Chapter Text
Kimizuki had to stop thinking.
He has to stop thinking about how the battle in Shinjuku nearly killed Yuu. How limp and dead he had felt when Kimizuki had seized him in a desperate grasp, yelling "Hurry, I'll carry him!". How his heart had slammed against his ribcage as he had made his way back, even when Yuu was lying on a bed. How the smaller boy cried in his sleep every night - such a vulnerable, pitiful sight, yet it was one that Kimizuki felt his heart ache for.
He dunked his head under the shower, trying not to think about anything in general. It had been five days since the battle in Shinjuku, and Yuu still hadn't woken up yet. He and Yoichi had taken shifts with Mitsuba, with Shinoa off somewhere. She had mentioned talking to Guren - Kimizuki didn't want to care about that.
To be honest, he never did realize how strongly he felt for Yuu. Neither did he realize what he felt until he saw Yuu in that state, blood dripping from his eyes and his wild, horrifying screaming echoing all around. He felt so stupid - it had taken Yuu nearly dying for him to realize he felt deeply concerned about him.
It hadn't only be that, however. Kimizuki closed his eyes, letting the water flow over his face as he recalled the scene in Shinjuku. His hand trailed up to touch his neck wound - that blasted female vampire had gotten a good bit of blood. But it wasn't that part which bothered him - it was what he saw during that moment. Yuu and that other vampire had been arguing above a ruined building, after the latter had carried him all the way there in the first place.
"You shouldn't be here, Yuu-chan!"
The vampire boy’s – Mika’s – eyes had been a clear, bright blue. Strange for a vampire – then again, Kimizuki didn’t want to know. He didn’t want him around.
“Abandon everything and run away with me!”
Kimizuki dug his fingers into his wound, allowing the pain to sharpen his mind. No - no, he couldn't feel this way. That was Yuu's childhood friend; the one that he had thought was dead. It was only natural for the vampire boy to desperately try to get Yuu on his side.
Yet when he had wrapped his arms around Yuu, preventing him from going to their aid… Kimizuki had felt so… so indescribably angry and upset. He didn’t want to hate Yuu’s friend, but if Yuu hadn’t done anything, they would have all died. Shinoa, Yoichi, Mitsuba and Kimizuki himself – none of them could die yet, they had so many things to do. Kimizuki still had his sister to look after.
But somehow, some part of him was telling him that the anger he felt wasn’t because of that.
His thoughts were broken when a loud clatter sounded outside the shower. He hastily poked his head out to see Yoichi, out of breath and flushed up to his ears.
“What’s wrong, Yoic-”
“He’s awake!” Yoichi burst out frantically. “Yuu-kun… he’s awake!”
At that moment, Kimizuki didn’t remember getting out of the shower and putting on his clothes. He didn’t remember how fast he had ran towards Yuu’s room with Yoichi calling out for him to wait behind him. He could only feel the erratic thudding of his heart as he stopped outside the room, breathing heavily as he stared inside.
The curtains were drawn, but Mitsuba’s voice rang out behind them – she was yelling about something, and Yuu’s voice could be heard.
“-you’re full of wounds too! Are you fine?”
Kimizuki bristled and reached out, only for Yoichi to tap his shoulder from behind. The small boy was grinning like an idiot – oh how Kimizuki wanted to wipe that smile off his face.
“I didn’t know you were so eager to see Yuu-kun,” he said softly, his tone teasing.
Kimizuki cursed soundlessly at him before withdrawing the curtains. “You’re in a hospital, shut your mouths,” he said, pulling on Mitsuba’s shoulder. He glanced up at Yuu – the sight of him looking well instantly relieved him of his burdens from a few days ago. His bright green eyes looked… almost happy to see him.
“What are you doing?!” Mitsuba protested, jerking her shoulder away from Kimizuki. He made a face at her – she always acted so girly around Yuu.
“Aren’t you just fine?” he muttered, looking away from Yuu.
“Yeah, thanks for your concern,” the boy replied, smiling. Kimizuki’s breath hitched – he wouldn’t have thought that Yuu was capable of making that face after what had happened. But he covered his worry with his usual arrogant face, turning his nose up.
“Huh? I wasn’t worrying about you or anything,” he said dryly, sticking his hands into his pockets. He was about to make a show of being careless when Shinoa popped up behind him.
“Kimizuki nursed you heroically on the way here,” she said in a deadpan tone.
“Huuuuuh!” Kimizuki exclaimed, breaking his cool expression and blushing furiously. Shinoa was grinning, but Yuu looked unamused – there was something in his eyes that told Kimizuki that deep down, he didn’t seem as happy as he looked.
