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Snezhnaya is cold. Cold enough to freeze. Cold enough to burn . Kaeya had felt it as he stumbled through the knee-deep snow, that bitter burning cold, its teeth sinking through his skin down to his bones. He had long since felt the numbness creep into his fingers and toes, despite his warm clothes. The wind pulled at him, beckoning him away with icy fingers.
Go home. It howled into his ear. You are not welcome here. You are not safe here. Go home.
But he couldn’t go home. Not yet. He had come so far. He was ever so close. He could not turn back now. Somewhere near, his brother was dying. Bleeding out into the snow.
~~~
The news had come five months before. It was a sunny day in Mondstadt. A warm, kind day. There are no such days in Snezhnaya. It came as a whisper, a rumor shared in the confines of an alley. Had they heard? The Dark Phoenix had struck again, this time in the motherland itself. A few had survived. His victims rarely did. They saw him, this Phoenix, wielding chains of dark fire. He wore a mask, his clothes black as the night itself, save for a coat of crimson to match his burning eyes and hair. To match the river of blood he left in his wake. Was he even human? They didn’t know. He had killed hundreds of their fellow Fatui, never dying, always rising from the ashes of the destruction he wrought. He had been plaguing them for nearly three years. The Tsaritsa would surely send her Harbingers after him soon. She would not turn a blind eye, right? Not when he had invaded the sanctity of her own nation.
They had not known that Kaeya had stumbled across their conversation. That he had been listening intently from around the corner. A man with red hair and eyes. Clothed in black and crimson. One who had been hunting the Fatui for three years… three years. Kaeya wanted to believe it was him. His brother. No… not anymore. They had not been brothers since that day. Diluc had said so as the rain poured down on them in sheets. There had been fire in his eyes then. They burned like his vision as it licked the edges of his greatsword. The vision he had left behind.
They were not brothers anymore. And yet Kaeya worried for him. Worried since the day he’d left. Three years he had been gone. Three years Kaeya had waited for him. For a word. For a letter. For a sign Diluc was even alive. Was it his fault, the other had not returned? Perhaps it was. Many mistakes were made that day, three long years ago.
Three years, this Dark Phoenix had hunted. Now it prowled that frozen nation. Kaeya was not sure it would survive. How long can a flame stay alight in a world of ice?
~~~
Snezhnaya is dark. Rarely do the clouds part there, and when they do, it is for the pale light of the cold dead moon. There was no moon that night however. Only darkness and the heavy fall of snow, white flakes swirling madly in the wind. It was not a night to be caught in the forest, alone and shivering. Even those who called this nation home knew better than to venture out in such weather. But the Harbingers would come for him in the morning, when the storm abated. So it had to be tonight.
~~~
Three months before, Kaeya had infiltrated the Fatui. He’d taken the place of one its members, donning their uniform with a mask to hide his eyes. His hair he’d dyed black. For the last two months he had studied them. How they talked, how they fought. The names by which they called each other. He took every precaution, for he could not afford to be caught. No one could know his plans. Not even the Knights.
The ship that had taken him to that frozen land was one of steel, rather than wood. It was cold and unwelcoming, just as the nation to which it belonged. Kaeya hated it. He hated the men he shared quarters with, as they jeered against the Knights and boasted of their wretched acts or plans. He hated those ranked above him, ordering him around like a slave. He hated how the air grew colder and sharper the further North they went. Kaeya hated it, but no one could know. So he kept that hatred locked away. He played his part well, as befitting a lifelong spy. His father would be proud.
No one would know.
~~~
Kaeya’s hope began to die as he struggled to press on. By then he had lost his way. He could only hope he would find Diluc past the swirling veil of white that surrounded him. He was not one to pray to the archons. He was not one to pray at all. Yet he found his thoughts crying out to any higher power who would hear them.
Please. He pleaded with his heart. Please, let me find him. Let me find my brother. Let me save him.
If Celestia had heard his prayers, he saw no sign of it.
