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Alecto had been sitting on the couch in a nearly pitch dark room, barely able to read the letters from the pamphlet in his hand. It was only something he randomly picked up at the hallway on the way here. A faint light had been seeping from the massive windows lining the room’s wall. Beyond the clear glass, one could view the blue planet their Eden had become a moon of. This building had a good position; with Babylonia's orbit, one could see the earth almost all day from the estate grounds. It was made for luxurious leisure time with beautiful sights for the guest’s amusement.
Standing just by those windows was President Hassen. Actually, he had been standing there for a while. Alecto got tired midway waiting around, so he was already lounging on the couch and table. Maybe it was out of respect to the person they were planning to meet today, maybe it was just restlessness; but Hassen had been standing there since they entered the room. He could see the President’s hand on the window, hovering over the faraway image of the earth, as if there was something he could feel on his palm. The light from outside was dim, but it was still too bright for him to be able to see Hassen’s expression. So he got up from his seat, silently creeping to where Hassen stood.
Hassen seemed to notice him before Alecto could even see his reflection on the glass window. He turned just as Alecto wanted to call his name. There was a hint of lingering loneliness in the man’s eyes, something Alecto could only recognize from having seen Hassen’s face all day almost every day, but the President’s voice was still the same as ever.
“Looking at it like this, does it make you miss the ground?” He asked, moving slightly to give Alecto space to take in the exact view he had been watching.
Alecto quietly followed the lead, standing beside Hassen with his hands behind his back. His gaze scanned over the wide glass pane, and the blue planet staring back at him from afar, searching for whatever it was that caught the President’s eyes for so long. In the end, though, he still found nothing worthy of hours of Hassen's silent, solemn observation.
“I don’t yearn for things I don’t know, Sir,” he answered at last, heaving a helpless sigh.
“But you have been to earth.”
He nodded. Most of the dangerous missions were on earth, and Alecto’s unique position was established specifically to offset those dangers. When he had a task, he was almost always sent to earth. “Quite several times, yes.”
Of course Hassen already knew that anyway. He was the only one who had the authority to deploy Alecto anywhere. Wherever Alecto went, Hassen would know his every movement. The President looked away from him, weighing his words before putting his hand away from the glass, allowing Alecto to take a look at what exactly he was trying to grasp within his hands.
“Do you feel something for it?” Hassen asked again, this time turning to face Alecto, slightly expectant.
Alecto barely felt anything at all , let alone for something as abstractly massive as the earth. He didn’t have the confidence to meet Hassen’s expecting gaze, but he held up his hand, touching the mark of the President’s hand on the glass. “I notice that even after you leave for space, you are still pulled back into it.”
Hassen nodded, seemingly either agreeing or approving. “That’s what an attachment to a home is like.”
Hassen sounded calm, unchanging, but there was also a little somber hopelessness in the man's voice, like he had wished he could make Alecto understand. And simultaneously with it, there was an acceptance that this conversation held no substance in it; Alecto would not have understood his feelings, and he might never, no matter how much Hassen spoke of it. But he respected the commandant's willingness to listen to his rambling, and thus confided whatever was on his mind to Alecto.
Alecto indeed didn’t understand. He only told an anecdote he had heard from someone else, hoping it would satisfy Hassen. He had also heard the phrase of humans being pulled in by the gravity called love. Love for their heritage, for a home? Alecto was a child born in Eden, he had never had his roots on the ground. Despite growing up hearing tales of earth, Alecto had never felt any affection for it. Every now and then, he felt slightly disappointed for being incapable of understanding Hassen better. Yet, he knew the President didn't want any faux consolation from him, so Alecto spoke his honest thoughts still.
“Prez, the home of my ancestors is none of my business. I don’t have the same attachment to it.” The only times he was on earth, there was nothing pleasant about it. It would be war, battles, casualties, the feeling of stepping in a pool of blood and the unmistakable heavy air of corpses. There was nothing for Alecto to miss from earth.
At least in Babylonia, there was his home, his brother, his friend, and the President. On earth, there wasn’t Akos who would let Alecto hang himself around his shoulders, whining about whatever displeased his heart for the week. On earth, there wasn’t Alexei who would come visit his office, hand in each other’s hands, with silent understanding of each other being used only for mischief. On earth, there wasn’t the President’s slightly cold bed, with the warmth in his sleep being only from Hassen’s arms wrapping around him.
The people’s yearning for earth was a bundle of foreignness to him, but perhaps there was a little something within that bundle for him to connect with. He turned to finally meet Hassen’s gaze that had been sitting on him for a while. “But I can still say I understand the feelings behind it.”
He could feel the frown on Hassen’s face even without seeing it. In the end, the President bit down on Alecto’s words. “How so?”
