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Chay was tired. And he kind of ached a little, which he was used to at this point in his recovery. But still, he longed for the day when he wouldn’t be aware of how his ribs worked when he was breathing.
Unfortunately, that day was still a ways off - a fact that the physiotherapist who had been brought in by the compound doctor specifically to help Chay, had just confirmed in today’s session.
In the weeks since Chay had been attacked, he’d healed up well. The bruises were gone, and except for the wrist support he still wore, nobody could tell by looking at him that he had been badly injured. The problem was building back up his muscle strength and his range of movement again, all while dealing with the persistent ache that didn’t seem to want to go away. Especially in his ribs.
Sighing to himself, he ambled out of the elevator and down the hall in the direction of his bedroom. Except his destination was actually the room – or rooms – opposite his, where his boyfriend (boyfriend!) was currently. His boyfriend who as Chay got closer, he could hear humming along to the music he had playing.
Chay came to a stop at the first door to Kim’s connecting rooms that was open and let out a surprised breath at what he saw. Kim was sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded by boxes, and he seemed to be sorting through items from one box and splitting them between the others. He looked up when he heard Chay at the door.
“Hey,” he said with a smile, getting up from his place on the floor and walking over to greet Chay.
“Hi,” Chay said warmly, the ache in his wrist and side momentarily forgotten as Kim reached him and stretched up on his toes to press a kiss to his lips. Kim having to stretch up to kiss Chay was a new development thanks to a recent growth spurt and Chay loved it. Kim grumbled about it, but Chay suspected he secretly loved it too.
Rocking back on his feet, Kim took Chay’s good hand and led him across the room to his bed, where he gently pushed him so he would sit on it, before going back to his spot on the floor.
“What’s going on here?” Chay asked, looking around the whole room which he could see properly now from his spot on the bed. It was pure chaos. Not the kind of chaos you’d find in his room, but the kind of chaos that came from trying to actually bring about order. The wardrobe doors were open, but Chay could see that there was nothing in them. The dresser had various piles of books stacked on it, one leaning precariously enough that Chay thought it would fall any second now. And now that he was in the room properly, he could see the piles of boxes and knick knacks that surrounded Kim extended from an immediate circle around him, to the double doors at the opposite end of the room that led into Kim’s sitting room.
“Just a clear out,” Kim said evasively. “How was your session?”
Chay eyed his boyfriend, contemplating whether or not to let him away with the obvious attempt to change the subject. After all, Kim had texted him mid-way through his session asking him to meet him in this room when he was done. In the end, he decided to go with it. He also threw in a flop backwards onto the bed for good measure, albeit a gentle one.
“Ugh, tiring!” he whined. “I never knew you could actually feel your bones when they move before. I don’t like it. I’d like it to stop now.” Chay groused from his position on the bed staring at the ceiling.
Kim didn’t respond, which, rude. He was the one who asked. Chay was just about to tell him so when he felt the bed dip on each side of his hips and a weight settle across his thighs. He looked up to find his boyfriend looking down at him with an amused smile on his face.
“That’s what happens when you break three ribs and smash your wrist,” he said, his tone leaning just this side of sardonic. His hands however, betrayed his true feelings on the matter, as they gently took Chay’s injured wrist and started massaging the joint, the sore spots long learnt. Kim had accompanied Chay to one of his appointments and when he had seen the physiotherapist massage Chay’s wrist at the end of the session to relieve some his pain, Kim had asked to be taught how to do it. Chay had melted a little as the physio had taken Kim through the motions.
The action made his insides all warm and fuzzy now too so he figured he could play along with Kim’s re-direction for a while.
“I resent the insinuation that I broke my bones myself. Not even you would bounce back after being taken out by a two-hundred-pound man. Even with all your muscles,” Chay grumbled back.
Kim raised his eyebrows at that.
“All my muscles, huh?” he said, smugly, flexing his left thigh so that Chay could feel it under the palm of his good hand where it rested on Kim’s leg.
“Ugh, do not be smug,” Chay groused, making like he was trying to roll out from under Kim. In reality, he would happily stay in this position for hours. Kim didn’t need to know that though. Or his ego didn’t, at least.
