Chapter Text
Raph pounded a mystic fist into Donatello's plastron, knocking the softshell back with unexpected force. The purple mutant landed hard on his exposed shell, letting out an involuntary cry as the cold ground connected to his back with a loud smack. Raph's eyes widened, letting the mystic that enlaced his hands dissolve as he rushed over to his younger sibling.
The two had been dueling for a couple hours now, but this was the first time either one was fully knocked down.
Raph called out something, but the ringing had started again. A loud, teeth-grating sound only Donnie could hear, but he figured it better not to tell his siblings about, no reason to present another reason for them to see him as weak . The inventor flipped themself over, their arms trembling as he pushed himself up to his knees. Invading his sight came a three fingered hand, an offering palm for support, but in the haze Donnie found themself smacking it away.
“Again,” came the breathy whisper from the softshell as he reached down and picked back up his bō staff. Raph took a few paces back, looking Donnie up and down. He circled around his younger sibling, only for them to turn with him.
“Hey- im tryna get a look at your shell! That was a nasty hit,” Raph snapped, but hints of concern crept into his voice.
“I said again, Raphala,” Donnie huffed, with a cold gaze that felt so out of place in contrast to the bright colors of the lair’s new training room. He repositioned himself into a fighting stance, however was caught off guard by the wet splat that came from somewhere nearby. Assuming it was a leak, Donnie straightened his posture and squinted upwards, hearing the noise again, yet saw no identifiable source.
“Donnie,” Raph began, hesitantly, “... your shell .”
Of course. Donnie looked on the ground behind them to see the several crimson beads decorating the floor, just in time for another drop to join the small cluster. An inexplicable hot fury broiled in his chest, one he'd learned for so many years to push down, “Right. I’ll go patch up in the med-bay real quick, then we can get right back to training.”
Firmly planting one end of his bō into the ground, Donnie turned and began to leave before Raph could get another word in. Unfortunately for him, Raph was quicker, sliding in front of him before he got the chance to limp away.
“Hey- hey , why don't we call it a night, and I’ll patch you up, okay?” Raph reached out his hand to his sibling’s shoulder once again as a means for support, but Donnie clutched his hands to his chest as he recoiled, the corner of his mouth twitched into a frown, “Nonsense. You don't have to stop just because I was being foolish and miscalculated how close I’d get to you.”
Donatello attempted to push his way past Raph, but their older brother wouldn't budge, “No. I'm putting my foot down, you’re genuinely hurt. We're done for today.”
“What- no! I- ugh, fine, I get it if you don't want to train anymore. I’ll just go ask Leo or Mikey.”
“Don, no,” Raph was only met with a gaze that melted into confusion, then that cold, dead stare once again.
“You're not the leader, Raph.”
“I’m still your older brother, and it's my job to take care-”
“I can take care of myself,” with that, Donnie shoved his way past him and left the room, leaving Raph standing alone. A suffocating silence was followed by the unmistakable cheerful greeting of Mikey, then an angry shout from someone else.
Raph's eyes fell to the ground, trailing back to the drops of blood on the floor. Even if it wasn't a lot, any amount of blood was still concerning. Something wasn't right, not since after the Kraang invaded.
Well, okay, maybe losing two brothers in under the span of 48 hours would have an effect on Donnie, but it was starting to get out of control. He felt like he rarely ever saw their purple brother anymore, but he never saw them in their lab. It was always their room, or the training area. Sometimes he’d catch them eating at two or three in the morning, and being well aware that would be their only meal until the next time they remembered they had a physical body to take care of, Raph figured it best if he left them alone in those cases.
But there was one thing that set everyone off. Their sibling's consistent refusal to wear his battle shell. It wasn’t abnormal for them to not wear it in the lair, but even when missions started again Donnie just didn’t wear it. No one commented on it the first time, figuring it was an easy mission, but then it didn’t stop. Even when it was more dangerous stuff, like capturing rouge kraangified, or mutated, beings he refused to wear it- he didn’t even use his Tech Bō anymore.
Leo was the one to come to Raph about it after a particularly bad injury to Donnie’s shell, looking for advice from the former leader. Mikey overheard, and suddenly the three of them decided to meet up sometime where Donnie didn’t have cameras. Obviously, that place would be Señor Hueso's restaurant. Sometime during the day too, considering that was the only time the former inventor ever slept anymore. At least that hadn’t changed.
The table the three sat at hung in a heavy silence, only broken by the occasional chewing of pizza. Raph took a deep breath, placing his elbows on the table and folding his hands in front of him, “Alright. Let's talk. First, a check in.
Leo groaned, “Uhh, I thought we were talking about someone else's problems.”
“Yeah, I think we've been pretty clear with the whole,” Mikey said with a half stuffed mouth, and made a circular motion with his hands, “self-run group therapy thing. What we should be worried about is the one person who wouldn’t talk during those sessions.”
