Archive of Our Own ^beta

Ending the evening that was only getting darker, Kel waited outside his friend's house for the boy to come out. Kel leaned heavily against the front door, stamping his foot impatiently.

Sunny couldn't take any longer, really. What was he doing, anyway?

Just over ten minutes ago, he'd told Kel to wait outside while he went in to get something. For some reason, Sunny hadn't asked Kel to come inside with him, which was weird but not necessarily bad, so Kel didn't say much about it.

But it wasn't the long wait that kept Kel on edge for the last few moments, or the fact that he had to wait outside. There was something else that had been going on with Sunny.

Something just kept gnawing at the nerves in his head. Kel never really got bothered about anything, so why did his mind decide to nag him with this?

It happened before, at school. Sunny, Kel, and Aubrey were there (Basil hadn't been to school today), walking down the school hallway. At some point, someone brazenly walked past Sunny, shoving his shoulder. It was the usual rudeness or rather carelessness you'd expect when walking down a crowded hallway, and there seemed to be no real malice behind the act. It wasn't the first or the last time it would happen to any of the three of them.

So why, when Kel turned around and noticed that Sunny was no longer moving, did he find him with such a terrified expression?

Just for a moment. But still. He didn't move until Kel called out to him.

The real reason it bothered Kel so much was that this wasn't an isolated case, but something common in the last two weeks. Sunny acting strange, distraught, scared, stiff at random things, nervous all the time.

It all seemed to start right after... that. Which only made Kel feel weirder about it.

Kel heard the door click as it swung open, revealing that dark mop of hair.

"Wow!" Kel sneered. "That took you so long, I didn't even think you'd come out..." he shook his head with his arms crossed in a dramatic motion. 

Sunny shot him a blank look, nodding listlessly. He had replaced his school bag with a lightweight black shoulder one, and changed into a black tee and shorts, as opposed to the blue vest and white shirt from before.

Kel raised an eyebrow. "Got everything you need?"

Sunny hummed for a moment, then nodded, patting his bag. "... Ready to go?"

"Sure!"

Sunny closed the door behind him and the pair stepped into the sidewalk.

"So... What did you get?" Kel inquired.

Sunny whirled his head to Kel. "Oh, it's... the twentieth issue of Spaceboy's Adventures." Kel had to stop his mouth from making a face. "Still haven't read it."

Kel swallowed hard, suddenly feeling sweat rise up his neck. 

"Oh...! You wanted to read the whole thing in one sitting, right? It was kinda short compared to the ones before this one... s-so it shouldn't take you long..." he parroted. "Gee, I definitely hope the 21st will be more fun. This one was kind of a bummer...a-ah, well, you'll find out yourself. Err, he-he." he assured, weakly.

Sunny sighed. "Let's just get going..."

The rest of the walk passed quickly. Kel chewed on Sunny's ear for a while, as usual and as a result of needing to fill the air with anything, just to avoid the discomfort that surrounded Sunny lately.

The warm afternoon was setting with the farewell of the Sun until the next day. When they reached Hobbez, the twilight of the night finally reached Faraway Town.

Sunny entered the store first, bag in hand, followed by Kel. The two went straight to the counter.

"Hi, sir!" Kel squeaked.

The cashier smiled down at them. "Hello there, kids! What are you looking for today?" 

"Um, well... we were hoping to get the latest issue of captain Spaceboy," a pause. "Is it here already?"

"Captain Spaceboy!" the man hollered with a laugh. "I see you have good taste." he playfully winked at them. "Let me see..."

The man clicked something on the computer before looking back at them. "The last one? That would be... the twentieth?"

Kel and Sunny looked at each other, both instantly surprised.

"H-How's that?" Kel stuttered. "Isn't that the 21st?"

"No, no.., only the twentieth." The man hummed. "If I'm correct..., the series is just getting started on a hiatus, actually!"

Kel blanched. "W-what? A hiatus?! Crap! That can't be, the last one ended on such a major cliffhanger! It was crazy- with the space boy's comrade held captive, and spaceboy had the ultimate-ultimatum to choose between saving him or the world, and- and you are saying we don't get the answer for who knows how long?!" he cried out.

"A-ahh... well, I'm sorry to hear that. Like I said, that's all I know... maybe try coming next week?" The man gave something like a smile, appearing with an awkward laugh.

"Sure..." Kel sighed, disappointed. "Well, come on Sunny," he looks at Sunny realizing, now embarrassed. "Oh, shoot! I didn't mean to spoil it...."

Sunny just exhaled and headed for the door. "...s'okay."

It  didn't feel okay. "W-well, it still has some great parts that I haven't told you about!" he stuttered around. "Like... I mean, you can still read it, I'm saying..." Kel trailed off.

Sunny mumbled something about it not really mattering that much, grabbed his bag, and headed out the door. Kel continued afterwards.

The 20th issue of the spaceboy's comics had started selling at Hobbez on a Friday, exactly two weeks ago. 

That night, Sunny didn't go buy it with Kel like they always do. The friday two weeks ago Sunny had almost drowned in the lake. So his day had been naturally taken up with a visit to the hospital and the rest of the day was called off.

Nobody else really cared about those comics, (Kel was sure Aubrey didn't hate it as much as she claimed, having watched her throw a few longing glances at his collection from time to time, but it wasn't like she was going to admit it any time soon), or maybe the two of them were very openly obsessed with the comics. 

In any case, reading The Adventures of Space Boy had become something they did together. Sunny and Kel would get the issue the same day it came out and read it together that same night. And it always left a feeling of excitement in Kel for the next time they'd do it again, two weeks later. The Friday Sunny couldn't go, Kel did go, ending up buying one for himself and Sunny as well.

He really, really tried not to read it by himself, but Kel really couldn't help it, and he finally gave up. Karma has its funny ways of working, because it felt even worse when issue 20 ended up being a bit boring and bad, with a rushed and overly cliffhanger ending. It wasn't even worth not reading it with Sunny, and the guilt he gained from it.

And now, knowing that Sunny hadn't even read it yet, only made him feel worse.

"... I'll just read it when the next one comes out." Sunny said, feeling like an untold thought that had slipped off his lips somehow.

Kel tried to say something else, but his mind failed him for words. Sunny didn't seem that eager to fill the silence, either. 

The sky outside was quite dark now, a stark contrast to the bright white lights of Hobbezz. They walked on for a while longer. 

Suddenly, the words were out of Kel's mouth before he could stop himself.

"Why not-" he caught his tongue. "I mean..." Sunny turned his gaze to him, and Kel felt panic heat his hands.

Kel dared to look back. Streetlights illuminated Sunny's face, marking his unsuitable pallor.

A deep-seated feeling had settled in Kel for a long time, that even he wasn't sure where it had come from, telling him that Sunny was someone who might disappear one day, undermined by anything. Sunny was noticeably taller than Kel. But his frame looked emaciated at times like this, when it seemed like he was trying to make himself smaller, imperceptible so the world wouldn't see him, so dedicated to shedding blood for a cause against his very own existence. Sunny did a good job at it, too, staying silent most of the time and keeping his head in the clouds, like something that wasn't here, not by Kel's side. And it didn't do much against Kel's gut feeling that his time with Sunny was bound to end easily, destined to become a fading memory. Sunny led the way to his own paranthelion, hurtling over the horizon with white bright lights, and claiming its place as an out-of-this-world event, destined and desiring to end at some point, as Kel would stay there to see it all.

"I just- I guess I was wondering." Kel really really didn't want to say it. "Why... that day, when you fell—why didn't you... get out?"

Sunny's eye's largened slightly. Kel was stupid, stupid, stupid to say those words out loud. Is there even an answer?

"I don't... Sorry." Kel settled with, quickly darting his gaze to somewhere else.

If he tried, he could remember it perfectly. After Sunny fell off that statue, nothing came out for a whole minute.

The first one to move was Mari, of course, fast minded and action driven as always. Some struggle later, she pulled him out of the lake. By then Sunny, unconscious, woke up.

Sunny did know how to swim long before that, and the height he fell wasn't too high, was it now? But who was Kel to determine that? He had a hunch he was right about it, though.

Sunny didn't say anything for a few moments. Finally, he started.

