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Nero had a lot of experience with idealistic people.
Lumiere Silvamillion Clover was the chief amongst them, and she dutifully served him anyway. He wanted nothing more than for people to get along, to be treated fairly in this world, based on their own merits and not what they had been born with. She always admired that about him. You shouldn’t shut the doors to your own potential. He had been right. Without him, Nero, then Secre Swallowtail, may never have seen the true potential in her once-useless Sealing magic.
I'm positive that this will become a world where our peoples can live side by side, as friends!! We'll be able to understand each other!
Nero remembered keenly the first day that they met. She was so worried that Lumiere would be like every other royal by which she was usually surrounded: uptight, snobbish, and wholly lazy. He was the exact opposite of that. He was studious, hard-working, selfless and always so impossibly open-minded. Secre always thought that if he were to be any more open-minded, then his brain might fall out.
Yet, if he had not been so open-minded, she might’ve given up a long time ago. She might’ve locked herself away and run away from all her adversities.
Quit giving up! What you’re doing right now is running away! You just stopped thinking and locked yourself up in darkness because it’s easier that way!
Nero gasped involuntarily as that memory flashed through her mind.
When she had first met Asta, whilst trapped in her bird form and incapable of human speech, she really hadn’t thought much of him. Sure, it was undeniable that he was a hard-worker, someone who worked harder than anybody around him, but she also believed he was a dumb meathead with delusions of grandeur for his future. He wanted to be the Wizard King if it were the last thing he would ever do, and he had an unhealthy obsession with one of the nuns at the church he grew up in. Nero didn’t care at all for him. She only stuck around to safeguard Licht’s five-leaf Grimoire that he had somehow obtained. He was merely an appendage on the end of what truly mattered. In fact, a part of her had even felt insulted that a boy that possessed absolutely no magic at all thought he could reach the same rank as her precious Prince.
But…in time, she saw him for who he was. She recalled how desperately he fought to save that town, Saussy Village, from the Eye of the Midnight Sun. She remembered how, even though the Eye had killed countless people, he still endeavoured to understand them and their motives. He was the only one who cared enough to do that, and he did it again with the Elves. His massive sword belied the truth: he really wasn’t an aggressive person. Truly, he wanted everybody to understand one another. She had a lot more time to think about it whilst Asta had been resting for a week after the dungeon raid, and she couldn’t help but admire his boundless determination to save lives and protect others. Nobody was as tenacious as he was, truly.
She would never admit it to him, but Nero had been deeply moved by his actions. He forgave the Elves, despite their thirst for violence, when it became apparent that they had merely been unwitting servants of a devil. Their grief had been weaponised into a force for vengeance. Nobody else would have forgiven them for that, but Asta did. A part of her had always been jealous of Asta for his good nature.
When he acquired his Grimoire, he never took revenge on the people who ridiculed him. He easily could have, but the thought never even occurred to him. Nero felt guilty for not being able to do the same. When she and Lumiere arrived in the Eye of the Midnight Sun’s floating base to help defeat Zagred, though she remained as stoic as ever, there was a wicked sense of satisfaction in her mind as they returned to take on the devil that had been responsible for taking her Prince away from her. Asta had no such desire in mind, despite knowing that the devil had caused the Elven genocide. He only wished to defeat the devil to save lives.
By the time she had returned to her human form, she knew that she cared deeply for him. Not that she would ever tell him that.
Having her Prince back had made her feel like Secre again, if fleetingly, and she had been happy for a few moments. She knew, somewhere inside her heart, that it wouldn’t last forever, but at least it gave her the opportunity to say goodbye.
Asta embodied similar idealistic views as her Prince. It was obvious. He believed that anybody could and deserved to succeed if they just tried hard enough. He didn’t believe in doing things half-assed. Sure, Asta wasn’t nearly as studious or academically inclined as Lumiere, but he was smarter than he was usually given credit for. Though it may seem difficult to believe to the average observer, or Noelle, Asta was smart when he wanted to be. He excelled when working in teams, he was a natural-born leader, and he was pretty battle smart. Admittedly, he could be oblivious, bull-headed and slightly obsessed with training at times, but he was a good person at heart.
