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“Hakaze-kun, want me to paint your nails?”
“Huh?”
Kaoru wasn’t sure how the topic shifted to nail polish — not that he had been listening much in the first place, but still — Rei had just finished performing at the live house, Kaoru had given him a ‘good job’ after handing him a towel backstage, and now Rei was offering to paint his nails.
Rei shrugged. “Just wonderin’. Thanks for the towel, by the way.”
After wiping himself, he threw the towel back to Kaoru, who cringed with a face of apparent disgust. “Uh, that’s kinda gross?” He remarked, momentarily stepping away to set the towel aside. “But sure, I guess? Not that nail polish is really my thing, but whatever. Some girls are into that stuff.”
Rei cocked his head. “Oh? I think it’d fit your style though, Hakaze-kun,” he said, “You know, that whole frivolous playboy act you’ve got going on.” His words were accompanied by the nonchalant flourish of a hand, displaying polished black nails.
“Ah? Could you not say that, Sakuma-san? Hearing that from you feels kinda weird.”
Of course, Rei didn’t seem to pay his words any mind, if his blithe smile was anything to go by — though Kaoru wasn’t expecting him to heed his words anyway.
“Always so flippant, Sakuma-san,” he huffed. “Well, whatever. Did you want me to go home with you or something? Your performance was the last one scheduled anyway.”
“You’re rather blunt yourself, Hakaze-kun,” Rei said, wearing a look of amusement. “I’m feelin’ quite energized, so I don’t mind you coming along with me now — but it’s pretty late. Sure you don’t wanna go home instead? I can do your nails some other time.”
“I don’t really care. I mean, I don’t have anything else to do right now, so why not? And I’d rather not have to spend time planning a hangout with some guy.”
“Right,” Rei laughed. “I should know that Hakaze-kun’s always busy with girls.”
Kaoru hummed. “I can’t tell if that’s an insult or not? But I don’t really care either way,” he said breezily. “Let me go gather my things and then we can head to your place, I guess. Make sure to go out the back door.”
Rei nodded as he went to wait outside.
It was rather cold out, he noted, flinging his leather jacket over-the-shoulder. In any case, the sudden temperature drop didn’t bother him. After all, his face was still rosy from post-concert exhilaration, and the heated performance left him invulnerable to the chilly night air. From across the street, he watched with idle interest as a moth fluttered against a flickering lamplight, led astray by the insincere warmth of artificial light.
Kaoru emerged from the live house with a bag slung over his shoulder.
“Sorry for the wait,” he said, closing the door behind him. “What are you looking at, Sakuma-san? Any cute girls?”
“On the contrary,” Rei laughed, “a fool caught my attention. Reminded me of Puppy, you know?”
He started walking, and Kaoru followed closely behind.
“...Uh, okay? You guys have a weird relationship, that’s for sure.”
Rei shook his head, sighing, “It’s not so weird as it is tiresome. That Puppy’s always yappering non-stop.”
Kaoru laughed quietly.
They continued walking, footsteps echoing against the cool concrete, and the rest of the walk was relatively silent. Maybe it was just an unnecessary division that Kaoru had created, but they didn’t have much to talk about, belonging to vastly different worlds.
Reaching the doorstep, Rei twisted a key and unlocked the door in a fluid motion, running fingers through his hair. He brusquely tossed his jacket aside, raising a brow as he noticed Kaoru was still outside.
“What, are you a vampire, Hakaze-kun?” He joked.
“What?”
“Pft. Come on in,” Rei said in a gentler tone, gesturing Kaoru inside as he pushed the door wider open.
“Sorry for the intrusion~.”
“No need to be so polite, Hakaze-kun,” Rei laughed, kicking the door shut and removing his shoes in a similar fashion. “Want anything to drink?”
“You’re saying your fridge has drinks other than tomato juice?” Kaoru teased.
Rei laughed again. “There’s water. Probably tea,” he said, belatedly listing, “Coffee, too — not that I’m recommendin’ you drink caffeine at night.”
Kaoru slid out of his shoes, setting them on a nearby rack. “I’m good. It’s not like I can move my hands when you’re painting my nails, anyway.”
“Alright, then. My room’s upstairs. You can go on ahead if you want, Hakaze-kun,” Rei nodded, making his way to the kitchen to retrieve drinks for himself and Kaoru, just in case he changed his mind.
“Sure thing,” Kaoru said, segueing into a half-hearted complaint as he climbed up the steps, “Ah, how happy I’d be if you were a girl instead.”
