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Langa never got much physical affection as a child.
Outside of his parents, he’d always hated it when others would touch him. He never wanted hugs from classmates or to play handshake games. He resented the feeling of unfamiliar skin on his own especially, but sometimes even the touch of his family made him go tense inside.
Its not that he didn’t like the people in question, he just didn’t like touch.
There was just always something about it that would set him off. Sometimes it was manageable and sometimes it just wasn’t.
And that never changed ever since he was a child. Or at least he’d assumed that was the case.
But then he met Reki. And he wasn’t one for keeping his hands to himself.
At first, Langa would stiffen when he tossed an arm around his shoulder or grabbed his wrist to lead him somewhere, he never accepted hands to help him up or keep him balanced. Because he thought he didn’t like it.
All his life he’d hated it.
So… why was he so relaxed right now?
He and Reki had been watching videos mindlessly on his bed, just like they always did. Close, but not close enough to risk the brushing of shoulders or knocking of knees. But then Reki’s phone had slipped from his hand and his body went slack and his head was on his shoulder-
His immediate instinct told him to jump away, but some foreign part of him refused to move. Some unknown piece of his mind was telling him to just sit and feel for the first time in the months of knowing this boy.
And the results shook him. Startled him.
Because there was no discomfort, no disgust, no overwhelming need to get away. He was… perfectly fine.
Here he was, Langa, the weird kid who cried when teachers held his hand. The oblivious dude who didn’t know how to act when a girl grabbed his arm. The new guy who went all stiff when his only friend hugged him. Langa Hasegawa, who carried the same distant air around him his entire life, was sitting with a friend’s head on his shoulder without a single problem with it.
Above all else he was confused. Very confused. He had so many questions building up in his head and he couldn’t find answers to a single one.
He glanced down at Reki, slumped peacefully beside him with his arms limp between them. Was it because their skin wasn’t touching? But even just the pressure of hands on top of fabric had always made him cringe. Yet he still wondered.
His eyes trailed down to Reki’s hand, free and open. Daunting and welcoming at the same time.
He wanted to know, but he feared every answer he might receive. What if he hated it? What if he recoiled and confirmed what he was already supposed to know? And what if he was fine with it? What did that say about his relationship with touch as a whole?
Hesitantly, with a shaky hand, he reached out. He slowly ghosted his fingers across Reki’s palm, pulling away as soon as contact was made. Sit and feel, he had to remind himself.
So he pressed his fingertips to that base of Reki’s wrist and kept them there. And again… nothing. He had no burning need to draw his hand back. His hand was now trembling, really trembling, and he slid his fingers down his hand until their palm were connected. He’s waited and sure enough, nothing.
Still unsatisfied, he fully gripped Reki’s hand, slotting their fingers together. He was holding his hand. And he was terrified. Because he didn’t just not hate it. It wasn’t just tolerable. He…
He liked it. He really liked it.
The way Reki’s hand naturally folded against his, the way he could feel the gentle beating of his pulse at his wrist, the way it was warm. It was a kind of warmth he’d never felt before.
Reki was so, so warm.
He couldn’t stand it anymore. There were too many thoughts in his head and feeling in his chest, it was too much. Way to much. And he hated that it was Reki’s touch that made him so overwhelmed.
He slipped his hand out of his and nudged him so his head leaned the opposite way. When he didn’t wake up, he stood with tan itching urgency to even out the sensations in his body.
He crouched helplessly to the floor, wrapping his arms around his chest, desperately attempting to calm his roaring heart. For the first time in a very, very long time, he needed something to hold. To squeeze all of this sudden pent up energy into.
He never thought he’d need that stupid stuffed polar bear that his dad had given him when he was little. The bear that he’d hug because he could stand to hug another person but still needed one. Now, it was somewhere tucked in a box of other things to remember him by, just as out of reach as his memories.
Still desperate, he spots the obnoxious snow yeti plushy -that a certain redhead made for him bare days ago- sitting at the base of his bed. He stumbled toward it, scooping it into his arms and squeezing all his panic and confusion out of himself.
He stayed standing, leaning against the wall with the yeti in his arms, taking in deep breathes, holding them in, and letting them out. Once he was calmer, wanted to figure himself out, but also wanted to do anything but think about this.
He slid down to the floor, burying his face in the mess of white fluff. He breathed in, realizing how it still smelled like Reki and the cheap fabric paint he uses to recreate designs from board onto hoodies. It was so Reki.
It made him wonder what it would feel like to hug him too.
—-
That night after Reki had gone home, he couldn’t figure out how to bring it up.
Because really, how was he supposed to tell her that ten or so years of withholding affection for his son was maybe for nothing? Instead, after dinner, in the kitchen helping her clean up the remains of their meal, he asks her.
“Mom?” He mumbled.
She hummed, seeming a tad concerned by his unsure tone. “Something the matter?”
He paused, looking away.
”Can I… have a hug?”
His mom stared at him wide eyed, as if trying to figure out if he was being serious or not.
”Of course, honey,” he exclaimed, looking confused but overjoyed. She opened up her arms, inviting him to touch her. And it took him aback to realize he didn’t know what to do.
Langa Hasegawa, at seventeen years old, didn’t know how to hug someone.
