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"Fear toxin outbreak uptown," Oracle buzzed in Dick's right ear. "Waiting for more accurate news, but it seems to be coming from the building across from Farin's Grill. " Dick started running across the roof he was on and launched himself down onto a sub. Scarecrow usually required everyone on patrol. They needed to arrest Scarecrow, come up with new antidotes and do crowd control.
"Nooo!" Spoiler moaned into the comms, "She gives us free slushies!"
"Oh, that's the place with the rib challenge, isn't it?" Red Robin responded, sounding just as upset as Spoiler.
Dick had reached his bike, Wingcycle, and was roaring down the street. Farin's Grill had only been in Gotham for a year, yet Dick had been there countless times, stopping robberies and the occasional rogue. As a thank you, Farin let them have free slushies whenever they stopped by.
Dick pulled his spare rebreathers out of the storage space in Wingcycle. You never knew how many rebreathers you would need for Scarecrow. He just hoped that whatever new kind of toxin Scarecrow had concocted would not be violence-inducing. Civilians were hard enough to deal with as is, let alone while kicking and screaming bloody murder.
“Red Robin and Spoiler are on location,” Oracle informed him through the comms. Batman and Robin had gone home early, and Hood was currently locked in the medbay with a stab wound. That left Dick in charge of Orphan, Red Robin and Spoiler.
“Alright,” Dick said, forming a temporary plan of action, “Red, start testing the toxin and look for the effects and an antidote. Spoiler, you’re on civilian safety and crowd control.” Spoiler grumbled, and Red let out an aye-aye. She might not like it, but Spoiler was good with crowds. She was loud and confident and had a strong Gotham accent that the people trusted. Dick turned a sharp corner and almost hit a Honda civic. Almost. He could see people fleeing the street with rebreathers in their mouths and a thin green mist surrounding the area. Spoiler was at the entrance to the building, a block of apartments, herding the residents out. Someone had run out holding an adorable little kitten in their arms. His comms buzzed again.
“Nightwing and Orphan on location.” Dick looked around for Orphan but couldn’t see her. He wasn’t a fan of coming up with plans, but Bruce had trained him well enough to already have one in his head.
“Red Robin, please report your findings.”
“Umm…It’s just a normal toxin. No added side effects or ingredients.”
That’s weird. Scarecrow was always trying to make new gasses that could disturb the mind and slip through filters. And he would always test them in public spaces.
“Spoiler, report. Where is the gas coming from?”
“The gas is in one of the penthouses,” Dick jumped off his bike and grappled up, waving at Spoiler. “Everyone in the building was evacuated apart from one lady on the top floor. A few people were hallucinating slightly, but otherwise fine.”
“Thanks, Spoiler. Please evacuate adjacent buildings too. Orphan, help me bust into the penthouses and find Crane.” This seemed like a personal attack on someone, so he would be here. Probably for the lady who didn’t come out. “Red is gonna wait just down the stairs for us to find the lady and then give her the antidote. Everyone good?”
A chorus of yeps followed. Dick popped his rebreather on and found an open window. The apartment was empty, so he moved on to the next one.
“Hey, O, do we know who the woman still here is?” He asked Oracle, carefully inspecting another apartment.
“There are three women who live on the top floor, and I'm trying to see if any have connections to Dr Crane.” Dick could hear her typing away as she continued, “I’ll let you know what I find.”
Orphan came out of the apartment across from Dick with a rebreather mask over her normal one. She pointed silently to a door down the hall. As they crept closer, Dick could hear the tell-tale buzz of a man talking. Scarecrow’s rasping, cracked voice sent shivers down his spine. Dr Jonathan Crane had made it his life's work to figure out what scared people the most. What gave them nightmares and haunted their thoughts long after encountering him. His terrifying voice and look were all meant to live in your head and paralyse you with fear.
He and Orphan were on either side of the door frame, attempting to listen in to the conversation behind the door.
Oracle let out a hum, meaning she'd pieced something together. "He must be with Dr Linda Thell. She taught at Gotham Uni alongside Crane and it looks like they didn't get along well."
She hadn't liked the creep who was obsessed with human fear and was also slightly murder-happy? Shocker.