Rei emerged from the kitchen with a can of coffee and a water bottle. “You never do stop prattlin’ on about girls, do ya, Hakaze-kun.”
Kaoru laughed, even though it wasn’t so much a joke as it was a snide remark.
He sat on the floor of Rei’s room, setting his bag down beside him. The room was surprisingly normal, maybe even plainer than Kaoru expected — after all, Rei was admittedly rather eccentric, an eclectic mismatch of both ‘student council president’ and ‘resident delinquent’ of Yumenosaki.
“Here,” Rei tossed the water bottle at Kaoru. “I’m gonna get nail polish. Any color you want, Hakaze-kun?”
“I’ll leave that to you, Sakuma-san. I doubt you’d have anything weird like neon pink, anyway.”
“Bold assumption,” Rei popped open his can of coffee, “Well, whatever, fine by me.”
Kaoru stared at the drink in his hand. “Are you really drinking coffee at this time, Sakuma-san?”
Rei shrugged. “I wouldn’t have gone to sleep anytime soon, anyway,” he replied easily, not waiting for a response before leaving to pick out nail polish.
Kaoru decided to check his phone while waiting. Some girls left messages that he needed to reply to, so he quickly typed out his standard, honeyed responses.
Not long after, Rei came back with a bottle of burgundy lacquer, watching as Kaoru’s thumbs rapidly tapped at his phone screen. “You seem awfully good at usin’ technology, Hakaze-kun,” he commented, and Kaoru looked up at him with a shrug, setting his phone aside.
Honestly, Rei’s technological ineptitude was kind of funny to Kaoru, but he didn’t bother bringing it up.
Instead, Rei spoke again. “You ever paint your nails before?” He tied his hair up in a relaxed, indolent motion, seating himself across from Kaoru. “Gimme your hand, Hakaze-kun.”
He gently took Kaoru’s hand, hovering it over his thigh.
“Not really,” Kaoru answered. “My sister’s done them for me once or twice, though.”
Rei hummed, swiping a soaked cotton ball over his nails.
“You have nice nails.”
He gently ran a file and buffer across, brushing-up with a sweep of cuticle oil.
“Hm, yeah? I take care of my nails pretty well.”
A layer of clear base coat. A pause in between.
Kaoru watched Rei’s concentrated expression, observing his focused stare and the slight, subtle furrow of brows that would deepen every few seconds.
“You’re staring at me, aren’t ya,” Rei commented.
“Maybe,” Kaoru admitted. No point in denying it.
Rei gave an amused huff, glancing at him with a lazy smile. “What, like what you see, Hakaze-kun?”
“What?”
Before Kaoru could properly elaborate, however, Rei cut him off. “I’m just teasin’ you, Hakaze-kun,” he laughed, lips unfurling into an irritating grin as he flaunted his canines. “No need to get all worked up, pretty boy.”
Finished saying his piece, he didn’t bother to see if Kaoru had a response before moving on.
“...You’re so irritating, Sakuma-san.”
“That so?”
Painted fingers twisted open the bottle of burgundy lacquer.
A dot in the center, a stroke downward before striking up, and two swipes on the sides.
Three strokes total, the motions gracefully repeated for each nail.
“As expected, Sakuma-san is experienced even with this sort of thing.”
It was an off-handed comment — so casual that someone may have mistaken it for a compliment. Still, Rei looked up at him.
“And what’s that supposed to mean, Hakaze-kun?”
“Nothing really,” Kaoru smiled impassively.
“Hm.”
In truth, they both knew what Kaoru meant; it was one of the reasons why Rei was later crowned as one of the Five Eccentrics, one of the reasons why Kaoru regrets leaving Rei to stand alone at the top for so long, distantly addressing him as “Sakuma-san” — he excelled at everything, whether he put his mind to it or not, and that only furthered his downfall. But, important things only become important in retrospect, so it was disregarded.
Finished with the first layer of polish, Rei slowly angled Kaoru’s fingers upward, dragging his hand toward his mouth. With pursed lips, he blew lightly, breath ghosting over his fingertips.
Kaoru flinched at the ticklish sensation.
“Pretty,” Rei said, offering a slow, languid smile as contrastingly sharp eyes met Kaoru’s gaze. “The color suits you, Hakaze-kun.”
“...Thanks,” Kaoru looked away awkwardly. “I don’t really appreciate being complimented by guys, though?”
Rei gave a noncommittal hum. “Have to wait for the first layer to dry before applying the next one,” he said, tucking a piece of stray hair behind his ear. Impatiently, he tapped at Kaoru’s fingers, lithe fingertips thrumming along his hand, and with a bored expression, he leaned forward.
