Work Text:
Kai makes his way quietly into Yeonjun’s room. The elder is sitting on his bed with his legs crossed and his laptop balanced on his knees. His bright red headphones contrast wildly against his black hair, and he reaches up to pull them down when Kai enters.
“Hey, baby,” Yeonjun whispers as Kai crawls onto Yeonjun’s bed and curls up beside him, closing his eyes. His back is pressed up against Yeonjun’s thigh and Kai tucks his arms into himself.
“Are you okay?” Yeonjun asks warmly, fingers carding through Kai’s hair. Kai lets out a low grunt, and Yeonjun surprisingly takes that as a sufficient answer because he doesn’t push any further.
After a few minutes, though, Yeonjun speaks again. “Is everything alright?”
Kai doesn’t answer this time, and Yeonjun stops playing with his hair, tucking it behind his ear and then pats Kai’s cheek gently.
“All good to keep me company, bug, but I’m going to put my headphones back on. Give me a tap if you need anything, okay?”
“Okay,” Kai mumbles into the comforter. It smells exactly like Yeonjun, like fabric softener and coconut body wash.
Kai listens to the headphones slide back up onto Yeonjun’s head and the gentle click of his trackpad. Next, a heavy trap song starts bleeding out of Yeonjun’s headphones, and Kai stifles a giggle. Only Yeonjun would be talking so benignly yet be listening to such heavy-hitting music.
Kai lets Yeonjun work for a few more minutes. He almost drifts off, closing his eyes again and just listening to the noises of Yeonjun’s typing and the occasional mumblings he makes to himself. Kai doesn’t know how much time has passed, but he rolls over, lifts his head to rest on Yeonjun’s thigh, and stuffs his face into Yeonjun’s hip, disrupting his laptop in the process. Kai doesn’t care. He’s finally ready to talk.
Yeonjun immediately stops typing, and Kai hears the music being paused.
“Wanna talk about it now, bug?” Yeonjun asks softly. He takes the laptop off his lap with both hands and lays it down beside him. The headphones go next, and Kai turns his head and opens his eyes just in time to see Yeonjun running a hand through his hair, trying to fix the mess the headphones made. Kai smiles weakly.
Yeonjun looks down at him, serious.
“Do you think Beomgyu-hyung’s ignoring me?” Kai asks, voice so quiet that some of the syllables just barely slip out. He watches Yeonjun’s brows furrow, and one of his hands comes up to brush the side of Kai’s cheek.
“No, not at all, Kai-yah,” Yeonjun states, almost sternly, “Where did this come from?”
Kai tries his best to shrug. “Dunno. I just feel like the two of us, we’re different. These days. Like there’s something in between the two of us.”
“Have you talked to him about it?”
Kai lets out a groan and rolls back into Yeonjun’s hip. The elder lets out a huff of a laugh and pries Kai’s shoulder back, making him once again look up at Yeonjun. The smile on Yeonjun’s face is a sympathetic one, but it also looks like he wants to lecture Kai for three hours about the benefits of good communication.
“It’s hard,” Kai whines, “I don’t like talking about that kind of stuff with you guys.”
“Yah, you just like leaving it all to Soobin, don’t you?” Yeonjun teases, tickling Kai’s chin gently. Kai lets out a giggle, and Yeonjun pinches his cheek.
“If you think there’s some sort of tension between you and Beomgyu, he’s the only one that’s going to be able to fix it. If you need any support, we’re here for you, but, Kai-yah, really, you have to do this yourself.”
Kai nods solemnly. He was already predicting this exact response from Yeonjun, but he wanted a cuddle along the way too. The advice was a helpful bonus though; Yeonjun always knows exactly what to say.
There’s a light knock on the door, and Yeonjun hums affirmatively, signalling to whoever it is that they can come in. Soobin’s head appears seconds later, un-styled black hair slightly dishevelled and a crooked smile on his face. Kai turns his head on Yeonjun’s thigh to look at him and lets his legs fall out straight onto Yeonjun’s bed, feeling instantly more relaxed upon seeing Soobin.
