Work Text:
"Michael stop!"
"What? You said you like it when I get handsy. I'm getting handsy! Here are my hands"
God forbid Michael realizes how horny you are. He'll start at it even worse.
"Look, yes Michael. I like it and I would love it any other time but right now! We're almost-!"
REEEEEEEGHHHHHHHHKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!
The sudden shrieking sounds of metal on metal. The drop in your stomach as the floor lurches below you…
You and Michael Scott had been sharing an elevator on the way up to a meeting, and now it seemed like you were stuck in one together.
Michael was your secret boyfriend.
You couldn't bear letting people know you fancied him, let alone were having a sexual relationship with him. Michael was the butt of every joke, and so would you be too if the word got put that you willingly bedded him without the assistance of alcohol, and more than once at that.
When Michael realizes that the elevator is stuck, he starts to freak out, starts banging on the door hard enough you'd think the two of you were running low on air.
All you can think to do is walk up behind him, watching so as to not get hit by his flailing arms. You wrap your arms around him from behind and even then it takes a minute before he stops vibrating with anxiety. No one's ever tried to calm Michael down with calm, physical contact, you were sure of that, but you decided to go ahead and try it anyway, it was an excuse to touch him after all.
"Sit down Michael, I'm worried you're going to faint…"
And when he refuses…
"Michael when people faint, they run out of air quicker."
This gets his to vibrate again but at least he finally sits down.
He mutters a quiet "what?" As you lay him across your lap, directing him to lay on his back with his head on your thighs. He's too zoned out from fight or flight to realize at first how intimate the gesture is. As his eyes adjust past their quivering fervor, he looks up at you finally, focusing on your warm smile beaming back at him.
"This is nice…" he says and awkwardly tries to cup your face from where he's lying. Instead, you grab his hand and squeeze it, holding it captive to stop his fidgeting.
With your free hand you smooth his hair across his forehead. It's soft and you can smell the light citrus perfume from the shampoo you bought him. After only one use he had told you it was all he would be buying from now on.
"Just relax. I'm here with you Michael, we aren't going to die, I promise."
"You know who also says that!? Dead people!"
"Ok Michael…"
Your soft, petting hand finds its way to Michael's face and your fingers trace over his moist lips, he instinctively flicks out his tongue to meet it and you realize again exactly how horny you are.
Michael is recounting some terrible joke that Jim told him when you decide to let your hand wander down to Michael's tie, slowly working to loosen it so you can ultimately slip your hand down the front of Michael's white shirt
"Ohhh, naughty naughty!" Michael suddenly says in an offensive imitation of someone of Indian descent.
"Shh, just be quiet Michael." You shush him and your other hand curls back around his face, massaging his lips before two eager fingers push their way inside "mmpfh" replies as you thrust two taut digits to the hilt into his waiting mouth.
It's so lewd like this and you suddenly feel really high in the heat of the moment. You're casually finger fucking your bosses' mouth in a stalled elevator. Michael had been feeling you up on the way to the meeting, and you had been worried that someone would end up seeing, but now the two of you were alone for an indeterminate amount of time and your brain began to pontificate on the possibilities.
“Michael can I…”
But you don't give him a chance to speak, your fingers massaging the top and bottom of his tongue as he lets it awkwardly lash around, not knowing what to do.
Your other hand moves to the front of his shirt and quickly begins to under the snap buttons disguised as eyelet buttons (Michael finds it hard to undo eyelet buttons) and wiggle the free hand of yours right inside to feel Michael’s hot skin through just the thing veneer of his ribbed undershirt.
“Mmmf~!” he yelps out around your lathing digits as your fingers grazes over one of his nipples, making his whole body seize.
“Shhh, baby. I wanna touch you Michael…”
You watch him blush and writhe under your domineering touch, feel his nipple grow taut with every new tease. Withdrawing your hand from his face, you lean down over him, your hair draping the both of you in a warm bough of auburn tresses.
“You stopped hyperventilating Michael” you say and smile down at him. He looks up at you and grimaces a bit.
“Sorry that’s a thing I do.” he says and when you see his frown increasing even further it tugs at you in a painful sort of way. Why isn’t Michael capable of being happy, even around you, the one person he seems to be the least skittish around.
“It’s okay Michael, you know….” You’re trying to find the right words to talk to this unstable manchild in your arms…
“I’m not gonna try to change you. And I don’t think there’s much wrong with you to begin with. No more than myself.”
“The office doesn't seem to think so…” he fires back and there's a pouty tone to his reply which makes you smile internally. Michael must not be feeling anxious anymore, because now he’s being petty and childish instead. The smile finds its way to your face and you lean forward as far as you can, not far enough to capture Michael’s lips, but far enough to take his large nose in your mouth, as you’ve done so many times before after showing Michael this unique flirtation.
“Take me to your leader!” Michael immediately shouts and his voice comes out nasally and high, just like the popular archetype of invading aliens. You let go of his nose to laugh, somewhat still in his face as the two of you bust a mutual gut over what others would call cringe.
Just then –
“Hello!?” A voice from above, the two of you freeze
“Hello, this is the elevator technician, Jason. I’m here to reset the elevator so we can get you folks moving again. It’ll take about 3 minutes and then we’ll have you on your way
Michael is still laying in your arms, dazed and with a wet nose, but he soon rises from the floor and dusts himself off. You stop his hands when he starts to button his top, instead taking over for him. You diligently snap each button into itself with a methodical, measured pace. You can’t help teasing him, it’s really just that easy to get under his skin.
After you reach the top button and snap it in place, you look up and meet Michael’s eyes. The two of you are so close now, sharing breath, and you can tell it’s got your boss flustered, twitterpated even. You lean in closer and snatch him by the collar you just buttoned, yanking the first one away. For less than one hot minute you kiss Michael deeply and earnestly, this time giving him the opportunity to moan out around your lips and invading tongue.
“Ahh~!” he yelps out as you suddenly move from his lips to his neck, pulling down his collar to nip at his nape.
DING~!
The elevator seems to start again all on its own, beginning to move upwards again as it whirs and creaks.
Michaels stiffens but you continue lavishing his neck.
“Y/N~! We have to-”
*DING~!*
By the time the doors slide open, it’s as if nothing has happened. The only subtle sign being that Michael is blushing red hot and his hair is still a bit ruffled as you both step out of the elevator, beginning to walk towards your destination. Right before you enter the meeting room together you lean over and whisper in Michael’s ear.
“Let’s hang out tonight? Okay? I’ll wait for you after work.”
“Okay!” Michael replies and if he had a tail, he’d have started wagging it, because that’s just that type of silly puppy he was.