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new beginnings

Summary:

Injured and delirious, Kaeya makes his way to the Angel's Share in search of help.

Notes:

my contribution to ragbros injury + reconciliation fics bc i love putting them through it

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Kaeya isn’t sure how he finds himself at the entrance to the Angel’s Share. His legs are aching, head fuzzy and pounding in time with the throb of the wound in his thigh. He hardly remembers walking back to the city—half-wonders how he managed it in the first place, with the pain and delirium clouding his mind—though he knows it must have rained the entire time because he’s soaked through to the skin. 

It’s too late for the bar to be open. The light outside is extinguished, the sign used to display the specials nowhere to be seen. Logically, Kaeya knows that there’s no reason to be here in such a state. There are any number of more helpful places to be: home, for example, or the Ordo’s infirmary, even the church to see a healer; anywhere but his estranged brother’s bar… And yet his feet had carried him here. 

He should leave. Standing outside in the pouring rain and getting lost in the delirious hope that a certain redhead is miraculously waiting for him is inane and stupid, but the idea of walking any further makes Kaeya’s wounded leg throb in protest. He pushes his gloved hand harshly against it as though the pressure might stave off the pain. Instead, it sends a searing sting through him so sharply that he sucks in a hiss through his teeth and falls heavily against the door. 

To his distant surprise, it swings open without resistance. Kaeya yelps as he pitches forward, barely managing to keep himself on his feet. It takes all of his strength to fight against the blinding pain that the sudden movement invokes, and when he comes to he’s fallen against the wall just inside the Angel’s Share, both hands clasped firmly against his side to ground himself. 

“Kaeya!” A familiar voice calls, and Kaeya wants to cry at the sound of it, wants to stumble around the bar and into his brother’s arms, but Diluc isn’t his brother anymore and he hasn’t been for years and even Kaeya’s name on his lips sounds angry and hateful and Kaeya is so tired and it hurts so badly—

“What are you doing here?” Diluc demands, breaking through the wave of pain-induced hysteria that’s crashed over Kaeya. 

He sucks in a deep breath and forces himself to stand straight, to play the role of the nonchalant, clever Cavalry Captain he’s adopted. “What does it look like? I’m getting a drink.” 

He stumbles to the bar, doing his best to look drunk instead of delirious with pain. Diluc glares heatedly at him as Kaeya collapses into the closest seat and immediately lays his head down on the cool, clean countertop. 

“You’ve had more than enough by the looks of it,” Diluc seethes. “Besides—we’re closed.”

Kaeya doesn’t have the strength to argue with Diluc about the truth of his disorientation. Instead he tilts his head to the side to catch Diluc’s gaze and asks, “then why’re you still here?”

A hint of pink rises to Diluc’s cheeks and for a second Kaeya thinks he catches bashfulness on the man’s face, though he can’t begin to think of why Diluc might be embarrassed. “I thought—you haven’t been here in a few days—” Kaeya blinks slowly as Diluc trips over his words, trying to make sense of what he’s saying. Diluc seems to notice the haze in his eye, his own expression clouding. “Nevermind that,” he says, the bite returning to his tone. “Clearly I was worried for nothing. You were only out drinking yourself into a stupor, as usual.” 

Kaeya watches Diluc’s face and tries to make sense of his rapid changes in attitude, but his vision is swimming now and it’s hard to keep his eye focused on one spot. Fortunately, years of practice have taught Keaya to hear the annoyance in Diluc’s voice without seeing him properly, and he knows immediately that whatever he’s done this time has pushed Diluc to his breaking point. 

On a normal night, this would be Kaeya’s cue to push himself out of his seat and make his way to the door. As much as he pretends that he enjoys arguing with Diluc, even he can’t make light of the situation when Diluc is this angry. Seeing the unbridled hatred in his former brother’s eyes cuts too deeply, cleaves through his scarred-over heart and leaves Kaeya feeling exposed and weak in a way that he usually drowns out with one too many glasses of Death After Noon. 