~~~
For three months he had hidden among the enemy. For three months he had kept his senses tuned to any sight or rumor of the Dark Phoenix. For three months reports came and went of the destruction of Fatui outposts. The murder of Fatui agents. By the third month, the Tsaritsa had called her dogs on the Phoenix. All eleven of them. It would not be long now, his comrades whispered to one another. The Phoenix would surely fall.
The reports became fewer after that. The man had gone into hiding, but there were few places left to hide. The times he had been found, he’d fought viciously, but it was only a matter of time until he could fight no longer. Even the brightest of flames are snuffed out in the end.
~~~
Snowflakes had collected within the fur that ringed his hood, his coat, his gloves. A crust of ice that cracked as he moved. Perpetually rebuilding itself. It weighed him down. Or perhaps that was the exhaustion that had settled into his limbs. Kaeya didn’t know. Perhaps it was both. He might die there, he realized. He could not let that happen. Somewhere near, his brother was waiting for him. No, not waiting. Diluc did not know. He was alone, dying. Bleeding out into the snow.
I’m coming. Kaeya wished he could tell him. I’m coming. Hold out a little longer. I will find you. I promise I will find you.
But would it be too late?
~~~
The report had come earlier that day. Kaeya was in the mess hall when it happened. Excited voices had come from the other room. He listened in. Part of him wished he hadn’t.
Three Harbingers had cornered the Phoenix near the base. The Fair Lady had been mortally wounded. Childe had nearly been so. The Knave fought well, but was driven back by the blizzard. It didn't matter, though. The Phoenix too had been gravely wounded. Left to the wilderness, he would undoubtedly perish. A search was to be sent out the next day to retrieve the man’s corpse.
Kaeya’s heart had sunk then. He could wait no longer. It had to be tonight.
~~~
He had all but lost any hope that remained, when something dark appeared ahead of him. Like ink against a frozen parchment. With it was written a script of scarlet splatters and lines. Its message was clear. A chill down Kaeya’s spine. Diluc was dying. Bleeding out in the snow. Somehow Kaeya found the strength to run, though his body cried out for him to stop. He would not stop. Not until his brother was found. Not until his brother was safe. The light of the pyro vision Kaeya grasped was fading. He could not be too late.
When at last the subject of his months of searching came into view, he thought he might cry. From relief, from worry. Kaeya didn’t know. Perhaps it was both. His brother was slumped against a rocky outcrop that shielded him from the wind. He was still as stone. A pitiful pile of wood was stacked in front of him. Blood surrounded him, trailing from the deep wounds that marred Diluc's chest and back. From the gashes on his arm. Kaeya rushed forward, knees buckling as he reached the other, placing a gloved hand gingerly to his brother's face. Was Diluc always so pale? So gaunt?. Frost had gathered on his lashes and hair. Kaeya embraced him, tears falling onto the other’s shoulder, mingling with fresh blood that covered him. There was too much of it. Too much spilt out that ought to have remained within. Diluc shivered weakly in Kaeya’s arms. He was alive. His brother was alive. But he was dying.
With numb fingers Kaeya removed his own cloak and shirt. The latter he tore into strips to wrap Diluc’s wounds with, before returning the former to his own shivering body. Fire. They needed fire. Kaeya took the other’s vision from his coat and pressed it into Diluc’s hand. Its red glow grew ever so slightly brighter. After three long years, it at last had found its owner. Slowly Diluc’s eyes fluttered open. They searched the other’s face drowsily, until recognition dimly sparked within their depths.
“Kaeya?” The man’s voice was weak, hardly more than a whisper.
“It’s me, Diluc. It’s me. You’re going to be alright. I’m here now.”
Diluc’s gaze grew distant. He shook his head, an almost imperceptibly small movement. “No. You can’t be him. I hurt him. He wouldn’t be here for me.” The man’s voice shook with his body, fading more as he spoke.
“It is me. I promise. I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago. Look at me. I’m here.” He pressed the vision harder against the other’s hand. “I brought your vision. It’s here. You can save yourself now. You just need to light a fire. Please Diluc. You can’t die on me. Not here. I won’t let you.”
The other’s hand slowly closed around the vision.
“Yes that’s it. You’ve got it.”
