greeted them in the doorway; Phi hadn't quite expected that. This was Diana, Sigma and Luna's home (and the old man was very excited to proclaim such when they first bought the house, sometime when Diana was still pregnant). Phi was aware that Light and Quark were over for a playdate, but...

"Where's..." Phi hesitated for a moment. She never did fully decide on what to call... Mom?... the young woman she only learned quite late in her life was her biological mother. Sometimes it was simply Mom, and other times she'd trail off into silence...

Well, at the very least, she hadn't decided on what to call Diana in front of the people outside of their strange family.

Aoi turned his head away as to slyly dodge Light's kiss. "Where's Diana?"

"She's, ah," Light quickly perked his head up in the direction of Quark's giggles. "You three should come in, now." Aoi was swift in tending to his tiny nephew and he hurled him up into his arms; Light was amused at the sight of his... Boyfriend?... It seemed that Phi wasn't the only indecisive one of them lot.

Maria meekly followed them in, unsure of how to act in a space that she wasn't so familiar with. Phi insisted she should loosen up a bit, all while scratching her cheek and trying to initiate small-talk by firstly asking, "I'm assuming Carlos is going to pick you up?"

"Think so," Maria returned with a shrug. A few moments passed where they just stood there in the living room.

Phi's eyes forcibly tore themselves away from Maria when her mind caught them wandering and being pulled in by the magnetic allure of the radiant young woman; she resorted to staring at a meaningless blank space above the couch. A painting would look nice there. Junpei once did try installing an abstract painting made up of meaningless black and white scribbles, but Sigma immediately turned down the offer with an exhausted frown.

"That doesn't sound good," Aoi murmured as the sound of retching broke the calm quietness once filled with only the babbles of Quark and Luna. Phi sprang up to investigate the matter.

The girl wandered into the corridor to the bedrooms where it was clear that the sound of puking came from Diana and Sigma's room. Light peered his head from around the corner. "Diana has been sick all day."

She quietly shut the bedroom door behind her, and then Phi walked into the bedroom's bathroom. A silence hung over her as she watched the redhead lean over the toilet. With all vestiges of hesitance leaving her, she uttered, "Are you okay, Mom?"

"Yes, I've just gotten a little stomach bug," Diana returned. She smiled tiredly, a concoction of the consequences of Luna's late-night fussiness and the supposed stomach bug bringing out the tiredness in her eyes.

"Do you want me to go get some medicine to..." Phi gestured with her hands in hopes of locating the words she could not get across. Treating illnesses was not in her field of expertise.

"I've asked your father to," the woman replied gently. She pushed herself up by grasping the seat of the toilet. "And you being here is already making me feel so much better, Phi. Um, I'm going to have to clean myself up..." She giggled as she found herself making the same hand movements to convey her own message. Like mother, like daughter; Phi found it deeply warming how at the end of the dark and arduous tunnel that were the morphogenetic shenanigans was a family brought together by the absurdity of it all. Somehow, it felt very human, despite the fact that Phi was certainly no man.

"Alright." Phi nodded to her mother and closed the bedroom door behind her as to leave Diana to her devices. She didn't flinch when the old man jumped out with a sudden noise in an attempt to scare her. "What works on Luna won't work on me, old man," Phi greeted Sigma.

"Hey, you could at least try warming up to your dad a little," Sigma sighed. Phi raised a brow, and Sigma responded by raising a plastic shopping bag weighed down by the lumpy forms of small knicknacks. "Anyway, your mom told me to bring this for her."

"What took you so long? I thought you and Carlos left the location long before we started the journey back. Don't tell me you got lost in the pharmacy along the way." Phi slid to the side so Sigma could open the door behind her.

"No, of course not," Sigma replied before waving to Diana, his beloved... Partner?... There was something about espers and being incredibly ambiguous in labelling their relationships. The most tangible title Sigma ever gave Diana was "my goddess."

"Then what were you doing?"

"Your mom." Sigma laughed and dipped into the room. Phi sighed raggedly and closed the door for them; clearly, she had a strange amalgamation of a frat boy and a grumpy old man for a father.

