Chapter Text
“Bbang! Wake your ass up you overgrown piece of manflesh –“
The first thing that occurrs to Yongguk, as he struggles to see out of the tangle of blankets and the residue of sleep clouding his eyes, is that the voice screeching at him is not one he knows, even if the style of talking is very familiar. The second thing that occurs to him as his arms flail about, is that Kim Himchan is not on the bed beside him, and a weight that is slightly too heavy to be Tigger is trying to squeeze his kidneys out.
“Waaaake up! You need to help me murder Jung Daehyun – that monstrous, ill-mouthed –“
“-Ingenious-“ Yongguk supplies, blindly reaching for his wand since his eyes are still out of commission. The weight on top of him is raining weak but surprisingly painful hits down on his chest.
“-ingenious, vile – wait no, not ingen – whose side are you on?”
His usual reply of, you, of course babe, dies in his throat because his vision finally overcame the blur that is semi-consciousness and matched the weirdness of the situation to Himchan’s unusually high voice.
“How did he even manage this?” Himchan wails, small face crumpling into an expression pointing due tantrum. “He must have slipped me something at the club yesterday, or maybe he spiked those ricerolls Junhong brought over? What do you think?”
“I think,” Yongguk says slowly, because this kind of thing should not happen to a man ever, let alone at six in the morning, “that you should call me hyung.”
Himchan’s tiny fists gets two punches in before deciding to use a pillow to cover more surface.
Himchan is about six years old. Or rather, Himchan is twenty six years old stuck inside his own six-year-old body. The distinction is very important. Yongguk finds this out by receiving a large bruise on his thigh from a well thrown paper weight. All he did was ask if Himchan wants some candy.
The friendly prank war between Kim Himchan and Jung Daehyun is legendary in magical circles. In fact, because both men travel quite a bit for their high-profile jobs, the prank war between Kim Himchan and Jung Daehyun is legendary in the magical world.
There was the time Himchan jinxed all of Daehyun’s shoes to leave a path of earnestly growing grass and wild flowers wherever he tread, and somehow charmed the words THE PROPHET ASSBUTT WHO WALKITH UPON THIS LAND to appear in rather pretty fireworks over his head whenever he entered a new room. Daehyun retaliated by dosing Himchan’s favourite scarf with a powerful aphrodisiac for birds and Himchan ended up fending off insistent pigeons for weeks. Some time after that, Himchan charmed every surface in Daehyun’s apartment to moan suggestively when pressure is applied. Daehyun was then forced to stir up his retribution potion at Youngjae’s place. A week later, Himchan removed the charms in Daehyun’s apartment in exchange for the antidote to the potion which apparently made all food taste like anchovies. Once, Yongguk had to pluck growing feathers from Himchan’s back for two hours while Himchan explained in very colourful language why Jung Daehyun was a dead man. Another time Yongguk spent an hour unravelling one of Himchan’s more ingenious enchantments that left Daehyun speaking only in iambic pentameter in Russian. Yongguk learned that Russian was apparently a very good language to swear in, even in iambic pentameter.
To think it all started with that one embarrassing potion in sixth year.