“These muscles?” Kim asked again, laughing slightly as he grabbed Chay’s right hand and pushed it under his shirt and against his abs, flexing as he did it.
“Stop flexing!”
“Why? You don’t like it?” Kim was fully laughing now.
“Ugh shut up, you know you’re hot. In fact, it’s annoying how hot you are, you know that? You could have left some hotness for the rest of us mere mortals.”
Kim let out a loud laugh at that, letting Chay’s hand go. Chay left it where it was though. Sue him, he was very attached to Kim’s abs.
Kim raised his eyebrows at Chay again, the look on his face telling Chay he knew exactly what he was doing, before he let go of Chay’s sore wrist and leaned forward so he was leaning on his elbows which were now on either side of Chay’s head. Chay was forced to move the hand under Kim’s shirt at the movement, but he simply slid it around Kim’s side to settle it in the dip at the bottom of Kim’s spine. And maybe a couple of his fingers dipped below the waistband of Kim’s sweatpants.
“Hi,” Kim whispered again, nuzzling his nose gently against Chay’s, smiling lightly against Chay’s lips. He was so close that Chay could feel the next words that Kim uttered against them. “I will have you know that you are also very, very, hot.”
And this was the part of his relationship that Chay hadn’t been expecting. Sure, he knew Kim loved him. He didn’t doubt that at all. In the weeks before their dramatic hospital reunion, he’d figured out on his own that Kim at least cared for him and the song Kim had written for him and sent him was basically a declaration of such.
But what he hadn’t really anticipated was Kim being attracted to him. He’d kind of resigned himself to always feeling somewhat inferior to Kim in that regard. He was pretty sure they’d have sex – at least, he’d hoped they would - but he figured for Kim it would be because that’s what he’d want from a relationship, and that it would be a way for him to find his pleasure. And Chay was totally fine with going along for the ride – literally – because he was eighteen and Kim was basically Thailand’s best impression of Adonis and really, he wanted to be having sex with him all the time.
He was so sure in his assessment of their dynamic and the future of their sex life that he’d been completely taken aback by Kim’s reaction when he’d figured out Chay’s thoughts. Kim had been so horrified and so offended it had almost led to their first proper fight as a couple. It hadn’t, but the conversation had ended in tears. Before Kim literally took Chay apart piece by piece and demonstrated very thoroughly just how attractive he found him.
Chay hadn’t known it could feel like that. Granted he didn’t have much experience before Kim, but never in a million years would he have guessed how good it would feel to feel like you were burning from the inside out. And that was with three broken ribs! The sex they’d had so far was intense, but actually fairly gentle, because Kim was always so mindful of hurting Chay.
Kim told him it was natural for sex to be so intense for him because he was young and he was new to having sex at all, but Chay couldn’t see a future where he didn’t feel like he was imploding when Kim touched him. And for all Kim’s talk about Chay being young, he always got totally overwhelmed himself. And Chay knew – even if he refused to talk about it – that Kim had a lot more experience than he did. More than most people did, probably. Yeah, Chay didn’t think about that very often.
Chay was brought back to the present by Kim whispering his name against his lips.
Chay just smiled in response before lifting his chin to close the mere millimetre between them, capturing Kim’s lips with his. It was not chaste, and Chay quickly got lost in the feeling of Kim dominating his mouth, of him prying his lips open with his own. When their tongues met, Chay’s breath caught in his throat and his legs tightened instinctively around Kim’s hips, his knees now locking Kim on his lap. Kim responded by dropping his own hips, bringing his entire body flush with Chay’s. One of his hands had moved to his favourite spot at the back of Chay’s neck, his fingers tangling in Chay’s hair. Chay’s hand at the small of Kim’s back urged Kim’s body closer, even though there wasn’t a hair’s breadth between them.
The need for air separated them, but Kim hadn’t even taken a full breath before he was working his way down Chay’s jaw to his neck, biting into the tendon there that caused Chay’s hips to buck and –
“Ow, ow, shit, ow!”
“Fuck! Are you ok?” Kim sprung back, settling on his knees again.