Behind the closed door, Phi could loudly hear Sigma saying, "Oh, sweetheart, you wouldn't believe it, but our Phi's in love!". Phi stormed away in an embarrassed huff shortly before bashing into a person.

At this point, she should just expect that every unexpected event in her day-to-day life would involve Maria.

"Sorry! Sorry," Maria blubbered, baffled. She laughed awkwardly for a moment while reeling in from the shock of walking into a person; she resolved herself by offering Phi a helping hand to heave her off of the floor. A silky yet strong hand, naturally — naturally, that was all that was clouding Phi's mind as she accepted the offer. Even with Luna's less-than-musical squeals crawling into the corridor, Phi was tangled up in staring at Maria with a mixture of admiration and awe (from having just been knocked to the ground by this goddess of a woman — God, I'm turning into my dad.).

"You seem to attract all sorts of people to bump into you," Phi sighed. She pinched herself out of her starstruck daze and picked up the loud Luna, and then she mentally slapped herself for almost calling Maria attractive.

"Ha ha ha, my bad. I can be real clumsy sometimes," Maria responded with that fresh honesty in her voice. "I was just wandering around here trying to find the toilet. Carlos's here to pick me up, and I don't wanna have to end up taking an awkward piss in the wilderness!"

Phi couldn't help but smile. "The bathroom's to your left," she pointed out. Maria thanked her both verbally and with a nod.

"Waiii," Luna wailed as her sister carried her into the living room.

"Why what?" Phi replied in an interrogative tone too serious for talking to a baby.

The baby held up her tiny hand and grasped it over the redness on Phi's face. "Waiiii." Before reaching to grab Phi's glasses, as babies do.

Phi pushed her glasses beyond Luna's reach and then looked down to ruffle the child's red hair. The infant neglected to respond with a typical verbal outcry, and instead she resolved on nestling herself into Phi's arm with her hand in her mouth.

"Still can't find that old tie? Not even here?"

"I presume I left it somewhere and I doubt I left it in the Klim residence," Light replied to Aoi. The man turned to Quark and asked, "Have you spotted my tie?"

Carlos wandered in casually. "Wow, er, what are you guys sitting around in the dark for?"

Phi agreed wholeheartedly with the statement, as did Quark and Luna. "Yeah. It's getting pretty dark outside."

"Really?" Light sighed lightly, implying he was already aware of it being 8PM.

"Yeah, no shit." Aoi rolled his eyes. He slapped his hand over his mouth as Light shot a glare at him. "Well, I s'pose we can't find anything like this. Too dark to see stuff 'round here." The light switch snapped on, and Aoi responded to the sight by saying: "At least we've got light."

Light — the man, not the antonym of dark (although Aoi would call him that, if provoked) — threw his head back and roared with an uncharacteristic laughter. "How ironic!"

Phi and the babies shook their heads; the latter was cringing. Carlos tried laughing along, but everyone could tell that he was failing terribly at going along with the strange mood set by Aoi and Light.

"That aside," Light gasped, "I still am in need of a nice tie to wear at the next wedding reception." He folded his arms as a thoughtful expression crossed his face. "Care to place your bets on who shall be the next to tie the knot?"

Aoi hummed. "You think Diana and Sigma will get married, like, ever?" Phi shrugged to that.

"Only time will tell," Light said. "Perhaps Hazuki and her new mister will get married?"

"Doubt it," Carlos chimed in. "I heard Seven saying how Hazuki hates the idea of marriage."

"Maybe Clover will be the next bride."

Light's eyes shot wide open and Aoi smirked at the sight; the latter replied, "What? Your baby sister's gonna hafta grow up someday." Holding his head up as if he was using his nose to point, he turned to the blond man behind him. "Thought Carlos was the siscon."

"Not this again," he sighed dejectedly.

"Perhaps accusing Carlos of having a sister complex is a little uncalled for in this particular atmosphere," Light groaned. The contemplative look on his face made Phi wonder if the man was truly stressing over his sister being married off. "After all, every one of us civil adults in this room have younger sisters."