"I'm not sure." Sunny confessed in a quiet voice. He started fiddling with his fingers. Sunny looked down, something dubious in the way he looked at his hands.

"... It's okay, I don't know why I asked." he murmured, not pressing any further. "You've been acting weird, that's all... I thought maybe it had to do with, um, that..." he excused himself. "U-uhm, but, it's... whatever." his voice trailed off.

"I'm, fine." Sunny said dryly, looking directly at Kel, then back to the sidewalk. "If- if that's what you're asking."

That didn't seem to be the case. Instead of saying anything, Kel clumsily gave him a smile. They arrived shortly after to their homes.

Kel stared quietly as Sunny entered his house.

... Hopefully, the 21st issue would come out soon.

***

Issue number 21 never came. Or rather, he didn't buy it. Because when it came out, a year and a half later for some ungodly reason, Sunny wouldn't have left his house for a while and what was the point of reading that stupid comic when the whole world was ending. 

He would eventually pick up the series again, but it would take some time.

***

Few things unsettle Kel more than the sight of blood. He's not deathly afraid of it, the way his brother is of spiders. Overall, it's not a pretty sight. Something uneasy churns in his stomach every time he scrapes his knees, or gets a cut. And blood comes out. 

It's worse if it's someone else's. 

Like when he was 14, for example: Cris, his friend who he very much appreciates, had gotten a really nasty knee wound as she fell over the concrete ground during PE. 

Kel was the first to notice it, being her partner in whatever activity they were doing and all. His first reaction was an uneasy gut struggle, and all he wanted to do was just look away and go away.

Of course, he didn't do that. He's not a bad friend. Kel had asked if she was okay, granted it was in an awkward manner. She nodded and asked him to help her up.

Her entire lower leg was covered in blood.

He wasn't such a good friend after all when his arms suddenly went weak and he just let her drop. That earned him a scowl on her face and a moutful of insults snarled at him. A thousand apologies and a gifted popsicle later, she eased up on him. Cris doesn't joke around when she gets angry. 

Kel noticed, a couple weeks later, that it had left a small scar behind, which healed considerably quickly, and nowadays, it's barely visible.

It also left a stain on the basketball court's ground. Over time, the rain just washed it away.

The conclusion of all of this is that Kel has seen a normal amount of blood during his lifetime. They always came from things that could heal. Even during that terrifying night at Basil's house, when he once again stood watching as another person bled. Everyone made it out alive, even if for several hours he wasn't sure of it.

But blood had never been like this. Never accompanied by a dead heart. By spilled guts, by broken limbs, by a dead friend. 

Is Sunny even his friend anymore? After all, four years have passed. Still, he'd like to think this is the case.

"Stop, hey, stop!"

Why did he even open the door for Kel if they aren't friends anymore? Sure, he hadn't opened it all the other times. But Sunny did open the door, in the end. However…

"Don't look! Don't, Kel-" the voice is interrupted by coughing.

What is he then? A friend? An acquaintance never seen? A long-forgotten crush?

A hand grabs his arm and pulls him away from the crowd.

"Kel!" his brother shouts.

"W...what...him?" Kel mumbles like an idiot. His mouth twitches. "He—it's..."

"Hey, hey—let's just, let's just go inside, okay? We don't have to see this."

Hero's voice sounds frantic, like he's trying to coax a lost puppy into his house. As if they are in the middle of the road and a truck cold come at any moment, so it's very important to hurry up.

There's blood spilled over the road. There's a lot of blood.

Realization comes in the form of a painful snap to his head. Kel raises his head and he looks at Hero.

"That's him? Is that… Is it him?!" he blurts out. "Is that really him?"

Hero's eyes are dark and wide and they look like they are going to pop out of his face. He's stammering, trying to get a sentence out.

"P-please Kel, let's go inside. It's… it's bad, oh… this is so wrong. Kel, please."

Blood comes from pain. It's red, hot and messy. It always leaves stains for a while, no matter how hard you scrub. But eventually, the rain always washes it away.

"Wh...why this...why, how—how could this happen?"

He tries to remember the last time he had seen Sunny. He was in his room, resting. It was a pale sight, the hospital, his blanch face, the bandages around his face, his head. He had been like this for a whole day, and now it was morning again. But this morning he wasn't there.

"It's not true, is it?"

Shouldn't things be the same? The next morning, things are always the same. 

Aubrey never says a word to him. They only converse through deadly glares. Basil can't bring himself to even look at Kel in the eye, and maybe Kel can't do it, either. Hero is in college. Sunny never answers.

Mornings are always the same. Kel hates it sometimes, drilling his eyes into the ceiling of his room as he hoped and hoped and wished things would change already. 

Hero tried to speak, but only a strangled sound comes out of his throat.

Kel breaks free of Hero's loose grip and pushes his way through the crowd. He hates blood and he hates spilled guts and he hates dead friends but he has to see it. He has to see it. The horrifying and graphic display of Sunny's body strewn across the concrete.

He looks away reflectively. It's him, then? He's beyond recognition—but it's indisputably him. 

The familiar mop of black hair that adorn a split head and spilled brains and the way the legs are... and the nurses, and the empty room- it's him, isn't it? 

He wasn't in his room this morning.

Hero pulls him back again, but this time Kel doesn't bother to fight him off.

***

"You know! I know you know why this happened! Tell me!"

A hurt girl in the center of the room, with pale pink hair down to her waist. Aubrey still wears that white and yellow jacket she has for the past four days. The sleeves are partially torn, giving it a more vintage look but still mantaining style and personality.  

She just keeps and keeps shaking the other very hurt and wounded boy in his hospital bed. Her grip is strong around his shoulders, and Kel would feel more than half-bad for Basil if it wasn't for the way his expression, which is nothing at all, only seems to fuel Aubrey's unceasing yelling. 

Basil doesn't even seem to be there at all: it happened shortly after Hero broke the news to him.

(Hero had told Kel it was not yet the best time to tell Basil what had happened, considering his fragile state. But Aubrey had insisted, threatening to do it herself in a much less careful way.

So he didn't get much of a choice).

After that, Basil babbled a bunch of nonsense words and prayed to them that it was all a joke (as if they would ever joke about something like that, of course, but it must be, right?) before simply sinking into himself, withdrawing in front of the three from the conversation. Aubrey then broke her promise to keep her cool and exploded on him.

Aubrey isn't stopping. "You—you two fought that night! At least, at least tell us why? Why did you hurt him like that? There's something wrong with you—you're sick!" she hiccups. "Is that... the reason he'd just...?!"

Kel watches dumbfounded, unable to come between them. He should, but nothing within him can muster the strength to do it. Hero can manage, Kel thinks—

"Aubrey, stop!" Hero puts a hand on her shoulder.

Aubrey jerks his hand away from her. "Get the fuck off me!"

—even if his pitiful attempts so far hadn't made the aggrieved Aubrey stop.

At some point, something shifts in Basil's expression. He looks straight into Aubrey's eyes. That makes her stop.

The inner corners of Basil's eyebrows twitch, and his mouth becomes a flat line. His eyes start carefully searching the room for something. Kel frowns. What is he seeing?

Tears start to roll down Basil's cheeks, and he starts heaving. Hesitant, Aubrey lets him go. She wipes her eyes, the action not doing much to sto pthe sobs that tear from her throat.

"I'm so sorry." Basil exclaims between gasps. "I killed you. I'm sorry, Sunny. Please forgive me."

***

Some nurses rush in and they are hushed outside the room. With tears in her eyes, Aubrey is the first to rush out.

Hero and Kel rest on the tiny chairs in the hospital's waiting hall. Hero's head is in his hands. Kel feels utterly lost.

His brother stares up at the ceiling, running a hand over his face.

"Oh god. What are we going to do now? I have no idea" he says, half-aloud. "I have no idea."

***

The day was hot. It's fall now, but summer is acting like a petulant child and still clinging onto its sultry days, blazing through any kind of forecast.

They had been in Kel's room. Sunny sat on the plush rug, propped up against Kel's bed. He's playing with his GameBoy. He carried that thing with him always. 

Kel is lying on his stomach onto the bed, flipping through a boring comic book he had just started reading to fill the void for The Adventures of Captain Spaceboy, occasionally stealing a glance at whatever game Sunny was playing. 

