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Harry Potter was having a no good, very bad morning. First, he tripped on his way to the bathroom, knocked over a chair and woke his very pregnant, somewhat (adorably, of course) irate wife.
After getting yelled at by said, gorgeous, in no way overreacting wife, he had to stop a fight over bacon between his sons that resulted in a messy kitchen, two tear-streaked faces and a pounding headache.
And lastly, Hermione, who was supposed to babysit, was late. Which, if you know Hermione, was at best worrying and at worst, the start of the apocalypse.
So, Harry left his children on the floor in front of the Floo, and stepped through to Hermione‘s flat.
„Hermione?“
Three things happened in quick succession after his call: a gasp, a thump and a muffled curse in a distinctly male voice. Harry drew his wand.
„Hermione, if you don’t show your face in two seconds, I’m blasting this door opened.“
„No! I’m fine, just getting dressed!“
Well, it did sound like Hermione.
She emerged with 0.25 seconds to spare, dressed in a pair of joggers obviously too large, and a t-shirt, also obviously too large.
„Harry. Hi. Is everything alright?“-There was a strained smile on her face.
“What school rule did you break in second year and what happened to you as a consequence?“
She blinked, confused.
„I brewed Polyjuice and turned myself into a cat. What’s going on? Are Ginny and the boys-„ Her eyes got wide as saucers. „Oh Merlin, the boys! I’m so sorry! Let me just get properly dressed and I’ll be there in a second!“
„Hermione.“
„Yes?“
„Your shirt is upside down, your pants don’t belong to you and your hair looks like you got electrocuted. Are you alright?“
See, Hermione didn‘t blush. Or, if she did, you couldn’t notice. But, she did get a particular frown in between her eyebrows when she got nervous and had a specific tick where- Ah.
As if on cue, her left hand started rolling the edge of her t-shirt.
“I’m fine, i just overslept. And you know i like comfy clothes, i just started buying men’s.”She turned and slipped through her bedroom door, but that unfortunate decision left her left leg just a fraction of a second too long in Harry’s view.
“Hermione, i think you should bring whoever you’re hiding in that bed outside so i know you’re not being kidnapped.”
Or, you know, so he could see who it was and make his adorable, perfect, not irritable wife happy with new gossip.
“What? There’s no one here, I’m getting dressed, give me a second! You’re being very weird this morning, Harry.”
She re-emerged, this time in her own clothes.
“Mhm. Your joggers said Slytherin down on one side, your concealment charm didn’t work, that is a hickey, and there are men’s dragonhide boots by the door.” He felt a grin forming.
“Expensive ones.”
Hermione’s face went through a series of emotions, but the door of her bedroom opened again before she could figure out her lie.
“You’re a terrible liar, Granger. Good morning, Potter.”
She sputtered.
“Morning, Malfoy. Wanna come to breakfast and babysitting?”
Malfoy’s hair flopped over his face when he turned to Hermione, who was frozen and gaping.
“Granger?”
“I-…What?”
“He is asking if he can help you babysit the boys.”
She turned back to Harry, her fingers developing impressive speed at the edge of her tshirt. Malfoy disappeared.
“That’s it? You’re not gonna say ANYTHING?”
“Hermione, he’s right, you’re a horrible liar. And he can’t keep his eyes off of you. I’ve known since your birthday when you both disappeared and came back disheveled. We’ve just been waiting for you to tell us.”
“What do you mean, you’ve known?! I have been so careful!”
“How many times can a person burn themselves with a hair straightener when their hair is always curly?” She opened her mouth and closed it again.
“That’s fair.”
“Mhm. Now, let’s go make my wife’s morning better.”
“Hey, any chance you could talk to Ron about this?”
“Nope.”
“Damn it.”