Quiet and sheepish, he inched forward, arms remaining awkwardly limp at his sides as he leaned into his mother’s chest. She immediately wrapped her arms around his back and he couldn’t help but jump a little.
She withdrew from him all too quickly but kept her arms on his shoulders. “Sweetie, are you alright?” She asked genuinely. Langa blinked, wondering the same thing.
Because he couldn’t seem to not want another hug from her. He didn’t hate it. He tried their hands.
He shakily lifted his mother’s hand off his shoulder, holding it gently in his own. And… it was warm. Not the same warmth as before, but still oddly comfortable.
It made his head hurt and his heart heavy.
”Mom?” He whispered quietly, dropping her hand. She hummed with concern, clasping her hand together anxiously. “What’s wrong with me?”
Her eyes flew open even wider than before. “What?? Langa, baby, there’s nothing wrong with you! What’s going on? Did something happen?” She immediately fussed over him, hands waving erratically in her panic. He wondered if mother’s with normal sons would be hugging them righ now.
”Why couldn’t I have grown up wanting you to hug me?” He murmured, staring down at his hands that feel so cold and alone. “Why can’t I just be a normal kid?”
His mom covered her lips, already having been drawn tight and narrow in a frown, and gazed at him with guilt and sorrow. “Langa, you don’t have to force yourself to want something you don’t. There nothing wrong with-“
”But I’m supposed to, aren’t I? I was supposed to want to be held by my parents, I was supposed to like my classmates hugs, I’m not supposed to feel every little difference!” He cried and felt tears forming in his eyes.
His mother’s brow furrowed and she looked more upset than he’s seen her in months. “Langa, you’re not supposed to be anything!” She shouts with frustration he knows isn’t pointed at him. “It doesn’t matter of you hate some things that other people don’t. It doesn’t matter if you’re the only one that understand your mind! You matter, Langa, that’s it!” She told him with the finality he remembered hearing when he’d ask similar questions back in Canada.
Mom, why do other kids hold each other’s hands?
Mom, why can’t I listen to the birds like other kids can?
Mom, why do the other kids say I talk weird?
Mom, why don’t other kids like me?
”You’re perfect, Langa. And I love every single part of you. Everything the rest of the world may find strange, I love from the bottom of my heart. Because you have an incredible, beautiful heart, and it doesn’t matter if you don’t understand certain feelings, or if you don’t like certain sounds, or if you can’t stomach touch from just anyone. None of it matters! You’re just my son, that’s all you’re supposed to be.”
He wished it didn’t take his mother’s tears to convince him.
So he hugs her this time, and for the first time in his life, it feels right.
—-
Ever since then, he’d been trying to figure out what he could handle.
He’d rest a hand on Miya’s shoulder after getting his attention. He’d reach out and grab Joe’s wrist before he could walk away if he needed to say something. He wouldn’t scoot away from Cherry if he held his shoulder to keep him from skating off.
And he found that with them, he didn’t hate it.
At school, a girl placed a hand around his arm and he didn’t move away. She got closer to him, fully linking their arms and leaning up toward him as she spoke. A guy gave him an awkward shoulder hug and spoke loud, teasing congratulations in his ear after she’d let him go to follow her friend.
And that?
That he really hated.
Enough became enough when another person entered the room and it was too loud, too much. He squirmed out of the unnamed boy’s grasp, hurrying out of the thundering room.
He found himself crumbling against a bathroom stall, wondering why. Why, why why did he have to feel like this?
His hyper aware mind honed in on the sound of the door opening and closing, footsteps nearing him, and finally halting outside the door. A gentle knock on the stall startled but didn’t surprise him.
”Langa, what happened? Are you okay?”
Ah. And then there’s Reki.
The one who’d shattered all his previous rules to begin with.
”m’fine,” he muttered in a voice as exhausted as his mind. Reki was quiet for a moment, presumably pondering what to do. “Overwhelmed?” He asked. Langa let out a shaky breath and stood up straight, unlocking and pushing up the stall door. “Yeah. Sorry,” he mumbled.
Reki’s hand rose as if to pat his shoulder, but it dropped once he thought better of it. “Hey, there’s no reason to apologize.” He didn’t respond. “School’s already out, wanna get out of here?”
He nodded, knowing words would onto make the pounding in his head that much worse.
He blinks and somehow they’re outside. “My place or yours?” Reki asks him. He thought about it for a second, quietly deciding that his own empty house would be too quiet. “Yours.”
His friend grins at him, and to Langa’s surprise start walking, not skating. “You don’t want to skate there?” He asks, confused. Reki shrugs. “I figured you might need some fresh air. Relax a little.”
Dear lord is Langa blessed.
“You’re the best, Reki,” he says, honest and earnest and finally smiling because wow, he really was the best. He was pretty sure he and his mother were the only people in the world that attuned to his needs.
Reki smiled, cheeks a pleasant rosy color. “Of course, man.”
They walked to together in a peaceful quiet only broken by Reki’s gentle humming. “What song is stuck in your head?” He asked curiously, a fond smile tugging at his lips. “Let Me Make You Proud,” he snorted. “Who’s it by?” He tilted his head, having never heard of it before.
”Well, Jeremy Jordan sings it, but it’s from Tangled,” he admitted, a little embarrassed. Langa frowned. “With how many time you’ve made me watch that movie I feel like I’d remember that.” Reki snickered, “no, not the movie. The series. You know, with Varian? He’s the one singing?”
