Chapter Text
Thoma
I lean in close to the dish I’m preparing. The steam warms my face as I inhale, the saltiness of the seagrass complimenting the subtle fish and udon. Hopefully my Lord will find it to his liking. The Yashiro Commissioner is busy as always and it’s my job to ensure he keeps his strength up.
I stand back to check my creation. Perhaps I should add eggs for even more energy? No, no he had eggs for breakfast, and there is surely energy in the fish… but perhaps? Before I can dither long enough for the food to go cold, I place the bowl on a serving tray, along with chopsticks and a soup spoon. I stand up straight, and carry the tray across the Kamisato estate to my Lord’s private chamber. I kneel beside the doors,
“My Lord, are you ready for dinner?”
“Ah, Thoma. Please, come in.” Ayato’s voice is crisp, his tone unreadable. Nevertheless, I slide one of the partitioning doors open, and stand with the tray. As I enter the room, I try to gauge my Lord’s current wellbeing. The tall young man is kneeling, setting his usual mess of books and papers aside to make space for the food. He wears his usual white collared coat over his kimono. I set it down in front of him, along with two smaller trays of side dishes. “That’s a lot of food.”
“You’ve lost a lot of weight.” I state plainly. I am always polite to him, but on this matter I will not budge. “You haven’t slept in days. I know you have to work but at least eat what you can?”
“You’re not going to leave until I do, are you?”
“No, my Lord.”
“Then please, sit.” He gestures for me to sit across from him, and I accept the invitation, crossing my legs on the floor and watching him. My gaze is a sharp knife as I ensure he consumes enough food. He seems to like the soup enough, though he makes no comment, I can tell from the slightest change in his features. It took years to learn how to read this man.
I sit in silence for a moment, knowing how he detests small talk. I take my time to think before speaking, as he prefers,
“Is there anything else I can assist you with, my Lord?”
“Well… there is a letter that needs delivering, but…” his brow furrows and his gaze lowers. His deep lapis eyes swim with concern.
“The route is dangerous? I can handle it.” Not to toot my own horn, but I’m pretty handy with a spear.
“I was going to send a member of the shuumatsuban, but none of them have returned from their current missions.” He paused, but I understood. It was urgent, but he didn’t want me to go. He rarely sent me to take care of anything that might put me in harm’s way, but I wanted a chance to show him I was up to the task.
“I know my limits. If it gets too dicey I’ll retreat, find another way. I won’t let you down.”
“I know you won’t. Very well.” He hands me a letter sealed with the kamisato crest. I place the scroll in a capsule at my belt. “Please take it to Komore Teahouse. The recipient is staying there. You can leave it with Taroumaru.”
It sounds like a simple request, but something is off,
“That route isn’t normally dangerous.”
“Indeed. There are several parties who may seek to obtain the letter before it reaches its destination.”
“I’ll be prepared for an ambush then.” I reassure him.
“Please be careful.”
***
Strangely, the journey went off without a hitch. I reached the teahouse and handed the letter to Taroumaru. The shiba inu was pleased to see me, as I was to see him. I petted his fur before returning. On my way home, I assume the path to be of less concern.
I’m nearly back, entering the dark Chinju forest through the tori gate, when it begins to rain. I pull my jacket closer around me, but I’m a lost cause. The water quickly soaks my hair and clothes, and I struggle to see clearly through the downpour.
I take shelter under the branches of an aralia tree, but it does little to keep me dry. There’s a flash above me, followed by a low rumbling resounding through the forest. Storms are common in Inazuma, but it’s never a good idea to be outside in this weather.
Woosh.
Something sharp flies past my head, striking the tree beside me with a thud. A kunai. The throwing knife juts out of the tree a mere inch from my face. I leap to the side, as more kunai fly towards me.
I ready my spear as I scan the trees for the source of the knives, but the rain is too thick and heavy. I run in what I believe is the right direction, dodging kunai and shuriken, until at last I spot my attacker. The ninja retreats as I draw near, circling me. I wait for an opening, then lunge forward with my spear, scraping his shoulder.
He jumps aside but I strike again, this time vaulting forwards. I put my weight on the polearm and swing around, kicking my opponent. He staggers back, and I use the opportunity to summon a defensive barrier. I’m not taking any chances,
“Whatever you’re after, I don’t have it.” I say, hoping to distract him.
“Like I’m falling for that.” He replies through clenched teeth, retaliating with a sweeping kick. I jump before he can knock me off my feet, then plunge down with my spear, striking the ground.
He’s too fast. I can’t track him with my eyes. Thud.
The air is knocked out of my lungs. I drop my spear, clawing at my chest. I see him withdraw his fist with a satisfied smirk.
“Hand it over, dog.” He grins.
No this can’t be happening. I try to steady myself, but I can’t breathe and my strength is fading.