The red gem pulsed weakly. Diluc looked towards his little pile of stick, reaching for them. A spark appeared, small and fragile. It grew slowly as Diluc fed his power into it. The ember turned into a fire, which licked hungrily at the meager offering of wood given to it. Kaeya felt his spirits rise. They were going to make it. He could feel it. If they could last the night, they would be safe. There was a town not far there. Tucked away within it was a post for the adventurer’s guild. He would bring his brother there. Away from the Harbingers. Diluc could be healed. He was going to be alright. Holding out his hands to the flame, Kaeya could sense the aching burn in his fingers as warmth and feeling returned to them. Diluc huddled just a little nearer to the fire. To Kaeya's side. Kaeya held him close. He would share whatever warmth he could. He would not let Diluc die. Not after he’d come so far. If he had to fight Celestia itself, he would. Diluc was all the family he had left. He would not lose him again.
“Kaeya.”
The other turned. Straining to hear Diluc’s voice above the howling of the wind. The man leaned against him, head resting on his shoulder.
“Kaeya I’m cold.”
“I know Diluc. I know. You’ll warm up. I just need to keep the fire going. You’ve done enough. I’ll take care of the rest.”
Already the fire was beginning to die. It needed to be fed, lest it starve. Kaeya would need to find fuel for it. Quickly.
“I need to get more wood, Diluc. I’ll be right back. Just stay here. Stay awake for me. I’ll be back.” Kaeya stiffly brought himself to his feet, his whole body shaking with cold and exhaustion. It begged him to stay. To keep still. He ignored its wishes. As he stood, Diluc reached out for him, grasping his sleeve.
“No… don’t leave me.” Tears had begun to form in his ruby eyes. They left tracks as they slid down his deathly pale face. He looked afraid. “I- I don’t want to be here any more. Please, brother, take me home. I want to go home.”
A knot formed in Kaeya’s throat and his heart ached at Diluc’s pleading tone. At the way the other seemed to put all the strength he had into those words.
Please, brother, take me home.
Brother. Diluc had called him brother. He still loved him. They were still brothers after all. They were going to be alright. They were going to live. Kaeya would make sure of it.
“I will. I’ll take you home Diluc. You just have to hang in a little longer. We’ll go home together. Very soon. I promise.”
Unable to wait any longer, he left the shelter of the stone outcrop. He needed to hurry. He did not want to leave Diluc alone for long. The wind had slackened somewhat. As if to ease his fears. To clear the way so he could find what they so desperately needed. Thank you. He thought. They were going to be alright. He would save them. Soon they could go home. Diluc could finally return, with him. Together, after long three years. It was this thought that gave Kaeya the strength to continue.
The wood did not come easy. Any that might have fallen was buried in the snow, so he was forced to take what he needed from the trees. When the knife he bore was not enough, he summoned blades of ice to pierce through the tough boughs. He stayed out for as long as he could bear, a heap of branches stacked in his arms. He could still see the faint glow of the fire. That was good. As long as the fire lasted, they could make it. Kaeya would venture out for more wood as many times as was needed to keep it fed. He would make it grow until it would warm them completely. They were going to make it through this.
Kaeya waded through the snow, back to where Diluc was waiting for him. He had not been gone long, but the other had fallen asleep again. Red hair spilled down past his shoulders as his head hung.
“No no no, Diluc, you need to wake up. You can’t fall asleep yet.”
Kaeya dropped the wood and hurried to his brother’s side, gently shaking his shoulder. He knew it was not safe for one to sleep when hypothermia had sunk in. Once Diluc was warm he could be allowed to rest. But not yet.
“Diluc, please wake up. I know you’re cold and tired, but you have to stay awake.”
The other did not stir, did not wake. Kaeya realized he could no longer see the white plumes of Diluc’s breath in the frigid air. A pit began to form in his stomach.
“Diluc?”
There was no response. Nothing. In a panic, Kaeya pulled off one glove and pressed it to Diluc’s throat, praying that he would feel the pulse of his brother’s heart. It was still. He felt nothing. Not the slightest remnant of life. The vision still clutched in the other’s hand had gone dark, glassed over like a frost-laden window. Diluc was gone.