“Chay?”
“Just a second,” Chay breathed out through gritted teeth. His eyes were closed, and he was breathing heavily through his nose, willing the pain in his side to ease. It wasn’t long before it did, and soon he could feel Kim’s hand on his skin massaging the area where his damaged ribs lay under the surface.
“Muscle spasm?” Kim asked gently when Chay had come back to the present enough that he could converse.
“Yeah. That’s helping,” he whispered, indicating Kim’s movements with his hand. “Thank you.”
“Hmm,” Kim responded. He had tried to apologise to Chay the first time this had happened, which had been exactly six weeks and one day after Chay had been attacked. Chay had shot him down, hard, and told him in no uncertain terms that it was not his fault and that he was not to apologise for doing something they both wanted, and they’d just have to figure it out.
And fuck did they figure it out. Kim had been with a lot of people in his life since he’d been far too young – he could admit that to himself now. He’d stumbled through figuring out that he liked sleeping with men in his late teens. He’d worked out what he liked and made sure he always got it. By his early twenties he’d harnessed a reputation for being quite the pro. But with Chay? It was like his body had been waiting that whole time for him to come along for Kim to know how it could really feel. Being with Chay was ecstasy and everything that came before him was – meh.
“Better?” Kim asked after a few minutes when Chay seemed to have relaxed, the muscles under his hand no longer tense.
“Yeah,” Chay breathed out, relieved.
Kim pulled Chay’s shirt back down over his stomach, letting his hand linger on Chay’s sore side for a second before he manoeuvred himself over Chay and into a lying position beside him. Once he was on his back, he inched himself closer to Chay, so their sides were touching. He took his hand in his, bringing them to rest on his chest before he turned his head to place a kiss on Chay’s temple.
Chay smiled at him before closing his eyes. Kim’s massage in addition to helping his muscle spasm, had left him feeling rather boneless. That, on top of the tiredness that always followed a physio appointment had Chay feeling sleepy. And being on a bed, any bed, with Kim was the optimum sleeping environment as far as Chay was concerned. He turned his head slightly so he could nuzzle across Kim’s shoulder into his neck, happy that Kim had asked to meet him here and – wait.
Chay fought his eyelids open and looked at his boyfriend, who was facing the ceiling with his eyes closed.
“Kim?” He whispered.
“Hmm?” Kim opened his eyes and turned to face Chay. “I thought you were falling asleep?”
“I was. But then I remembered that you asked me to meet you here. So – did you want to talk about something?”
Now, Chay had a fairly good idea that Kim wanted to talk about something that he wasn’t very comfortable broaching, based on the earlier, very transparent steering of the conversation. But the most oblivious person in the world would have noticed the way Kim tensed, his gaze immediately going back to the ceiling.
“Kim?” Chay asked gently, squeezing the hand in his own that was still resting on Kim’s chest.
Kim took a deep breath before he turned back to look at Chay again.
He looked…nervous.
“Is everything ok?” Chay asked, concerned now in the face of his boyfriend’s anxiety. Chay disconnected their hands briefly, causing Kim to huff unhappily. But Chay quickly lifted himself up on his side, leaning on his elbow so he was hovering slightly above Kim. He brought his other hand to join Kim’s hand on his chest. Finally, Chay shuffled a little, sore side be damned, until his front was plastered to Kim’s side and threw his left leg over Kim’s.
“Settled?” Kim asked him on a chuckle.
“Don’t try and change the subject again.” Chay responded. “What’s wrong?”
Kim didn’t turn away this time, but Chay saw the uncertainty in Kim’s eyes where he held his gaze. Chay was really starting to worry now, but he wouldn’t rush Kim. If he’d learnt anything since they had become a couple it was that his boyfriend could write a whole song about his feelings in about ten minutes, but actually speaking the words took time. And patience. A lot of patience.
When Kim finally spoke, he startled all the air out of Chay’s lungs.
“We shouldn’t live together yet right?”
“What?!”
“I mean, you’re still in school. And I’m spending too many nights at the studio right now with the new EP coming so you’d be on your own more often than not. And I think Tankhun might kill me if I took you away. And that’s not to mention your brother…”
“Kim!”