“Couldn’t,” Leo corrected.
Raph nodded, couldn’t . It wasn’t exactly something he fully understood, but Donnie had trouble speaking sometimes, and when they tried their speech was incoherent. Raph chalked it up to the events that happened, but according to Leo it had been happening ever since Donnie was little, this was just the first time the other two found out about it. How had he missed that? It made the snapper wonder what other things he didn't know about, about how in the dark he was on his brothers’ wellbeing.
Focus .
Raph shook himself out of the quickly spiraling train of thought, “We’re doing a quick check-in, alright? We all went through it, were all getting through it. As Doctor Feelings once said,'' Raph gestured over to Mikey, “you can't help anyone if you don't help yourself. So, you’re up Angelo, how have you been?”
Mikey swallowed the pizza he’d been chewing, “Good, good enough. Uh, I’m still having those nightmares, but I took your guys advice and started writing them down so I can talk about them with one of the adults. I’ve been feeling really frustrated with my art, but with Donnie’s hand stabilizers the tremors haven’t been nearly as bad!”
“But the tremors are still happening?” Raph asked, a look of worry coming over him, “It’s been a couple months. You should talk to Drax about that.”
Mikey nodded, “Will do. Alright, Leo, what about you?” Leo froze up for a moment, pausing mid bite before setting the slice down and leaning back in his chair.
“I’ve been good,” He muttered, suddenly very interested in the photos on the wall, “Oh yeah, and Hueso and I have been talking through everything that happened,” Leo lowered his voice to a near whisper when he added that last bit. Raph winced when he saw Leo’s eyes go all glossy.
“Wanna talk about it one on one later, Leo?” Mikey suggested, and to that their blue brother just nodded. Mikey looked over at Raph, expectantly.
Oh, right, his turn.
“My eye has been healing well, but it’s still blurry. The pain in my shell hasn’t been so bad, so physically I’m doing much better,” the oldest paused, and took a deep breath, “ but I’ve been worried. I know I can protect you guys, but I’m still accepting that you can all protect yourselves, especially after getting…” Raph trailed off in a moment's hesitation, but turned his head away and continued, “taken away, and I think that it's gettin’ on Donnie's nerves, and- and I'm worried that I'm the reason he's acting this way.”
“Big bro, don't take it personally, Donnie has been annoyed with everyone lately. Including April, which is pretty surprising considering it's usually the other way around,'' Leo leaned back forward, that classic smile slapped right back onto his face. Raph made a mental note to definitely check in with him later. “Though, he is acting more dickish than usual, and a lot less condescending, which normally I’d be happy about…”
Mikey nodded, a thoughtful yet uncharacteristically sad look on his face, his mouth clamped tight, as if holding his tongue to prevent saying something he might regret.
“And we started noticing this only after the Kraang, so it's gotta be that- right? Mikey, what-” Raph caught his breath, and lowered his voice a bit and leaned in, “Did anything happen to Donnie while the two of you were getting control of that spaceship?”
Mikey stopped, several emotions flitting through his eyes all at once, before slowly nodding, “I had to take off his battle shell to connect to the spaceship,” the artist whispered, and Leo choked on whatever carbonated neon drink he was sipping.
“You had to what ? And you didn't think it was important to tell us this until now?” Leo's tone wasn't upset or angry, it was mainly just surprised as far as the Raph could tell, “Well, that definitely explains the indents on his shell…”
“It- it was scary, okay? He got engulfed in that disgusting goop- and suddenly he was the spaceship… but then he got yanked out and…” Mikey squeezed his hands, “ ‘M sorry. I didn't think it would be my story to tell.”
“You're okay Mikey, but it is definitely useful knowing that. Ya think that vulnerability is what got them to be so scared of relying on tech?” Raph theorized, almost surprising himself with the high chance of that actually being the case.
The revelation left an uncomfortable silence clinging to the air, the clatter of the restaurant distant in comparison. It was like, just for a moment, a bubble had formed around the three, with any outside distractions miles away.
“Do you think we’re gonna get Donnie back?” The meek question came from the box turtle, who sunk back into his chair when the other two turned to look at him. Raph felt compelled to ask him to elaborate, but deep down he knew what the youngest meant. They all knew. For once, he felt lost for words.
Was he supposed to say? “Of course we are- I have not a doubt in the world that our sibling will recover fully from this and be back to their old self in no time!” No. That wouldn't be true, because Raph did have doubts. It was normal for this to last a week or two from Donnie, but not months . Something felt horribly wrong to the snapper. It was like the world split, and the gap between them and Donnie was growing at such a exponential rate that he had no time to react-
He felt helpless .