"I didn't even want to try." that day, out of the blue, Sunny had said. 

"Hm?" Kel hums, thoughtless. 

After a couple seconds, he lifts his head, looks at Sunny, and adds.

"What do you mean?"

Sunny's eyes remain fixed on the Game Boy's tiny screen.

"I didn't want to… get out of the water. If I stayed still…" he pauses. "I was too scared to move, I thought it was better to wait. Someone would get me, or something."

"…Huh." Kel murmurs. He's not sure what to say. "But… Mari helped you, so it worked out, right?"

"…I guess."

"But… you probably shouldn't do that. You should at least try. What if no one was there?" 

"Hmm..." Sunny considers Kel's words.

Sunny's thumbs slide over the Game Boy, before he finally halts.

The corners of the dream begin to blur, turning into a smoky haze. Before it's all over, Sunny's words echo in his mind.

"Funny. Mari said the same thing."

***

They are in the kitchen. The smell of overcooked bacon still hangs in the air. Aubrey had visited them today, a week later.

Kel has the impression a lot is going on in her mind. She says she wanted to discuss Basil's situation with Hero and Kel, but the conversation quickly derails into something else.

"Do you… do you guys think we could've known he'd… do it?" Aubrey asks. "Is it our fault?" 

"Aubrey..." Hero breathes in.

She raises her hand to stop him. "No, hold on, 'cause I was thinking… I think it is our fault. You know how he was… he's always been quiet, but the last few days we were with him… He barely said a word. Actually, did he speak at all?"

Neither brother answers. Aubrey stands up, hands on the table. "I think we could have seen it. Why didn't any of us do anything? Are we really so useless?"

"Don't say that, Aubrey ...!" Kel exclaims. He can't even look Aubrey in the eye. "It's... It's not like that."

"I mean, he was Mari's brother, after all." Aubrey lets out a hollow laugh. "Maybe it runs in the family, who knows—"

Hero slams his fist on the table, startling both Aubrey and Kel.

"Aubrey, stop it!"

Aubrey looks at Hero like a deer in headlights. A minute passes in silence. 

Shyly, she looks down at her hands. 

"I'm sorry, Hero. I didn't... I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. It's just..." Hero sighs. He taps his fingers. "I've... I spent so long blaming myself for Mari. I still do. I don't want you to feel that way about Sunny." 

A few seconds pass. Kel opens his mouth to say something, but Hero speaks again.

"And - and yet..." Hero hesitates. "I miss Mari every day. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her..." a choked sound comes from his throat. "But I never thought I'd feel this... this relief that she's dead." Hero avoids Kel's and Aubrey's astonished looks. "I'm so relieved...that she's not here to see the mess we're in."

An awkward silence thickens the air. No one can say a word. At some point, Hero gets up and leaves. 

"S-sorry, I should go. I have to start packing."

His gaze lingers on Kel.

“I didn't mean to...” he begins, interrupting himself. “I'm sorry.”

***

It's the next day. Kel stands in the bedroom doorway with his arms crossed. He watches Hero move around in hisroom. 

“So you're just going to leave, like that?” 

Hero blinks.

“Yeah, I'm going, Kel.”

Hero sits on his bed and folds his clothes. He pauses for a moment and looks Kel straight in the eye. 

“Summer vacation's almost over, you know?” he says firmly.

“They don't end for another three weeks!” Kel's tone becomes sharp. “You - you know that's not why...”

"College is more complicated than you think, Kel. I need to start preparing for the semester."

"Just admit it. You don't want anything to do with it." Kel glances to the side. His throat feels like it's constricting.

Hero lets out a loud sigh. Annoyed. “What do you want to hear from me, Kel?” He closes his eyes and takes a breath to calm himself. "You know you'll always have me, okay? I'll always be there for you. But right now... I need this, okay?" 

What frustrated Kel the most in recent years was how distant his brother had become after Mari's death. Even four years later, his words are never really honest, like there's a wall between the two of them. Perhaps it stands between Hero and the rest of the world, too. And Kel can never tear it down; no, it is founded on the death of love and hope. How could anyone try to overcome it without dying?

And so Hero will never say anything that corresponds to his thoughts.

What can Kel do about it? Just accept it for what it is? It's not even a choice; Hero's weary face says it all. It's set in stone that he will go.

Kel isn't even sure what he wants from Hero. Maybe part of him bitterly thinks Hero owes him something for all the time Kel has put up with him, back when Mari died. For at least trying to help Hero, even if Hero could be so mean back then. But Kel knows that's not a fair feeling. 

In the end, all Kel knows is that nothing feels right. The passing days are grim, the things he thought were true in his pathetic life were violently torn to the core by the mere act of one person. And how could he, his brother, the person he trusts the most, leave at the worst possible time? When the world is ending again. 

No, that's not true. Kel is lying to himself, even after all this time. The fabric of their relationship was torn apart a long time ago. Maybe one day Hero was the person he trusted most in the whole world. Kel used to trust him with everything. But for a long time, Kel had been alone.

"You need this?" Kel spits out. "OK! Fine, go. Leave, I don't care. But don't you lie to me."

Hero's smile drops. "God, Kel, waht do you want me to do? I'm not good at this things. I can't do anything…"

"I'm not asking you for anything! I dont want you to do anything…! I'm just saying… we, we should be there for each other." 

"How could I be there for anyone? I can't do anything for anyone. We've proven that already. I can't… save anyone. I couldn't, not before… not now. I'm sorry." he laments.

Kel falls silent. He knows he should be more understanding with his brother. 

He thinks for a moment if he should even add anything else. But in the end, he decides to leave Hero alone. They don't share many words for the rest of the day, and Kel doesn't get up to see Hero off the next day.  

***

"Kel." 

Aubrey approached him, one day, and firmly said.

"We're going to visit Basil."

"H-huh?"

Her piercing cyan eyes sized him, almost in disdain. 

"You heard me. Do you have anything else to do? Are you going to sit here all day in this lousy park, or what?"

She was wearing a dark velvet demin jacket with flashy pink pockets, and her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail. 

Kel was shocked to see her. They hadn't met since that day at his house.

"...Wait, how did you know I was here?"

"I was going to go find you and Hero in your house, but I saw you here first..." Aubrey rocked back and forth on her feet, looking over her shoulder. 

"That... is he still around?"

"No... he left the other day."

"Oh..." Aubrey nodded. "Well, then it's you and me. C'mon, visitation hours begin soon." she reached forwards and pulled his arm to get him up.

"W-wait!" Kel stopped her. 

What was she saying? Go to visit Basil...? Kel hadn't given it a thought. Well, he had, but he hadn't really reached any conclusion. Could he even face him after everything?

"W-what?" Aubrey searched for something in his eyes, hesitant. "You don't... want to come?" 

There was something brittle in her voice, sheltered in roughness of her own making. Had it been like this all along?

"I..."

Those times, Kel thought, he should have tried to understand Aubrey better. 

"No, it's... I don't have money for the bus fare on me... and I should... probably dress better." Kel pointed to his baggy trousers and sweaty shirt. Aubrey bit her cheek, finally letting go of his arm.

Kel put on a smile on his face. "Can we stop by my house first?"

The morning passed by quickly as Kel got ready to leave with Aubrey. She had told him to go back to his house and take a shower for once,

"Seriously, when was the last time you showered? You stink! A lot..."

— and let her know when he was ready. They even exchanged numbers... which still left him a little dumbfounded. But things were different with Aubrey than they were just a few weeks ago. Even if the events that unfolded were horrible, something good could come of it... maybe. It gave Kel some hope in the midst of the turmoil of his awful emotions.

Kel didn't put on anything fancy, just clean clothes for once and a simple jacket. He approached his mother to tell her he was going out.

"Ah, qué bien mijo... " she sighed. "You've been too still these days... It's a good thing. Where are you going?"

Kel didn't want to tell her the truth. Honestly, he wasn't sure how his mother would react. They hadn't really talked about, well, everything, so Kel didn't know (and didn't want to know) her opinion on the situation. Instead, Kel made up a lie about going out to play basketball with his school friends, keeping his tone vague.

 "I won't be back for lunch, that's all"

Keeping it simple, he texted Aubrey to notify her he was ready, and headed to the bus stop. When he got there, she was already in site.