Kim, abruptly pulled from his ramble, locked eyes with Chay again. Chay who looked very surprised by the direction this conversation had taken.
“Did you seriously ask me to come here so you could tell me we’re not ready to take another step in our relationship? A step that we haven’t even hinted at before?!”
“What? No!”
“Then what exactly are you trying to say, Kim? Besides the fact that you don’t want to live with me?” Chay pushed back exasperated.
“Yet! I said yet!” Kim spluttered back.
“That doesn’t really make it better!” Chay’s voice was starting to take on a shrill note that he wasn’t proud of, but this talk was niggling away at the little part of Chay that he worked really hard on ignoring and keeping hidden. The part that felt that he wasn’t good enough for Kim. That he wasn’t mature enough for him.
“Shit! This isn’t coming out right,” Kim said, looking back to the ceiling and taking several deep breaths.
Chay snatched his hand back from Kim’s and started to move across the bed so he could get off it.
“Well, you know what, you can let me know when you’ve figured it out…”
Kim’s hand grabbed Chay’s again and he tightened his grip before pulling Chay gently back into his side, effectively cutting him off with the movement. He then wrapped his other arm around Chay’s shoulders not, allowing him to move.
“Please, just – just give me a second?” Kim asked the ceiling, a hint of desperation in his tone before he looked to Chay pleadingly.
Chay huffed angrily and looked away from Kim but resigned himself to being stuck in this position for the time being. He stayed stuck for a while, stewing quietly. Eventually, he looked at Kim, ready to yell at him to let him up again if he wasn’t actually going to say anything, but the picture Kim painted made him stop in his tracks.
His boyfriend was stressed. With a capital S. If Chay thought about it, he’d guess that Kim had probably been working himself up to this conversation for a while. But Kim was terrible at asking Chay for what he needed or telling him how he felt. It was just like him to fuck it up by blurting something out with no context. How he managed press interviews and live streams was beyond Chay. But then, Kim was an expert at switching on his Wik persona, and even though Chay was mad, he could at least be grateful that Kim was being himself with him.
Chay wasn’t really sure where to go from here, so he figured the best thing to do would be to actually answer Kim’s question - without exploding at him this time. Sighing, he shuffled around a bit, not oblivious to the way Kim’s hand tightened in his again, until he was lying down fully, still on his side, with his head on Kim’s shoulder. Rather than pull his hand away from where they were joined, he instead moved his thumb in slow circles on the back of Kim’s hand in an effort to release some of the tension there. Kim didn’t respond other than to tighten the arm he had around Chay’s shoulders and take a deep breath into his chest.
They lay there quietly for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts. For Chay’s part, he really thought about the prospect of living with Kim and if he was ready for that. And the answer he came up with was – no.
“I don’t think I’m ready to not live with Porsche yet,” he said quietly, breaking the silence that had fallen over them. He felt Kim turn his head slightly, so his forehead was resting against Chay’s temple.
“No?” He asked, just as quietly. Chay could feel Kim’s other hand now scraping through his hair.
“I mean, you’re right. I am still in school. And as much as this isn’t my favourite place to live, I like that Porsche is here. I didn’t – I didn’t like…” Chay cut himself off, his breath catching on a sudden swirl of emotion in his throat.
Kim’s grip on him tightened and he felt him press a kiss into his temple.
“Didn’t like what, angel?”
Chay took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He had never said this out loud to anyone.
“I loved our old house. And I miss it. A lot, sometimes. I know it’s not as fancy as here, but it was ours. But I hated being there alone.” Chay swallowed around the lump in his throat.
Kim moved then, shuffling slightly down the bed and turning on his side so he was eye level with Chay, who turned his head and raised his eyes to meet his boyfriend’s. Kim didn’t say anything, but Chay could tell by the look he was giving him that Kim understood what he was saying.