"Hmm. You s'pose there's something about older siblings having near-dead love lives?" Aoi slid his hand in his pockets and watched Light raise an accusatory brow.

"I don't know what you are attempting to tell me, but perhaps what you claim holds some truth for some of us." Light held up a thin hand and dragged Aoi down by his shirt. "Tell me, Aoi, would you think Carlos and Phi look good together as a pair?"

"Hmm," Aoi pondered, while Carlos flattened his mouth and Phi gagged into her hand.

"Ah, that doesn't sound good," Light responded to Phi's retching.

Aoi slid further down from where he crashed down on the couch, his eyebrows raised. "There a stomach bug going around or somethin'?"

"Espers truly are a strange case," Light said smartly. "Hopeless love lives, stomach bugs... ah, you don't suppose Quark is an esper?" Not a full second passed as the two men mutually disagreed on that in hopes of the child to not be exposed to psychic horrors in the future. All the classic tell-tale signs of having esper abilities tended to spell doom and despair. Wanting to twist the mood for the better, Light said abruptly, "Do you recall how Junpei ruined my best tuxedo?"

"Yeah, asshole probably pulled that on purpose." Aoi mentally slapped himself, pulling his hands over Quark's ears. "Was pretty funny how his kid pulled the same, uh, stuff, though."

"The hell are you two talking about?" Phi inquired dryly. She didn't really care about whatever they were acting soft over, but for the sake of quenching her boredom she reached deep within her heart and dragged out a question she would later regret asking.

"Quite simply, vomiting on my beautiful tuxedo runs in the Tenmyouji family," Light said sharply. "One time, Crash Keys went drinking and Junpei... well, he did not feel very well after a couple of beers." He turned to the glass of water in his hand and tossed it down. "Aoi helped me clean up in a seedy little bathroom around the corner of that peculiar pub. You could say that was our first date."

Aoi sighed decidedly. "We don't go on dates. We're not the type of people to just go walk around, hand-in-hand, over some expensive meal. Quality time together is better. You should try it." He snatched the now-empty glass from Light's hand and turned it to the lightbulb. "Okay, at the last wedding I had to help scrub out puke in a gross bathroom for the second time. Consider that our second date."

"Don't force us on a third one, Phi," Light begged jokingly.

She groaned. Well, at least things made sense now. "Now I don't know whether I should pull a Tenmyouji or not. There's just no telling behind those slippery smiles..."

"So we're gonna call vomiting 'pulling a Tenmyouji' now, are we?" Carlos asked tiredly.

"Now we are," Phi replied.

"Don't Carlos and Phi look magnificent together?"

"I don't see it," Aoi returned quickly to Light's claim.

"Yes, you do." Light pointed at Aoi's wide, bewildered eyes before turning his long finger to point at his own obviously closed ones. Aoi pulled his head into his hands as the former erupted with giggles.

Carlos spun to the voice of his sister. "There you are!"

"Sorry, sorry, I'm here now!" Maria squealed. When pressed on what took her so long, she replied with, "I was talking to Diana about my cat! You should meet her some time." Diana poked her head from behind her and waved. Beyond her was Sigma holding his hand over his mouth in thought.

"Right," Carlos nodded passively. "Alright then, we're off now!" The blond siblings bumbled out of the door and into a parked car. Maria turned back and shot one last grin before they drove off into the night. Something within Phi hoped that she was smiling at her specifically; the devil on her shoulder tried denying such an unlikely possibility.

"And we will see ourselves out, too." Light poked Aoi and he responded by heaving Quark up. "Thank you for having us. And, Diana, I do hope you get well soon."

"You're very kind," Diana returned. Sigma felt like he was going to be blinded by the sight of his radiant goddess of a partner. Not to mention that there was light, both the person and the object. (The former brought lots of brightness to the esper dynamic, in stark contrast to his edgy companion.)

"Baiii," Luna waved.

After the Klims saw them off, Aoi and Light immediately resumed their loud banter.

"We're gonna hafta buy you a new tie. What colour do you want?"