”You never told me this existed,” Langa deadpans, a little disappointed he’s been missing out on something Reki seemed to really like. Reki blinked. “We’ll I know what we’re doing when we get home.”
True to his word, Reki sat him down and they binge watched nearly ten episodes of this adorable little Disney series. And it almost surprised him how refreshed he felt. Almost.
Because this was Reki we were talking about. A genius on everything Langa. He knew how to make him feel better in a matter of seconds, no matter what confusing emotion he was feeling.
”Thank you,” he caught his attention with a grateful smile. “Huh? For what?” He giggled, knocking their shoulders together playfully. A sudden spark shot through Langa that he couldn’t begin to explain.
He shrugged. ”For always helping me. You always know how to make me feel better.” Reki’s eyes softened and a sweet smile took over his face. “Of course. You always do the same for me, it’s the least I can do.”
—-
Langa had no desire to experiment with his touch issues anymore. He knew damn well what he didn’t mind and what he couldn’t stand.
But… then there’s Reki. Yet again. The constant exception to every rule in his book.
He’d been trying to figure him out. Or figure himself out he supposed.
He’d do little things like reciprocating the playful side hugs he’d give, grab his arm to lead him somewhere, bandage his injuries when he bailed instead of the other way around. But the results were always the same. Warm, warm, warm.
Reki always made him feel warm inside.
He was beginning to wonder how different touches would feel.
It was an odd mixture of fear and excitement, the same kind of feeling he gets every time he skates in S. The same feeling that always had him coming back for more.
Which is why while watching Reki tinkering away at his work bench, he decided to be bold.
”Reki, it’s nearly two am. I’m tired,” he complained, leaning forward in a such a way that his face was halfway in the way of the wheels he was working on.
”Then go to bed, sleepy beauty,” Reki scoffed, leaning to see around him. “Rekiiii,” he whined and shoved his shoulder. “I’m almost done! Just gimme like, twenty minutes.” Langa pouted at him. “Funny, you said that twenty minutes ago,” he grumbled sarcastically.
He rolled his eyes, pushing Langa out of the way. But he only swayed back, landing slumped against his side, face squished against his shoulder. And wow, this felt different.
It was one thing to be the target of Reki’s affection, but initiating real contact might actually kill him with how fast his heart is beating.
”Leave me be, you nerd,” he snorted, shifting to face him so he could actually use his arms to push Langa’s weight off him. But he was stubborn, staying limp against him. “Come ooonn,” Reki groaned, struggling to keep him off. He was actually pretty impressed that he was able to hold the majority of his weight considering he had twenty pounds on him and almost all of Reki’s muscle was in his lower body.
That being said, he was quick to give up, leaving Langa to flop right into his chest. His heart raced a million miles a minutes as he stared up at him from his collarbone. “You’re really gonna annoy me til’ I go to bed?”
”Yep,” he said, a little smug at his victory. Reki huffed and ruffled his hair so it stuck up in weird place just like his. “You win, dumbass.” Langa grinned and sat up, praying his face wasn’t as ready as he was sure it was. “Great, let’s go,” he stood up, tugging him by the arm.
”Okay, okay! Jeez, what’s up with you? Since when were you so clingy?” His voice was somewhere between teasing and pleased, as if his actions made him happy in whatever way. He was about to answer his question when he realized he had absolutely no clue.
Why was he being so clingy? Why did he want to touch Reki so badly? Why did it feel so good to hold him? To be held?
He didn’t know, and for the first time didn’t care either. All he knew was that Reki was sweet and all too warm, and he wanted every bit of him every second of every day.
But of course, all he did was shrug, and drag Reki back into the house.
—-
Langa really couldn’t get enough of him.
Every touch was intoxicating, leaving him desperate for more every time he was without it.
Now, he was always looking for an excuse to hold his hand or hug him tighter or lean against him. And it seemed as if Reki was doing the same.
”Langa I’m dying,” he complained, dramatically crumbling against the wall. “And why is that?” He asked, looking up from his homework with a fond hint to his words. “Calculus is why,” he whined, leaning over to try and look at Langa’s work, but he quickly snatched his notebook away with a stern look. “Don’t you dare, you know Shimizu-sensei will report us to the principal if we get the same answers wrong again.”
Reki whimpered and collapsed right into Langa’s lap and holy crap, holy crap, holy-
“Can’t you at least help me? Show a little sympathy here!” He sighed, pouting innocently up at Langa as if he wasn’t making his heart do cartwheels.
When he failed to respond, Reki grumbled and reached up, pinching his cheeks. “Please?” He pleads, giving him the patented Reki Puppy Dog Eyes.
He could feel himself blushing and he sighed. “Alright, fine. Which problem are you on.” Reki giggled in that sweet, lilting way, saying,“twenty-four, please.”
Helpless to this perfect boy, he walked him through the problem step by step. Which was rather difficult to do with Reki refusing to sit up(not that he’d ever want him to in the next lifetime and a half).
”Oooh,” Reki drawls after Langa finishes explaining. “It still makes no sense!” He sighed leaning against the wall he had his back to. “Could you even see what I was pointing at from down there?” He asked. Reki grinned, “Not at all.”