Tonight, though, Kaeya doesn’t have the strength to leave. If Diluc’s ire is all he can have, he’ll take it gladly. Even the sting of Diluc’s hatred isn’t enough to drive away the instinctual comfort that Kaeya gets from his presence. He knows it’s absurd to find safety in Diluc after all they’ve been through, but Kaeya can’t help but to trust him and that fiery sense of righteousness that Diluc carries with him. After all, Kaeya knows that he’s destined to be on the receiving end of Diluc’s swift justice one day. He’s a traitor—a monster— but there’s comfort in knowing that Diluc will never let him fulfill his original purpose in coming to Mondstadt. That his brother will cut him down before he gets the chance to betray the only home he’s ever known. 

Kaeya.” 

Diluc says his name so loudly and with so much annoyance imbued into it that Kaeya knows this isn’t his first attempt at getting his attention. 

“Sorry,” Kaeya says, trying for nonchalance. He’s getting dizzier despite resting, he realizes. He must be losing more blood than he’d thought. He should probably be alarmed by that, but everything feels so distant, like he’s looking at his life through a thick fog. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Diluc demands, well and truly fuming now. “I already told you I’m not serving you anything. Are you really this incompetent? Go home and rest.”

Diluc’s voice slams against Kaeya’s head like a hammer, the pounding growing worse with each word. Despite himself, Kaeya feels his temper flaring up to match his brother’s. Does Diluc truly have so little faith in him that he thinks Kaeya would come to the bar like this for nothing? His presence must truly be unbearable if Diluc is willing to treat him this way when he’s so obviously in need. 

“Fuck off, Diluc,” Kaeya hisses bitterly, more venom in his tone than he’d intended. 

The direct rebuff comes as a shock to Diluc. He rears back with wide, enraged crimson eyes. Kaeya rarely speaks so plainly with him, even during the worst of their arguments. He has always preferred to talk circles around Diluc, to deliver pointed jabs and clever taunts rather than stooping to crass insults. 

Excuse me ?” Diluc demands after several seconds of stunned, silent fuming. “Need I remind you that we’re in my bar, and I’m well within my rights to throw you out on your ass?”

“Then why don’t you?” Kaeya spits back, the rage in his voice clear even as his words begin to slur together at the ends. “Wouldn’t be the first time you kicked me out without caring to see where I ended up.”

Kaeya tries to raise his head and glare at Diluc as he speaks, but his head swims when he lifts it off of the countertop. Black overtakes his vision and the thrumming in his eardrums grows louder, blotting out all sound. For a moment Kaeya is suspended in darkness, blind and deaf, struggling to kick himself back to consciousness. 

It’s Diluc’s hands on his arms, so warm that they nearly burn Kaeya even through Diluc’s gloves and his own soaked shirt, that finally drag him back to reality. Diluc is standing in front of him, holding Kaeya’s arms in a rough grip as he drags him off of his seat at the bar. Kaeya yelps in pain as his injury is jostled, swaying into Diluc and falling heavily against his chest. Despite everything, the warmth of his brother’s body still sends a pang of comfort through Kaeya and he finds himself leaning more heavily against Diluc as he’s dragged to the door. 

The rumbling of Diluc’s chest against his ear alerts Kaeya to the fact that Diluc is speaking. 

“—can’t believe I was worried about you,” Diluc fumes, and it’s clear that he’s been ranting for a moment. “You’re unbelievable. I’d tell you not to come back, but you probably won’t even remember this tomorrow. How much have you had to drink?” 

Kaeya’s head is becoming fuzzier by the minute. His vision swims, catching flashes of red hair and flaming eyes as he stumbles to keep up with his brother. A burst of cool air on his back makes him shiver, and he hears the sound of rain pounding against the pavement. Belatedly, Kaeya realizes that Diluc’s opened the door to the bar and is ushering him out of it. 