"Thanks, O. We're going in. I'll keep Crane busy and Orphan, you'll direct the woman to Tim and then help arrest. "
Dick counted down on his fingers for Orphan to see. Three, two, one.
He kicked down the door and zeroed in on Scarecrow. He had cornered the woman and loomed over her like the grim reaper. The sackcloth hood and long dark robe didn't do anything in his favour.
"Hey Jono! Looking as ominous as always."
Crane immediately started moving toward him and away from Dr Linda. "You know if I was a crow I'd definitely be terrified right now." Crane had jumped over the couch and attempted what would have been a solid punch if Dick hadn't gracefully jumped to the side.
"Too bad I'm more of a Robin." Dick jumped behind him and went to kick his side. Scarecrow had quickly recovered his balance and Dick's kick, while probably incredibly painful, didn't move him from his stance. Somehow while studying for a PhD and playing with drugs, Scarecrow had found time to learn martial arts. And he was good.
Scarecrow turned around and backhanded him across the face. Dick was slightly shocked at the disrespect and very panicked because it had cracked his rebreather. Crane must have had brass knuckles on or something. There was a Gotham University poster with Batman as a selling point hanging above the couch. Dick needed to grab another mask and stop breathing, but before he finished thinking, Scarecrow sent a punch to his face. Dick needed to stop getting distracted by small things. The force of it knocked his rebreather all the way off.
Dick gasped, sucking in poisoned air. The toxin was already in effect and Dick felt his heartbeat quickening as he began to panic. In this panicked state, he sent wild kicks and punches toward Scarecrow hoping a few would land. Suddenly he heard Scarecrow speak behind him. He whirled around but the room had darkened and Dick could only make out the bare minimum.
"Nightwing, I believe all this fighting has distracted you. Weren't you in charge of this one?" Scarecrow motioned towards the floor and only then did Dick notice the body. Despite the dim room, Dick could make out the kid on the floor perfectly. Tim was covered in blood, his Red Robin suit torn to shreds. Worst of all his chest wasn't moving and his pale face had lost any hints of colour. No. Dick had promised himself this wouldn't happen again. He would be there for the rest of the siblings where he hadn't been for Jason. Hell, he was there for Jason now like he hadn't been when he was 18. How could he have gotten distracted again? How had he not noticed the cries for help?
The joker walked out of the shadows behind Scarecrow chuckling. So this was a joint effort. Dick could hardly control himself as he lunged for the men who had murdered his brothers, aiming for their throats. But a crack of Joker's cane sent him reeling backwards.
"We're not finished talking yet." The joker let him know in a sing-song voice. His chuckles turned to cackles as a bright light filled the room. Dick was temporarily blinded but when his eyes readjusted he wished it had been permanently. There, in a neat row, lay four Robins. Jason, fifteen years old and bruised by a crowbar, the blood from his face mixing into the blood of Tim next to him. Next to Tim lay Steph, legs at unnatural angles and eyes wide in shock. At the end of the line was Damien. His face was twisted in fear and some of his armour was missing, exposing his undershirt that was ragged and ripped. Suddenly, a strained breath escaped Damien and he began twitching. Dick ran over to him, tears streaming down his face and blurring his vision. Right as he touched Damien, the boy stilled.
"No." the word choked Dick as he spoke it. The jokers' chilling laugh seemed to surround him.
"We couldn't finish the Robin set so we grabbed some more bats to make up for it!" Joker laughed in glee. Dick had been rooted to the spot in shock and grief but at those words, he turned around. Scarecrow had captured Cass and hung her upside down, like a punching bag. "Dick!" she tried to call, but it was faint and far away. Next to her was Duke, still in pyjamas, completely still in a heap on the floor. His loud family made no noises now. Not one of them called his name again or bickered with each other. They would stay silent for the rest of Dick's life. No. The grief had washed over him in pain and sorrow, but the rage now hit him like a truck.
Dick let out a howl of fury and started running for Scarecrow. He put everything he had into each punch, every strike meant to kill. He noticed some purple in the corner of his eye and went for it. He'd killed the Joker before and he was ready to do it again. It felt like he was being restrained but nothing would stop him from ending the man in front of him. He wanted to watch the last breath of air leave the Joker, knowing he would never return. The restraints were now more potent than him and all he could do was cry in loss, for the Robins, for his family, for his little siblings. After an infinite amount of time, he blinked and his eyes didn't open again.