Kaeya felt as if his heart had been pulled from his chest, leaving an empty void that sucked the breath from his lungs. His stomach twisted sickeningly. Kaeya pulled his brother to his chest, holding him tightly as tears flooded from his star-touched eyes. He cried out, soundlessly at first, then breaking into an agonized howl that no living creature should be capable of making. Why? Why, why, why? What had he done wrong? He had been so close. Diluc was there. He had been alive. Why now had he been taken from him? Was Celestia so cruel? To give Kaeya hope, only to take it away so suddenly? Was this punishment for the sins his nation had committed? He would take it. He would take all the wrongful punishment Celestia had to give, if only it would leave his loved ones out of it. They did not deserve this. He did not deserve this. Why was it that every time he held something dear, it was taken from him? When would it stop? When he had nothing left to take?
He begged the universe to give Diluc back to him. He pleaded with all the shattered pieces of his heart.
Please. Please. Please! Give him back. Give my brother back. Take me instead! Just don’t take him away. I promised. I promised to bring him home. Give him back, I beg you! I’ll do anything. Just give my brother back to me. Please.
He could almost hear laughter in the howling of the winds. It mocked him. He had been so close, but it was not enough. He had failed. His brother was gone. Kaeya wailed into the night. He didn’t care if anyone heard him. He didn’t care that the fire was growing as dim as Diluc’s vision. He didn’t care as the cold sunk its teeth into him, deeper than before. It could not compare to the suffocating emptiness in his chest. He could not save Diluc. Even after all he had done. The realization struck him like a lance that sent him reeling. He would not even be able to bring the body back. He could not so much as bury him beneath the frozen ground. Diluc would have to be left where he lay in the snow. In a land that was not his own. Alone and abandoned. Kaeya could not feel anything any more. Yet he felt everything at once. Caught in an overwhelming sense of helplessness and dispair. Was this even real? Was he really there? He felt broken, detached. Like the world might disappear around him and leave him in darkness. He could not move. He did not want to move. But if he didn’t, if he let himself stay there, he would remain there forever. And if he did that, who would be left to remember them? To remember his brother. How they would play together in the stream by the mansion. How their father would tuck them in at night. How proud Diluc was when he received his vision. A vision that was now as lifeless as his brother’s eyes.
Snezhnaya is cold. Cold enough burn. Cold enough to kill. It was killing Kaeya now. He tried to revive what little remained of the fire. In that too, he failed. His brother would not die there alone after all, it would seem. How cruel fate was, that he would perish by the very element that had saved him three years ago, laying next to the one he had come there to rescue. It would not be long now, he thought. The cold was beginning to surround him like a warm blanket. He would be with his brother again. Very soon now...
Kaeya awoke to an orange glow. He didn’t remember falling asleep. Everything burned. He was on fire. He wanted to scream. The glowing thing, the source of his pain, floated in front of him. A seelie. The kind he might find in Dragonspine. It was filling him with warmth. With the life that the frigid air had sapped from him. Soon the burning faded, replaced by a blossoming comfort that spread from his limbs down into his chest. As it did, an anger rose in him. An anger towards his savior.
“Why?” He choked, his voice broken and raw from the screams of grief that had torn from his throat. “Why did you save me?”
The seelie did not answer. It was merely there, floating in front of him.
“You could have saved him too. He needed you. Where were you? Where were you?! ” Delirium crept its way into the space where his heart had been. He was shouting now. “Why?! Why couldn’t you have come when he needed you?! He’s dead now! He’s gone! You could have saved him! Why did you save only me?!”
Kaeya’s breath hitched as sobs racked his body, threatening to drown him. He could not take any more grief. He couldn’t. How much more did he have to bear? How much more could he bear, before his heart would no longer be able to recover? Before it shattered completely. Before he broke.