He huffed a breathy sort of half-laugh. “You’re impossible,” he scolded in the least scolding-tone known to man. Reki only laughed and took his paper from his hands. “You said stuff about ‘sin’s and fractions or something, right?” Langa huffed. “Please tell me you’re messing with me.”
Reki rolled his eyes. “Yes, I’m messing with you! How do you think I got through the first twenty-three problems??” He gave him an indignant frown. It was so painfully adorable having him look at him with that face from right below him. Seriously, how can he act so normal with his head rest on his thighs??
The urge to touch his face pulled at Langa’s nerves and he tried to ignore it, but Reki was pouting and poking his cheek, “Hello? Earth to Langa?” And he just couldn’t take it. He found his hand tracing slipping beneath his bangs and smooth them back away from his forehead. “I’m still here,” he sighed, trying not to get frustrated with this adorable, impossible, perfect boy.
Reki smiled up at him with a new softness, his face blooming with roseate color. “Mind going through it one more time?” Langa hummed, absentmindedly slipping his headband down so he could run his fingers through his shockingly soft hair. “I guess so,” he teasingly, drawing a laugh from the other.
And Langa would’ve have minded teaching him calculus for the rest of his life, just like this.
—-
“Langa, look!” Reki grabbed his arm, shaking him in his excitement. He followed his gaze, finding a shelf of assorted stuffed animals. His obsession with the cutesy toys never failed to make his heart jump with how cute it is. He followed him to the arranged mass of animals and Japanese mascots he vaguely recognized.
”Oh my- they have Pokémon I’m going to die-“ he gushed, selecting a Flareon plushy from the bunch of odd creatures. Langa will admit, he’d had a massive Pokémon phase as a kid. He could never get enough of the weird little virtual animals since he could never have an actual pet. After all, his dad was terribly allergic to both cats and dogs.
”Which one was your favorite?” He asked and he picked up a Glaceon. “I always like Sylveon as a kid. I thought it was funny how whenever I got one it was never a girl even though it looked so feminine. Maybe Pokémon is what kept me from becoming a misogynist.”
Langa snorted at the absurdity of his comment. “You? A misogynist?” Reki frowned. “Hey. You never know! Now which one was your favorite?” He thought about it for a second before lifting the stuffed animal in his hands. “Glaceon. I just really liked ice types. It’s a Canadian thing.”
Reki scoffed, “doubt it, you’re just a snow nerd.” Langa rolled his eyes as Reki checked the price tag. “Wha- 4500 yen?? You’re kidding.” He looked somewhat disappointed as he set the plush back on the shelf amd wandered off to check out the rest of the store. Langa glanced from Reki’s back to the Sylveons, and made a probably stupid decision.
He checked out quietly and soon they were back in the busy center of the mall.
They dragged each other through store after store, admiring things they were both far too broke to buy. Like a tool kit Reki spotted in the skate shop they never failed to stop at whenever they came here. “Why do I have to work minimum wage,” he whined as he left empty handed. “Because your a high schooler and work at a skate shop. Not exactly the most promising pay check.”
Reki glared at him, elbowing him in the stomach. “Shut up, we work at the same place, moron.” Langa shrugged, holding back an ‘I wasn’t the one complaining about it’ to avoid a petty, lighthearted squabble. “Well is there anywhere else you wanted to go? We can probably make it before the mall closes.”
He shook his head with a sunny smile. “Naw, it’s already late and my mom expects us back by,” he check his phone and startles, “half an hour ago!” Without warning, Reki seized his hand tugging him in the direction of the exit. “Wha-“ he sputtered to for a moment, confused. His mom didn’t really seem like the type to be strict about curfews. Especially since it was only ten or so.
“Are we really in that much of a hurry?” He asked as he was forced to speed-walk to keep up with their conjoined hands. “My mom’s not serious about much, but getting him on time is definitely one of those things! When you’ve got four kids, it’s pretty important to keep them all in check!” He explained over his shoulder.
Well that made some level of sense and he wasn’t really complaining about the hand holding.
When they finally made it back, Reki’s mom was waiting with crossed arms and a pout that Langa was certain Reki inherited. “You were supposed to be home an hour ago! And you weren’t answering your phone! Do you realize the stress you kids cause me?” She scolded with more concern than hostility.
Reki shrunk, hanging his head with shame. “I’m sorry, my phone was on silent and I completely forgot to check on the time. I swear I’ll be more careful,” he apologized with a guilty smile and kissed his mother’s cheek. She sighed and relaxed her shoulders, though she still held a stern look. “Langa, keep an eye on him will you? I swear he’d lose his head if it wasn’t attached to his body.”
Reki scoffed and Langa chuckled. “Don’t worry, Mrs. Kyan, I’ll take care of him.” Her face finally fell into a smile at his words. “Thank you. Tough work, but someone’s gotta do it!” Reki gasped, offended. “I’m your son, not your pet monster!” He hissed. He mother ignored his indignant blabbering, offering Langa another sweet smile before disappearing around the hall.
The redhead sighed. “Jeez, she never fails to embarrass me. Come on, let go to my room before my sister sniff me out and harass me too.”
