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Keigo stared with teary wide eyes in absolute disbelief at icy eyes that held not just anger, but pain.
Old, unspoken pain that had finally surfaced during their latest, current argument.
“Touya-“
“Keigo.” His voice was firm as he repeated himself. “Pick: me or them.”
‘Them’. He couldn’t tell if he meant the Hero Public Safety Commission or the people in general, but he knew what either meant.
“Please.” His voice trembled. “You. You know what being a hero means to me-“
“More than me?”
“No!”
“Then make up your mind!”
“I can’t!”
“Fine.” The finality in his tone was rightfully intimidating. “I will.”
It’s been three months since Touya left.
Keigo’s only relief was that they had chosen a small, simple house, nothing too large for him to feel too small and alone in.
Keigo stared at the couch for a moment, its bare state almost foreign as he finally took a moment to register it.
It had been this way for almost the whole three months, but with how Hawks had been recently, always on the move and dealing with this villain or that patrol, he was rarely ever in the small house to do more than shower, change uniform so the prior can be swiftly put to wash, and fly off.
Touya always teased him about making nests around the house, using a mixture of their clothes and the afghans Rei had gifted them.
Maybe he’d be glad I stopped that?
It was a bitter thought, especially when he remembered Touya telling him about nests being a bird thing for their claimed ‘home’.
With all the afghans packed away and the nests all entirely gone, it was clear this 'home' had been reduced to the same 'house' state as Hawks' prior living space.
It was more accurate, even, to call it his 'storage' space.
He had also stopped cluttering the dining room with new shiny trash; small rocks, bottle caps, colorful wrappers.
A few rocks were, painfully, from Touya, alongside a broken red ornament Touya had done a bit of heat work on to flatten jagged edges into the current open base. He just couldn't bring himself to handle more than the wrappers right now, the trash having been rather colorful from that last week, despite what his 'specialist' therapist the HPSC was providing had asked of him.
“Such a li’l bird,” Touya had purred while watching Keigo eagerly examine the ornament, back when he had initially given it to Keigo, “lighting up over such a thing.”
Keigo needed to stop thinking about any of that and get himself going toward his ‘declawing’ appointment.
He’d lost enough time and sleep to those old memories as-is.
The HPSC hadn’t approved of Hawks having a relationship to begin with anyway.
Touya had even been rightfully suspicious that they had given Hawks more to do after they began to see each other, but Hawks had brushed the suspicions off.
Now that he was single and willingly plunging deeper into hero work, suddenly they seemed low on tasks to assign.
Maybe Touya was right?
As Hawks flew toward the medical specialist’s, his focus was torn between flight and thought as he flew slower than usual, for his own safety’s sake.
Or so he thought.
Before he knew it, Hawks felt a searing fiery pain from several feathers all at once, causing him to fling backwards in confusion, knocking the air out of himself as his back hit the wall of a taller building.
“Hawks!” Burnin’?
“Watch yourself!” There was no way Hawks wouldn’t recognize Dabi’s voice, a burst of blue flames frying a second fiery arrow that had been coming Hawks’ way. “Get outta here!”
“Don’t say that!”
The woman they were after had a rather unique-looking bow and arrows, likely made to work with the low flames she had going on her hands to enhance and use them without being reduced to ash too quickly.
She giggled. “I’m in the mood for fried chicken!”
Hawks would've made his leave at Dabi's order, but he had shed several feathers to keep the flames from taking too many, and was still catching his breath.
“As am I.” Hawks sent feathers at the gruff female voice, but to no avail.
They tinked off metallic skin, all as a large fist closed around Hawks’ neck swiftly, eliciting a gasp from him.
She was well-muscled, huge because of them, and tall, holding Keigo a full two feet off the ground just to be at eye level. “I’ll squeeze the air out,” she stated, “and she’ll fry you, puny bird.”
“Mayh, maybe another day?” Hawks struggled to even grab at her metallic hand holding his throat with his smaller gloved ones. “I, running late, for an, ahppointment-“
“Seems you shall have to reschedule. Or perhaps cancel.”
“Let go of him!” Hawks wanted to look toward Dabi, but there was no voluntary readjusting in this position.
“Make me.”
“Yeah!” The archer laughed hysterically.
Hawks’ feathers detected the swift movement of five flaming arrows, all directed toward Dabi and Burnin’. He sent a feather to intercept each one, despite the searing heat he knew would result as they were reduced to ash.
“Hawks!” He could’ve sworn Dabi sounded concerned, but it was likely just irritation that Hawks' hopes were misreading.
Dabi left him, after all.
He didn’t want Hawks.
“Tiny bird.” The grip at his throat tightened, leaving him struggling to even gasp for air, let alone swallow.
No one wanted him.
He was just a tool.
Nothing more.
His wings slumped, half-touching the ground.
“Drop him!”
Hawks felt his eyelids fluttering shut as his hearing began to go, all as his strength left his arms.
He’d gone so long without proper sleep.
Maybe some rest wouldn’t hurt.
Not like he could do much else in his current position, anyway.
“…not doing it!”
Touya?
“But his appointment-“
“Let him fucking rest!”
What was he snapping at her about?
Who is she, anyway?
Appointment-?
Keigo groaned.
“Dove?”
‘Dove’? His tongue must’ve slipped, to be calling Keigo that, and with such a concerned voice-
It irritated him. “Hawks.” He sounded weak, but he was also just regaining consciousness and struggling against a breathing tube. “My appointment-“
“Can wait.” Why was Dabi looking at him like that?
“No.” Hawks glared at those god-awfully pretty eyes. “I delay it any, any longer-“
“What’s so important you can’t cut yourself a damn break after being choked out?!” There it was. He sounded entirely annoyed now.
“My declawing.”