—
Dick woke up in a dim room with his legs aching and a stinging on his knuckles. He tasted metal.
"Dickwad?" He heard a voice ask from next to him. That was Jason. Jason was dead. Dick blinked and looked next to him. Jason was in a red hoodie, leaning forward from the chair he was sitting on. His finger was keeping his place in a book and his green eyes looked intently at Dick. Green eyes? And Dick was jerked back to the present. He shot his arm out towards Jason. He had to make sure. Jason tentatively let Dick squeeze his hand.
"Alfred said I should ask if you're dehydrated, nauseous or panicking." Jason listed off on his fingers.
"All three." Dick managed to croak out. His shoulder felt sore like it had been dislocated.
"Tim! Get your ass over here!" Jason yelled through the door to the cave. He was in the medbay and Jason and Tim were down here. Dick began cataloguing injuries; his shoulder was likely popped back in place, his muscles ached from tensing and his knuckles were bandaged. Jason let go of his hand and now Tim was holding it. He recalled fighting Scarecrow. That meant it must have been a hallucination. Jason and Tim were clearly here and alive. Unless this was a grief-induced hallucination. Although he doubted he'd imagine Tim with a black eye.
"Tim, report." Dick said so he would know what was going on.
Tim scoffed lightly but indulged him nonetheless. "You and Cass had gone in to apprehend Scarecrow and save Dr Linda Thell. While Cass extracted Dr Thell you fought Scarecrow, who knocked off your rebreather mask." That would explain why his jaw hurt when he spoke.
"Cass called for backup when she got back to the apartment and took down Scarecrow herself. You were pretty violent so it took us a while to restrain you. Cass dislocated your shoulder and I managed to give you the antidote."
Dick cringed and pointed at Tim's face." Did I do that?"
Tim looked apologetic. "You were under fear gas so it wasn't really you."
In Dick's frenzy about dream Tim dying, he'd punched real Tim in the face. He pulled Tim into a hug, cementing that he was there and real. He apologized profusely and Jason came back into the medbay. He put a glass of water and a tablet on the stand next to Dick's bed. Dick decided to pull Jason into the hug, regardless of any complaints.
Dick knew his greatest fears were about losing his loved ones. He knew how it had hurt when he’d lost Jason and Wally or when he thought he’d lost Bruce. But confronting it as fear was different to confronting it as grief. His family and friends were vigilantes who daily and readily put themselves in danger. Every time someone threatened them or they leapt from buildings that were particularly tall his heart jumped. Every small cut or gaping wound made him feel sick. Dick couldn’t lock everyone up in glass cases to protect them and he wouldn’t stop worrying about them. So he would live with the fear inside of him because the fear was love.
—
After finally managing to stand up without shaking, Dick headed upstairs to the main lounge. Steph and Jason were focusing intently on a videogame, insulting each other as they played. Duke sat on the floor, school work surrounding him and Damien sat on an armchair, munching a sandwich. Steph let out a screech of victory while Jason groaned. Duke laughed and Damien tutted.
“If you had followed my advice you would be enjoying a victory against Brown,” Damien informed Jason. “Not another loss.”
“No advice could save him from being completely destroyed, again!” Stephanie crowed over Jason, who had his head in his hands. She looked up and saw Dick standing in the doorway.
“Feeling better?” She asked.
“Not the worst I’ve ever been!” Dick tried being cheerful. Seeing his siblings interacting never failed to make him smile, but he was still a little shaken from the toxin.
“Glad you’re up, man.” Duke gave him a smile. Jason nodded at him and then got distracted by the game menu that had popped up. Damien set down his plate as he got up, and motioned for Dick to follow.
“You are very shaken.” He let Dick know once they were out of the room.
“Maybe if I had a hug, I’d feel better.” Damien looked unimpressed with him but walked into Dick’s arms nonetheless. He could feel the comforting rhythm of Damien’s heart beating. His little siblings were worth every fear Dick had, and he wouldn’t trade it for the world.