She had changed her hair, letting it down and putting on the same headband she always wore.

"Taking all the time in the world, huh?"

The bus came shortly after. Aubrey and Kel got in sitting in the last row, not really saying much of a word.

Heat rose up his neck. Kel couldn't help but feel nervous where he sat. Aubrey was the friend he hadn't been friends with for a long time. The familiarity they once had with each other was almost non-existent now, and there was a sense that something between the two of them had been broken forever, despite whatever amends they might make.

But the ride was meant to last long, rounding off the hour. The hospital resided far away from their little Faraway. At some point, either of the two was bound to say something.

"How... have you been?" Aubrey shyly asked. "I, um, haven't really asked you before..."

Kel put his hands over his knees in a rather awkward stance. "Um. I guess I've been fine... as fine as someone can be."

Kel's legs were long. That's why he always sat at the end of the line if it was available, so that his legs could have room to not be squashed by the seat in front of him. 

Before, his legs weren't that long. When things were fine, he was actually the shortest of the group. Shorter than most boys his age, shorter than some girls his age.

"Really? Fine?" 

Aubrey arched an eyebrow at him. What was she mocking? Wasn't that what he was supposed to say? "Well... I've been feeling like shit, actually. Surprised I'm the only one, 'I guess'." Aubrey derided his tone, crossing her arms.

"Hey...!" Kel exclaimed.

"Well, I'm sorry, excuse me, sir." Aubrey deadpanned.

Now, Kel was the tallest among his peers. Taller than his mom, his dad, taller than Aubrey (something his younger self would be proud of). Was he already taller than Hero? Back then, when he was alive, Sunny had said he was. But then he jumped off that building, and it didn't make sense at all. So maybe Sunny wasn't the most reliable source. Maybe Sunny was a liar.

"W-whatever..."

Silence fell once more. This time, Kel took the turn.

"Are you... not, doing well?" he asked, doubtfully.

Aubrey blinked at him. 

"How could I be? I can't stop thinking about it, all the time. The thought of it... keeps me up at night." 

For once, Kel noticed how dark the circles under Aubrey's eyes had become.

"I, I meant it, by the way..." Aubrey added. "I think we should have done something, anything. Even in the short time we were with him. But... I can't dwell on it anymore, either... so what's left for me?"

She paused, a haunted mien worming into her eyes. "That's also why I wanted to visit Basil. God, that's a whole another can of worms... I don't think he's doing very well either, Kel. He was... really close to Sunny, right? Even if ...that happened." 

Aubrey shook her head, pursing her lips. "Err, I don't even want to think about it."

Oh, that. Yes, of course. The night when hell made its foul sequel in their lives. 

"And you saw how he reacted... ugh, I shouldn't have done that. I'm such an idiot. I already feel like the worst for not going sooner."

Another silence. Kel didn't know much about filling them lately.

"I also..." reluctant, he began. "I also think about it a lot, too. I've been thinking about the past. Memories from back then... with him.., with Mari..." Kel scratched his nape. "What about you?" Kel asked.

Aubrey rested her face on her hand, looking out the window. "Yeah, I'm the same."

***

The midday wind greeted him with warm air as he stepped off the bus. The day had grown warmer, so Kel removed his jacket. 

Aubrey raised her eyebrows. "Honestly, I don't know why you even brought it. It's not cold at all..." she stretched her arms out, rolling her eyes. "Whatever, you ready?"

It was a short walk from there, the hospital was fairly close to the bus stop. But when they finally reached it, anxiety crept over Kel, overwhelmed him before he knew it. He hadn't really given it much thought yet, but they would have to go through the same door where Sunny's splattered guts had been before. 

Where all that blood...

Kel darted his eyes directly at his feet. 

"-Aubrey." he whispered hastily, tugging at her sleeve. "Aubrey, is he still there?"

"H-Huh...?"

"Th—the sidewalk..."

"... Oh." Aubrey spoke. "Oh- no, there's nothing. They cleaned it up... Y-You can look, Kel." she remarked, ending with a light pat on his shoulder.

Kel exhaled. Of course that was the case. 

"Thank you, sorry." 

What Sunny's mother had done with Sunny's remains wasn't something they knew. He was not buried in Faraway church, and there was no known funeral. Perhaps, Sunny was buried in another place, or maybe he was cremated. 

Who knew. Sunny's mother hadn't said a word to them, and from what Kel gathered, she wanted out of the situation as soon as possible, at least as far as the proper formalities of her son's death were concerned.

He might get why. Kel would have also liked to leave as soon as possible. But the thought of it did concern Kel. They wouldn't be able to say goodbye, forever? 

Either way, it would have been difficult, so who actually knew what was for the best?

Finally, the two advanced to the entrance of the hospital, a hint of indecision in their approach. Despite the number of reasons to doubt, Kel had already come this far. It wasn't like they could come back just like that. 

Aubrey approached the front desk, but Kel stopped her.

"Can we even go see him at all? Like... are we allowed?" Kel whispered to her. Last time, they were with Hero, but now that wasn't the case.

"Of course we can... you think I came this far just to get rejected? I called her before. Polly—uh, his caretaker. She's with him now."

Oh, so Aubrey had really thought it through. Kel was under the impression she was going to just break in or something. It was very Aubrey-like to do a thing like that... or not. He may not be as familiar with her actions as he used to be.

With a quick trip to the elevator, they were at Basil's floor. He was removed from the previous one, now residing a couple of units below. Kel wondered if that was because of Sunny. Perhaps all patients had been moved to another floor.

When they got there, Kel knocked on Basil's bedroom door lightly.

As Aubrey had said before, Polly was there to answer it.

"Aubrey, Kel, you're here!" the woman greeted them. "That's great... I was waiting for you to come. Basil has been waiting for you, too..." 

Polly shut the door behind her. "Before we enter... I'd have to tell you something. Basil, he's not doing very well. He's barely eating and he talks very little. I'm very worried... and his parents keep him waiting. Oh, I hope your visits will boost his spirits, even a little. Please be kind to him, Basil is in a very fragile state..."

Polly stared at them with her big and brown eyes, waiting for one of them to give some kind of answer.

Aubrey took the initiative. "R-right, ma'am. We're here, to help him. It's been hard on all of us, too..."

Polly's expression saddened. "Of course... I can't imagine. It must have been very hard to lose a friend, all of you are too young for this. But, I implore you, please help him. It's... Basil, ever since I met him, he was always quite reserved. Now, all he'll ever say is..." her eyes gazed down. "Maybe... he'll talk to you, I really don't know. I'm not sure what's going to happen to him... the other day, he tried the unimaginable. Fortunately, we were able to stop him in time. But he really needs help."

Kel's breath was caught in his lungs for a brief moment at Polly's words. The implications weren't something he wanted to think about. It seemed that Aubrey was in the same lane as him, judging by her expression, but neither commented on the matter itself.

They were led inside by Polly. The arrangement of the room was similar to the previous one. Basil was lying on a bed in the middle of the room, and he had plants surrounding him.

"Basil, we're coming in. Look who came...!" Polly commented cheerfully.

A chill ran down his spine the moment Kel met Basil's pale blue eyes,  There was something about them that immediately gave off an uneasy feeling. A vague emptiness, or maybe they were not empty, rather filled with so much of a horrible thing he couldn't really decipher. 

For a moment, Kel was unable to say anything. Just stare.

"Come, you two. Sit here." Polly pointed at the two chairs at Basil's side.

Aubrey gave him a look, causing him to realize that he hadn't moved until now. He seated himself where Polly had said.

The four remained quiet for a moment. Polly was silent too, quietly staring at them. Aubrey lightly elbowed Kel.

"Say something." she whispered to him.

"W-what? Why not you?!"

"'Cause...!" she pursed her lips. "Please do." Aubrey asked. Did she not know what to say?

"... Hi there, Basil." Kel finally said. Basil barely looked at them, avoiding eye contact. "How are you, 'pal? It's been a minute..."

Basil appeared to be somewhat confused as he stared at them. 

"H-hi Kel..."

Aubrey exhaled, exasperated. "God, you're worse at this than me." she whispered to Kel. However, when the time came to address Basil, turning her attention to him, she was meek again. "Hello, Basil! Um...how have you been?"