“All good in here?” Soobin asks cautiously, looking at Yeonjun. Kai can’t see Yeonjun’s facial expressions, but he watches Soobin come over to them, bending down to press a quick kiss to Yeonjun’s lips. “Taehyun’s almost done with setting dinner up,” he explains.
Yeonjun makes a pleased hum and looks down at Kai. “We’re fine, just talking about how important it is to talk about our feelings with people.” Yeonjun’s fingers find their way to Kai’s stomach, and he squeezes, causing Kai to let out a loud shriek of laughter.
Soobin smiles widely, ducking down so he’s hovering right over Kai.
“Hey, you. Everything good?” Kai just rolls his eyes, not bothering to answer the question, then pouts his lips out, looking for a kiss. Soobin laughs and presses one to the tip of his nose. Kai hears Yeonjun snort above him.
“Hyung,” Kai complains, sitting up. But Soobin’s quicker than he is and backs up, crossing his arms.
“Help set the table and maybe I’ll give you a kiss,” Soobin says defiantly, a small smile on his lips.
Kai gapes at him. “That’s bribery, that’s not allowed here.” Yeonjun laughs again, and his hand comes up to hold the back of Kai’s head.
“You’re so cute,” Yeonjun mumbles, but it sounds more like a slipped-out thought, not a comment meant for Kai to hear. Kai turns anyways, leaning into Yeonjun’s hold and making eye contact with him.
Yeonjun grins, eyes rounded into semi-circles and a slight flush to him. Kai studies him for a moment, sometimes too caught up to really think about how handsome he really is. Yeonjun’s so pretty; he wants to remind him of it every moment of the day.
“Shall we go?” Yeonjun asks quietly. Kai nods. He can talk to Beomgyu later.
After dinner, Taehyun comes crashing into their room with his usual amount of fervour. He launches himself onto Kai, who’s lying on his back on the bottom bunk, playing on his Switch. Kai lets out a squeal and laughs when Taehyun props himself up with his elbows digging into Kai’s sides with his thin fingers framing his cheeks.
“Hi,” Kai says breathlessly, placing his Switch onto the bedside table. His hands fall to his sides as he turns back to look at Taehyun. “Thank you for making such a nice dinner. You’re getting really good,” Kai says earnestly.
Kai can tell Taehyun’s pleased by the comment by how red the tips of his ears become. But it’s true, they hardly ever cook an entire meal for the whole group.
Taehyun flops down onto Kai’s chest, burrowing his face in Kai’s neck. He shifts, slotting their bodies together, and Kai smiles to himself. His hands find their place on Taehyun’s hips.
No matter what happens to the group, Kai will always be the most thankful he met Taehyun. They seem to get each other in a way the other three don’t. Kai likes that he can talk to Taehyun about all the awkward and yucky stuff that comes with their job, knowing he won’t be met with any judgment. Taehyun’s always so good for him.
“Kai?” Taehyun’s voice is low against Kai’s neck. Kai knows that he’s asking, knows what he wants.
“Hm?”
Taehyun pinches lightly at his shoulder, and Kai huffs out a laugh and rolls his eyes at Taehyun’s predictable behaviour. But he complies, of course, and moves his hands up as Taehyun pulls himself towards Kai. He looks at him with his round eyes, and Kai smiles before Taehyun leans in, closing the gap between them.
Taehyun’s mouth is warm and syrupy as he moves off of Kai's mouth and onto his chin, his jaw, his neck. Kai lets out an embarrassingly low whine when Taehyun bites into his clavicle, a smidge harder than he normally does. Taehyun shoots up momentarily, cocking an eyebrow at Kai.
Kai turns his head, embarrassed. He doesn’t like when Taehyun stares at him, unblinking, like this so up close. Kai inhales sharply when Taehyun surges forward and kisses him again, hard. Kai’s chest feels warm as Taehyun takes and takes and
“I heard you wanted to talk to Beomgyu-hyung.”