“I’m not drunk,” Kaeya says, a last ditch effort to remain close to the warmth of his brother’s embrace (if being manhandled can truly be called an embrace). He’s so cold, he can’t go back out there, please—

Diluc scoffs. “You can’t even stand, Kaeya.” He takes a step away and Kaeya stumbles harshly, putting weight on his injured leg.

A tortured cry falls from Kaeya’s lips and he goes careening into the outer wall of the bar, clutching desperately at its rain-slicked exterior to keep himself upright. His head knocks against the wall with a harsh thump. The rain pounds into his back, slick cold seeping into his skin. Kaeya looks up through the rain-soaked bangs plastered to his forehead and tries to meet Diluc’s gaze, but the darkness of the night and the haziness of his mind makes it impossible to focus. 

“Don’t look at me for help. You got yourself this drunk—now you can figure out your own way home, Captain Alberich.” Diluc spits the title out with unrivaled contempt, a clear mockery.

Kaeya stands there, staring, trying to formulate a response. Everything feels too heavy—his mind, his body, his heart—and it's impossible to think straight. He wants to tell Diluc that he’s not drunk. That he’s in pain and he’s cold and he doesn’t care about anything except feeling better. That he doesn’t mind if Diluc hates him, he just wants to feel warm in the way only Diluc can make him feel. But his mouth flops open uselessly, lips chattering and blue, no sound escaping him despite his best efforts.

Diluc stares at him for a moment, expectant. As the silence stretches out between them, his anger becomes more and more visible, etching itself into the stark lines of his face. 

“Typical,” he spits, fuming. Then he turns on his heel and walks back into the bar, slamming the door shut with a note of finality. 

Kaeya stares at the closed door for several long moments, uncomprehending. Had that really just happened? He’s starting to wonder if this entire night has been a hallucination brought on by blood loss and he’s actually still lying in a ditch somewhere outside of Wolvendom, dying slow and alone. 

He’s not sure how long he stands three, trying to put the pieces of his scattered memory together. Based on the steady cold sinking into his bones, he guesses it’s been a while by the time the door swings open again just as abruptly as it had been slammed closed and Diluc steps out into the night, this time with his heavy black coat on. When he sees Kaeya, his sour expression turns absolutely murderous. 

“What the hell are you still doing here?” 

Kaeya doesn’t manage an answer. He lurches forward, wanting to reach out for Diluc, and instead lets out an abrupt cry as pain rockets up his injured leg. 

Luc —” He manages, the sound choked and agonized, before his legs give out beneath him and he falls heavily to his knees on the wet street. He’s about to fall face-first against the cobblestones when two hands catch him by the shoulders, holding him aloft. 

“Kaeya!” Diluc yelps, and this time there’s more concern in his voice than anger. “What—you never drink this much—you’re—have you been drugged?” It’s clear that his mind is running a mile a minute, trying to put the pieces together. 

“‘Dunno,” Kaeya slurs, entirely unhelpful. The world tilts again; Diluc’s image wavers at the corners of his vision. “Leg hurts. Got… ambushed, I think.”

What?” Diluc scrambles to readjust his grip on Kaeya so he can wrench off one of his gloves, then presses it to Kaeya’s forehead. He’s freezing, unnaturally cold even for a cryo allogene. A string of curses falls from his lips. 

Diluc shifts Kaeya forward so that he can inspect his legs and a shocked cry tears itself from his mouth when he finally catches sight of the deep gash on Kaeya’s leg. The wound is only partially visible in the dim light of the moon, but it doesn’t take much to tell that it’s bad. So bad that Diluc’s not sure how Kaeya managed to get to him in the first place, though it doesn’t matter much now—what really matters is getting Kaeya to a healer, fast. 

“Kaeya,” Diluc says, clutching his brother’s face between his hands. “I’m taking you to the Cathedral, alright? You’re—it looks like you’ve lost a lot of blood.” His voice is shaky with panic as he speaks. 