Chay had realised a while ago that Kim had his own opinion on Porsche moving to the mansion and Chay being left on his own, but he had never voiced it and honestly, Chay didn’t need to hear it. It wasn’t like he could change his mind. Kim was always going to be protective of Chay - it’s just how they were, and Chay liked it that way. He’d never say it out loud, but he liked being minded. He liked being taken care of and not feeling like he was a burden, or an obligation. He was working on it, but sometimes he felt like Porsche would be happier if he didn’t have Chay to worry about.
Kim slowly untangled his hand from Chay’s where it rested between them and moved it to wrap around Chay’s middle before pulling him closer. He still didn’t say anything, but he did lift his chin and kiss Chay softly, before pulling away and giving him a gentle smile.
Chay smiled back, accepting the gesture as the apology it was, before he spoke again.
“I think – I think I’d probably be lonely? If I was going home to an empty apartment after school a lot.”
Kim hummed in acknowledgement, in a way that suggested to Chay that he had really thought this through and agreed with him.
“I think so too,” he said, smiling slightly.
“Ok, so…is that it? Is that what you wanted to say?”
“No,” Kim replied.
“What?” Chay couldn’t help the laugh that he let out at Kim’s response. “How did we end up here then?!”
Kim rolled his eyes at himself before rolling back slightly on his shoulder and running a hand across his eyes and up through his hair.
When he finally looked back at Chay he was chuckling to himself a little.
“I did have something to ask you. And it is living situation related. But then the thoughts just…spiralled,” he said.
“Okay…so what is it?” Chay asked.
“I was thinking that maybe you could move in here?”
“Swap rooms?” Chay asked, confused.
Kim tore his eyes away from Chay’s for a split second and his tongue darted out to wet his lips, nervously. He swallowed before looking back at Chay and meeting his boyfriend’s gaze that was wide open and waiting, not a hint of expectation.
Kim couldn’t help but feel distinctly vulnerable. Logically, he knew Chay was going to say yes to his suggestion. Logically, he knew that it made sense to introduce a half-step in the progression of their relationship. Chay was just eighteen after all, and Kim hadn’t lived with anyone since he left the room that they were currently lying in.
But emotionally? Realistically? Kim was freaking out. He’d never gotten this far in a relationship before. He’d never even been the one to move things along. He’d always been the one with a foot out the door, ready to make the quickest exit possible when the other person suggested taking whatever they were doing to the next stage. But with Chay, he wanted it. It made his insides squirm. It made him feel like he was standing on a cliff edge.
Kim eventually took a deep breath and jumped off his metaphorical cliff.
“No, not like that. I thought that maybe we could make this room our room? I mean, I’ve been staying here a couple of times a week since we got together, right? So, I thought you could stay in it all the time, and we’d stay in it together when I’m here. Instead of me just staying over in your room. And we could both have all our stuff in here, and I – I don’t know - make it ours? And you can bring more stuff to the apartment too for when you stay there - if you want to.” Kim’s voice tapered off at the end, anxiety creeping back into his voice.
Chay, on the other hand, wasn’t feeling the least bit anxious. In fact, he couldn’t stop the wide smile that broke out across his face as Kim finally managed to tease out what he’d been trying to say all along.
“I love that idea,” he said.
Kim’s eyes widened at his response.
“You do?” He asked, like he was surprised by Chay’s answer.
“Yes! Wait, did you think I’d say no?” Chay asked, disbelievingly.
“Well, no. But then – spiralling thoughts.”
Chay just smiled back at him, before leaning forward to kiss him again.
“So, the boxes? You’re clearing stuff out?” He asked eventually.
“Yeah, I haven’t lived here since I was sixteen, so I figured on top of you needing space, it was probably time to go through it all,” Kim answered, now totally relaxed. Which meant that he didn’t miss the cheeky grin that took over his boyfriend’s face.
“What?”
“Just how long have you been thinking about this?” Chay asked him, in a tone that suggested he knew just how much thought Kim had put into this.
Kim sighed, resigned.
“I don’t know, a couple of weeks?”
Chay beamed at him, knowing what that actually meant. Kim was a details person. A minute details person. He had the conspiracy board to prove it.
“You’re cute,” he said.
“Excuse me?” Kim replied, thoroughly offended. “I absolutely am not cute.”
“You are! So, so cute!” Chay giggled delightedly.