Kai’s eyes snap open, and his whole body jolts. Taehyun’s still completely pressed up against him, lips still pressed to him. Kai lets out a groan of annoyance. Why, out of all times, would Taehyun want to bring that up now?
“I’m sorry,” Taehyun says quietly. Kai can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or not and pushes Taehyun backwards so he can sit up.
“Who told you?” Kai asks, biting the nail on his thumb. He’s not mad, but there has to be a reason Taehyun said it.
“Yeonjun-hyung,” Taehyun says with a smile, “Who else?”
Kai huffs out a breath and shakes his head. There are a few secrets between the five of them, but really, almost everything gets passed around. It’s just habitual at this point. But still, Taehyun’s not usually the one to pry his way into Kai’s other relationships.
“Why do you care if I talk to him or not?” Kai says, finally looking up at Taehyun. And he’s there, staring at him with his intense glare, so full of concern.
“Because I can tell it’s bothering you. You’re different.”
“Different how?”
“Just different. It’s affecting all of us, I think,” Taehyun explains. And ah, okay, this makes more sense. Taehyun always tries so hard to make sure everyone’s in perfect harmony at all times. It’s tough work, but he’s good at it. Taehyun’s wonderful at worming his way into all of their beds with his soft words and level-headed thinking.
“So, what? Should I go talk to him now?” Kai wonders aloud. He wasn’t planning on it, but if this is such a pressing issue maybe he should put some effort into it. But Taehyun just lets out a light laugh and shakes his head.
“No, no, he’s with the hyungs. They’ve claimed him for the evening,” Taehyun comments, a coy smile on his face.
“Oh.” Kai’s face falls. He’s not jealous (they’re way past that stage); he just feels a bit put off. It’s weird, having Beomgyu so out of reach.
Kai doesn’t even know what he would say to him if he were to successfully corner Beomgyu. He’s still convinced a lot of this is just in his head. And yet, he knows it’s really not.
“Don’t worry, I’m happy I get you all to myself,” Taehyun says cheerily. Kai giggles, and Taehyun throws himself back onto Kai, wrestling him down until he’s flat on his back. Taehyun looks down at him, triumphant.
“Can I sleep here tonight?” he asks.
“As opposed to a metre above me?” Kai muses, tucking a smile in between his lips. Taehyun smacks him lightly on the chest.
“Yah, I can leave if you want, Soobin-hyung’s bed will be empty tonight.”
Kai clutches onto Taehyun’s arm and lets out an overdramatic nooooo, promising he can squish over and make room for Taehyun. It’s been a few weeks since they’ve done this, but Kai always thinks he has better sleeps when he’s pressed up against him.
“Okay, good. Now scooch over and let me under the blanket, it’s cold.”
Kai feels hands wrap around his waist, and a chin dig itself into the top of his shoulder. He slows down after letting out a small cry of surprise. He just narrowly escaped doing some stupid bit with Soobin for a behind camera and is now trying to find the staff with the suitcase that holds their in-ears and headset mics. Kai still has his and needs to return it in the next five minutes or else he’s seriously fucked.
“I heard you wanted to talk to me.”
Kai lets out a shuddery laugh, all too aware that there are multiple M Countdown staff members in the hall with them. He gingerly tries to unwrap Beomgyu’s hands from his stomach, but Beomgyu just clenches on harder. Kai sighs.
“Do we have to do this now, hyung?” he says as passively as possible.
With their height difference, Beomgyu is clearly struggling to keep up with him while attached to his back, so Kai does him the service of stepping to the side, where a vending machine and water fountain lie in the nook of the wall. He’s not going to be the one to make a scene.
“I want to know why you’re ignoring me when there’s clearly something on your mind,” Beomgyu says quietly. He makes one more pinch at Kai’s stomach, then finally unwraps himself and glides over to the wall, idly leaning against it. He pushes his hair back and checks his nails as if he’s got nothing better to do. As if he didn’t just ambush Kai backstage at a music show.