Oh come on, she wasn't any better than Kel.

Polly got up from her chair.

"Well... I can see that you're getting along." Was she blind...? 

"I'm going to give you some time alone, okay? I'll go get some snacks... want anything? There's a soda machine in the reception."

Polly soon after left the three alone. Kel wasn't sure if it was a wise choice. Basil hadn't really said much else.

After a moment, Aubrey shifted in her chair. "We got you something..." she said, reaching for her bag. "I thought, I mean, you already have a few around here...but one more wouldn't hurt, right?" She took out a small pot with a pretty pink flower on top. Kel hadn't known she'd bring something like this.

Aubrey stood up and walked over to Basil's side. "So... I hope you like it...,"

Basil looked at her. "... Y-yes, it's beautiful. T-thank you A-Aubrey... and K-Kel." He gave Kel a quick glance. Basil's voice sounded a little rough, stuttering all over the place.

Aubrey hesitated a bit before deciding to put the pot in his hands, and sit down. 

Discomfort invaded the environment again. None of the three really knew what to say. Kel was helpless against that. The harsh coldness of the hospital, Basil in his bed, being back in this room...everything about the situation reminded him of the day itself. His heart was racing uncontrollably. If he let go, he knew he would start shaking. A deep fear had invaded his gut from the moment he had entered this place. He wanted to run away... Of course he couldn't do that. So first of all, it was better to keep quiet.

"Basil, I..." Aubrey began. "It's been hard on you, these two weeks, hasn't it?"

Basil didn't give an answer to that, giving them a puzzled look.

Aubrey took a deep breath before continuing. 

"Basil, I—I wanted to tell you that I am very, very sorry. Because—because of how I acted back then, and... well, every day these last few years... I haven't been treating you right at all." her brows inwardly arched in sorrow. "I... I'm really sorry about that...!"

His expression changed to surprise at her sudden apology. 

"A-Aubrey...it's alright—" Basil tried to comfort her.

Tears began to well in her eyes. "N-no, I don't deserve that.... it's not okay! I've been a jerk to you,... and you never deserved it, ugh—" Aubrey's voice cracked as she angrily wiped away tears.

Aubrey's crying only increased as she continued to apologize to the merciful Basil. A back and forth of apologies from Aubrey's side and clemency from Basil continued between the two of them. Aubrey was not at all satisfied, she continued listing everything she had done wrong in her life and with Basil, like some kind of pent up confessions that someone would say to a priest. At some point, she would even turn to Kel, throwing another apology up at him for headbutting him that time, before turning to Basil and continuing her endless apologies. Kel had thought of that before, but it seemed Aubrey's guilt was consuming her even more since Sunny's death.

"Aubrey, ... it's all fine." Basil gave her his characteristic watery smile. "I—I forgive you, really, y—you don't have to apologize for anything. D—don't cry..."

But Aubrey didn't stop crying. "And I—I know, you probably felt even worse now, with everything... I shouldn't have told you like that, I'm so impulsive sometimes...! God, why am I like this!"

Aubrey stared right into Basil's eyes, and grabbed one of his hands. 

"I promise I'll be better, from now on! I'll be a good friend, if you're willing to... forgive me. I don't want to lose anyone else, Sunny and Mari..." she paused, her gaze lingering on the flower pot in Basil's hands, "I don't— I don't want to lose you like that, not like them...!"

Something in Basil's expression changed slightly, concernful. Aubrey seemed to notice, because she stopped her words to observe him.

After some time, his words came out.

"Sunny... and Mari?" Basil questioned, his eyes narrowing.

It really seemed like a clueless question, something a person would ask about two people he considered strangers.

Aubrey frowned. "... Yes, Basil?"

"What did..." 

Basil looked at the flowers, and then at his hands. His eyes were beginning to cloud over.

"Basil...?" Kel finally intervened.

The strange faces continued, carrying contempt for whatever thoughts were going through his head. 

Suddenly, Basil's eyes largened in realization.

"Ha... ha... Now I remember..." Basil's tense shoulders loosened. "... I can't believe I forgot." he scoffed.

Aubrey raised her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

Basil spoke again, suddenly and frantically, but only incoherent words came out.

"Basil! Calm down... what are you saying?" Aubrey repeated.

His entire demeanor had changed in the blink of an eye. The calm but tense Basil had fallen into a flurry of very tense agitation, fear gripping the way he moved. As if he had suddenly woken up, and the world was a horrible place to wake up.

"—Aubrey you—you were talking, about what s—they d—d—did.... You don't want me, to do that, ... you said. You said that." 

Basil raised his eyes to those of Kel and Aubrey. 

"But—you're wrong. That's a lie! You think they—they did that, but they didn't. They wouldn't, no—not Mari or, or him...!"

Basil gripped the sides of the pot, saying louder than before. "Not Sunny. He wouldn't have done that, I know...!". He nodded erratically. "Hah! I know what happened!"

Basil's desperate eyes met Kel's, whose heart was pounding with fear. "You have to believe me...it wasn't them!"

"Basil!" Aubrey had stopped crying. 

With a determined look, she took him by the shoulders and Basil was forced to look at her and only her.

"It's hard to accept...! But it's the truth, we have to live with it!" Aubrey's words echoed through the room. "We can... we can get through this, but we have to admit the truths!"

"Wait—no!, I'm telling the t—truth...! Mari didn't do it!" 

Basil's eyes glistened. "He didn't...! You don't get it, Sunny's a good person, he wouldn't do something like that. It was..., s—something else..." he finished, bitterly. 

"Something... something killed them...!" Basil gasped, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Aubrey looked at Basil in bewilderment, getting nothing out from her lips.

Basil took the opportunity to grab her wrists.

"Aubrey, you have to believe me!" his voice turned desperate as his eyes expressed so. "That thing... is going to get me too!" Basil gulped.

"It tried to—the other night. I stopped it, but I couldn't get rid of it...!" he released her, using his hands now to cover his face. 

"I tried, I swear I did... I was so tired, and I thought it was the end, but then Sunny... Sunny walked in," Basil said in awe. 

"And... and I thought it would finally be over, but it wasn't... It was... it was attached to him. That thing, it wanted to get him too...!"

"It's all my fault, oh no...!" he cried out. "I couldn't stop it from dragging Mari with it.... But, but I thought now, now that I'm older and, and now that I know better, I could stop it, but I couldn't! It was too much for Sunny... In, in the rooftop, wasn't it... ? That's what you said... that's where it killed him." Basil managed to get out between sobs. 

"It's my fault, everything's my..."

Aubrey took a step back. The ceramic pot, resting against her thighs after Basil's grip released it accidentally fell to the floor and shatter with a loud crack. She flinched.

"I don't get it..." Aubrey mumbled. Basil continued to spout gibberish as his breathing began to quicken more.

"I'm sorry, I never meant to do this...! I just wanted to—to be good, to save him...! All I've ever wanted... I—I'm so sorry... Aubrey, please help me! The thing... the thing that killed them, is coming for me—" Aubrey's eyes were wide, but she still didn't dare utter a word. "I can't take it anymore," Basil's voice was hoarse and uncontrolled, tattered between ragged breaths. He grabbed his head and starting pulling at his hair, then started pounding on his skull.

Deciding to stop standing there like a useless starfish, Kel finally said, "B-Basil, stop!" and he hastened to grasp Basil's arms, unsure. Basil continued to struggle against his hold.

"We—we did this...! Sunny and me.., we did it! Hah!" he laughed nervously. Basil was no longer looking at either of them. "We're going to die, right?! We're going to suffer forever...!"

The door burst open. Polly entered the room and immediately dropped the two soda cans she was carrying.

"Oh, no..." she barely muttered, rushing to Basil's side.

Polly quickly stepped forward and stopped Basil from raising his hands by putting her arms around his torso. Basil didn't even seem to notice anything Polly did. He wasn't trying to pull his hair or hit himself, but he was crying and screaming nonsense.

"S-sorry, I thought..." Polly turned to Aubrey and Kel. "I thought maybe, with you two..., I shouldn't have left you... I'm so sorry." Polly tried something like a smile. "You should step out for a bit... But don't leave yet, please!"