Kaeya’s visible eye is hazy and unfocused, hardly able to meet Diluc’s gaze. He’s not exactly sure what’s happening anymore, but he thinks he’s dying. Surely Diluc wouldn’t be helping him otherwise. “You came,” he gasps in a daze, the relief in his voice palpable. “‘Luc… I’m sorry for everything. It’s my fault. Glad it’s you who gets to… Ah…”

His lone eye rolls upward before he can finish the thought. The strength leaves Kaeya’s body and he slumps limply into Diluc’s arms, unresponsive. 

Kaeya!” 

A desperate urgency takes hold of Diluc and he finds himself gathering Kaeya’s limp, freezing body into his arms. He bolts in the direction of the cathedral, hoping against hope that it’s not too late to get his brother help—that his stupid, reckless anger hasn’t just cost his last surviving family member his life. 

Diluc bursts through the cathedral’s ornate doors with desperate shouts already on his lips. He’s got one arm hooked beneath Kaeya’s knees, the other at his back, and Kaeya’s head is tucked against his shoulder. He’s completely still in Diluc’s hold, the hand that’s not pinned against his brother’s heaving chest swinging lifelessly as Diluc rushes further into the quiet church. 

It takes several more shouts before someone appears, a familiar head of blond hair popping into view from the top of a staircase that leads to the upper floor of the church. The Deaconess’ normally neat hair is a curly mess around her head, her night dress billowing out behind her as she sprints down the stairs. 

“Barbara,” Diluc gasps in relief, rushing forward. Her eyes flit over Kaeya’s limp body, widening slightly before determination takes hold. 

“This way,” she says, urging Diluc to an empty row of pews. 

Diluc lays Kaeya down with immeasurable gentleness, watching as Barbara comes to his brother’s side and sets to work without a moment of hesitation. The healing process is both endless and instantaneous, her hands working gently as she sends waves of magic over him. Diluc watches on, suspended in time, until she finally steps back with a sigh of relief. 

“I’ve healed the worst of the wound, but he lost a lot of blood,” Barbara says, “he’ll be alright as long as he has someone to watch over him and make sure he’s taking it easy. I’ll send for Sister Rosaria—they seem to get along well.”

“No need. I’ll do it.” Diluc says, the words falling from his lips before he can fully process what he’s said. 

Barbara shoots him a dubious look and Diluc grimaces. He supposes it makes sense that she’d be skeptical considering how open he’s been about his distaste for Kaeya, but… Diluc can’t be away from him right now. Not after what he’d done, what he’d said… Kaeya had sought help out, sought him out, and Diluc had turned him away. What might have happened if he’d decided not to return home that night? If he’d left the bar an hour or two later? 

Would he have stepped out of the Angel’s Share to find Kaeya face-first against the cold cobblestones, laying still in a pool of his own blood? Would he have lost his brother before he even had the chance to try and get him back? The thought sends a pang of deep terror through him, and the fear doesn’t assuage even as Diluc stares at the steady rise-and-fall of Kaeya’s chest. 

“Master Diluc…” Barbara starts cautiously. “The Captain needs somebody who can be trusted to look after him—”

“I can,” Diluc interjects fiercely. 

“— without losing their temper on him when he wakes up. I… I know that you’re concerned for him, but if I can’t trust you not to storm off when he gets on your nerves, I can’t let you look after him. You’ll have to make sure he’s eating and drinking enough, and that he’s not trying to get back to work or straining himself—and no arguing, either.”

Diluc looks down at Kaeya’s pallid face, sees a raindrop drip onto his cheek from his waterlogged hair. His gaze flits downward to Kaeya’s bloodied pantleg, ripped open by Barbara to get access to the wound, and his heart seizes with panic. The idea of being away from Kaeya after coming so close to losing him is impossible.

“I won’t,” Diluc promises, his jaw setting with determination. “I’ll take care of him. Please . I can’t—I need to know that he’s alright.”

Barbara eyes him skeptically for a moment before her expression shifts into something soft and sad. “Alright,” she sighs. “Take him straight home and make sure he changes into something warm.”