Alecto took his hand off the glass and instead held it out toward Hassen, stopping just before his fingertips touched the man’s chest. Various thoughts ran through his head first before he spoke, violent and wild in its nature. “Sir, If I’m ever taken away from your side….”
If something ever happened to uproot him from his post by Hassen's side, Alecto knew the magnanimity of grudge and hatred he would hold the most. He would flip the earth and sky upside down just to get back to Hassen. And he would tear up this Eden for whoever was responsible for taking this life away from him.
Thinking of it this way, he could understand the President's determination, along with many others in Babylonia. A struggle to return home? He wouldn’t be so bold as to say Hassen was his home, but he understood the attachment either way. His hateful fantasies had run down to his hands, fingers restraining to stretch out, like there was something he wanted to take out from behind Hassen's ribcage, and then keep for himself.
He felt a cold mass lodged in his throat, spreading deeper into his chest and taking frozen root in his heart. Alecto didn't know what kind of look he had on his face, but Hassen took his hand in his palm, gathering whatever lively imaginations Alecto might have had into the calloused touch on his hand.
He could feel Hassen pressing his hand into his chest. There was a tender feeling from where he contacted the President's clothes, the heat of beating heart and rushing blood. Nothing like a physical sensation, seeing that Alecto's hand was incapable of sensing such a thing. It was the warmth that came from acknowledgement, the theoretical knowledge of man's anatomy combined with the poetic musings of old times he had read a long time ago. Hassen was a warmth he didn't know much about in this floating pile of metal and scraps. The high sky is cold; even someone who had no attachment to the warmth of earth could admit how cold the extra-terrestrial space of Babylonia was. Alecto didn't try to explain anymore, merely shaking his head towards Hassen. He squeezed the President's hand in his, rubbing titanium knuckles on the man's rough hand.
“Personally, I have yet to see value in the war we are fighting.” Alecto then let his grip loose, turning to look toward the man beside him. “But I know you do. So what I don’t see doesn’t matter.”
It wasn’t his place to question Hassen. Whatever the President asked of him, he would get it done. He couldn’t possibly see the things Hassen saw, but he could still follow behind the man’s footsteps. Surely there were more things Hassen would rather him be, a more chivalrous person, a more attentive person, a better person. But this was the extent of his capability; the limit of his loyalty.
Hassen was silent for a moment, his gaze cast to the image of earth in the faraway distance instead of Alecto. There was something in the way Hassen was avoiding to face him; a difficult emotion he wasn’t sure how to describe was reflected in the man’s eyes.
“... I hope you’ll find that value some day," he finally said, resigning whatever thoughts were in his head.
Alecto only laughed, letting go of Hassen’s hand in favor of holding the window before them. Between the outline of his fingers on the glass, he could see the silhouette of earth; a part of the President’s calling, the finish line Alecto chased simply because Hassen did. Once his amusement receded, he was still looking out into the vast view before him.
“If I do that, I might not have the space in my hands to hold your burdens, Sir. You’ll get lonely.”
Hassen seemed to be disapproving of something in his words, but only placed a hand on Alecto’s back. A chaste, friendly touch that had a sense of protectiveness on his fingers. The President’s voice was still calm, but Alecto could tell the trace of concern with it. “Isn’t it difficult to keep fighting without a conviction of purpose?”
Alecto leaned closer to the touch. Was it difficult? He had heard of soldiers losing grip of their purpose, defeated by the relentless fighting that never seemed to bear victory. War eroded most of people’s convictions and beliefs; not to mention one as cruel and hopeless as the one they were fighting. The things Alecto witnessed during his day to day work would be enough to make a normal person resign from the military.
And yet…
“Of course not.” It wasn’t difficult at all. At least, not for him. He leaned closer towards Hassen, slightly nudging his head on the President’s shoulder. “Because I’m filling them with you.”
He could feel a hitched breath from Hassen’s chest, but the President collected himself before Alecto could catch any changes from his expression. Alecto had never had a purpose in his life. He was born well in Eden. He grew up normally, went to school normally. He entered Kurono in hope to live without having to think what he wanted to do for himself. He transferred under the world government in a whimsical interest in President Hassen. Who would have thought that interest would keep growing into something more? Alecto wanted to stay here. He would fight to stay here, by the President’s side.
“You can entrust anything to me, Sir,” Alecto said in a low voice. “Not just your sins. I want to know your dreams, your secrets, your ambitions.”
He held out toward Hassen’s face, leaving a hesitant, fluttering touch on the man’s jaw. The hands that he had dirtied numerous times, so much that a normal person wouldn’t be able to wash away the trace of blood from between his fingers. People would make a point to not touch him, avoiding his hands while whispering names behind his back. And those who did touch him, usually in the form of fists and a hateful hold around his neck. Alecto didn’t really mind.