***

Outside of the room, Kel turned to look at Aubrey. Neither of them could say a word, and how could a word be said after all that?

Polly had asked them to wait outside. In the time they were there, two nurses had come in and hadn't come out yet. Kel and Aubrey stood motionless. Perhaps Aubrey was unable to move out of dread, like Kel.

"I... I have no idea." she muttered to herself. With a sharp exhale, she dropped onto one of the plastic seats set up in the aisle. "Ha... what is this?" Aubrey said.

The dried tears had left their almost invisible trail on her face. Slowly, Aubrey turned her head toward him, bloodshot eyes screaming across her face. 

"What... what... do you think?"

Kel opened his mouth, but was interrupted by the door opening in front of them.

It was Polly. She carefully closed the door behind her.

"Oh, thank God you're still here..." Polly said with relief, then bowed. "I'm so sorry. Basil isn't feeling well... he's going through a lot... He's going to get the help he needs soon, I'm sure. I'm sure...,"

"What you saw... well, that's all he does, when he does something. Otherwise, it's a blank." she exhaled.

Polly bowed. "I know that was a lot for you two...but please don't let this stop you from seeing him! I know this is a lot to ask. He really needs all the help he can get...at least until he's gone."

"Gone...?" 

Immediately, the first thing that went through Kel's mind was the babble of words Basil had just told them about something that was going to get rid of him. Surely, Polly wasn't talking about that?

"Yes... Basil's parents decided to transfer him to another hospital... one that is closer to them." she looked aside for a moment. "That's overseas... you won't be seeing him again, at least for a while."

"What?!" Aubrey exclaimed, voice strained. "T—the last thing he needs is to leave...!"

Polly's expression was filled with remorse. 

"I... I know. I tried to talk them out of it, but...they wouldn't listen. It's going to happen in a few weeks. And they'll hire someone else for him after he leaves, so there's nothing I'll be able to do. It's just..." Polly pursed her lips. "I'm so worried about Basil and what will become of him... You've seen it... the death of your dear friend has taken its toll on him. No..., maybe even before this. I may never have really noticed..." Polly looked down at her hands.

Aubrey swallowed. 

"I—I understand..." Aubrey said. "Don't worry, Polly... I promise. We'll be back."

By the time they got to the bus, the day had darkened to the night. The sun had set a few hours earlier and Kel would be home much later than he'd told his mother, but that was the last thing on his mind. All kinds of questions swarmed through his brain, bouncing off each other, analyzing and replaying the scenes that had unfolded in the hospital room.

Aubrey sat down next to him, yawning. "I'm getting a little tired..." she shot him a look. "Meanwhile, you look like you're about to pass out, dude."

"God, Aubrey..." Kel reacted, a little startled.

"You were pretty quiet back there. I, um, I guess I can't really blame you..."

"... did you hear all the things he said? All that was... so messed up." Kel said, shaking his head. He didn't think he could be able to look him in the eye after that.

"He seems... tormented." Aubrey considered.

"He's crazy!"

"Kel!" Aubrey rebuked him. "He's distraught. I think I did that... When, uh, I mentioned Sunny and Mari. We shouldn't do that, next time."

"Next... time? Do you really want to go again?" Kel frowned at the idea.

"Of course...? Didn't you hear what Polly said? He's leaving soon! To freaking England or Germany or whatever! Do you have any idea how far is that?" Aubrey exclaimed. "We need to be with him as much as possible before that! ...right?"

Kel meekly looked down at his hands, avoiding his eyes. His heart had just calmed down after all the events. He could barely hide his anxiety through the movements of things. This visit, at least for now, was something Kel regretted. Seeing and hearing Basil like that...was the grim reminder of all that had happened. It was like being hit over the head again, being forced to understand once again what his reality had become.

Basil's delusional talk forced him to acknowledge the fact that Sunny had killed himself. Because... listening to Basil, he saw at least a little bit of him, perhaps deeply rooted within him on some level; a certain willingness to deny things as they were. Maybe for Kel, running away was avoiding thinking about it, living his life as if nothing had happened... and for Basil, it was getting to the point of completely denying that it was suicide.

"It's... a lot, Aubrey." Kel just said. "I don't know if I can handle it."

Aubrey closed her eyes. She remained silent for a moment. 

"Kel... I get it. It was too much for me, too. But... Basil needs us! What Polly said... I think it's going to be worse than she let on. I feel there was genuine fear behind her words. I just know... what's ahead of Basil, it's going to end up worse for him. And—and we can't do anything about it, but at least, we can give him some memories... something, I don't know... something sweet, something worth thinking about Faraway. Before... before probably never seeing him again."

Kel remembered how sorrowful Aubrey looked when she apologized to Basil.

Maybe... maybe Aubrey saw herself in Basil's regret over Sunny's death.

"... Let me think about it." 

After a deep breath, Kel exhaled with a soft smile. 

"Okay, you're right, I'll go with you."

Aubrey smiled at him, breathing a sigh of relief.

***

In the following days, they set certain days to visit Basil. 

Concerned at first, Kel said he would only go three days a week at most. But after the second visit was so different from the catastrophic first... 

(There was no screaming. Polly was in the room with them at all times, as she had promised, and Basil even shared a few words with them)

—he agreed to go every day with Aubrey except on weekends.

Things seemed to go well after that. There really weren't any other unsettling moments with Basil, at least during the frequent but brief moments they shared. 

However, it wasn't as if Basil seemed to be improving much; it all seemed like a facade, but it did go from collapsing at the slightest thing that upsets him, to being able to strike up conversations with them, Kel assumed that was an improvement. He was not an expert by all means. Still, that emptiness in Basil's eyes from day one, that slight tension beneath his words or actions, as if it might snap at any moment, never left the small cubicle in which all of their interactions were trapped in.

As for the time Kel wasn't there, he didn't know much. Basil could be the same or worse. Polly didn't comment on the time they were gone, and they didn't ask.

Mari or Sunny were never mentioned again. Kel knew he couldn't bring them up, but still, he wished they could ask Basil about that night. It was a bit stressful and unfair that he would never find out the reason they fought. But life was unfair anyway, and it wasn't worth upsetting Basil.

Their visits had turned into a mix of trying to get Basil to interact with someone other than Polly or the nurses, and a final goodbye to someone they might never see again. 

Aubrey told Kel how much this bothered her; how she felt like she had wasted so much time getting mad at everyone, how that felt pointless now, and that time was lost forever, now more apparent than ever. 

Kel felt the same way; it all seemed to have vanished in the blink of an eye, and he truly regretted her inability to act sooner, both with Sunny and Basil and with Aubrey.

Something else had happened. Kel and Aubrey were often alone on the bus due to their visits. Naturally, they finally had a chance to talk about many things. Themes about the years they had spent apart repeatedly resurfaced in their conversations. They expressed their regrets, about many things, and Kel finally realized how much he had missed Aubrey.

And for Aubrey, well, she really spilled her guts there in those conversations between their time on the bus. Kel learned a lot about Aubrey in the weeks that followed; about their terrible home life and how things had gone downhill since Mari's death. She also got to know a lot more about Aubrey's new group of friends, how they had helped her so much during Mari's death and the breakup of the group. They may not have been as bad as Kel had previously thought.

In return, Aubrey learned of Kel's own life; which was probably not much more than basketball and bad grades and just a four year-long sequence of pathetic shortcomings really, but still, she listened to his every word, and that was nice. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but Kel had been terribly lonely for a long time. 

The traumatic event of losing his entire group of friends, the estrangement from his brother, were perhaps the reason he was unable to connect with the friends he may have had over time. He had lost a major part of himself with Mari's death and the dissolution of his group of friends, although he didn't know exactly what. Something about how easy it had been for everything around his to shatter kept him from letting his guard down ever again.

They didn't spend much time away from their visits, well, Kel didn't go out much lately anyway, and things were still a little awkward from time to time. But getting Aubrey back as a friendly presence was kind of like part of that was back in place. Aubrey, along with Basil and Sunny, had once been one of his best friends, and was someone he missed dearly, even without realizing it.

The day before Basil was leaving, Aubrey and Kel went to see him in the hospital.

It was Monday, the first day of school. Kel and Aubrey had missed it. 

