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Huddled in the dark. Glazed eyes reflecting a character traversing through a murky and unknown world. The only sound was the quiet clicking and tapping of fingers against keyboard and mouse, the faint sound of ambiance bleeding through the edges of her headphones. The floor was covered with dirty clothes and discarded needs.
To any onlooker, it must have seemed a dreadful way to live. But for Nene, this might as well be living itself. At least on days like today, lazy Sundays without direction or purpose.
Others would judge her for it, certainly. Rui certainly had a habit of gently expressing concern over her excessive gameplay habits, especially when she was in a mood like this. If Tsukasa found out he would openly chide her, at which point she would punt him into the nearest landfill (in her mind, at least). Emu… she didn’t know how Emu would react. Maybe she wouldn’t even notice anything was wrong. Nene almost laughs at the thought. Emu always knew when something was wrong. One of her many talents.
And what of Nene’s?
It wasn’t as if she was useless. She was a good singer. She’d grown comfortable enough acting with everybody on stage, at least for now. Her grades were fine - not top of the class, but comfortable. And, of course, she could game. She was half-certain she was born with a controller in one hand and a fight stick in the other. But would that ever get her anywhere?
She still struggled with strangers, or just about any physical activity. When the time came to graduate and enter the “real world”... what would she do? Sing in front of her office boss? Act out schedules for coworkers? Memos couldn’t be written with combo commands. Those weren’t real world skills. If she stayed in the performance industry and traveled far and wide like she dreamed, then maybe she wouldn’t have to worry about that. But that was a big maybe. She knew what the industry was like: pirates were less cutthroat. When she faced all her existential fears, what was she supposed to do about it? On days like today, when she could do nothing but stare at the screen and stew in her feelings?
…
…
Her eyes did not blink as she watched her game character wander back and forth on screen.
It was a little indie game called BrightDark. In it, you commanded a small child named Hoshi through a world that was on the verge of ruin. All the people they encountered were kind and warm, despite the universe’s despondence. What Hoshi was doing there, how they got there in the first place, and even their goals were slowly revealed to the player over time. In the end, the player must help Hoshi decide whether to restore the world or to finally destroy it so they can build a new one in its place.
It was one of Nene’s favorites. She first played it when it was twelve, and it became a huge influence on her. But right now, it was hard to remember those tingly sentiments she got playing it the first time. She was just kind of numbly going through the motions.
She’d wondered what it was like to live in this world, slowly crumbling beyond anyone’s control, offered a second chance to thrive and blossom. Sometimes she thought of herself as Hoshi, the one traversing the decrepit barrens, lamenting all that had passed. Other times, she thought of herself as one of the denizens Hoshi meets, doing her best to hold on to hope and good will even as everything falls apart. And other times, she simply imagined herself as herself - the player, the overseeing god who would ultimately determine the world’s fate. A dramatic way to phrase it, perhaps, but it felt good, being able to make a difference. Having control.
That was why Nene liked fighting games so much. You always had control. Your character moved exactly as you inputted them, responded like an extension of your own arm. People who saw them as button-mashers didn’t understand the beauty of the dance. Nene could never handle Nene Kusanagi. She was skittish, reclusive, and had her brain pile up with thoughts until the pipeline between her mind and her mouth was all clogged up. But she could handle Ryu or Jin or Sol - fictional characters who operated purely on her own abilities. Things within her control.
That was the magic of video games. A painting was a pleasure for the eyes; a song, for the ears. A movie or tv show tickled both at the same time. But games combined all of those at the same time and involved the audience in a way no other medium could. You didn’t merely watch characters explore the world or fight the evils that plagued it - you were those characters, doing the right thing, making a difference. All it was missing was touch, taste, and smell - which would undoubtedly be implemented into VR at some point. Other art forms were reflections of life, but video games could be a substitution for it.
She knew the average person would see that as a terribly sad thing, an isolating, limited view of reality. But Nene had long grown used to her solitude: raised in it, molded by it. To exist in this world was to exist as herself, flawed and introverted - to exist in another would be to be anything she could imagine. From her computer she could be so much more than Nene Kusanagi.
Shouldn’t that be wonderful?
…
…
She really should stop thinking so much.
…
…
…
Rapid-fire knocking on her bedroom door.
Nene had at this point begun to recognize the specific knocks of people when they came to her door. Her parents knocked normally. Rui drummed with a specific rhythm they had agreed upon when they were kids, like a secret handshake. Tsukasa hammered like each pounding of the hand was against a clarion bell announcing to the world his majesty and might. And the one who pelted the door a dozen times like a machine gun hyped up on caffeine was–
“NENE-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! WONDERHOOOOOOOOY~!”
Nene barely had time to swivel in her chair as Emu thrust the door open and immediately cannonballed towards her with the force of a glittery rhino. Nene scrambled to grab onto her, like a baseball catcher trying to stop a bowling ball before it hit the pins - in the blink of an eye, the whirling mass of pink had crashed in her arms.
“Great job, Nene-chan!” cried Emu, giving her a thumbs up and a XD face.