“Uh?”
Their faces were uncomfortably close. Kaoru noticed Rei’s eyes were an unnaturally striking shade of red — which was definitely not normal, but it wasn’t like Rei’s entire existence could be considered normal anyway.
“Haven’t you heard of personal space, Sakuma-san?” Kaoru leaned back with posed laughter, brows slightly furrowing as he pushed Rei away.
“Ah, careful. Wouldn’t want your nails getting messed up,” Rei cautioned as he caught Kaoru’s wrists, amusedly adding, “But does Hakaze-kun not like me? I’m kinda hurt. I thought we were pretty close?”
“As if, Sakuma-san,” Kaoru smiled plainly, “I mean, I’d much rather be spending my time with a cute girl right now, you know?”
Rei hummed. “That’s unfortunate, then. ‘Cause I was actually wantin’ to spend some time with Hakaze-kun.” Untying his hair, he let it fan out messily over his shoulders. Moving forward to brush noses, he continued, “So am I wrong to think Hakaze-kun actually enjoys this, then?”
He puffed a breath of warm air against Kaoru’s ear, smiling with self-satisfaction as he drew out a sharp breath.
“Sakuma-san,” Kaoru exhaled.
“Hm?” Rei’s teeth traced along the shell of Kaoru’s ear, teasingly tugging and biting down once he reached the lobe. “Ever think about gettin’ your ears pierced, Hakaze-kun?”
Kaoru bit back a moan, huffing with mild indignation, “Sakuma-san, really. You’re so —.” He didn’t bother finishing the thought.
Instead, after a moment of consideration, he draped his arms around Rei’s neck — fingers carefully posed and hands hovering to prevent his nails from indents and smudges — and captured Rei’s lips in an intense kiss. He seemed caught off-guard, a reaction Kaoru smugly took pride in.
“Not so arrogant now, are you, Sakuma-san?” Kaoru laughed airily, relishing the look of momentary surprise.
It was admittedly refreshing to see the famed Sakuma Rei fall off his high horse for once. The expression didn’t last for long, however, as Rei’s lips hazardously curled upward. He generously returned the passionate kiss, pointed teeth occasionally brushing against Kaoru’s lower lip in a teasing fashion.
“So you do like it,” he whispered against Kaoru’s mouth, each articulation stirring up minute, tingling vibrations, “Don’t mess up your nails, Hakaze-kun.”
Kaoru didn’t respond, only subtly raking his teeth over Rei’s bottom lip. He gave a wry smile as the slow drag of his teeth drew out a slight shudder from Rei, seeming to restrain a gasp.
Rei separated their lips, lowering himself to press a languorous trail of kisses down Kaoru’s neck. He continued to cascade downward until reaching Kaoru’s collarbone, where he pressed a soft — almost loving — kiss, contrasted by the follow-up of a sharp, piercing bite.
Kaoru tightened his arms around Rei, skin flaring up in a burning sensation. “You better not be leaving marks, Sakuma-san,” he chided, breath uneven.
“Ah,” Rei said simply, “Sorry, Hakaze-kun.” He offered a blatantly insincere, unapologetic smile.
Kaoru scoffed, re-angling his head to nip at the tip of Rei's ear. It was light — teasing, even — yet also a loose reminder to stay in-line; Rei couldn’t carelessly do whatever he wished, and Kaoru wanted to remind him of that.
In response, Rei let out a pleased hum — one that Kaoru noted to be mildly, irritatingly, condescending — and lifted himself to bring his face to the same level as Kaoru’s. As always, his gaze was sharp, intense, and startlingly unhuman, yet Kaoru wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of having some sort of godly status — at least, not at the moment.
Realistically, Kaoru had long-since acknowledged that he and Rei operated on different planes of existence; whereas Rei stood above everyone else, seated upon his marbled throne, Kaoru blended in with the others, properly playing his role of The Fool, the prodigal son. Within this private moment, hidden from the public eye, however, Kaoru allowed himself to masquerade with the gods, indulging himself in blasphemy.
On a fleeting whim, he captured Rei’s metallic ear piercing between his teeth. It was cold, a stark contrast to how heated he was feeling, and as he rolled it with his tongue, he welcomed the unique sensation it brought between his lips.
Teasingly, like a small act of revenge, he decided to tug on the piercing.