They were talking about plants. Aubrey was asking Basil, the gardening expert of the three, for advice, since she wanted to plant her own flowers. Kel chimed in, saying that he was also interested in getting advice from him, talking about how his mother had gotten some seeds for a plant she didn't even know the name of.

"That, Kel... Um, if you don't know what kind of flower you have, it's a little more difficult. All plants have different needs to grow healthy."

"Aww, come one... Isn't there, like, a general rule for all flowers?"

"Um, I guess there are... every plant needs things like light, water, nutrients, room to grow, but..." he hummed thoughtfully. "Well, you might be able to identify the flower with the seed. Things like its color, size, shape..., I'm sure there's a way, if you want, I could ask Polly t-to give you one of my books. I think I have one with a section on seed identification..." he trailed off.

"Wow, thank you, Basil!" Kel thanked him. "You really know a lot about plants!"

"It- it's nothing, Kel..." Basil smiled.

Orange light came from the window of Basil's hospital room. The sun was finally setting. Not long after, Aubrey and Kel would have to go.

"A.., Actually..." Basil unexpectedly spoke. 

Both pairs of eyes fixed on him, prompting him to smile nervously at the sudden attention

"There's something I wanted to tell you..."

"Yes?" Aubrey inquired.

Basil was silent for a moment. He slightly pursed his lips, before shaking his head. 

"N-no... W-well..., it's a request. I hope you don't mind. I have it here..." 

Basil reached into his nightstand drawer, pulling out a small plastic bag with some buds on it. 

"I asked Polly to get me this a while ago... I've been trying to get this out for a long time, but I r-really ran out of time, didn't I?" Basil chuckled, softly.

"A-anyway, these are.., tulips, actually. I was wondering..." 

Basil fiddled with the little plastic. 

"If-if you wouldn't mind... planting th—this... this... in- in..." his stutter was getting worse. "At his... his...- where... where the... where S-Sunny... where he..."

With time, Kel noticed how good Aubrey had become at reading Basil, and how attentive she was to his signs of nervousness. Maybe she was just good at reading people naturally, or maybe she was putting in the extra effort with Basil. Kel couldn't say the same for himself; if anything, he was trying not to interfere too much for fear of being wrong, electing to let Aubrey take the lead when it came to Basil.

That's why when Basil started to struggle even more to finish his sentence, Aubrey stopped him and took his hand, reassuring him with a nod.

"I understand. Of course, Basil." 

She smiled reassuringly at him, and turned her head to Kel. 

"Right, Kel? We'll take care of them... there, where Sunny's at."

They still didn't know if there was a burial place to begin with. But Basil's pleading eyes left no room to discuss the facts with him.

"Yeah, of- of course. We'll do it." Kel smiled as well. "Don't worry."

The soft smile on Basil's features seemed somewhat genuine. Maybe something in him was relieved.

"Thank you... It means a lot to me. T-Thank you for everything. These days... I really appreciate you coming here. Thank you... I will miss you so much...,"

Aubrey's eyes softened. "Basil, I'm happy that we could spend this time together, too, and we – we'll meet again, okay? We may have to travel or whatever... I- I don't know how, I don't know, I don't care if I have to swim across the ocean... haha." 

Aubrey's hands were shaking. 

"But- but this isn't goodbye, okay? Basil, I mean it... I mean it. Take care of yourself... okay? Take it easy, please..."

Basil's eyes wavered. He decided not to respond to her words, preferring to look to the side, and Aubrey didn't press him. They stood like that for a moment, taking in the silent confirmation of nothing at all. What would be of the future was not something they could know.

After a while, Basil opened his mouth.

"Th-the flowers. The tulips..." Basil began. "Make sure you plant them soon... they are buds, after all... and- and you should choose a shady spot, you also need to get-"

"Wait, give me a sec'!" Kel exclaimed. 

He searched the room with his eyes and found a small piece of paper and a pen. He took them in hand. 

"Ok, you can start!"

Basil smiled at them. 

"I'll tell you everything you need to know..."

***

"How are we going to do it?"

"What?"

"The flowers...?" Aubrey inquired. "God... we don't even know where... If there's even a where..., I'll feel so bad if we can't do it."

"I could ask my mom for Mrs. Suzuki's number..." Kel replied. "But you're right... we don't even know if there's a grave..."

Night was already on its horizon, but the bus still hadn't passed. They may have missed the last one.

"...Kel?" Aubrey called his name, quietly.

"Yeah?"

She didn't respond immediately. 

"Do you... do you think we'll see him again?"

Kel closed his eyes. 

"I don't know. I don't think he thinks we'll do."

"...Oh."

The bus arrived shortly after. They hadn't missed it after all.

***

Kel stared at the paper in his hand. He had a very important address written on it; Sunny's mother's new home, the one he was staring with both of his eyes.

Apparently, Kel's mother didn't have Mrs. Suzuki's phone number, or rather, when she tried to dial it, it didn't work. 

However, she did have her new address Mrs. Suzuki had given her some months ago. It was in another city, which was even further from the hospital.

His mother was hesitant to let him go, but after a few words she stopped trying to detain him. She might have taken pity on him. People treated him more carefully, lately... Was something in his face different?

Kel had come without even talking to Mrs. Suzuki first, but, well, he had good reason to.

Taking a look, the building itself was not big, only four stories high. Kel looked at the paper again and pressed the button of the apartment in question.

...

No one answered.

Wasn't she home? What could Kel do now?

If Aubrey was there with him, maybe she could think of something else. She wasn't available today, though.

Kel decided to call one more time... and then another, and another one. God, like mother like son, he funnily thought.

Most likely, no one was there, so his persistence probably didn't do anything, but he really couldn't bring himself to stop trying.

Finally, after seven rings or so, he had to stop.

He would have to come later...maybe.

Hopelessness came over him. What was even the point? It wasn't going to make things any better, or anything like that. 

Sunny was already dead, and the last thing his mother wanted to see was probably him, a friend of her dead son.

...

Ah... he really was gone, wasn't he? And so was Basil... at least, Kel wasn't sure if he was alive or not. They hadn't received any letters yet. The uncertainty gave him space to imagine what his life could be... maybe he was getting better, already forgetting everything bad that happened.

Maybe... but he couldn't really think those things about Sunny, could he?

Just as he was about to turn around, suddenly, a noise came out of the speaker, followed by a female voice.

"Who... who's there...?" Kel heard.

So she was there! Had he woken her up? That was not a good start. Although it would be strange if he did, because it was already noon. But it was Sunday, after all.

"H... Hello, Miss Suzuki!" Kel tried his happiest voice. "Um, this is Kel, your neighbor—err, I mean, your ex-neighbor, Eleanor's son?... I was wondering if you had a second to talk."

For a few seconds, there was nothing but empty static on the other end of the line.

"... I'll come down." and the noise stopped all-together.

Kel sat on the stairs as he waited. After a long wait of 15 minutes, Kel heard the door move.

A woman with disheveled hair and prominent dark circles under her eyes, unmistakably Sunny's mother, opened the door.

In Kel's memories, Mrs. Suzuki was an energetic and lively figure, in contrast to Mr. Suzuki, who had a much calmer and more serious demeanor. However, the person in front of him was the complete opposite.

"You're here." she said.

Her frankness was piercing. "Y-yes... I'm here..." Kel stammered.

Mrs. Suzuki didn't bother to say anything else, so Kel continued. 

"Sorry to bother you, ma'am... okay, I'll just say it..."

Her cold eyes assessed him. "Go on."

"So... I was wondering, um. I never got to know if... if, with, with..." Kel danced around the question. "I—I have, alright, look."

Kel took off his backpack and pulled out the sad plastic bag with the sad tulips buds, taking a deep breath. "I was hoping you could tell me where you buried... Sunny, so I could plant these there..."

Her eyes immediately softened at the mention of her son. "Oh..."

They were both silent for a moment.

"Well..., what are they?" Sunny's mother asked.

"Ah, these are tulips. A friend gave them to me, ... we used to have... this thing that we did, if you remember." Kel recalled. "It was kind of silly I guess, heh. We all gave each other a flower, back then when we used to hang out... and well, Sunny, I guess it was a tulip for him..."

"I... see."

Another pause. 