There was a certain part of her mind that caught a flash of Lumiere when she looked at Asta. She resisted it, but she couldn’t help it. The two only got to interact for a short time, but she suspected that Lumiere and Asta would have been really good friends. She wasn’t sure Asta would have been super interested in the studious parts of magic, but he definitely would’ve thought that his work into magic technology was awesome and super noble. And Lumiere was undoubtedly fascinated by his Anti-magic.
In all honesty, she felt a little guilty for her initial dismissal of him. Five hundred years of loneliness had turned her cynical and driven, until the only thing that mattered to her was stopping the devil Zagred and resurrecting her Prince. Asta had slowly, but surely, driven her out of her shell, whether he knew it or not. Now that she had regained her human form, and defeated the devil at the cost of Lumiere, there was little other purpose to her existence.
Or so it seemed. When Yami handed her that cloak and told her she was a part of the Black Bulls, she initially didn’t know what to think. Yami did not seem like the kind of person to say no to, and there was nothing else for her to do anyway. Admittedly, a part of her chose to join the Magic Knights because of Asta. Asta had become a sense of familiarity for her; it was why she still chose to turn into a bird and nest herself on his head. She had no idea what the future would hold, but she had people like Asta and Yami, who seemed to understand her more than most. They didn’t judge her for the Forbidden magic she had used, or the slight underhandedness behind originally allying herself with them. All they saw was her commitment to protecting innocent lives, ceasing the forces of evil, and her desire to be reunited with someone dear to her heart.
As jaded as she had been, Nero marked the moment she turned her back on her cynicism when Asta and the rest of the Magic Knight squads went to such lengths to rescue her from the Devil Believers (then thought Devil Banishers). Even Damnatio set aside his blatant distrust of her in favour of stopping this cult from succeeding. Indeed, she would never like Damnatio, but at least he displayed a level of reason.
Asta stopped at absolutely nothing to save her and Marie, which is precisely what she expected. It still warmed her heart, even secretly, to see the lengths he would go to protect someone he didn’t really know all that much.
She didn’t like to admit how scared she was when they captured her and Marie and tried to take Asta as well. She kept a brave face on for Marie’s sake, though her fear didn’t subside when she realised that they weren’t going to kill her. She had never been more terrified in her life than when Grey, disguised as Asta, gave herself up to the then-thought Devil Banishers. For a moment, she did think that Asta might die. She was relieved to know that the Magic Knights had a plan, though she knew that Asta definitely would have given himself up in a heartbeat to save them if they didn’t. That’s why the illusion sold so well.
Asta was just that kind of person. Selfless to a fault.
‘Hey, Nero.’
She blinked. She looked over at him.
‘Hello, Asta. How did you find me here?’
“Here” was referring to the very top roof of the Black Bulls’ headquarters. Thanks to Henry and his Recombination magic, this part of the roof was often inaccessible and changed location a lot regardless. Nero liked this place, because she could access it easily with her bird form and she could watch the sun go down. Not that she minded Asta being here, too.
‘I sensed your ki!’ he exclaimed, pointing ecstatically at himself with his thumb. ‘I had to climb all the way up, but it was totally worth it! Really works the calves!’
Nero covered her mouth to hide the giggle that escaped her throat. She understood how one could find Asta irritating, but she was far beyond the point of being used to it.
‘I like to watch the sunset,’ said the girl, her cadence wobbling slightly. Even after some months, she still hadn’t gotten used to the sound of her own voice. ‘It’s beautiful.’
He took a moment to look at the bright orange light seeping out from the horizon in the distance. A few clouds dotted the sky, marinated with a soft gradient of orange and white. The canvas above was like a soup of wispy little plumes, runny blue skies, and a bright sunny yolk. If the sky had been edible, Asta thought, Charmy would have eaten it by now.