Finally safe from the rest of the Kyan household, Langa flopped onto Reki’s bed, sighing with relief. “I’m surprisingly tired, considering how early it is,” he admitted, shutting his eyes. “Aw, really? I’m not really tired yet.” Langa hummed and sat up. “I can stay up,” he reassured him quickly, not liking the disappointment in his voice.
Reki shook his head. “No way, you look exhausted. But you should change your clothes before you go to bed.” Langa blinked for a second before smacking himself in the face. “I knew I forgot something,” he sighed. The other looked amused as rolled his chair over to his closet.
After a minute, he tossed a hoodie and sweatpants into his lap. “There you go! Now hurry up before you collapse and die or something.” Langa gave him a look but obeyed anyway. He was gone and back again from the bathroom quickly, happily snug in the sweet-smelling lavender sweater.
His eyes felt heavy with the weight of only half a night of sleep, an early start to school, and a day of really nothing but goofing off with Reki. A good day in his book, but a tiring one all the same.
”Jeez, how late did you stay up?” Reki snorted, gazing at him with mingled amusement and affection. Langa was sure it was only half as late as Reki had, but Reki wasn’t human and could run off of three hours of sleep easy. “I dunno. Come on,” he motioned expectantly to his bed.
”I was gonna work on those wheels from the other day, don’t wait for me,” he waved a dismissive hand at him. Langa scowled. “What time did you go to bed?” He asked impatiently. Reki shrugged, “I dunno, like four?”
”You’re running off of two hours of sleep. Get in bed,” he deadpanned, pointing to the mattress. “I told you I’m not tired,” Reki huffed, turning his chair around.
Langa glared at the back of his head before have a brilliantly stupid idea. He strode over to his desk, sitting atop its surface right in front of Reki before he could begin to gather his materials. “Really? Move it, dude” he huffed, jutting his thumb out and pointing it behind him.
”I will drag you,” he challenges, staring at him with tied but pointed eyes. Reki looked unimpressed. “No, Langa. No you won’t,” he said confidently, rummaging around in the bottom drawer of his desk. “Okay, maybe you’re right about that,” he admitted with a sigh. “Yep. Now can you move? I wanna finish these by next week.”
Langa only stared at him without moving an inch. “Langa, come on. You’re exhausted! Just go to bed!” He complained siting back in his chair to frown at him. “If you’re gonna make me stay up, at least pay attention to me,” he grumbled, pouting in an obliviously childish way.
Reki seemed to flush but maybe it was just the lighting. “Fine. What do you want?” He caved, giving him an impatient look. “You to go to bed.” “Next option.” “Your attention.” “You have it, dude.”
Langa hummed, unsatisfied. And with an exhaustion-induced loose tongue, he lets slip, “You affection.”
Now Reki was definitely blushing. Maybe that was a little too honest. What that weird? That was probably weird. Uh oh. He shouldn’t have-
“Fine, c’mere,” he mumbled, red face turned away in embarrassment as he opened his arms. “Huh?” Langa said stupidly. Reki patted his thigh. “Sit.”
Oh. OH.
If he were a more intelligent man, he would’ve said no. Because in no way would he ever be able to control himself after going this far. But how was he supposed to say no when the invitation was right there?
Without a word, he slid off the desk and climbed into his lap, positioning himself so that their chests were flush against each other and he could wrap his selfish arms around him. Reki was quick to hold onto him, hooking his chin over Langa’s shoulder so he could still see what he was doing while giving him the affection he’d asked for. Langa dropped his head onto his shoulder, face burning so hot he was sure Reki could feel it.
And he knew for a fact he was addicted. There was absolutely no chance that he’d be able to forget the warm enveloping his entire body, the arms around his back, the heart beating in rhythm with his own.
Langa was so royally fucked. And it was all his own fault. He was aware Reki was poison, but he’d given in to that unbearable sweetness a long time ago.
Soon enough, the sound of metal scraping metal filled the quiet room as Reki finally let his hands fall and got to work. Langa buried his face further into the crooked of his neck and tried to focus on the soft hums beginning to form in the other’s throat.
It took a good thirty minutes for him to fully relax, and along with that came his exhaustion all over again. His grip on him slackened until his arm hung losely around his waist, and he found him dipping in and out of consciousness right there in Reki’s arms.
”Don’t think you can fall asleep there,” Reki warned, poking at the back of his head. Langa grumbled in complaint, snuggling impossibly closer to him. “Alright, that’s enough, sleeping beauty.” Through his sleep fogged mind, he wondered if that was turning into one of Reki’s many nicknames for him. He didn’t really mind the idea.
He felt Reki shift beneath him and the chair carrying them somewhere away from his desk. “Come on, you need to go to sleep,” he prodded his shoulder, making him mutter his incoherent disapproval.
”As adorable as this is, I can’t lift you into bed, you gotta get up yourself.” Langa groaned, dejectedly lifting his head. “What time is it?” He mumbled. “Like, twelve? Come on, go to bed,” he urged, gently pushing him at the waist. “You need to go to bed too,” he argued, blinking at him with bleary eyes.
“I’m not-“ “We’ve been through this. Either we go to bed together or I fall asleep right here,” he said with a note of finality he hoped Reki caught. He immediately flushed that familiar shade of red, and finally conceded. “Alright, alright. Fine.” He sighed and pinched his waist as a halfhearted punishment.