Diluc nods and shrugs out of his coat, wrapping it around Kaeya before scooping the man into his arms once more. Kaeya is by no means light, but the weight hardly feels like anything when compared to the crushing weight of a world without him in it. Diluc clutches him close and hurries out of the cathedral, making his way to Kaeya’s apartment. 

He’s never actually been inside of Kaeya’s home before. It’s easy getting in—luckily, Kaeya’s keys were tucked into his pocket—but Diluc hesitates at the door even so. Would Kaeya even want him here? Surely the man must hate him after everything. If all of Diluc’s wrongdoings in the past weren’t enough to make Kaeya hate him, the callousness Diluc had treated him with tonight would likely be the final straw. It was only delusion that had made Kaeya seek him out to begin with, or maybe Kaeya wasn’t looking for him at all. Perhaps he’d just stumbled toward the first familiar thing he saw and had the misfortune of running into Diluc along the way.

There’s nothing else to be done, though. Diluc’s already committed to taking care of Kaeya—and, truthfully, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to leave until he sees his brother healthy and well again. 

Diluc glances around as he steps through the doorway. Kaeya’s home begins with a small but cozy living room. There’s a hallway to his right. On his left side is a door that appears to lead into the kitchen. 

Diluc heads down the hallway first. There’s three doors: one is hanging open, the other two shut. The first one is Kaeya’s study, Diluc discovers after he gets the door open (with much difficulty considering the six-foot-something man in his arms). The open door on the other side of the hall leads into the bathroom. The last door, to Diluc’s relief, is Kaeya’s bedroom. 

He eases Kaeya down onto the bed as gently as he can. Kaeya shifts, eyebrows twitching as the warmth enveloping him disappears, but otherwise doesn’t stir. Diluc reaches out, gently brushing the hair away from Kaeya’s face, before he turns away to start searching for some dry clothes. 


Kaeya wakes up to warmth on his face and the sound of somebody walking down the hallway toward his bedroom. 

He barely has time to sit up, a terrible ache in his head as he does so, before the door is slowly pushed open. Diluc, of all people, is standing in his doorway with a plate of food in one hand and a glass of water clutched in the other. His hair is tied in a haphazard bun, crimson eyes rimmed with dark circles, coat and gloves missing. He freezes when his gaze lands on Kaeya, stalling with one foot in the room and one foot out.

“You’re awake,” he says after a moment, and the relief in his voice is so deep and so honest that Kaeya is reminded of times long since past. It’s unlike Diluc to be so openly concerned about him. As far as Kaeya knew, Diluc had long since stopped caring about his well being.

“You’re in my apartment,” Kaeya shoots back, confused. His head feels fuzzy, his mind struggling to piece together how Diluc had gotten here—how he’d gotten here. The last thing he remembered was being in Wolvendom and feeling the searing strike of electro energy on his back, realizing he’d been ambushed… Had Diluc found him in the forest? 

“Yes…” Diluc admits, having the decency to look sheepish. Seeming to remember his purpose, he steps further into the room and gently sets the plate in Kaeya’s lap. “You came to the tavern with a bad leg wound last night. I… I took you to see Barbara. Do you remember anything?”

Kaeya thinks back to the previous night and vaguely recalls flashes of red hair and cold rain biting into his skin. He thinks he remembers Diluc yelling at him, hands gripping harshly at his arms as he was forced out of the tavern. 

“...You kicked me out.” Kaeya says. 

A frown rises to Diluc’s face, guilt in his eyes. “I did,” he admits, dropping his gaze to the floor. “And then I went to leave and found you outside still. You’d lost a lot of blood and you fainted—”

“And you felt sorry for kicking me out into the rain, so you stayed to make me breakfast after I was healed.” Kaeya concludes with a bitter smile. 

“No!” Diluc says. Then, “Well, yes. Partially. I shouldn’t have left you out there in the state you were in. Even if you had only been drunk, it was cruel of me to try and send you away. You could have died, and I…” Diluc cuts himself off, emotion choking him as the image of Kaeya’s eye rolling back flashed through his mind once more. He thought of how shallow his brother’s breathing had been as he’d carried him to the cathedral, how cold he was to the touch. He’d come so close to losing Kaeya without even realizing it, hadn’t he? 