“I’ll show you cute,” Kim huffed out, and the next second he was hovering over Chay again, smothering his face and down his neck with kisses as Chay squealed in response and pretended to try and push him off him.
*
A few hours later found Kim and Chay standing over the desk under the window, going through a pile of Kim’s papers. They had been sitting on the floor going through the boxes, but after having a picnic dinner on the bed, Chay’s ribs needed a break, so they had moved to the desk.
Chay was now having the time of his life going through Kim’s old manuscripts and reading out some of the lyrics he’d written as a teenager.
“I don’t know to feel about how much enjoyment you’re getting out of my teenage angst,” Kim huffed but Chay knew there was no seriousness in it.
“Please,” Chay scoffed. “I can relate. You were only a couple of years younger than I am now when you wrote this.”
“You know I’m not that much older than you, right?”
“Hmm,” Chay said. “Funny how you act like it though.”
“Hey!” Kim said back, affronted, causing Chay to giggle.
They were interrupted from their verbal sparring by a knock on the door. They looked up to see Kinn and Porsche standing there, both taking in the chaos that surrounded Kim and Chay with wide eyes.
“Hia, hi!” Chay said, always happy to see his brother. Porsche beamed back at Chay.
Kim merely nodded at his own brother. His brother merely nodded back at him.
Porsche glanced at Kim quickly for permission and when he received a nod, moved into the room, navigating his way around the obstacle course of boxes towards the other couple, Kinn following him.
It didn’t escape Kim that his brother hadn’t looked for the same permission to come in as Porsche had but he tried not to let it get to him. Kinn was trying. They both were. Sure, they were trying under the heavy influence and guidance of their boyfriends, but the point is that they were.
“When you didn’t come down to dinner, I asked N’Pure and she said you’d asked for dinner to be brought up here,” Porsche said by way of explanation for their sudden appearance.
That was another development since the Kittisawats had landed in the compound. Kim didn’t think he’d ever, not once, heard a member of his family refer to any household staff by their names, with the exception of a small circle of bodyguards. But Chay and his brother were just so - nice. Kim was trying to be better at that too.
“Kinn said it was weird because you haven’t set foot in this room in years, so here we are to see what’s happening,” Porsche just smiled at him, while Kinn rolled his eyes in exasperation, fond as it was.
Kim just snorted. Leave it to Porsche to bulldoze his way through what could have been a potentially awkward conversation for Kinn. He could only guess that Kinn had been baffled to hear that Kim was in his old room but didn’t know how to ask him about it. Fuck knows he didn’t know how to talk to Kinn anymore either.
“Well?” Porsche said, when neither Chay nor Kim answered. Kim because he was lost in thought, Chay because he was still giggling to himself flipping through one of Kim’s old manuscripts.
Flicking his gaze back to Porsche, Kim hesitated. He had no problem in theory with Porsche knowing what he and Chay had decided to do with regards to their living situation, but his brother’s presence was throwing him off.
He swallowed nervously, looking up at Kinn only to find him looking back at him with an expression that suggested he felt similarly out of his depth.
Thankfully Chay - his sweet, precious, angel - decided to intervene.
“Hia, you’ll help me move, right?” Chay asked his brother happily.
Kim choked on his breath.
“I’ll help you what now?” Porsche’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. Kinn was now looking between the three of them with wide eyes.
“Move!” Chay confirmed, still smiling. Kim didn’t even think he was acting oblivious. He was actually that happy about this development. It made Kim feel warm all over and he couldn’t help the small smile that crept onto his face. A quick glance at Kinn though, who was looking at him challengingly with raised eyebrows, did enough to bring him back to the situation at hand. Which was Porsche’s rapidly increasing blood pressure.
Kinn had also moved slightly so he was standing behind Porsche with his hand on his shoulder. Kim wasn’t sure if it was there to comfort Porsche, or to hold him back if necessary. Kim supposed he could take some comfort in the fact that his brother probably didn’t want Porsche to kill him. Because he wasn’t dumb enough not to realise that if Porsche was unhappy with the latest development in their relationship, it was absolutely going to be Kim’s fault.