Satisfied with his victory, he finally stood up, allowing Reki to get up as well. He quickly turned his desk lamp off and joined him back at the bed. “Alright, scoot over, dork,” he poked his side, but Langa had absolutely zero desire to move. “You have the audacity to make me follow you to bed and not give me any room??”
”You have plenty of room,” he mumbled, already half asleep. He was sure Reki was pouting, but felt the mattress dip as he climbed in beside him. And without warning, he settled himself right on top of him.
His eyes cracked open just enough to see the mess of red hair tickling his neck and he didnt bother trying to keep them from falling closed again, too tired to be surprised by their position. He just quietly wrapped his arms around him and buried his nose into hair that smelled of summery fruit-scented shampoo. And he wished he could get used to this.
—-
Monday rolled around (with Langa successfully preventing Reki for making any progress on his wheels) and with it, nearly too much touch to bear.
Because Reki was all around too much, with the way he’d started to really hold his hand. Rest his head on his shoulder. Lean up against him while they were studying.
What killed Langa is that he wouldn’t hug him.
He tugged the yeti he’d given him closer to his chest, burying his miserable face into fur that could never match Reki’s hair. It still smelt just like Reki and he prayed that it always would, but it only made him long for a hug that much more.
He didn’t know why he was so desperate for one, but… after that night that Reki held him like it was the most natural thing in the world? How was he supposed to move on from that?
He’d never been handled like that. With such painful delicacy and firmness rolled in Reki’s perfect hands.
This was probably weird. But he also probably didn’t care.
Suddenly, his phone buzzed from his desk, and he regrettably let go of the obnoxious animal to go check. Ever the image of grace, he immediately trips over a bag he doesn’t remember having.
”Wha-“ he gently lifts up the top and feels the need to smack his head against the wall. Because wow he was really stupid. He gathered the gift, shoving it into his backpack, before checking his phone.
Reki <3
heeey langa! 12:16pm
Whats up? 12:18pm
im bored, you should come make breakfast with me 12:18pm
Breakfast? What time did you wake up? 12:19pm
ten minutes ago 12:19pm
Langa huffed a little laugh, smiling at his phone like an idiot, because of course he did.
I’ll be over in five 12:20pm
yesss you’re the best langa <3 12:20pm
With the look of a love struck fool, he pocketed his phone, grabbed his bag, and was out the door.
”Langa!” Reki grinned as he welcomed him, the familiar chaos of the Kyan home immediately destroying Langa’s eardrums. “I’m guessing the twins want to help us?” He asked with an expectant smile.
The redhead snorted, “Of course. When do they not?” And lead him to the kitchen where Nanaka and Chihiro were struggling to reach the top of the counter, attempting to climb on top of one another’s shoulders to grip the edge. “Wha- get off of Nanaka, you animal!” Reki immediately separated the disaster waiting to happen, unfortunately leaving his sisters to notice Langa’s existence.
”It’s Langa!” They cheered and ran over, making little grabby hands at him. He was never good with kids, but something about Kyan puppy dog eyes had his resolve crumbling in seconds. He crouched down, allowing the little ones to grab at his hands. “I’m here almost every day, how do you always get so excited?” He chuckled as Chihiro tried to pry a bandaid from his index finger.
Nanaka grinned, reaching toward his hair. “You have pretty hair! And we’re super hair stylers!” He fought off the urge to scoff at her claim, remembering all of the messes the pair had made of his and Reki’s hair, all of which ended with the inevitable half hour of untangling painful knots and finding countless bobby-pins burrowed at their scalps. “Of course,” he said instead with a gentle smile.
But he couldn’t filter a startled gasp of pain when Chihiro nearly gave him a bald spot with her obnoxious toddler strength. “Okay, okay! That’s enough of that!” Reki quickly intervened, scooping the culprit into his arms and resting her on the counter. “I know he’s gorgeous but you can’t go around grabbing him like that.”
At that, Langa did scoff. “You’re one to talk,” he teased, stand up and massaging his poor head. Reki rolled his eyes with a playful quirk to his lips. “At least I show restraint,” he retorted and turned to the pantry. “Now tell me when you want to eat before I let my sisters turn your head into a battle field.”
”Wow okay, pulling that card this early in the afternoon?” He shot back and looked down at Nanaka tugging at his pant leg. She grinned and pointed to the counter, so he carefully picked her up and set her beside her sister. “You know, I’m not the one who looks like he died and came back to life when he doesn’t get his beauty sleep,” Reki gave him an unimpressed look, impatient for an answer to his question.
”Ignoring the fact that you just said I was gorgeous, do you have anything sweet?” He smirked smugly when Reki flushed and turned away. “This early in the afternoon?” He mocked in a squeaky voice. He only rolled his eyes and turned his attention to his siblings, who were giggling and pawing at each other’s hands.
”And what are you two up to?” He asked, confused by their seemingly mindless swatting of hands. They didn’t answer, focussed solely on their chaotic game. “Don’t tell me Canadians don’t have handshake games,” Reki looked shocked as he appeared at his side, setting a box of pancake mix down. Langa blinked, slowly remembering that those were a thing.
”No, we do. I just always hated them as a kid so I don’t recognize them,” he shrugged, picking up the box to read over the instructions. “What child doesn’t like the mindless practice of hitting other children?” He leaned forward to catch his gaze again, looking bewildered.