"I quite like blue. Sometimes blue is quite gloomy and grim, though, but I can make do." Light laughed in an exaggerated prim voice.

"Fu—dge you. It's not even the same—"

"Alright, how about I get something patterned? Perhaps something hollyhock-themed?"

"Shut up, you're not smart for saying all this punny name bull in English," Aoi spat as they slid into their sleek car. He secured Quark in his baby seat, and then he wandered behind the wheel. The baby hiccuped "bub-up", and the uncle could only sigh. "My name's not even as ridiculous as yours. Light Field is literally a scientific term."

"And Quark is also what you call a 'scientific term'. What are you trying to say, dear? First you expose our nephew to filthy language, and now you plan on insulting your sister over how she named her baby?"

"Oh, c'mon, you say expose as if I told Phi to go off."

"Would you guys just go home already!?" Phi called out over the driveway. Aoi shrugged; they decided it would probably be best for them to be returning home, and so they started their car up and drove into the distance.

Slamming the door shut behind her, Phi turned back to the living room and was met with the sight of Sigma cradling Luna while Diana was holding a cheerful conversation with him.

"Some of us really do have unique names, don't we?" she said with an innocent smile. "Isn't that right, Sigma?"

"I have to agree with you there. Sometimes even I wonder what my parents were thinking. They wanted me to have an S and a G in my name like my brothers, but..."

"You got named after a Greek letter," Phi cooed sarcastically.

"You're one to talk, Phi."

"You named me."

"I named you after yourself! Not a Greek letter specifically."

Diana laughed, and so did Luna. Were they mocking them? Unlike Sigma and his harpy-of-a-daughter, Diana and Luna had beautiful moon-themed names. All of Phi's theories were washed away as Diana held up her hand in a manner that Phi habitually flaunted. "This— this is what being an esper is all about!"

Sigma sighed with a weary smile. "The unusual names?"

"No, just— the way you tried throwing in an entire paradox as a way of justifying your naming choices!" Diana nodded with an grin. "And besides, not all of us have strange names. I think Akane and Junpei are beautiful names. Oh, and Maria is a really pretty name! I think it's one of my favourites."

Phi caught herself nodding; she froze when Sigma raised a brow.

"Now, kids, let's get you all to bed," Diana announced to both the baby in Sigma's arms and the fully-grown daughter standing by her side. "Sigma, why don't we research some more pretty names?"

"What for?" Phi inquired.

The two ignored her. Luna joined in with her confusion with a shrill "waiii" before she was lulled to sleep. The next time her parents spoke to Phi was in a harsh whisper after the baby had been tucked into bed.

"Maria forgot her phone," Sigma said calmly. "She left it on the windowsill."

"Oh, no! That must have been from when I asked her about the kitty in her lockscreen!" Diana whispered harshly.

Sigma handed the gaudy pink phone to Phi. If it were not for the fact that it could only be Maria's, Phi would have assumed that it belonged to Clover. The rather humble sticker of a pair of plain ballet shoes carefully slapped onto the phonecase, however, called for a more humble and down-to-earth owner. "Purrhaps you can give it back to her tomorrow."

"Will do, old man," Phi choked out as she tried surpressing her exasperation over her dad's cat puns.

"Good." Sigma nodded to his eldest daughter, and then he tucked his hand around Diana's waist. "Now you go to bed! Sleeping is how you're going to be able to catch up on the inches in height you've missed."

"Whatever," Phi sighed as she turned to the floor. She refused to rub in how the man was towering over her. "And I'm already a full-grown adult. I don't grow anymore."

Phi did not begin to question how her phone flashed "Carlos" until she answered the call as to cease the annoying buzzing of it. Dragging her heavy eyelids open, she spoke hoarsely. "Hello?"

"Phi! It's me!"

That oh-so alert voice could only belong to one person — the gorgeous person who had been stumbling into her life all of a sudden.

"It's me, Maria! I'm calling on my brother's phone, 'cause..." She paused when she saw Phi hold up a sparkly pink phone. "Oh, thank God you have my phone!"

"You clumsy thing," Phi replied.