“Didn’t want to have my blood on your hands?” Kaeya interjects once again, his smirk more firmly in place now. “Well, I’m sure you’re relieved to see that I’m alive and well. I trust you can see yourself out?”

“I’m not leaving.”

Kaeya blinks once, then twice. “What? Why? You’ve done your job—another citizen of Mondstadt saved by the valiant Darknight Hero, forever in your debt. There’s no reason to linger—”

“Kaeya,” Diluc cuts in, “I’m here to stay. At least until you’re better.”

“I’m fine,” Kaeya says immediately. “I was healed, wasn’t I? I’ll be back on my feet by tomorrow, and I can take care of myself for today. There’s no reason to feel guilty, Master Diluc; you’ve maintained your honor. Now kindly see yourself out.” 

Diluc’s frown deepens. “Do you really think that I’m only here because I feel  guilty about kicking you out last night?” 

Kaeya shrugs. “Why else would you be trying to take care of someone that you despise?”

Diluc reels back as though he’s been slapped. “I don’t despise you—”

A bitter, humorless laugh falls from Kaeya’s lips. A dull pang of pain shoots through him with each laugh, but he can’t seem to stop himself—the assertion that Diluc of all people doesn’t hate him is simply too much. “Well, I don’t recall you being very concerned for my well being when you threw me out of your home and told me that I was no longer your brother—”

Diluc freezes and for a moment Kaeya thinks that’s going to be it. That Diluc will go cold and stoic the way he usually does, anger seething just beneath the surface but refusing to be unleashed. That he’ll turn and walk out the door without another word, giving up on attempting to take care of Kaeya at all. It wouldn’t be the first time. Kaeya can recall more than one occasion since that fateful fight where Diluc had simply refused to deal with him any longer, usually electing to simply walk away from Kaeya whenever an argument got too emotional. 

Instead, Diluc’s face twists with something more like sadness than anger, as though he actually regrets what he’d done. “I—I’d just killed Father, and then you decided that was the night you had to tell me about what you were sent to Mond to do. I thought that my brother was a traitor.” 

“Exactly,” Kaeya replies, smiling sadly. “I’m a traitor, so why help me now unless it’s out of a misplaced sense of obligation? You said it yourself; I’m not your brother. There’s no reason for you to be here.”

It’s this that finally sets Diluc over the edge. His voice is thick and raw with emotion as he shouts, “I’m here because I almost lost you!” 

Kaeya blinks, staring at Diluc with the sort of surprise he usually tries to conceal at all costs—but he can’t, he can’t act like he doesn’t care when there are actual, Archons-damned tears budding in Diluc’s eyes. 

“You were—you were laying there in the rain and you weren’t moving and there was so much blood, you were hurt and you could have frozen to death out there,” Diluc gasps out, his words coming out at an increasingly panicked pace. “It—it was just like the night Father died—when I—I threw you out—it was my fault. Yesterday too, it was all my fault—

“Stop!” 

The shout jerks Diluc out of his panicked rambling and he raises his head from where he’d been staring at his trembling hands—when had he started shaking like that?—to look at Kaeya. Kaeya, who has swung both legs over the edge of the bed and is now attempting to stand on his own. 

Coming to his senses with a startled yelp, Diluc surges forward and clasps both hands over Kaeya’s shoulders to keep him seated. Kaeya flinches under his touch and guilt washes over Diluc in a wave, but he keeps his hands planted where they are to make sure that Kaeya doesn’t hurt himself further by getting up to do Archons-know-what. 

“You can’t,” Diluc’s voice is still faintly shaky, tears drying on his flushed cheeks. “Barbara healed you, but you still need to rest and keep weight off of your leg.” 