The land below was bent with mountains, circled by misty clouds and capped with snow. A vast glacial trough stretched across the landscape, wide and hammock-shaped. Small, tributary rivers trickled down from the adjacent hanging valleys, combining together to form a long, twinkling river that glinted in the orange light of the setting sun. Thick, lush forests bordered the edges of the trough, shaking softly in the evening breeze. Their psithurism was barely audible from where they were standing, but it was just loud enough to be ambiently relaxing.
Asta hummed in content. ‘Yeah. I guess it is.’ He bit his lip. ‘Would you…uh, prefer it if I left you alone?’
Nero looked at him blankly before simply stating, ‘No. You can stay.’
He beamed at her brightly and sat down at the edge of the rooftop. After a moment, she joined him, dangling her legs off the stone tiles. She took a deep breath and exhaled through her nostrils.
‘Asta?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Do you have any regrets?’
He frowned for a moment before saying, ‘My only regret is not being able to marry Sister Lily sooner!’
Nero rolled her eyes. ‘Asta. I’m being serious.’
‘Sorry,’ he apologised, abashedly scratching the back of his scalp. ‘Well…none, really. Why?’
‘I have too many to count.’ She shook her head. ‘My biggest regret…is not being able to save Lumiere.’
‘You did everything you could!’ cried Asta. ‘You preserved him in stone and protected him for centuries! He couldn’t ask anything more of you!’
‘I know,’ she uttered. ‘But in all that time, I could never find another solution. If I had been faster, I could have saved him from being mortally wounded.’
‘But you couldn’t.’ The girl stared at him. She was about to smack him across the face for rubbing it in, or at least pinch his cheek, until he continued. ‘You weren’t able to save him, and I am really, really sorry for that. But you have to stop wasting time wishing you could have done things differently! You can’t. I don’t have any real regrets, because…I don’t lose myself in how things could have been! We live in the here and now, and Lumiere wouldn’t want you all sad, mulling about all things you could have done differently. Lumiere knew you did everything you could, so why don’t you?!’
Nero looked away, the sunset once again catching her eye. Asta had an aggressive way of love at times, but…perhaps that was what she needed. Somebody who wouldn’t sugar-coat things, who would say it like it is. She considered his words with interest.
So many, lonely years locked away in her mind, inside an anti-bird, gave her so much time to ruminate and yet, she still could not recover from the feeling of failure. She knew that the past could not be altered; what’s done is done. Not even Julius Novachrono’s Time magic could accomplish that. And yet…she did nothing but wonder how she could do things differently, how she could’ve changed things, rather than accept the fact that she did everything she could. She held onto her grief like a crutch, refusing to let go of the one thing that gave her existence meaning.
But now, it wasn’t the only thing that fuelled her. She lost someone important, along with everybody else she had known being dead for centuries, but she had gained a few things, too. She had the satisfaction of finally putting a stop to Zagred, momentarily restoring her Prince, and saving the Clover Kingdom.
More importantly, she had the Black Bulls. New friends. A new purpose – to serve the Clover Kingdom under the banner of the Magic Knights to ensure that nothing like what happened to Licht and Lumiere would ever happen again. She could finally speak, finally express her thoughts to somebody other than herself. She had so much more than a compulsion to feel ashamed about all that she didn’t do, over things she did do. The things she accomplished.
After a moment of silence between them, a small smile tugged at the edges of her lips. She inched ever so closer to him.
‘You’re right, Asta. I just…refused to let myself be happy.’ She let out a beleaguered sigh. ‘I got to have my Prince back, even if it didn’t last. I felt like my old self again. Like Secre.’
He nodded, before furrowing his brow. ‘Oh right,’ he said, raising his chin. ‘That reminds me. I’ve, uh, I’ve been meaning to ask. Do you…want to be called Nero, or Secre? I’d understand if you wanted us to use your real name and not the one that Luck gave you.’