Dabi’s eyes widened. “Kei-“
“Hawks.” Why did this guy have to switch so easily from annoyance to pain?!
“Why?”
“They’re… Unappealing. Just like the commission, they say.”
Dabi shook his head. “But they’re part of you-!”
“That I keep having to cover.” Hawks tried to ignore the way those lips pursed, and how worried Dabi looked. “Get this done, continue my biweekly plucking-“
Dabi couldn’t believe it.
The HPSC had him doing those for his tail, before they started dating and Touya talked him out of it.
“Rei’s afghans are packed." Dabi was snapped back from his thoughts. "Been. Waiting for you.”
So the nests were gone, too.
“The. The dining room-?”
“Kinda. Kinda cleaned up.” Hawks’ glare had slowly faded as he had been speaking, and now came a forced chuckle. “The wrappers are gone. A start-“
Dabi clung to him, his chair clattering to the floor behind him while the nurse took a surprised step back.
“Stop.”
“Dabi.” Hawks wanted to press him away, but the familiar warmth, and the welcoming scent that had long faded from that small house, only had him fighting tears. “Please. It, it already hurt when you. When you left.”
“I’m sorry-“
“I can’t. Can’t do it again.” That breakup had taken such a toll, a second time would be too much.
“You won’t.”
“Then leave.” Dabi let go, pulling himself back in confusion. “I’m not meant for you. For anyone. I’m just meant to be alone and do my hero work.”
Dabi bit at his bottom lip before looking back at the nurse. “You can’t just cancel it?”
She clearly wasn’t ready for that, taking a moment to blink confusedly at him.
Hawks’ eyes remained on him. “Dabi-“
“You are in no position to be requesting so on his behalf, Dabi.” She sounded a bit shaken, but her tone was becoming firm. “From the sounds of it, you have no relation to-“
“Who’s listed in his records?”
The nurse rose a brow, but she began to walk toward the door. “I’ll check.”
Touya felt some hope surface when he saw Hawks’ eyes widen, brows furrowing up.
“You didn’t get around to removing me, did you?”
Touya Todoroki was still in his files as the sole go-to if anything were to happen to Hawks.
His emergency number and voice.
Despite them not being married, with Hawks having no siblings, a jailed father, and a mother he never put on those files, they had made the exception with the reluctant approval of the HPSC.
“Finally trying, trying to move on..!” Hawks moved to leave the bed, but Dabi was quick to catch him by the shoulders.
“You’re not supposed to leave the bed, Keigo-“
“Hawks!” He knew he was crying now, and his pulse monitor was likely alerting staff. “Stop! Just, stop pretending you care! Stop acting like you ever did!”
“I do-!”
“Then why’d you try t’ make me choose?!” It hurt to force so much out, but he didn’t care. “How did you leave so easily?!” He wanted it clear how he felt. “You, you’ve haunted me! Every day!”
Why was Dabi tearing up now, too? He had no right to be this upset.
“Yes, I was going slow! Yeah, I got hit! Because I was so fucking wrapped up in thinking about you again!”
“I’ve been thinking about you a lot, too.”
“You left me-!”
“And I regret it.” He gently cupped Keigo’s cheeks. “I missed your little chirps. Your nests you made everywhere you liked to sit. Your bottle caps and rocks, even the wrappers. The way you’d insist on snuggling every chance we got.” He removed Hawks’ gloves, then gently pecked a filed, rounded talon. “Your cute li’l tail and talons.”
They weren’t rounded like this when we were dating-
It brought a fiery urge forth to go find whoever had Keigo feel like he had to do this to himself.
But not now. He couldn't just storm out on a wild goose chase like that when Keigo was like this.
Not when they needed this talk.
“I missed you.”
Keigo couldn’t help the whimper that came from his throat. “I’m just gonna hurt you again..!”
Despite them both being heroes, Dabi had made time for him; he had done patrols in shifts, and let others handle smaller crimes.
Hawks, however, struggled to say no to his hero work.
“We’ll work more together this time. Chase down the same villains, catch breaks together, make time for each other.”
“What if we can’t? Maybe I’m just meant to be alone.”
“No, you’re not-“
“My own parents never wanted me. All my time went to training and hero work before you. You, you were the first person to ever get so close with me.”
“And I still wanna be. Please.”
“I failed you-“
Touya wrapped his arms around Keigo’s shoulders gently. “No, dove. I failed you. And I’m sorry. I’ll do better this time.”
He could feel Keigo’s hands feeling around shakily, grabbing at the sheets before one found a glove.
“Let your hands breathe for a moment, at least.”
“They don’t need t’ see that.”
Keigo had picked up on the staff members making their way to his door before one opened it.
“What are you doing, Dabi? If you’re causing him distress, you need to leave.”
“Sorry.” Yet as soon as he let go of Keigo, arms wrapped around his waist, holding him there. “Hawks?”
“Stay. Please.” He had dropped the glove back onto the bed, and his wings had tried to cocoon around them, despite being in a smaller state. “I. Please, call me Keigo again." His forehead was pressed against Touya's chest. "I’m sorry for being so selfish-“
“You aren’t.” He combed his hands through messy feathery hair. “You weren’t.”
“Dabi?”
He glanced toward the doctor standing at the door. “Seems if I leave now, he’s gonna get more upset. Just had a bit of a needed talk and he got a bit worked up.”
“Hawks?”
Keigo’s grip on the back of Touya’s hero uniform tightened. “Don’t take him, please.”
“We won’t.”
“I. I don’t wanna get declawed anymore.”
“It’s alright, Hawks.” The doctor sounded sympathetic. “I’ll go cancel your procedure.”
“Thank you.”
After the staff left, Touya glanced over at one of Keigo’s wings. “Relax, Keigo. I’m not leaving.”