“I’m not ignoring you,” Kai shoots back automatically. It’s a lie, and they both know it. They had to shoot some sort of behind-the-scenes interview before their performance, and Kai had kept his distance, happy with the fact that Taehyun wanted to hang off of him during the whole thing.
Beomgyu looks at him pointedly, and Kai suddenly realizes he’s the one with the problem here. Beomgyu clearly doesn’t seem phased by whatever the younger’s about to bring up with him, so Kai should just spit it out and get it all over with.
“Are we okay?” Kai whispers, looking at his shoes. He switched them last minute with Yeonjun because he was complaining about how uncomfortable his were.
Beomgyu doesn’t answer, and Kai’s eyes flick to his for a split second. Beomgyu looks placid. Not angry, just numb.
“We’re good, right? I just-” Kai takes a deep breath and tries to steady himself. Sometimes words are hard. Especially when talking to Beomgyu. He’s so full of energy and light and naturally charm that Kai sometimes feels like he can’t keep up with him.
“I just feel like there’s some distance in between the two of us. Because, well, last week, it felt like you were the one ignoring me,” Kai continues. He’s terrified he’s stepped over some sort of metaphorical line either of them has yet to cross. A thought going through him that this is also so unprofessional to be doing this in the middle of the hallway at M fucking Countdown, but there are no takebacks now. He’s said it, so it's all out there now.
“You’ve been hanging out with Soobin-hyung so much and I feel like it hasn’t been just the two of us for a while now,” Kai blurts out, beginning to panic and therefore overexplaining himself. But it’s true. He can’t remember the last time he and Beomgyu consciously made the decision to spend some time together, just the two of them.
And with what the five of them have going on, it is pretty rare to just hang out one-on-one. But still, Taehyun and Yeonjun always make an effort to steal Kai away for an afternoon or two to just relax and chill out.
Beomgyu lets out a strangled sort of breath, and for a second, Kai thinks he’s about to burst into tears, but all he does is take two tentative steps forward and then wraps Kai in a tight hug. Kai’s brain momentarily blanks out, so unsure of what is happening for a moment that it takes him a second to hug Beomgyu back. But he does with a short laugh, making sure not to knock his mic off from around his neck in the process.
“I’m sorry,” he hears Beomgyu whisper. “I wasn’t doing anything on purpose. I really care about you, and hyung will try to spend more time with you.”
Kai feels his entire body relax. Okay. So he wasn’t being completely over-dramatic and making things up in his head. And now Beomgyu’s made him a promise, and everything will work out.
“Thank you,” Kai mumbles back. And he means it. Really.
In the car ride back to the dorms, Kai is trying to keep his eyes open. They have twenty minutes left in the drive, and he knows if he falls asleep now, it’ll be a hassle to get up and make it to bed. He’s in the back, squished beside Taehyun, who’s in the middle of him and Soobin.
Taehyun had knocked out the moment he’d sat down. His hand is wrapped under Kai’s leg, cupping the back of his thigh, holding onto him tight. Soobin seems to be texting some group chat furiously, so Kai doesn’t try to talk to him. Yeonjun’s directly in front of him, big headphones on, staring blankly out the window. And Beomgyu is fiddling with his phone, no headphones in, no sign of sleepiness, and yet he’s not starting any sort of conversation.
Normally he’s the one who still has the most energy after schedules like these, but he’s quiet, and Kai can guess why. Beomgyu had promised him they’d talk more once they were back at the dorms, and Kai can practically see the words Beomgyu’s rehearsing to say floating above his head.
“Hyung,” Kai calls out softly. Yeonjun doesn’t even flinch, but Soobin side-eyes him for a second before his eyes flick over to Beomgyu, then he turns back down at his phone. Beomgyu moves his head slowly, almost cautiously, but gives Kai a small smile once he’s twisted around completely.