It’s not often that Kaeya is left speechless, but Diluc has always possessed the unique ability to defy all of his expectations—for better or for worse. Something about the unbridled, crushing guilt in Diluc’s eyes makes it hard for Kaeya to breathe. It would be a lie to say that Kaeya didn’t wish his former brother would show some emotion when speaking to him, something to indicate that their parting tore him up inside the way it did Kaeya, but he’d never wanted it to happen like this. 

Even after all the time they’d spent estranged, all of the hurt that lingered between them, Kaeya still can’t stand the sight of his brother’s tears. 

“Diluc…” He begins slowly, parsing out his words. For a man who usually knows just what to say to ease a difficult situation, Kaeya’s at a loss here. “What happened wasn’t your fault. Not yesterday and not… not then, either. I knew it was the wrong time to tell you. I knew you wouldn’t take the news well. I should have waited to tell you, or perhaps I should have told you and Father from the start. Keeping such a big secret for so long only to reveal it at one of the lowest points of our lives—it was deliberately cruel.”

Diluc doesn’t seem particularly surprised to learn that Kaeya had known how he would react. In fact, the news only seems to make things worse, for tears well up in his eyes once more. 

“I thought so,” Diluc admits. “I suspected… When you dropped your blade, when you refused to fight back… You wanted me to kill you, didn’t you?”

Kaeya can’t stand the pain in Diluc’s gaze, so he drops his head. Voice barely a whisper, he replies, “yes.”

Diluc’s hands seize on his shoulders, squeezing tightly, but the touch isn’t harsh. No, in fact, he’s trembling worse than ever. “You… wanted to die.”

It’s not exactly a question but Kaeya answers anyway. Defeated, he sighs, “I did.”

“And you still do.” 

Kaeya jerks his head up, wide-eyed, meeting Diluc’s terrified stare. “What? No, I—”

“Don’t lie,” Diluc interrupts instantly. “Last night, you said… You said you were glad it was me. Who gets to do something. You were delirious and thought you were dying, that I was killing you. I know you were thinking.”

“Who knows what I was thinking?” Kaeya huffs, deliberately evasive. His eyes are on the floor again. “I was injured and delirious. It didn’t mean anything, Diluc. Nothing that happened means anything, and it definitely wasn’t your fault. I don’t want you to kill me anymore, okay?”

“But you still want someone to kill you?” Prompts Diluc, urgency in his voice. 

“I’m too tired for this. Didn’t you say I was supposed to be resting? I’m quite certain this much stress isn’t conducive to a healthy recovery—”

Kaeya.”

“Why do you even care? It doesn’t matter!” Kaeya snaps, finally at his breaking point. “I already told you that everything was my fault, damn it! You’re absolved of guilt, Master Diluc; now kindly leave me to mine.”

For a moment, there’s silence. Diluc’s grip on Kaeya’s shoulders loosens, hands slipping weakly down his shoulders as he retracts. Disappointment twists in Kaeya’s gut, but doesn’t get long to fester because in the next second Diluc’s stooping down to fling his arms around Kaeya, collapsing to his knees beside the bed as he drags Kaeya into him. 

No,” Diluc says, clutching the loose fabric of Kaeya’s nightshirt into fistfuls at his back. “I already lost you once. I-I can’t—I can’t let that happen again. I don’t want you dead, Kaeya. I don’t want to pretend to hate you. I don’t want us to fight.”

Kaeya’s arms hang limp at his sides. He’s so stunned it’s as though he’s incapable of movement. Diluc doesn’t seem to mind, though; he just clutches Kaeya close and breathes into his chest, back heaving with silent sobs. 

Slowly, Kaeya manages, “...what do you want, then?”

Diluc sucks in a deep, shaky breath. “I want to be your brother.”

It’s as though everything slots into place at once. Kaeya’s eye feels suddenly wet, his own shoulders shaking as he tries in vain to hold back tears. Diluc’s confession can’t fix everything, nor can Kaeya’s—but it’s a start. It’s a beginning. 

Kaeya drops his head onto Diluc’s shoulder and wraps his arm around his brother’s shaking form. “Okay,” he whispers, rubbing comforting circles into Diluc’s back, “okay.” 

Notes:

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