"That... yes, I remember that. You used to play these silly games..." Her harsh expression fell into a softer smile, as she also recalled. 

"My sweet Mari, she was like that too... she used to tell me all about her antics with her friends... those were sweet times, I bet." 

Mrs. Suzuki swallowed. "Okay, I'll show you where my son's grave is. It's not too far from here. Do you mind if I go with you?"

The ride was short, as Mrs. Suzuki predicted. The city was not that large, so the church they went to was located in a quiet place, further away from the bustling streets. The churches building was old and gaunt, and barely held itself together, but it did have a nice view from the entrance.

Along the way, Sunny's mother explained that she couldn't bring herself to bury him in the same church she had buried Mari. She didn't want to do much of a funeral at all, she'd said, and she would rather have the grave closer to her anyway.

"I guess that didn't matter, because I haven't actually been visiting..." she added, in a sad tone.

When they arrived, Mrs. Suzuki didn't say anything for a moment. She just looked out the window at the church, and sighed.

"Kelsey..." she started, with a smile.

"I remember you, you know? All of you... all those years ago, I was excited to find out that we had moved next door to a family with kids around Mari and Sunny's age. Your mom was so pleasant, too. I'm glad you were good friends with my Mari and Sunny, even if things ended the way they did..."

Mrs. Suzuki was no longer smiling. 

"The years... the years after she died, Sunny didn't take it well at all. I know you tried to reach out many times... I'm sorry, you must have been very lonely. You two used to be very close... and I noticed that even with the others, you stopped hanging out with them, right? That made me... very sad. Mari would have been so sad to see how everything is now." 

Her voice broke a little, and Kel thought he saw her quickly wipe away a tear. 

"I just, ... can't face her, not after this."

Sunny's mother paused and cleared her throat. She took the keys and, from her seat, looked back at Kel with a weak smile. 

"We have some gardening to do, right?

The interior of the church was similar to Faraway's, though much less excessive, if that was the word. Even though this was the second church he had ever visited, Kel guessed that they all probably looked similar, since they all served the same purpose. Similar to Faraway's church, they went through a back gate to reach the graveyard.

However, before stepping through the door, Kel paused. 

He had noticed, on the way from Mrs. Suzuki's house, how nervous he was getting from the ordeal.

This is it, right? It is real. He is here. No more imagining what could have been, had he stayed.

Mrs. Suzuki waited with the door open for Kel to come through, which he eventually did, trying to shake off any sense of unease he might have.

The cemetery was slightly larger than Faraway's, though not by much. And essentially, it didn't take them long to reach his grave.

"This is..." Sunny's mother began, but she couldn't continue. 

"Oh... my Sunny..." she could only say.

Kel observed it very carefully. There was a tombstone with his name engraved and the years he lived.

'Here lies Sunny Suzuki. 1987-2003.'

Kel could only stand dumbly and stare at it. He had his backpack in his hand, but he still didn't open it yet. 

He slowly knelt down, feeling through the engraved letters with his hand.

Those dates felt wrong. A life shouldn't have passed so quickly. It shouldn't, but it did.

Before, Kel was afraid that never knowing where Sunny was buried would leave him restless, because he would never truly know what became of him. But seeing that there was a place after all, meant that it was real, it was real, and he had to realize it again, and that was the worse part.

 When would he finally get it? When would reality finally crash down on him?

How could Sunny have been so cruel to him?

Kel thought it was useless to dwell on it, but Basil's words came back to haunt him even now. 

He finally understood why Basil would prefer to think Sunny didn't end his life that way, even at the horrible cost of thinking he was murdered. Because if Sunny had done it voluntarily, it meant that he wanted Kel to feel as horrible as he did now, and that only made the pain worse and worse for him. It was an unbearable thought.

He only got to see him for three days before it was over forever. 

What could have gone so wrong that two brothers decided to end their lives at the same age? How could it be a coincidence? If there was, what was the reason? What had led them to do that? And how did no one see it coming on either occasion?

Back then, Kel didn't understand anything, he was a useless young boy after all. He was powerless and helpless as he watched Hero waste himself in the sheets day and night, becoming more and more of a stranger, a nobody in his life. Kel hadn't understood why Hero had lashed out at him with such hatred that one day they fought, and for many nights he had wondered if his brother hated him. Now, Kel understood. Maybe Hero had felt as much self-hatred as Kel did now.

Discordant truths disemboweled him, removed his organs, and picked him piece by piece over and over and over and over and over. But those truths could never reach his ears, leaving Kel ignorant until his dying day, bleeding to death, and in the end Sunny would be there, watching him, choosing that violent fate for him, and that would hurt more than anything.

Everything was left unresolved. Ever since he was young, Kel didn't want to think about his fears, always reluctant to admit the things that scared him. 

This was different. Something that, just considering it, made him tremble, as if he were on the edge of a precipice, about to fall and learn something terrible. Discordant truths disemboweled him, removed his organs, and picked him piece by piece over and over and over and over and over. But those truths could never reach his ears, leaving Kel ignorant until his dying day, bleeding to death, and in the end Sunny would be there, watching him, choosing this violent fate for him, and that would hurt him more than anything.

But not at all: there was no need for things to end like this, there was no need for explanations. Things were as they were. The only thing he could do was wait for time to do its part. He really hoped, with all his heart, that one day, it would all become a fleeting memory of the distant past. All Kel could do was wait and let time pass, hoping it would get better and the horrible thoughts would stop. Stop preventing him from sleeping. Stop thinking about the past, stop the nightmare.

(so all Kel could do was wait? Isn't that all he ever did?)

The quiet cries of Sunny's mother behind him brought him back to his senses. He realized how much he desired to not be there.

Kel had come half-hoping that seeing Sunny's resting place would feel like a final, fateful sight, the culminating invitation to move on.

Instead, all he felt was his stomach churning and his skin prickled with sweat. He wished it was already over. None of this felt like closure. It was like leaving a gap open for the fear to return, to think about it again. And that never ended well because no matter how much he thought about it, no matter how much he did or didn't dwell over the situation, it just would never make sense.

A cross at the end of the graveyard that caught his attention for a moment. He still had work to do.

Kel lowered his backpack and went to work. These flowers, maybe these flowers, maybe they would give a meaning to everything.

***

It was finally movie night. With winter approaching, nights like this became rare.

Gathered in Mari and Sunny's house, the group of friends had formed a comfortable pillow fort inside the living room, right in front of the television. Since they had started considerably late, and had quite the active day (even by Kel's standard), by the second film Kel was already weak from exhaustion, and gave in to sleep by the third.

But he woke up, by sheer coincidence- maybe a strange noise, or perhaps all the soda he drank earlier did affect him after all.

Kel had no idea how late it was, but the movies were still rolling. With a quick glance around the room, he confirmed no one was awake besides him.

Looking towards the sofa, Aubrey, Sunny, and Mari were there. Aubrey was fast asleep on one end of the couch.

However, it looked like Mari and Sunny still had their eyes open. Kel heard that whispers were presumably being shared between the siblings. Sunny seemed to be quietly asking Mari something, apparently about the movie. Kel noticed Sunny eyes seemed curious, yet tired.

He managed to catch some words.

"What did that...?"

Mari, in low volume, answered. "I think... because of..."

Sunny's mouth dropped slightly in surprise. He asked about something else that Kel couldn't hear. Mari assured him with a "you'll see..."

The siblings smiled to each other. Mari's smile was expressive and wide; even at late hours in the night, she always had a way to look cheerful. Sunny was more meek about it than his older sister, but it was still rare to see that expression cast in his face.

Sunny leaned into the welcoming embrace from Mari, who settled herself against the arm of the sofa. 

A sweet scene. They both remained silent, leaving only the TV noises to be heard.

Kel, half asleep, half awake, stared a while longer. The two didn't even seem to notice him awake, too fascinated by the movie that was playing.

At some point, Kel met with Sunny's eyes. He barely moved his head. Kel tracked something stun in his face, but nothing more. 

His mouth did something resembling a friendly smile, a recognition of Kel's presence. 

After Kel smiled back at his friend, Sunny glanced wordlessly at the television, and put a hand around Mari's arm.

Feeling tired again, Kel closed his eyes,

and fell asleep.