I can’t go like this. My Lord still needs me. I have a duty to fulfil. I owe him my life. But the ninja grabs me by the lapels, dragging me over to a ledge. Below I can see the cold river.
I try to grab my spear, but it’s too far out of reach. The other man grips my hair and yanks hard. Pain sears through my scalp as I finally lose my footing.
I fall to the ledge and he searches me, hands grabbing at my waist and boots.
When he finally seems convinced that I don’t have whatever he’s looking for, he kicks me in the side, spitting at me as I fall off the ledge.
I plunge into the cold water below.
I’ve failed him. I’ve let him down. I’ve broken my promise. I’m not ready to go home.
I hear the clashing of metal above me as I’m slowly swept away by the river. Odd, is someone else fighting? It’s too cold to think.
Soft thudding that grows nearer, then faster.
Splashing.
Strong arms pulling me from the river, against his warm chest. I gasp, beginning to cough up the water.
I’m barely conscious, but as he lifts me I know who it is. His pale blue hair resting on his collar, the familiar scent of fresh camomile in his clothes. It is always good to see him, but now I’ve become a burden. Further indebted to him than before. I chose to remain with the Kamisatos, but when it comes down to it, I’m the one relying on him.
He lays me against a mossy rock beside the river, kneeling over me and ripping my shirt open,
“Thoma?” I’ve never heard him sound like this, could he be angry? “You have to breathe.”
All I can feel is the rain pattering against my skin, running down my face as I struggle to inhale. I look into his eyes. He isn’t angry. He’s scared. The man who tackles political corruption and covert security, who fought his way to the position he now holds, is looking at me in abject horror.
It’s okay, I want to tell him. I delivered the letter.
At least I completed my mission.
“Thoma, please.” He’s pressing at my chest, as if to pump the water out, but it’s already gone. I’m just too weak. Perhaps if I just rest my eyes, I’ll feel better. He’s leaning closer, his normally pristine hair drenched. I’ll help him dry it later…
His warm mouth gently opens mine, his lips parting as he breathes into me. I feel a little strength return, just enough to take another breath. My hands clutch at his coat. He’s the anchor I need to stay here. I know it. I’m not ready to leave him.
“Thoma?” He sounds relieved as I sit up straighter, leaning into him. My chest still aches, but I’m just about managing shallow breaths. My cheeks are burning and I can still barely see, but I have to tell him,
“I delivered the letter, my Lord.” I rasp,
“You fool,” He says softly, “I couldn’t care less about that right now.” He pulls me closer, his arms wrapping around me,
“My Lord?” I hear my voice crack as I realise he is shaking. If the letter doesn’t matter then why is he here? Then I see the blood on his sleeve. “My Lord, are you hurt?”
“What? No, this isn’t mine. I swiftly dispatched the man who came after you.” He reassures me, and I’m glad he is unharmed, but I wish I had been able to finish the man myself. My fist hits the ground in frustration, “Thoma?”
“I… I should have been able to handle it.” I grit my teeth, “It was just one guy.”
“You have nothing to prove Thoma, I’ve seen you take on tougher enemies. You just got unlucky. This one was sly and highly trained. He used a dirty trick to defeat you. Speaking of which, we need to get you to a healer.”
I wanted to show him that I could handle the danger, but all I’ve done is prove I can’t. I struggle to my feet, ignoring the hand he offers. I have to get stronger so that he can rely on me more.
“Will you please look at me?” He says, and I’m taken aback by the vulnerability in his voice. I turn to face him and his gaze is steady, his lapis irises glimmering with sincerity, “I know that look. You think I don’t have enough faith in your abilities.”
“On the contrary my Lord, I had too much faith in them.”
“Thoma, you are my most trusted retainer. You’re right, I haven’t been eating enough. I’ve come to rely on you too much. I might have starved to death by now if you weren’t watching over me… but the reason I keep you from missions like this normally is because… well I’ve been over-protective. Perhaps if I let you go on more, you’ll gain the experience you need. If you want to, that is. I must confess, I didn’t want to put you in harm’s way.”
It took me a while for what he said to sink in,
“I’m here to serve you, in whatever way you see fit. Your judgement of my skills was fair, and I need to train more, but I would like to take on more challenges in the future. I trust your discernment.”
“Very well, I’ll let you know if anything appropriate arises. In the meantime, let's get you home.”
I allow my Lord to help me walk back to the estate, but with my troubles somewhat lifted, the sensation of his hand on my waist reminds me of another touch, of his mouth on mine as he breathed life into me. What would it feel like to be kissed by him again, with heat and hunger?
As soon as the thought crosses my mind, I banish it. No such thing would, or could ever happen, and I would be a fool to dwell on it. However, I’ve had a taste of him now, an intimate glimpse of what it might be like, if such a thing were possible.