“No way we’re losing him, Mikey, and you know what? We’re gonna go back and knock that dum-dum back to his senses,” Leo assured, that churning doubt Raph felt replaced with that contagious hope the blue turtle seemed to carry with him. “Hey Bone Man! Can we get the check?” Leo shouted as Hueso walked by, to receive a thumbs up from the restaurant owner.
“Uh, Leo, what do you mean by that?” Raph asked, though after a moment he had to remind himself that Leo wasn’t twelve anymore, so he probably didn't mean it literally. Probably .
“Easy. I'm gettin’ him to talk. Just me and him though, okay? Then I'll see if and when they are ready to talk to anyone else. I'll definitely give them a piece of my mind about his self-destructive behaviors, too. I guess I was just waiting for you to do it, Raph. No offense, of course, I know it's hard to get them to listen sometimes.”
“ You're gonna talk about emotions ? With Donnie ?” To Mikey, the plan seemed like a recipe for disaster, but hey- it couldn't hurt to try, right? Not like they had many other options at this rate, anyways.
“It's a twin thing,” Leo replied simply, taking a long sip of a carbonated beverage, “make sure we box a couple slices for Donnie, too.” he added, taking the check from Hueso, looking it over, nodding confidently as he headed him a twenty.
No matter how many times Hueso tried to remind the turtle that currency was different in the yokai world, it never stuck, did it? Hueso just sighed and took it, “Thank you, pepino, but say- where’s the purple one?”
“Donnie’s not feeling too well,” Raph explained, his voice forced to be optimistic, but his eyes told a different story. Hueso paused for a moment, then nodded and began to walk away. Raph swore he could’ve seen worry from the skeleton, even for a moment.
“Wait! Could we get a box for the rest of this?” Mikey called after him.
“Leo knows where the boxes are,” he waved his hand and went to check on another table. Leo ran off to grab a box, leaving Raph and Mikey alone at the table. The two were engulfed in an off sort of silence, an unspoken agreement,
and for a moment more,
the bubble would remain.
An electric blue portal appeared in the lair, three color coded brothers stumbling out. Leading was Leo, a white styrofoam box in hand. So much for saving the turtles. Raph and Mikey went their separate way to their rooms, the time being almost 10 pm by now.
Leo, however, made his way down the hall past his own room and to his twin’s. He didn’t exactly have a plan on what he’d say, or how he’d say it, but he knew one thing- he was not leaving until he got through to Donnie.
He reached the room, knocking on the door loudly in a distinctive pattern the two had come up with when they were little, though Leo was 90% sure he was the only one who had remembered it. When not even an annoyed groan came, the slider called through the door, “Donnie! Open the door, I got pizza for you!”
Surely they wouldn’t turn down pizza, right? It came as a sort of second thought to try the door handle, which to Leo’s surprise actually turned without resistance.
Donnie never left his door unlocked.
He quickly pushed away those thoughts that jumped to the worst possible scenario, the things he had to remind himself were unreasonable, and took a deep breath, “Donnniieeee?” He said slowly, pushing open the door.
“It’s from Hueso’s…” he trailed off, looking around the seemingly empty room. His computer was open, something was playing on it. From the distance, it looked like a loading bar, but the text was too small to make out from where Leo stood. The computer was set up on a desk, the chair that Donnie would usually be hunched over in was tipped over with one of the wheels snapped off.
Broken.
He made his way over to the desk, leaning in close to see what the computer read.
deleting data : 82% complete
[////////////////// ]
do not turn off system
Leo’s eyes widened, involuntarily taking a step back from the computer, “Hey- Don! Your computer! Don’t you hear me? Wake up!” He would admit, that came out a little bit louder and more aggressive than he would’ve liked, but he was starting to actually get worried now. He shifted his eyes over to his twin’s bed, the usually quick-witted and bold purple turtle reduced to a pile under the sheets.
“Alright, enough of this, it’s not funny anymore,” Leo grumbled, walking over to the messy bed. He found himself consecutively tripping over empty energy drink cans, and other miscellaneous gadgets that had been reduced to scrap metal. Finally at the side of their bed, Leo found himself hesitating, an oily dread dripping its way through his abdomen, coating his heart and clogging his lungs, filling up his stomach in a way that made him want to hurl.
Losing all the confidence he mustered up just a moment before, Leo’s clammy hand reached down for the edge of the blanket, his mind flashing, flooding with those horrible pictures he saw in his nightmares all over again. He couldn’t take it, grabbing the sheets and pulling them back with a quick yank, then dropping it like the soft texture had just burned him.
And there lay Donnie, peacefully sleeping, and in one piece. Their mask lazily draped over their neck, and his hands tucked under his head. Leo could almost feel the relief like a gust of wind,
But he knew that wasn’t real.
Because when Leo pulled back those sheets,
Donnie wasn't there.