Langa snorted at his awful summary of the game, answering, “I couldn’t stand it when other kids touched me, which is kind of hard to explain from toddler to toddler, so I avoided people as a whole like the plague. So yeah, I don’t have much know, edge on playground traditions.”
Reki’s brow furrowed in confusion. “You hate touch?” He asked and for a devastating second looked absolutely mortified. “Oh, no. I used to. I had had a harder time with sensory issues when I was little.” It was hard not to laugh when he looked visibly relieved. “Yeah I get that. When do you think it changed?” He asked absently as he searched through the cupboard for a bowl.
Langa found a whisk as he replied. “I’m not actually sure. It’s new to me, really,” he admitted, feeling oddly embarrassed. “New? What do you mean?” He sounded interested now and he could feel eyes on his despite their separate gathering of ingredients.
”My parents obviously knew about my problem, so they tried not to hug me or hold my hand and stuff. I sort of just recently realized I don’t hate it from all people anymore.” Reki blinked, joining him at the counter with two eggs. His brow was slightly raised, lips pursed in calmly attentive expression, as if he’d just realized something important. It almost put him on edge.
”What?” He asked, giving his a puzzled frown. “Nothing,” his face melted back into a smile and he waved a dismissive hand. “Do you two want to crack the eggs?” He asked the girls before he could push the subject.
Pretty soon, the kitchen was a war zone with batter-covered baby hands and half-cooked pancake puddles on the ground.
”I didn’t think pancakes would be this difficult to make,” he huffed, stuck helping clean off the twins’s hands. “We could’ve done this mess-free in fifteen minutes if someone hadn’t decided to get her grubby paws in the bowl!” He shot a stern look at Chihiro from the stove as he flipped the final(decent) pancake.
The duo only snickered and ran off as soon as Langa’s job was done. He let out a tired sigh, collapsing against the counter as Reki brought their breakfast over to him. “You good?” He snorted, nudging his shoulder. “Yeah, just thanking my parents for only having one kid.” Reki laughed, all beautiful and loud, and his heart felt all fluttery for some reason.
After they’d finally eaten and cleaned the kitchen (before Masae could come home and have a heart attack), they headed back to Reki’s room to dork around and do whatever it is they wanted to do.
He sat down on his bed, enjoying the way the mattressed bounced like his never did. “What did you wanna-“ his breath caught in his throat and he was pretty sure he died twice, all because Reki was standing in front of him and holding his face with the calmest little smile, as if this was the most natural thing in the world.
As baffled as he was, he was quick to melt into the touch, all he could seem to think being ‘well this is new’. Reki giggled, clearing noticing the way he allowed his face to relax in his hand so his cheek was pressed flush to his palm. “I knew it,” he spoke with quiet confidence.
And it was such a Reki thing to say that it reminded him of what he’d been meaning to do. And since Langa was Langa, he didn’t think before exclaiming, “Oh! I just remembered!” Reki looked a little startled at his sudden outburst, dropping his hands which he immediately missed. But he didn’t chase them, instead, snatching up his bag and drawing out the little Sylveon plushie.
Reki gasped, getting that excited sparkle in his eyes like he does whenever he sees something he really wants. “I was supposed to give this to you like a week ago, but completely forgot I had it,” he admitted awkwardly, presenting it to him. “Oh my god, it’s so flipping cute-“ he laughed, accepting it into his hands, looking it over for a second before turning his attention back to Langa with that blinding grin of his.
”Thank you so much, Langa! You’re the absolute best!” He gushed and threw his arms around his neck in a somewhat awkward hug that had him leaning over with their height difference. And far too quickly, Reki tried to let him go, pulling back as much as he could with Langa’s stubborn hands clasped at his hips.
He snorted, breaking out into a full-on laughing fit, and he had an inclination to believe he hadn’t suddenly remembered something funny. “What? What did I do?” He asked, tilting his head like a clueless, lost animal. Reki caught his breath, voice still shaking with laughter. “Dude, you’re so cute,” he giggled, slipping one arm off his shoulder so he could pinch his cheek. He frowned, feeling his face grow warm.
”Restraint, you said,” he mumbled sourly, feeling far too embarrassed considering he wasn’t the one acting like his toddler sisters. “You say that like you don’t visibly melt every time I touch you,” he teased with a cat-like grin he would’ve expected from Miya rather than him. He blinked, a little surprised. “Do I really?”
That had Reki laughing all over again, looping his arms around his neck a little tighter to draw them closer. “Yes, really. News flash, buddy, you’re touch starved. Like, really really touch starved.” Langa pouted, confusion only growing along with the pace of his heart. “Touch starved??”
”Bingo! You’re almost eighteen and haven’t had proper love and affection your entire life? This is criminal,” he huffed as if this fact truly offended him. “Of course you want hugs and stuff after realizing you actually liked them!”
Langa stared at him like the fool that he was before it finally clicked. “Oh.” He thought for a second more. “Ooohh! Yeah, that makes sense.” Reki chuckled, fixing him with that sickeningly sweet gaze he was growing familiar with. “Yeah, I know I’m a genius. And luckily I’m an expert doctor in the field of your implication, my dear.”