“You are not leaving this compound,” Porsche said firmly to Chay, and Kim couldn’t help but raise his eyes at the tone, his spine straightening as he took a half step in front of Chay.
“Hey…”
“Of course not,” Chay interrupted, not reacting to Porsche’s tone at all and seemingly unaware of the sudden tension in the room.
“Then what…”
“I’m moving in here! Kim figured I wouldn’t want to leave you, and he was right, but we want to have our own space, you know? A room that’s ours. So, I’m going to move in here and then it can be our room when Kim stays here,” Chay explained excitedly. It wasn’t lost on Kim how Chay framed the conversation they had had to his older brother. His boyfriend was definitely aware of the tension in the room.
“Oh, okay,” Porsche responded quietly, Chay’s response knocking him off his axis slightly.
“When did you decide this then?” Kinn asked.
“Today!” Chay answered again. “Kim was very cute about it.”
Kim spluttered, knocked out of his thoughts.
“I was not!”
“Were you now?” Kinn asked, bringing his hands to his hips now that the danger of Porsche lunging at Kim was gone. The teasing in his tone was almost tangible. It made Kim want to throttle him. In fact -
“I’ll shoot you,” Kim growled at him in response.
“Oh, Kim!” Chay interrupted Kim’s glaring match with his brother, effectively saving Kinn from imminent death. He kept glaring at his brother anyway.
“Can I show Porsche your records?”
“Hmm? Oh yeah, of course,” Kim finally broke his gaze from Kinn’s and turned to smile at Chay, who quickly spun on his heel and pulled his brother into the sitting room where Kim had moved the boxes of his records earlier.
“You’ll love these, Hia, Kim has so many. Some of the same ones Dad had too…” Kim smiled as Chay’s voice faded as he moved into the other room.
‘So…”
Right. Kinn was still here.
“So what? Kim asked, practically huffing and crossing his arms across his chest.
“Hey, I’m just here to see what’s happening, okay? Kinn replied, holding his hands up defensively.
“Okay…” Kim replied doubtfully.
“But…”
And there it was. Kim sighed and threw his head back so he was looking at the ceiling and started to count to ten.
“For fuck’s sake, relax Kim, it’s nothing bad,” Kinn snapped.
Kim looked back at his brother and merely raised an eyebrow at him. It was Kinn’s turn to take a deep breath.
“What I was going to say was, it will be good to have you back here more often.” Kinn finished the sentence on a whisper.
“What?” Kim couldn’t help the disbelieving look he was sure was plastered across his face.
Kinn just shrugged at him. Silence fell over the brothers again, neither knowing quite what to say. They could hear rumblings from the other room, but not enough to actually discern what their respective boyfriends were saying.
It was Kinn who broke the silence a few minutes later.
“You know, Mom’s piano is still in the attic?” Kinn said, not looking at Kim. In fact, he was resolutely looking anywhere but at Kim.
“What?” Kim’s breath caught in his throat. Unlike his brother, his eyes were locked on Kinn.
Kinn shrugged before responding, his eyes still shifting about the room.
“Yeah. It would probably do it some good to be brought down to a room with some natural light. Maybe have it tuned, have someone play it again.” Kim watched as his brother took a deep breath before he finally turned and looked back at him. There was a wistful look on his face that Kim hadn’t seen before. But then, Kinn had been a musician too, once. Before the weight of the family had been transferred from Khun’s shoulders to his.
Kim was struck by a memory all of a sudden. He’d been young, not quite a teenager. Still naïve to the worst parts of the business, especially naïve to the role that awaited him once he got older. He’d asked Kinn why he didn’t play anymore. Kim couldn’t imagine not playing music – he would play all day if he could. Which worked out because his music teacher had started using words like ‘gifted’ and ‘prodigy’ when she spoke about him which made Kim flush with pride. He didn’t understand how Kinn could stop playing just because he had a job now. Kinn had just smiled at him sadly and told him that he’d have to grow up some day too. The next day, Kim had watched as the household staff boxed up Kinn’s instruments, music books and manuscripts and moved them to the attic.