He could feel the President’s hand on his, holding his hand within his calloused palm. It wasn’t important what other people thought of him, because Alecto didn’t once think of them either. What mattered to him was the very person who poured blood onto his hands, the one who placed the blade in his hand to play executioner with. What mattered was that the person who imposed all those cruelty on his shoulders, never once hesitated to take Alecto’s hand in his.
Hassen never abandoned him.
“Just say what you wish, and I am yours.” Alecto held the President's hand firm, pressing them on his cheek in turn. There was a short silence when Hassen's hand reciprocated, cupping his face in its palm. “I’m stronger than you think, Sir. I can take it.”
He could feel the warmth from the President's hand pressed against his cold skin. Looking up to meet the man's gaze, Hassen was staring at him with a helpless frown on his face. After a minute of heavy silence, he could hear Hassen sighed as he pulled Alecto into an embrace, holding the younger man against his shoulder. “... You are still weaker than you think you are, Alecto.”
Alecto only laughed, wrapping his arms close around the man's neck. He laid his head down on the man's shoulder, feeling Hassen's every heartbeat on his skin. “Maybe.”
Was he weak? Alecto, former captain of a Kurono task force, the President's hound–although spoiled as he was. The feared and fearless commandant of Babylonia, the one with death dripping from his fingertips that not even his comrades were willing to touch him. Alecto obviously wasn't as strong as their combatant constructs, but he was far away from weak. His physical strength could put the frontline soldiers to shame, both his mental fortitude and M.I.N.D. resistance was top-class to the point of being terrifying. The weakness Hassen spoke of was something he didn't understand.
He pulled back from Hassen's arms, slightly looking up to meet the President's somber eyes. His hands behind Hassen's neck were entangling on the man's hair.
Hassen was always looking toward him with emotions that he didn't recognize, something that was only a step away from pity, but not too far from pride and greed either. Alecto wasn't familiar with such a gaze, and the recognition of the unknown made him a little restless from time to time; wondering if Hassen was judging something in him he wasn't aware about. But it also brought him excitement, seeing the same look on Hassen's face every time he gave orders to deploy Alecto, every time Alecto returned injured, or every time they heard people cursing the commandant's name. He enjoyed the difficult look on his Sire's face on those occasions. Was that the President's weakness as well?
Alecto wondered, at times, what kind of weakness Hassen was seeing within him. What kind of flaws he needed to correct, and what kind of blemish he needed to temper. But Hassen never said anything more than what his gaze could tell Alecto. So he accepted that whatever it was Hassen disapproved of, the man didn't deem it necessary to fix. The silence and lack of consequences told Alecto: He was fine this way .
Alecto laughed again, wondering since when had he become someone who thought so much about what another person felt about him. He trailed his hand across Hassen's face, his thumb tugging ever so slightly on the man's eye patch. He could feel the President's breath on his hand, and the slight frown while he seemed to restrain from pulling away from Alecto's touch. The commandant’s hand stopped before it could pull the cloth away from the man's eye.
He was nuzzling against Hassen's face, lips a mere breath apart from the man's skin. “Even a weakling wants to see… What value this world has in your eyes.”
Hassen held him by the wrist, pulling Alecto's hand away with enough gentleness to not offend the commandant. He set the hand aside, answering with a firm voice, nearly scolding to Alecto's ears. "You'll eventually come to see it."
Alecto was grinning, amused. What a gentle rejection, it really fit the Hassen he knew. “Well, it’s about time for the meeting.”
He was still lingering close to Hassen, however, face leaning towards the man's face. Waiting together with the President for so long made him just a little hungry. He held a hand on the man's chest, still slightly hopeful the President was feeling indulgent enough to spoil his whims today. “How about encouraging me a little, Sir Hassen?”
The President seemed to be weighing his options, but eventually yielded, taking the commandant's face in his hand. Alecto leaned into the touch, closing his eyes expectantly… before the sound of the building's outer door swinging open resonated in the empty room.
Hassen immediately let go of him before they could even hear the footsteps coming closer, leaving Alecto with the slightly cold air in the room while he returned his gaze toward the view beyond the window. There was a deep frown on Hassen's face, and he could hear the apologetic tinge in his voice, despite the man going on talking business.
"... I will leave it to you."
Alecto felt a pat on his back, the President's hand feeling the outline of a gun holster hidden under the commandant's coat. What a cruel old man. Obviously, he was ready for anything that might happen while the meeting would be underway, and he was not petty enough to let personal feelings affect his professional quality, but he was still a little upset. The smile on his face was bland, clearly uninterested in acting friendly after being interrupted in such a crucial moment. He could feel Hassen's concerned frown while looking at that irate smile. Ignoring the people that entered the room, Alecto slightly bowed towards Hassen, and walked himself to the door.
"Of course, President. Please have a good talk."