The raven-haired girl raised an eyebrow for a moment. She hummed, letting her eyes wander again. She looked him straight in the eye.
‘It’s Nero,’ she decided. ‘Secre…Secre was a lifetime ago. I have changed. I am not Secre Swallowtail anymore.’
There was also the fact that she actually liked the name “Nero” and had always been fond of it. That was why she responded to that name. She was not going to tell Asta her penchant towards the name, however. And “Bird boy” was simply a ridiculously unimaginative name, and not even accurate. Nevertheless, she did appreciate the thoughtfulness of asking her.
‘Okay! Nero it is then!’
She realised she hadn’t exactly been friendly during this exchange. Affection was not something Nero particularly enjoyed showing, especially not towards the boy she used to routinely peck on the head. However, as she watched his electric enthusiasm, it occurred to her that Asta was doing a thankless job here.
‘But I…I appreciate your asking.’ She averted his gaze. ‘Not everybody would.’ [1]
‘Sure, don’t mention it!’ he replied, smiling. ‘We’re friends, aren’t we? Friends always look out for each other! No matter class, creed or race!’
She simply stared at him, slightly slack-jawed. For the briefest of moments, she didn’t see him. She saw Lumiere Silvamillion Clover. She blinked, and she saw Asta once again. She saw his stupidly optimistic smile, his bright leaf-green eyes that harboured a kind soul with no ulterior motives behind them, and his fair blonde hair that was just as bright as Lumiere’s had been.
Her cheeks began to heat up uncontrollably. She looked away in a hurry, praying that Asta had not seen it.
‘Are you okay, Nero?’
She swallowed the air in her throat. ‘Yes. I’m fine. And…yes.’
‘What?’
‘Yes, we are friends.’
‘Awesome!’ He pumped his fists in excitement.
Nero looked at him.
Noelle was in love with Asta. That much was obvious. She didn’t tell Asta of course; it wasn’t her secret to tell. Even if Asta could be indescribably oblivious to the Silva girl’s feelings for him. Then again, Noelle’s most common reaction to whenever any supposed evidence of her crush was unveiled was to beat up or insult Asta in frustration. She did silently disapprove of that but, given how she liked to pinch his cheek (or peck), she wasn’t much better. Nero could not honestly blame Asta for possibly thinking that Noelle hated him, or at the very least disliked him. It didn’t excuse his obliviousness to Mimosa’s crush on him, though. Mimosa wore her heart on her sleeve just as much as he did, and although she lacked the courage to admit her feelings, she seldom tried to hide it. How he could be so much of an oblivious idiot would eternally elude her, but she supposed it was better than him being an intense womaniser like Finral.
Nero looked down at her feet. She knew she felt something for Asta, but she was not sure what it was. It was undeniable it was a more inchoate version of what she felt for her Prince, but in this case, Lumiere was years older than her, and Asta was (biologically speaking) two years younger than her. It was perhaps a little less taboo.
Could she call it love? No, probably not. At least not yet.
She’d known Asta for several months now, but that was far too early to know if “love” was the right word. Not only that, but centuries sealed into a bird form had made her far less emotional, as well as less emotionally aware. She wasn’t like Noelle. She didn’t get jealous like she did whenever Asta looked in another girl’s direction. Then again, she had attended one of those mixers they went to, much like Noelle, but that was because she was merely curious. And a part of her still longed for the satisfaction of offering service, whether it be as a royal servant or a barmaid.
Admittedly, she did not think that Asta was ugly. She thought he was…what was the word that Mariella girl had used? Dashing. That was it. Dashing. She thought Asta was dashing.
