Chapter Text
Weekend lunch dates with her boys. It was their tradition. Had been for years. Each Saturday and Sunday she would take one of her sons out to eat one day, then the other on the next. It was their way of getting some special time where they had her all to themselves–no work, chores, siblings, or other distractions getting in the way. It had started back when she and Warren were in the middle of the divorce proceedings as a way to give the kids a space to connect and relax. Be around their parents without all the pressures present at home. Back then she would take one child out while Warren took the other and the process would be repeated the next day (with a little bit of kid swapping). It had become much harder to sustain after Warren’s passing, what with her taking more hours at work, Terry getting a job and suddenly needing to arrange for a babysitter when leaving Matt at the apartment.
This week was different though.
It was different because, for the first time in almost a year, she hadn’t needed to arrange for childcare. Dick had volunteered before she could even ask.
She had been touched, but she hadn’t been surprised. Dick was just that kind of guy (yes, despite the name).
Terry had been a little less thrilled, but his desire for lunch outweighed his knee-jerk distaste. Mary still used it as a segue though. They’d both known this topic was coming for quite a while.
“I noticed you weren’t happy about my choice of babysitter today. What do you think of Dick? And don’t try to please me with your answer, I won’t be mad,” she said after they’d settled down with their ice cream waffles at one of the tables opposite to the waffle stand. Ones that overlooked the lines of tracks below in this metro station that had been just a transfer in their route home until she’d spotted dessert.
Terry snorted into his waffle. She realized too late how she’d worded her question and rolled her eyes, which only made him snicker harder.
“Well,” he began in his most twipish tone, “I can’t say I’m opposed, exactly, but I do-”
“Aigo, you know what I meant,” she huffed, letting go of her treat to lightly cuff the back of his head. “Who let you get away with this kind of attitude, ah?”
“Tch- you.”
“Wrong answer, Tae Woong,” she declared, liberating a cherry from his fruit, cream and chocolate topped waffle.
“Hey!” he reached an arm over the table to try and retaliate, but she’d already turned in her seat to hold her prize out of reach. “Eomma!” he whined indignantly. She froze at just the right angle to give him perfect view of her revenge, so maybe the claim wasn’t totally baseless.
“Alright, I mean it this time,” she said around the cherry. “What do you think of Richard Grayson? You know, your eomma’s new boyfriend? You’re my kid, your opinion matters to me very much.”
Normally Terry had very little issue with being direct. It was one of his strengths, but also one of his weaknesses. She couldn’t count the amount of times it had gotten him in trouble, nor the amount of times it had led to him helping someone. Whether she was wary or proud of it depended on which outcome it had wrought recently, though she had to admit it was another trait he’d inherited from her.
Right now, however, he was stalling. He took his time inspecting his waffle for the perfect bite, then took his time chewing it. She let him formulate an answer uninterrupted, as antsy as it made her. Plus, she told the still impatient part of her brain, it was rare for him to not inhale his food like a starved man. What kind of eomma would she be if she discouraged this?
“I don’t really, well. It’s not that I dislike Mister Grayson…” here he glanced up to gauge her reaction.
She smiled and nodded, already aware of his conflicted feelings. Terry wasn’t one to cordially consort with people he disliked. Or sit down and accept work advice from people he disliked. Or, heaven forbid, leave his precious baby brother in the care of people he disliked. There were tense looks and hesitant smiles, but he was clearly trying. Compared to how he’d reacted to the last few dates she’d been on, he was trying very hard. She just wanted to know why it was difficult for him in the first place. She had a strong guess, of course. It hadn’t been easy for him when she and Warren had split, and his appa’s death had only served to further separate him from those comforting simple times. It was common for children of divorce to have trouble with their parents finding new partners, so she didn’t blame him. The opposite really. It wasn’t his fault that he’d been unplanned, or that his eomma and appa had gotten together before they were old enough to know what they wanted in a marriage. She felt guilty for forcing him to bear the emotional backlash that had stemmed from their poor decision making, and she wanted to do everything in her power to make sure it didn’t happen again.