Rei gave a soft smile, one that Kaoru almost believed could be of fondness or affection. And when he then brought his hand to caress Kaoru’s face with such fragility, such compassion, Kaoru nearly leaned into it, almost fell for the temptation, yet immediately pulled himself away.
Rei’s expression was unreadable for a moment, but Kaoru ignored it.
To conceal his moment of weakness, he removed Rei’s hand and forwardly placed his own fingers on Rei’s face, fingertips dragging along his skin. Impulsive kisses, impassioned touches — Kaoru could allow himself to sink into these feelings; the thought of falling prey to Rei’s beguile under the guise of love, however, was one he didn’t want to consider.
If Rei noticed anything, he didn’t mention it — he didn’t need to — and like some sort of holy figure, some contemptible, compassionate god, he allowed Kaoru to selfishly do as he pleased.
Even when the bottle of nail polish was overturned and liquid came spilling forth, he said nothing.
Without regard for the nails that Rei had so meticulously painted, Kaoru found himself digging them into Rei’s skin, sinking them into his face, his neck, his chest. And graciously, Rei smiled wordlessly, as though he found Kaoru interesting, analyzing him like he could see through every paper-thin barrier; the thought left a slightly bitter, unsettling feeling.
He didn’t love Rei; he couldn’t love Rei — or anyone, for that matter. Because as much as he longed for affection, he was afraid of it, afraid of love. Love, dulce et amarum, so sweet, and yet so bitter — Kaoru only wanted its sweetness. He knew it was selfish, but he couldn’t allow himself to experience its bitterness; he couldn’t bear to pick up the fragile pieces of his heart.
Rei pulled him out of his thoughts, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. “What are you thinking about, Hakaze-kun?”
Kaoru glanced at Rei, retracting his nails. “Nothing.”
Truly, they weren’t close at all.
Sometimes, Kaoru wonders if, back then, they could’ve been friends if he hadn’t established so many barriers between them — or rather, he realizes that Rei had considered him a friend already, perhaps even more than that, yet he constantly pushed him away. Regardless, he’s only come to reflect on and regret these actions now, long after Rei fell from grace.
Somehow, subtly, the atmosphere changed, and Rei smiled.
“Well, I guess we should continue with the next layer, ‘else we’ll be up all night.” Picking up the bottle of polish, he nonchalantly cleaned up the mess and went back to painting Kaoru’s nails, dipping the brush back into the dark, plum-hued liquid. It was almost like their heated interactions had never occurred. As he held Kaoru’s hand, however, he paused. “Ah, it’s dented.”
Kaoru looked at his nails. Small, crescent-shaped dents; undeniable evidence that the now-neutral atmosphere was once one of intense passion.
“Don’t worry about it,” Rei said.
What he was referring to, he didn’t elaborate.
“If you just do this,” he continued, lightly smoothing it out, “and cover it with top coat, it’s like it was never there.”
Maybe Rei enabled Kaoru to constantly run away, to retreat like the wind, yet Kaoru knows he was primarily at fault for what happened; because maybe, if he had held onto Rei, refused to let him slip from his grasp, then Rei wouldn’t have fallen into such a state of disrepair.
“What are you thinking about, Kaoru-kun?”
He’s pulled out of his thoughts as he hears fingers drumming against the table. A hand comes up to Kaoru’s cheek, softly caressing him.
“Nothing really,” Kaoru smiles, leaning into the touch.
He’s met with a small frown.
“Kaoru-kun, you can talk to me if there is something on your mind—”
Kaoru nods. “I know,” he interrupts, “Cause we’re partners now.” He closes his eyes, taking a sip of coffee. It’s sweet. “Really, I wasn’t thinking about much. Just the past.”
When he feels a concerned gaze directed at him, he laughs and opens his eyes. “I’m fine,” he says, albeit with a slight bitterness — ‘but are you?’ is the unspoken phrase he wants to ask. The answer is always the same, though, and he puts his cup down.
“I’m fine now too, you know.”
Kaoru's lips turn downward.
“There’s no need to make that expression, Kaoru-kun. Truly, I am fine.”
“...I know,” Kaoru replies, though he knows it doesn’t sound convincing.
Really, he doesn’t know why he can’t bring himself to believe those words — whether it’s the manner of speech, the insistent tone, or his own guilt, he can never accept them.
But sometimes, he thinks that maybe it really is the truth — or maybe it’s just what he wants to be the truth — when their lips connect and fingers intertwine, when they push aside the past and make plans for the future.
He takes another sip of his coffee. It’s a little too sweet, he thinks, but he doesn’t want to try drinking black coffee just yet.