“Dashing” was probably a word most people would use to describe Asta’s rival and adoptive brother, Yuno. She could see why, but Nero herself didn’t see him that way. She thought his Wind magic was powerful, and she did take note of his intense desire to save innocent lives and his similar goal to become the Wizard King. She knew he worked hard, but she knew that Asta worked harder to get where he was. Yuno came from a humble background, but he got very, very lucky. She related more to Asta, for being born seemingly defective by most people’s definition, than Yuno, who was blessed with a rich amount of mana. He seemed like a good person, if a little arrogant and cocky. Plus, that wind spirit was annoying, but that wasn’t really Yuno’s fault.
There was an argument to be made that Asta also got lucky by receiving his five-leaf Grimoire. However, and Nero understood the ludicrousness of this, she honestly believed that Asta would have found a way to become a Magic Knight even without his Grimoire. Somehow. Besides, it wasn’t like he hadn’t earned that Grimoire by now.
Even if she didn’t like Yuno all that much, she understood that Yuno cared for Asta a great deal. He could be standoffish and slightly cold towards him, but so could she. Nero also understood that Yuno, despite believing that he would be the Wizard King, drove Asta to become more and work harder to achieve his dream. Almost every time he declared to Asta his intention to become the Wizard King, it was to push Asta beyond his limits. Admittedly, it wasn’t until Asta unlocked his Black Asta form did she consider that he had a real shot over Yuno of becoming the Wizard King.
She looked back at Asta. It seemed he had, for once, taken the hint and gone quiet to let her think. Not that she didn’t have a lot of time to think during her time as a bird.
‘Hey, Asta?’ she spoke up. Asta raised an eyebrow.
‘Yeah? What’s up, Nero?’
‘Thank you. For everything.’
Then she did something Asta had never seen before. She smiled at him. Now it was his turn to blush. He shook his head to will it away, reminding himself that Sister Lily was the woman for him and nobody else.
‘It’s no problem at all Nero!’ he exclaimed, grinning for the hundredth time today. ‘Like I said, it’s what friends do!’
Nero looked at him straight in the eye.
‘No.’
‘Um…what?’ stuttered Asta.
‘It isn’t simply what friends do for one another, Asta,’ she replied rather stoically. ‘You might have forgotten, but I have been watching you for a while. You endeavoured to help Noelle when you first met, and Fana, Mariella, Vetto, and Rhya. Were they your friends, at the time?’
‘Well, no, but –’
‘But you still helped them.’
‘Well…I don’t care if you disapprove, I –’
‘You misunderstand, Asta,’ she cut off. ‘I don’t disapprove. I merely wanted to point out…saying that it’s “what friends do” is underselling it entirely. You do this for everyone, Asta. That’s the kind of person you are. You care about everyone non-conditionally.’ She exhaled pensively through her nostrils. ‘You remind me of him.’
‘Who?’ he asked dumbly. Nero gave him a look. ‘Oh…you mean Lumiere.’
She nodded. ‘Yes.’ A tear escaped her eye, but she wiped it away immediately.
‘Oh, man, I’m so sorry Nero!’
‘No. It’s fine.’
‘I-If you want, I could –’
‘Asta. I said it’s fine. You haven’t done anything wrong.’ She stood up. ‘It’s a compliment, anyways. Lumiere always wanted a meritocracy. He would be proud of what you’re trying to accomplish.’
‘Wow…thanks so much Nero!’ said Asta ecstatically. ‘But, uh…what’s a mericrossy?’
She stifled a chuckle through her nose. ‘Meritocracy.’
With that, she transformed into her bird form and rested comfortably on the crown of his head.
‘You’re not gonna tell me?!’ he exclaimed animatedly. In response, Nero merely began pecking on his head. ‘Ow, ow, OW! C’mon! Give me a break here! NERO!’
She simply refused to stop pecking his head.
In the dead of night, the moon hung high behind the dark clouds. Its penumbra seeped through the navy-blue canvas, overwriting the small, twinkling stars in the sky. Crickets exchanged clicks and whitters, whilst the owls hooted and Yami’s pets snored from behind their cages.