“Did my parents let you in? D-Did you jump from the doorway…?” asked Nene. “That would be a world record long jump…” I think. I don’t watch the Olympics.
“Hey hey, Nene-chan!” Emu continued, marching to the beat of her own drum as always. “What are you doing today? Do you wanna hang out???” Her eyes sparkled like a kindergartner seeing candy.
“Y-You could just text me to ask, you know…”
“But that’s not as fun as seeing you!” Emu’s arms waved frantically. “Do you wanna go to Phoenix Wonderland?”
“We go there five days a week already,” said Nene, feeling a smile beginning to form on her lips.
“It doesn’t have to be there! We can go to the candy store or the arcade or the movies or the cat cafe or the music shop or SEKAI or or or or or!!!” Emu’s mouth was now moving at a speed too fast to register words, producing sounds equivalent to a keyboard smash.
“Remember to breathe,” said Nene.
Emu took a huge gulp of air. “Let’s hang out!!!”
“W-Well, I, uh…” Nene was right in the middle of the game, and wanted to finish the whole thing today if she could. It felt important, somehow. “I’m… kinda busy today.”
Suddenly, Emu’s million-watt energy toned down by around 90%. “Is something wrong?”
“H-Huh? No, I’m fine…”
“Are you sure?” Emu’s frown was just as exaggerated as her smile. “You look sad…”
“Sad?” Nene forced a grin. “I’m fine.”
She could tell she was about as convincing as Tsukasa saying he was the humblest man on the planet. Emu’s concern appeared to be broken up via distraction, however. “It’s dark!”
“Y-Yeah?” said Nene. “I tend to–”
Before she could finish, Emu leapt out of her arms and drew the curtains in one smooth motion. The light burned Nene’s eyes, and she could feel herself shrivel a bit, silently hissing. “There we go! Hihihi, Mr. Sun!” said Emu cheerily.
“Emu, I–”
“Ooooo, what are you playing?” asked Emu, her eyes glued to one of Nene’s monitors.
“I-It’s a game called BrightDark. Don’t change the sub–”
“BRIGHTDARK? WHAT’S IT ABOUT???” Telling Emu Otori to calm down and stay on subject was easier than getting a hot air balloon to go to Pluto.
“Y-You play this star named Hoshi and explore a dark world that’s… in bad shape,” said Nene, watching Emu’s joyous curiosity turn to sudden sorrow. “B-But don’t worry! Hoshi makes it better by the end.”
Emu’s smile returned a bit. “Really? How?”
“Well… er…” Nene scrambled to organize her thoughts. “They, um… they talk to the people of the world and try to solve their problems… giving them drinking water, resolving disputes…”
“Uh huh, uh huh…”
“A-And it helps out at first, but then it seems like everything is hopeless.”
“Oh no!!!”
“B-But! Then Hoshi is given a way to either restore the world, or to completely destroy it so they can build a new, even better one.”
“Ooooooo…!”
“And i-it makes the player think about how they would change the world, too. If everything is about to be gone for good, would they bring things back to the way they were? Or would they make an even better world from the ashes? It really makes you think, and it’s super emotional, and–” Nene caught herself. “S-Sorry, I’m rambling.”
“I like it when you ramble, Nene-chan!” said Emu warmly. “It sounds sooooooooo cool! Can I watch?”
“Oh! Uh, but…” Nene fidgeted in her seat. “I thought you wanted to do something today.”
“This is doing something!”
“But…” Nene squirmed harder. “Is it? We’re just kind of… sitting…”
“So?” asked Emu, craning her neck. “It’s what you like to do, isn’t it? It makes you happy, right?”
“Well… yeah…”
“Then it makes me happy too!” Emu hugged her tightly. “As long as we’re together, I don’t care what it is!”
“E-Emu…” Nene’s brain told her she was too close, but her heart said she wasn’t close enough. “You… you’re really kind.”
Emu pulled back and looked quizzical. “So are you, Nene-chan! I’m not sure why you said that right now, though.”
Nene laughed. “Never mind. Oh, and can you do something for me?”
Emu, hands on hips, tilted her head. “What is it?”
“Come in close. I’ll whisper it.”
Emu bent her head low to Nene’s lips. But instead of her ear, Nene went for her cheek, planting a quick, shy kiss.
“Thank you.”
Emu turned as pink as her hair, her smile melting into a beam thrice as big as her face. “Nene-chan…!”
And she returned the favor. On Nene’s lips.
It was Nene’s turn to become flushed - but her eyes were shaking not with joy but embarrassment. “W-Wait, Em–”
Too late. Emu kissed her again and again and again and again and again until Nene had dissolved into a gamer-shaped puddle on the floor. And Emu kept going. Finally, she let up her barrage and squeezed Nene so tight that her bones popped. “Nene-chan! I love yoooooou!”
Nene, her lips tingly and numb, didn’t know quite how to handle the waves of emotion washing through her. But with whatever strength she had, she squeezed back. “I… love you too.”
A couple minutes later and they were both seated in front of Nene’s PC, shoulder-to-shoulder, sharing their warmth. The world of the screen seemed a bit brighter than it had before.
Games could substitute some part of her life, perhaps.
But not this.