“If you’re too tired, we can talk tomorrow,” Kai says gently. He doesn’t care if everyone else can hear him now. He figures the other three put two and two together once he and Beomgyu returned to the dressing room looking sheepish. Beomgyu’s smile drops, and he shakes his head.
“No, no, I’m still up for it.”
Kai smiles. “Okay, but I might be too tired,” he explains. Beomgyu nods understandingly.
“We’ll see when we get there.”
When they get there, Kai is exhausted. He closes his eyes for a second in the elevator, and Soobin elbows him in the ribs. And then he has to practically be dragged into his room by Taehyun, who helps him put his things away. Taehyun’s changing when there’s a knock on their door, and Kai goes to investigate, opening it to a clearly ready-for-bed Beomgyu.
“Wanna come sleep with me tonight?” Beomgyu asks.
Kai nods immediately, smiling, and turns to see Taehyun miming shoo-ing him out of the room.
“Don’t stay up too late,” Taehyun chides as Kai closes the door softly. Beomgyu snorts and leads Kai to his room. They pass by Soobin’s room, which is empty, Kai notes, and yet they can’t hear anything coming from Yeonjun’s at the end of the hall. They’re all tired. Really tired. It’s the end of the week, so they’ve been up and down constantly.
Beomgyu’s room is warm. He has literally zero decoration on his walls, but he has a decent collection of plushies and an excellent quantity of snacks. Kai sits down on his blankets cross-legged, and Beomgyu mirrors him. He and Yeonjun have slightly bigger beds than the rest of them, ones that can comfortably fit two people, and so Kai spreads his arms out behind him, scrunching up Beomgyu’s comforter with his fingers.
“I’m assuming you’re too tired to talk now, right?” Beomgyu muses, a smile on his lips. Kai nods back, and Beomgyu giggles. He reaches over and ruffles Kai’s hair. It’s getting long in the back, but Kai’s not sure he wants to cut it right away.
“Okay then. Sleep now, talk in the morning.”
Kai nods and collapses to the side, earning a laugh out of Beomgyu. He nudges Kai’s leg with his foot. “C’mon, you can borrow some shorts.”
They don’t have a schedule the next morning, so Kai gets to sleep in. He wakes up naturally, and Beomgyu shifts beside him. They started the night huddled up together with Kai as the big spoon but now Beomgyu’s lying on his stomach, one arm lazily thrown over Kai’s chest. He looks up at Beomgyu’s ceiling before blinking a few times and then sitting up.
“Yeonjun-hyung said he’d try to make us breakfast,” Beomgyu mumbles into his pillow. Kai’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
“What’s the special occasion?” Kai asks.
“Us finally talking again,” Beomgyu says, his pillow muffling his laughter, “I’m kidding. Kind of. It’s also because week one of promotions are done, dummy.”
Kai nods. Right. The first entire chunk of promotions are over, and now they have a rare 24 hours of rest. Beomgyu gets changed, and then they talk. Kai explains how he’s feeling, and then Beomgyu explains how he’s feeling, and then they talk through it together. It’s nice, actually. Beomgyu is a great listener, and Kai always feels like he’s not going to be dismissed or teased, unlike when he’s talking with Soobin or Yeonjun.
They shuffle into the kitchen thirty minutes later to find Soobin at the stove, frying some tofu. Yeonjun is latched onto his back, face buried in the back of Soobin’s neck. His eyes are closed, and Kai is not completely convinced he’s awake.
Beomgyu steps over to Soobin, leaning up to plant a kiss on his temple and grabbing onto the arm he’s not using for cooking.
“Good morning, hyung,” Beomgyu says quietly.
Soobin chuckles and lightly bonks Beomgyu’s head with his own.
“Can you go wake up Taehyunnie? I think hyung wants us all to eat together.”
At this, Yeonjun stirs, lifting his head and smiling sleepily at Kai and Beomgyu. He yawns and steps back from Soobin, stretching out his arms.
