Work Text:
One day miles Edgeworth got a suspiciously flat package delivered to his office. He could not remember ordering anything, so he was rather curious about its insides.
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he picked up his box opener and carefully removed the tape. he opened the box only to see a cardboard cutout of himself!
the cutout jumped up and screamed.
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"WHAT THE FUCK" cardboard edgeworth shouted. "wait why are you the one surprised? i am supposed to be the one giving the interjection in this situation!!" said normal edgeworth with flesh and blood.
they went to the steel samurai convetion
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Miles had to hold the cardboard Miles all the time during the convention. This was very inconvenient, people were hurt, 3 people died while he was turning rapidly and smacked with cardboard Miles.
'You need to be more careful'
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Said the cardboard miles, "I'm not going to be held responsible for this." However, since the japanafornia court system is broken and unfair, cardboard miles was charged with the murder of the three people.
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Meanwhile Miles found himself whisked off to an awards show, it was the Oscars.
"Why have I been brought here, shouldn't I be questioned in relation to that cardboard cutout's crimes?"
You're here to receive an Oscar," replied the presentor.
"I'm a lawyer not an aco
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actor. Miles was unwittingly pushed on stage to receive the award. it was BEST ACTOR OF THE YEAR!!!!! miles was confused.
Chris Pratt gave Miles the Oscars trophy thing. "how do you feel about winning" he asked.
Miles said "i dont know about acting but i love winning" the crowd gave a standing ovation and
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then he got back in his car and he drove back home with weezer on the aux and the oscar in his passenger seat.
But while eating dinner all alone in the afternoon he felt like he was missing something. His other, flatter, half...
He wanted to drive to prison to bail out the cardboard cutout but then he met chris pratt who said that the oscar wasnt actually for him but then h
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ulk hogan burst from the car next to his and told him to pursue his other half, to save him from the corruption and promptly disappeared because Hulk Hogan isn't a real human being. Edgewoth floored ir and drove to the prison, desperatr to save cardvoard
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cutout Edgeworth. He threw the door to the prison open and pushed past all the guards who were mostly just confused. Once he found his 2 dimensional partner's cell he tore the bars apart with his very well known hulk level strength. He rushed in and embraced with his cardboard self and they ran out of the prison together. Once they made it to Miles' car they finally relaxed. "Its finally over..." Edgeworth sighed. He started to drive off into the sunset.