Chapter Text
Luffy hasn’t said a word about what happened in Marine Ford, and he plans on keeping it that way. He’s stupid, but not THAT stupid. He notices how everyone stares at him when he gets a little too quiet. He knows how everyone wants to ask him that same dreadful question. ‘What happened two years ago?’ He won’t be able to answer honestly and not break down all over again. He couldn’t show that much weakness in front of his crew. Not ever. It was late in the evening, and everyone besides Luffy was asleep. He was sitting on his special seat on top of Sunny’s head as he closed his eyes and felt the soft breeze push against his face. He sighed and looked out at the dark waves crashing against the sea. Luffy couldn’t fall asleep; he refused to. Every night since the day Ace died, he has had the worst nightmares of his life.
Luffy couldn’t pull his eyes away from the blood of his brother that was smothered across his own hand. ‘This can’t be happening.’ He thought as he felt his brother’s cold and lifeless body against his own. There was an agonizing scream in the distance. It took Luffy a minute to realize that the one screaming so horrifically was him. His world was falling apart and the only thing he could do was to scream and cry like a child. He couldn’t breath, his vision was blurred from the tearing spilling from his eyes, and he lost his voice from screaming so much. The only thought in his mind was that he let his big brother die right in front of him, just like when he helplessly let his crew disappear in front of him. This was the most indescribable and painful experience Luffy has ever had. The amount of loss he felt was so unbearable that he started wishing for death at that very moment.
He would wake up with tears rolling down his face every morning. The crew started to worry after Luffy kept waking up hours before anyone else, which made no sense to them because he used to be the LAST one to wake up in the morning.
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Nami was more than surprised to see Luffy laying on the ship’s yard when she walked out of her room. She looked at the sky; it was still dark. She walked down the steps quietly and sat next to him. Nami looked down at his face, fully expecting him to be asleep, but he was just blankly staring at the stars above. She wished she knew what he was thinking about in that mind of his.
“Hey, Luffy? Why’re you up so early? Did you get hungry or something?” She laughed lightly, but stopped as soon as she realized Luffy was now looking at her. She couldn’t figure out what his expression was, but it seemed… Lost.
Nami frowned. “Is something wrong? I’ll tell Sanji to cook you something as soon as he wakes u-“
“No, it’s fine. I’m not hungry.” His voice sounded so hollow. ‘Was he crying?’ Nami thought to herself. “So-“
She was interrupted by Luffy suddenly standing up and yawning. “I think I’m just exhausted.” He chuckled. Nami nodded, “You look pretty tired.”
She frowned as he quietly walked back into the boys’ dorm. A few minutes after Luffy shut the dorm’s door, the door opened again. It was Sanji. Nami smiled and waved at him. “Good morning, Sanji.” Sanji eye’s lit up. “Good morning to you too, Nami-Swaaan!” Nami laughed and walked over to him. “Could you make me some coffee? It’s kind of breezy out.” Sanji nodded eagerly and rushed into the kitchen.
Nami sighed. She couldn’t stop thinking about Luffy. When Sanji came back outside with two cups of coffee, Nami took hers and thanked him. After a few moments of them both sipping on their drinks, Nami spoke. “Um, have you noticed anything.. off about Luffy recently?” Sanji tilted his head. “Off? No, I don’t think so. Why?”
“Well it’s just that-“ She stopped when she heard a door open. Usopp and Chopper walked out of the dorm room. The sun started to rise as they both joined Nami and Sanji on the deck.
“Hey, what’re you guys talking about?” Chopper asked tiredly. “Nami-san was just asking about Luffy.”
“Why?” Usopp glanced passed Sanji to make eye contact with Nami. She just shrugged, “I don’t know, he seemed weird when I saw him earlier.” They all sat in awkward silence when Luffy walked out on the deck a few minutes later. He paused when he noticed the awkward tension in the air. He frowned. “Is something wrong?”
“We wanted to know if you-“ Nami slapped the back of Usopp’s head before he could finish his sentence. “It’s nothing,” She laughed. Luffy narrowed his eyes, but shrugged and disregarded it. Sanji stood up and smiled, “How about I make you all some breakfast?” The entire atmosphere shifted into one that was more light-hearted. “Yeah!” They all shouted excitedly. Luffy was the first one into the kitchen, as always. He sat down at the head of the table as everyone else found their own seats.
It worried Nami when it happened again. ‘Why was Luffy always laying on the deck before the sun rose?’ She would think to herself. ‘Something must be wrong.’ So the next day, she decided to get up a lot earlier than normal to see what Luffy was up to.
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Nami slowly opened her bedroom door, cringing as it creaked. She walked down the stairs as quietly possible, worried that he would hear her. She stopped at the top of the stairs and started to listen carefully.