“I can go get him,” Yeonjun announces, twisting his torso around. He disappears into the hallway, and Beomgyu takes Kai’s hand and leads him over to the table.
“We’re not going to offer to help?” Kai wonders aloud, sneaking a glance past Beomgyu at Soobin’s back. Beomgyu shakes his head quickly and covers his lips with a finger, telling Kai to quiet down. Kai laughs, but he shuts his mouth, content to sit and wait at the table with Beomgyu. It’s not like there’s a lot to prepare either.
But every time they sit and eat together Kai can’t help but feel like it’s something special. Their little family, or whatever word they’re using to describe what they have going on, eating together is something he’s going to remember for a while. They all love food, and they all love each other, so to do it together is special.
The five of them being together is extremely special to Kai.
And after his talk with Beomgyu, he’s sure his hyung knows that. The others do, too, especially Taehyun, who enters the kitchen rubbing his eyes and makes a beeline for Kai. He clambers onto his lap, his back to Kai’s front and leans back onto his shoulder. Kai wraps his arms around Taehyun’s stomach and laughs into his neck.
“Did you survive the night without me?” he whispers against Taehyun’s skin.
“Just barely. I had no one to bully about getting up to turn off the light.”
“Poor baby,” Kai teases, pressing little kisses all over Taehyun’s jugular. It tickles, and he starts giggling, trying to worm his way out of Kai’s reach. Beomgyu kicks Kai under the table.
“Don’t get him all riled up before we’ve even had breakfast,” Beomgyu says brusquely.
Taehyun lets out a big sigh once Kai’s finally done with him and slides into the seat beside him, just as Yeonjun enters with bowls and chopsticks. They hear the beep of the rice maker, and then Yeonjun actually manages to drag Beomgyu into the kitchen to get him to help bring the food out. Kai thinks Yeonjun’s going easy on him because he wants details from last night.
“So, you two are good?” Taehyun asks, poking at Kai’s arm. Kai turns to face him, a closed-mouth smile on his face.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
Taehyun deadpans and doesn’t react when Kai reaches up to pinch at his cheeks. But Kai nods and looks into the kitchen at Beomgyu dancing around Yeonjun, who’s just trying to divvy the rice up.
“Yes, we talked, and things are good. It was a bit of me overthinking things, but hyung promised we’d spend more time together, so,” Kai pauses wistfully, “I’m looking forward to that.”
Taehyun reaches over and grabs Kai’s head with his hands, twisting Kai’s chin so he’s fully facing Taehyun. He kisses him, quick and happy.
“Good,” Taehyun agrees. Then, more softly, he adds, “I love you.”
“I love you.” Kai feels giddy. And now, it’s time they eat.
After they eat and wash the dishes, Beomgyu grabs Kai’s hand and yanks him into his and Taehyun’s room, pushing him up against the back of the door. Kai stares at him, wide-eyed and waiting. But Beomgyu doesn’t open his mouth; he just stares back, silent and still.
But when Kai opens his mouth to say something (what, he doesn’t know), Beomgyu kisses him. Kai’s inhale of surprise is swallowed up by Beomgyu’s mouth, his fingers coming up to hold Kai’s chin and shoulder. Kai feels trapped in the best way possible.
Beomgyu’s relentless in how he gives his attention, and Kai feels dizzy when Beomgyu finally pulls away from him, his lips raw and pink. Beomgyu keeps his hand on Kai’s chin, turning Kai’s head to the right and then the left, as if he’s looking for something on Kai’s face.
“Pretty,” Beomgyu mumbles. His nails are digging into Kai’s skin.
“Hyung,” Kai manages to choke out. He can feel how hot his skin feels and wants to take off his hoodie.
“I’m sorry,” Beomgyu whispers. He kisses Kai’s jaw. “I’ll be better.”
Kai closes his eyes and lets himself be pressed harder into the door.