“It’s just that, I, um,” she felt him begin to bounce his leg incessantly. He wasn’t aware that he’d rested his foot on top of hers when they’d sat and she hadn’t felt the need to inform him. Under his breath he muttered to himself, “Oh what the slag,” before continuing at a normal volume, “Mister Grayson’s a nice guy and all, but I already watched you go through a bad heartbreak once and…” he shrugged, “I don’t want you to have to go through something like that again.”
“Oh,” she said softly, and ‘oh’ was right. How could she have just been thinking about his drive to help others yet forget it applied to her too? “Terry…”
“I know, I know, I’m not the boss of you,” he said quickly, ducking his head in supplication. “I overstepped that time with the Noah guy, I’m sorry–even though I was right–” he cut himself off with a hasty pause. “So this isn’t me trying to say you can’t date him or anything, but…”
She wrapped a hand around one of his. They used to be smaller than hers, back in the day. It took her a moment to realize that had been before the divorce. Was that how long he’d been carrying around this worry? One that wasn’t his to carry in the first place?
“I’m glad Matt likes him. I’m glad he tries so hard to do so much for us, especially you. You deserve someone who’ll treat you nice, and I can’t remember the last time you got to go out and have fun so often, so no. I don’t dislike Mister Grayson. I’m just,” he sighed. “Scared of what could happen again because of him.”
Her waffle was already drooping towards the table, but now she set it down completely. Who cared if it melted? That wasn’t important right now. She was out of her chair and beside her son the next instant. They came together for a hug.
Unlike Matt, Terry had been old enough to both remember and comprehend the weight of his front row seat to the slow deterioration of his parent’s relationship. She knew he hadn’t taken it well, simultaneously lashing out and drawing away into the range where the likes of Charlie Bigalow could reach him. She also knew that his protectiveness had increased because of it. Looking back she felt absolutely awful for missing it at the time; the way he’d take Matt out to the park until sundown, or take care of the toddler’s bedtime when he could tell they’d been fighting, or a thousand other little things that she’d been too preoccupied with her own problems to notice. Things that blindsided her when he’d occasionally admit to them. Like this. Like now.
She’d never meant to make her kids miserable. To be the thing that made their lives harder. Yet she’d become that. They both had, her and Warren. She knew he felt just as bad about it as she did–or, well, he had.
That thought was the tipping point for the tears already threatening to spill.
“Tae Woong-a, baby,” she choked, quietly to keep from making a scene. “It's sweet that you look out for me, but I'm an adult. My emotions are my responsibility. You don't have to worry so much.”
His shoulders tensed. This was another thing she’d overlooked, wasn’t it?
She doesn’t let go until he's relaxed again.
When she does he tries to wipe away tear tracks before she notices, but she did. The breath he lets out when she moves his hand and wipes them herself shudders, and her heart shudders with it.
The ice cream has soaked into their previously forgotten waffles, but they eat them anyway. Savoring the flavor and toppings if nothing else, sitting side by side on a chair too small to accommodate them both.
The train they were supposed to take rumbles on out of the station. Terry drops his head onto her shoulders and she decides they can take the next one.
The next time he speaks it’s almost a surprise, but not all at once. The silence had done its job.
“I never answered your question,” he says.
“Hmm?” she brushes stray hair out of his face. It was getting long. Did he want to grow it out?
“I think Mister Grayson’s pretty alright.”
She smiles. That was a high endorsement of a partner, coming from him.
“He’s like, nice and stuff. And helpful. He keeps doing my chores while I’m at work no matter how much I tell him I can handle it. And he’s way better at explaining homework to Matt than I am. You two work together well too. The house feels less stressed. And don’t get me wrong I love–” she doesn’t miss the way his eyes squeeze shut when he realizes his misstep, “loved appa, and I’m not ready to think about anyone else filling his role, but I don’t want to stop you from being happy. I don’t mind him sticking around.”
She presses a kiss to the top of his head.
“Okay, baby. Thank you for telling me.”
His snuggling closer is answer enough.
She’s sure Dick won’t mind watching Matt for a while longer. It’s just the kind of guy he is (and boy is she glad she found him).