Yuu paused for a moment to glance at him before laughing weakly, then clearing his throat. “Ah… Erm – can I have a moment?”
All four of them turned to him, questioning looks on their faces. Clearly, they all knew that it was going to be important.
“Thank you,” Yuu said solemnly. “I made you worry – I’m glad everyone made it out alive. I’m blessed with friends like you.”
The severe tone of which he had used made the other four look at each other in unison, their faces equally guarded. Of course, the first thing they did was to break the heavy tension the best they could. It was good to see Yuu back to his normal self, however as the night wore long, it was clear that he wasn’t the same. He kept staring out of the window, a glassy look in his eyes.
That night, Yuu insisted that Yoichi get a good night’s sleep in his own room, and that he would be fine by himself. Of course, no one bought that, and Kimizuki volunteered to keep an eye on him. Shinoa gave him a wicked grin, but it faded when he didn’t return it with an excuse.
“He’s our friend, after all,” Kimizuki said, shrugging.
With that, he was left by Yuu’s bedside, watching as the smaller boy’s chest rose and fell with his sleeping breaths. His hands, when not covered with gloves, were pale and covered with faint scars. Of course – they all had been training since they were kids. Nothing rare about seeing things like this. However Kimizuki resisted the urge to reach out and touch that hand – the blood streaked hand that had hung so limply just a few days ago.
Yuu’s sleeping face was strangely… angelic. Without his usual angry expressions or frowning, he looked like a normal teenager, with maybe a later puberty than most. Plus, after five continuous nights of tossing and turning and occasional crying, Yuu seemed to be sleeping deeply, much to Kimizuki’s relief.
He caught himself – no, he couldn’t let this happen. He couldn’t allow himself to feel so strongly for someone who wasn’t anything more than a comrade. Then again… ever since Kimizuki had met Yuu, his life had certainly been more meaningful than it had before, rather than just worrying about his sister.
Kimizuki rested his head on the side of the bed, feeling horribly conflicted. If he were to admit he liked Yuu… no – he could never do that. But Yuu had always had a strange pull to him – as if he had the ability to draw just anyone in, even Kimizuki. That night when they had fought, with Yuu dragging Kimizuki to see his sister – it was probably there when Kimizuki started feeling this way.
Quietly, he turned his head to look at Yuu. In the moonlight, his skin glowed pale and white, almost like a vampire. His lips were parted slightly, his breathing whispery in the silence of the room.
Kimizuki wondered how those lips felt like, if it had been Yuu against his neck instead of that vampire woman.
With that thought, Kimizuki sat up, his teeth gritted. He had to stop – this was going too far. Yuu was a comrade, not… not-
“For the love of-” He stood up and paced the room angrily, pressing a hand to his face. After he managed to cool down a little, he glanced at Yuu – the boy still looked so peaceful and quiet. Kimizuki had hardly ever seen that expression on him, seeing as he had always been so hot-blooded and eager for revenge.
Slowly – ever so slowly, he reached out to touch Yuu’s cheek, brushing away a lock of hair from his face. It was the ghostliest of touches, but Kimizuki almost shivered when he touched the warm skin. It took him about a couple of minutes to gather himself, starting to withdraw his hand reluctantly.
Suddenly, Yuu shifted in his sleep, mumbling something incoherent under his breath as he nuzzled against Kimizuki’s hand. It was obviously a sleeping gesture – it obviously meant nothing – but Kimizuki was suddenly seized with a wild urge, and he leaned over - until he heard the other boy breathe out a name.
“… Mika…”
Kimizuki froze, lips inches away from Yuu’s. He gripped at the bedsheets so hard he felt the fabric strain under his fingers. Slowly, he drew away, inhaling deeply – of course. It was only natural for… yeah. He couldn’t blame Yuu for that.
Still – what had he planned on doing? Kissing Yuu while he was asleep had little to no meaning, especially with Kimizuki still in conflict with himself. He stood up rigidly, fully intent on leaving the room.
In his sleep, Yuu let out a muffled sob, distracting Kimizuki from his flustered thoughts.
“D-don’t… don’t leave me… Mika…”
Kimizuki watched with a heavy heart as tears slid down from Yuu’s closed eyes. Slowly, he sat back down, watching Yuu with something that felt like tenderness, yet with a tinge of melancholy bitterness. He covered Yuu’s hand with his own, his long fingers stroking the smaller palm reassuringly until Yuu’s expression relaxed, and his breathing fell back to slow, steady ones.
“I won’t leave you,” Kimizuki murmured quietly, closing his eyes despite the awful feeling in his chest. “’S alright. I’m here for you.” And like that, without being aware how tired he felt, he allowed sleep to overcome him, his hand still over Yuu’s.