”Your dear?” He asked with an incredulous smile despite the way his face was burning. Reki looked just as afflicted as he rolled his eyes. “Let me have my fun, weirdo,” he insisted, so Langa shrugged and let him. “Just let me know what you need.”
He hummed with a quirk of his brow. “What I need?” Reki nodded quickly, looking somewhat impatient. “Yep. Whatever you need! I sell hugs, hand holding, hair braiding, anything in the book!” “Wha- Sell??” “That Sylveon gives you a lifetime supply of cuddles. A deal I don’t hand out often, might I say.”
Langa scoffed, a fond smile curling his lips. “Yeah, because you have so many customers, don’t you, oh beloved Doctor Reki?” He nodded again, looking significantly proud of himself. “Sure do! I only hand out deal to my favorite customers.” “Wow, I’m so honored to be among the lucky few.”
Reki chuckled, “okay, this bit is awful. Do you wanna cuddle or not?” “Obviously,” he answered without an ounce of hesitation, drawing out yet another brilliant laugh from him. Regrettably, he had to allow Reki to draw back and sit down in front of him. “So how do you wanna do this?” He asked, leg bouncing the way it did when he was nervous or excited. Langa hoped it was the second as he asked, “do you have anything you need to work on?”
The redhead looked perplexed for a moment before something clicked in his mind. “Oh, no, but did you like sitting like that before?” Langa couldn’t help but look away, suddenly sheepish to admit that yes, he did like sitting in his best friend’s lap casually like it was just something they always did. Which at this rate, he was guessing it probably would be.
So without explaining, he crawling into Reki’s bed, sitting propped against his frankly ridiculous mountain of mingled pillows and plushies. He finally met Reki’s eyes again and silently patted his thigh. He relaxed when he gave him an amused smiled, immediately shifting toward him.
All at once, all of Reki was right in front of him, curled around him like he was to most comfortable thing to ever hold. He relaxed against him as soon as they made contact, pressing his nose into the crook of his neck and wrapping his arms tight across his back. He could feel Reki’s arms back around his shoulder and his legs crossed behind him, dragging them closer than they’d ever been.
And Reki was right, he really was melting.
Every muscle in his body went soft and warm and fuzzy and all he could think was Reki Reki Reki. Because he was warmth. He was safety. He was everything he never knew he longed for.
”So does this make up for the terror of my sisters?” He asked, pulling back only enough to see his face. “If your field of expertise covers head trauma, than I guess we can work something out,” he shrugged and Reki dissolved, letting their foreheads knock together. “I’m not sure I can do much about that one, sorry.”
In that moment he could feel his breathy laughter, that still smelled sweet like maple and sugar, on his cheeks. He could count the freckles that built constellations under his eyes that held tones of amber hed never been able to see before. He could notice the little gap in his teeth and the faded scar on his lip from a bail all the way back before they met.
He wondered what it would feel like to kiss the smile on his face.
Ah. Langa was beginning to think he’d crossed a line about four miles ago.
But the realization didn’t hit him hard, didn’t embarrass him, didn’t make him feel shame or anything at all. All it did was warm his stomach because he had a good idea that the boy he was holding -the one laughing with his forehead pressed to his, the one with bandaids littering his arms, the one who only ever wore hoodies and jeans, the one who calls him beautiful and amazing and his dear- loved him too.
”Hey, doctor?” He asked with a familiar brand new feeling blooming in his chest. “Yes, my patient?” Reki giggled, fingers slipping idly to fiddle with the hair at the base of his neck.
He hummed, more content than he’d ever been. “How much would you say a kiss costs?”
Reki’s hands paused and Langa watched the progression of his face turning pink to scarlet in a matter of seconds. He swallowed, a shaky smile playing at his precious lips as he looked away. “Usually they wouldn’t be on the table,” he teased, hanging that honeyed promise right before his face.
”Usually?” He pried, leaning closer so their noses bumped together. He watched Reki’s lips purse to try and stifle a smile, impatient. “But, you did empty your pockets for me…”
He drew out his words as if he knew the torture he was bringing upon him. “So I guess a kiss wouldn’t hurt,” he murmured, that adorable smile finally breaking free.
So without wasting a second, he closed the distance, being met halfway by that perfect mouth he’d wondered about for too long.
As soon as their lips touched he couldn’t stand himself for waiting so long to feel this way. It had his belly full of golden, cozy love, the candied taste of Reki’s cherry chapstick sending his heart into overdrive and his mind to the clouds. Reki was everything and he swore he could live off this feeling alone for the rest of his life.
But of course the burning in his lungs forced him to part, allowing him to see him again. The Reki looking back at him was one he’d never seen before. One with his face aflame but relaxed, lips parted ever so slightly and eyes sparkling with something Langa finally understood was love. He stared at Langa in awe, like he was the most incredible thing in the entire world, like he was all he’d ever need and ever wanted. “Doctor?”
Reki hummed, leaning in, pressing their noses together in hopes of a second kiss. “I love you,” he whispered, sure that his medicine had only made him lovesick.
Then he was kissing him again, clogging all his senses with nothing but sweet cherry sun and clearing his mind of any thoughts.
When they separated, he wore a tender smile, drenched in every smitten word he was yet to say. “I love you too, Langa.”
His name had never sounded sweeter.