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“We should get married.”
The words ran through Kunikida’s ears, down his throat and stole the breath out of him before he could even blink. He stood quickly from his seat, words dying on his tongue as he opened and closed his mouth like a pathetic stapler. He twitched like a glitching video replay, his neck quickly becoming sore from the movement. He looked down at Dazai between his incessant blinking in utter disbelief at what had been so casually said. He probably couldn’t breathe but he was too distracted by the way his vision was blurring to care.
“My love, you look like you’re about to fall over, maybe you should take a seat,” Dazai giggled.
“What did you…” Kunikida continued to blink at him, “What?”
“I said you should take a seat.”
“No, no, no, before that. What?!”
“Huh?”
“Did you just… Did you…”
“Did I what , dear? Use your words.”
“Marriage?! Married?!”
“Form the full question, I know you can do it, sweetheart.”
“Do you just ask me to marry you?!”
Dazai grinned widely, “More accurately, I told you we should get married but I’ll take it.”
“Dazai?!”
“So, what do you think? Should we go now or….?”
“D-Dazai we haven’t even been dating a full year, what do you mean—“
“I know, I know. 328 days. You mark it in your notebook every morning, it’s very cute.”
“It’s… not cute… It’s practical…” Kunikida grumbled to himself.
“But just think… It’s only 1,133 days until you ask me to marry you anyway!”
“You’re not supposed to know that—!”
“My point is! You’ve already set your heart on spending the rest of your life with me. Why postpone it longer?”
“B-Because! You haven’t even met my mother! I don’t even know the names of your parents! I don’t even know if you have siblings! You still haven’t filled me in on those years you spent between the mafia and the agency doing god knows what! I don’t know you! You don’t know me! We’re not ready to get married so soon, are you insane?!”
Dazai smiled softly at him, “Maybe… But… Our job isn’t exactly the most stable one… Do we really know that we’ll make it to day1,461?”
“We’re… We’re scheduled to make it to at least 5,476…”
“I know… And you know I wish I wanted to get there with you…”
“But you don’t.”
“I wouldn’t say that exactly…”
“The temptation of death is more appealing than a ten year marriage anniversary with me, I understand,” Kunikida said, dismissively.
“It’s not you, I just… I never even planned to live past 18…” Dazai said, “I love you and I love being with you but I can’t trust my head will always be here… I…”
“I-I know…” Kunikida couldn’t look at him.
“I don’t want to leave you… And I… I think maybe a wedding ring right in front of my face might remind me of that when I need it…”
Kunikida looked up at him, softening significantly, “Oh. That’s… sweet.”
“I know,” Dazai grinned.
Kunikida sighed, “You can’t just… say that stuff…”
“Oh, but I can. I can even mean every word of it…”
“Ugh…” Kunikida leaned forward, bringing Dazai into a quick kiss, “I hate you, you know that?”
“Enough to marry me?”
“Oh, I hate you even more than that…”
“Aw, stop it,” Dazai couldn’t hide his smile, “You’ll make me blush.”
“If only that were enough to shut you up…”
“Be careful what you wish for, dear…” Dazai rose on his toes to steal another kiss.
Kunikida gently took Dazai’s face in his hand and melted to the way he melted into him. As Dazai closed his eyes, pressing himself further into Kunikida’s touch, Kunikida thought over the offer again. It was absurd to say the least. They were too young and Dazai was irresponsible enough for the both of them. It would throw out every step in their relationship he’d mapped out and the idea of that infuriated him. But… Dazai was right that he’d already committed himself to committing. He’d already imagined it all. And he’d already loved every moment of it — or, every imagined moment. As his eyes returned their focus to Dazai in front of him, he realised how very much in love he was. If they did it now, they’d be able to make it even longer than ten years…
“Well, it…” Kunikida softened his voice to match Dazai’s gaze, “It was meant to be me who proposed but… Fine. Fine, let’s get married.”
It was Dazai’s turn to blink incredulously, “What?”
“Let’s get married.”
“Seriously?”
Kunikida nodded.
“I… I was kind of joking…” Dazai lowered his head.
Kunikida’s eye twitched, “You were what?”
“I didn’t expect you to actually say yes!”
“Dazai! Then why propose it at all?!”
“I— I don’t know?!”
“You can’t just—! You—!” Kunikida retreated his hand from Dazai’s cheek and stepped back.
“W-Wait, sweetheart I just…”
“Quiet! Just…” Kunikida sat down, “Just quiet…”
“Don’t be upset with me,” Dazai said, plainly ignoring Kunikida’s ask, “Please, don’t be upset with me…”
“I’m… not. No, I’m not upset with you…”
“You look very upset with me and lying is not a good look on you, dear, it ages you.”
“It’s not you! I’m not upset with
you!
I… I’m upset because I got caught up in the idea of, well… of us really being married…”
Dazai stepped forward and kneeled in front Kunikida’s chair looking up at him with doe eyes. “You… What?” he said.
“You can’t go infect my head with thoughts like that if you don’t mean it… Okay? I just… It’s no secret that I love you… probably too much for my own good… and so… try not to get my hopes up… please…”
“Love, I didn’t mean to… I’m… I’m not exactly marriage material, you can’t really blame me for assuming that you’d—”
“You just convinced me that you are marriage material! And w-well, I wholeheartedly believe it!”
Dazai blinked again, “You… You do?”
“I love you too much for my own good… Of course, I do…”
“And you’d… You’d marry me? Just like that? You don’t even know my parents' names… I— I haven’t met your mother…”
“You’ll meet her… And I would love to introduce you as… my husband…”
Dazai fell back onto the floor, staring up at Kunikida with wide eyes.
“Are… you okay?”
“Husband…” Dazai parroted.
Kunikida pushed himself off his chair to join Dazai on the floor. “Yeah… Husband…”
“That… That’s a big word that you’re just… throwing around like that…”
“Darling, you’re the one who brought all of this up—”
“I know! But… It’s so terribly and terrifyingly real when you start saying words like that…” Dazai smiled, trying to keep the mood light despite the obvious anxiety bubbling away in his head.
“Mm… Vows… Reception… Honeymoon… Mortgage… Children—”
“What are you doing?!”
“I figure if I said more words like that maybe it’d desensitise you. It’s also sadistically satisfying to watch you squirm like that.”
Dazai pouted, “I hate you…”
“No, you don’t…”
“No, I don’t…”
Kunikida smiled. “I love you…”
“I love you too…”
“So…” Kunikida reached for Dazai’s hand, “Are we getting married or not?”
“We will…” Dazai took his hand easily, “But not today… Or tomorrow… Let’s get to at least 365 days first, I think…”
“That sounds reasonable…”
“Wonderful! I shall eagerly await your proposal…”