Kim hadn’t made the connection before, but he wondered now if that conversation was part of the reason he had been so determined to make his music career happen, despite everything. He also wondered if it was also why Kinn had gone to bat for him with their father so that Kim could leave the house to pursue his career as Wik.
“If you have room in here, maybe you could move it into your sitting room?” Kinn asked him quietly, pulling him from his thoughts.
Kim swallowed.
“Really?”
Kinn’s eyes widened slightly at his response, and Kim realised a second too late that his brother was probably reacting to the tears that had suddenly appeared in his eyes.
Shit.
Kim looked back to the ceiling, blinking several times and swallowed harshly in an effort to centre himself again. The side effect of his commitment to being open and vulnerable with his boyfriend was apparently the softening of his defences with his brother. Kim-Before-Chay would never in a million years have let Kinn, or anyone, witness any display of emotion or vulnerability.
When he looked back at Kinn, tears and emotion successfully shoved back down, it was to find his brother smiling softly at him.
“I’ll have it brought down when you’re ready for it,” he said.
“Thank you,” Kim said, his voice no more than a whisper.
All of a sudden, Kim felt arms wrap around his waist from behind, and a head rest on his left shoulder. Kim lifted his left hand to Chay’s hair and turned his face slightly so he could see his boyfriend, only to find him smiling softly at him. Kim couldn’t help but kiss him quickly. His lips were right there.
“What’s up, angel?” Slightly concerned at the sheen in his boyfriend’s eyes, even though he was pretty sure there was nothing actually wrong.
Chay confirmed his theory with a small shrug and a smile before answering.
“I may have caught the end of your conversation about the piano. Sorry.” He looked a little guilty at that.
Kim just breathed out a gentle laugh, smiling at Chay.
“I would have told you anyway,” he said.
“I know,” Chay smiled back, leaning in to kiss Kim again.
“Ugh, can you not? Too much kissing by little brothers unsettles me,” Porsche said from where he was now standing back beside Kinn, holding his brother’s hand tightly.
His tone was teasing but Kim resolved to ignore him anyway. They were in his room after all. No. They were in their room. The thought made Kim positively giddy.
“Oh, leave them alone, Porsche. They’re cute.”
Kim’s head snapped towards his brother as Chay let out a loud laugh over his shoulder.
“Get out,” Kim snapped.
“What? You are!”
Kim practically leapt across the gap separating him from his brother, but Kinn was too quick, pushing Porsche in front of him before sprinting from the room.
“For fuck’s sake, you little…”
Porsche just laughed at him lightly before following his boyfriend out the door.
“You know, you could at least pretend to be on my side?” Kim said as he spun on Chay.
Chay just giggled at him in response. His cheeks were flushed, and Kim followed his hand with his eyes as Chay raised it to his face to sweep some of his hair back off his forehead.
Fuck, he was so beautiful.
“Oh, you think it’s funny, do you?” Kim said, his voice dropping and his eyes narrowing as he all but stalked towards Chay.
Chay’s eyes widened slightly at the sudden change in the atmosphere, and he backed himself into the desk. He nodded slightly, biting his lower lip, as he watched Kim close the distance between them from beneath his eyelashes.
You know exactly what you’re doing to me, Kim thought.
“Hmm?” Kim persisted, placing his hands on the desk on either side of Chay’s hips, nudging his nose against his. They were so close; he could feel their breath mingling between their lips as he pressed his whole body against Chay’s and slotted a leg between his boyfriend’s legs. Chay’s hands landed on Kim’s chest before he moved them up and around to loop around his neck. He put the tiniest amount of pressure on Kim’s neck, causing him to bring his face even closer to Chay’s so there was barely a millimetre between them.
Kim’s breath caught, the air between their lips crackling, and Kim could feel his want for Chay tighten in his chest before it swooped down low into his belly.
“Kim,” Chay breathed out.
Kim practically growled in response. He grabbed Chay under his thighs, ready to lift him, but then hesitated before moving.
“How are your ribs?” He whispered.
Chay rolled his eyes slightly.
“They’re fine, just keep me upright,” he said against Kim’s lips.
“I think I can work with that.”
And proceeded to do just that.