On one of the many stone tiles, there perched an alabaster-bellied, rose-faced bird. A perpetual look of apathy lay on her wide face, staring out at the midnight bloom.
After fulfilling a promise to Asta to get something to eat from Charmy, instead of just hiding away and moping, she decided to spend some more time with them. She had been mostly quiet, as she was so commonly used to, but she occasionally made conversation – usually if she was spoken to directly. Nevertheless, her friends made an effort to include her. They usually did, but she suspected that Asta might have told them she was still feeling depressed and needed her friends to look out for her.
Admittedly, she silently appreciated that. Asta always went through great lengths just to make sure his friends were okay. In time, Nero knew that she would come to see her squad mates like a family. At the moment, they were coming pretty close. They seemed to be the only thing she had in this world.
Contrary to what others might think, Nero actually liked spending time as a bird. Being trapped in this form hadn’t been fun, of course, but she’d grown to accept her situation. When she finally regained the ability to become human, she found a level of fondness welled within her soul for the avian approach to life. Flight wasn’t the only thing; it was the peacefulness, free from judgement or the grotesqueries of human nature. Few people thought much of Nero the anti-bird, but so many people hated and despised Nero the Forbidden magic user for the simple offence of existing.
She also liked spending time in Asta’s hair, as strange as such a statement might be. She suspected Asta wouldn’t actually mind if Nero sat on his head in human form instead – knowing him, he would take it as an opportunity to do reps with extra weight.
Noelle would get insufferably jealous, screaming about the indecency and her disgust towards them for doing such “inappropriate things” whilst in the presence of royalty. Gauche would probably remark that it was fine, but Asta better not think about having Marie do it too. Yami would probably say something along the lines of, “I don’t really care, even if it is a little weird.” Charmy would likely suggest that Asta should do reps whilst balancing her food on his head, whilst also warning him that she’d be very angry if he spilled any of it. Grey would probably be hiding her face, reiterating Noelle’s sentiment about it being indecent, but without the jealous royalty complex. Vanessa might make some flirtatious remark for both Asta and Nero to ignore, after which Finral would try to flirt with her before reminding himself that he was technically spoken for. Magna might comment that it was manly for Asta to be so focussed on training that a girl casually sitting on his head didn’t distract him. Luck would probably ignore the whole thing and ask Yami once again if he wanted to spar. Gordon would likely offer to replace Nero because Asta was his dear friend. She wasn’t sure what Henry would say, if he were even there, but she was certain that Zora would have little to no comment to make.
Perhaps she should actually do that just to see if her predictions were accurate. Nero didn’t think she was that much of a mischievous person, but she couldn’t live the rest of her life being totally miserable. Asta had convinced her of that. And he could probably hold her weight on his head anyway.
Not that Nero was one for showing affection, especially while in her human form.
She flapped her wings and hopped off the edge of the stone. She circled the Black Bulls Headquarters a few times, gliding gracefully around until she found what she was looking for.
Asta’s room, reconstructed fairly recently [2], was always noticeable for its writing desk sat flush against the window. Nero could reliably find it no matter how often Henry altered the layout of the building. She soared through the open window and landed on the desk. Asta was sleeping, snoring pleasantly to himself in his bed. His loud snoring used to be yet another source of frustration for her, a reason for her to peck him incessantly, but now, Nero sort of just learned to accept it.
She hooted quietly to herself. Admittedly, she was feeling tired. Yeah, Nero could have gone to her own room, but right now, she was too lazy to do even that.
Out of laziness, or perhaps some other reason, Nero flew over to Asta’s bed and nestled herself on his pillow. Asta stirred a little and moved over, his shut eyes now facing her. She shifted, scratching an itch in her neck with her talons, before shifting a little closer to him.
Nero let out a sigh of contentment and closed her eyes. She may not yet know what the future might hold for her, but she could be sure of one thing. She was not alone.