The seelie had no answer for him. Of course it didn’t. It was a spirit, nothing more. Kaeya stood, tears still rolling down his face. The winds had changed. The outcropping no longer shielded him from those sharp icy fingers. The seelie retreated a short ways from him, silently beckoning him to follow. Kaeya looked back at his brother. He could not leave him. He could not bring him either. He laid the other down in the snow as best he could, folding his hands over his chest. Diluc’s red hair splayed around his head like a fiery halo. Kaeya once again held Diluc’s vision in his hand. It was cold and dark, like the nation its owner had died in. It, at least, Kaeya would bring back. This last remnant of his brother. The seelie waited for him patiently. Kaeya followed it. He did not know where it was leading him. He didn’t really care.
The snow was deep. Kaeya stumbled frequently. Though the seelie kept him warm, it could do nothing for the weariness in his limbs. Still he pressed onward. The zephyrs wailed in his ears, an echo of his own cries, whipping around him and pulling him with unseen talons. Still, he pressed onward. Snow closed in around him on all sides. He could see nothing but the steady orange light ahead of him. He pressed on, and on, and on. Did the night never end? Would he be trapped there forever? Perhaps he had already died, and this was hell. It felt like it. He didn't think he could continue much longer. Finally the looming pines gave way to clear open space. Kaeya found himself by a shoreline. The wind subsided. The snow eased. The horizen brightened with a faint rosy hue through the thinning clouds. Daybreak had come. Kaeya had escaped. He alone, had escaped. His brother had not. His brother was gone. Diluc was never coming back.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered. Diluc’s vision had remained in his hand. He could not risk losing it. Never. He could not part with it. It was all he had left of his brother. “I couldn’t save you. I’m sorry.”
The seelie had stopped before the water. It went no further. Houses could be seen not far away, but Kaeya has pressed himself as far as he could go. He sank to his knees, darkness closing in on him. His limbs were no longer his to control. He fell, ice grating painfully against his cheek. Then felt no more, save the sorrow that clung to him like a shadow.
Three days he had slept. Three days he had been dead to the world. Not even dreams could reach him in that dark place. When he finally woke, a numbness had settled into the void in his chest. It kept his grief under a veil. He could feel it still, but it no longer drowned him.
A woman stood next to the bed on which he was laid. Her face was old and weathered, but there was a kindness in her eyes. She told him that she had found him lying next to the water. She’d brought him inside. Cared for him, in the hopes that he would recover. She hadn’t been sure he would. He was lucky to be alive, she told him.
He asked if there was any news from the Fatui of the Harbingers or the Dark Phoenix. She told him that three Harbingers had fought the man they called the Dark Phoenix. One had been killed, the other two had lost him to the blizzard. The man’s body had been found the next day, and was burned on a pyre.
Were it not for the numbness in his chest, in his heart, Kaeya would have started crying then. Perhaps it was best he hadn’t. He still wore his Fatuus uniform, and a member of the Fatui would not shed tears over a man who had murdered hundreds of his comrades, and a Harbinger as well. The woman asked him to stay a little while longer, but he could not. He did not want to spend another minute in that place. In that nation. As he left the wooden cottage, the numbness was quickly giving way to burning hatred. The Fatui had done this. The Fatui had taken Diluc from him. They had stolen then burned his body. He tightly grasped the faded vision. He would kill them. Every one of them. He would finish what his brother had started. He would not stop until the ten remaining Harbingers were dead. He would-
A warm glow appeared from behind. He turned quickly to face it. The seelie floated serenely next to him. Had it waited for him there? He stepped towards it, but it did not retreat. Did not invite him to follow.
“What?” He asked it sharply. “What do you want? If you need to lead me, lead me. Don’t just float there, I can’t understand you.”
Suddenly the seelie grew brighter, changing to a formless light. The light swirled around him, before settling into the object he clutched so desperately in his hand. The vision glowed faintly once more, and Kaeya heard a voice whisper softly,
Brother, take me home.
Tears welled in his eyes. Diluc?… he had been there after all. He had protected Kaeya, even after Kaeya had failed to save him. He had led Kaeya to safety.
“I will.” Kaeya choked, staring into his brother’s flickering vision. “I will, Diluc. I promise. We can go home now. Together.”
The journey back to Mondstadt was long. News of Dark Phoenix’s death had spread like the wildfire his brother once wielded. Kaeya held his tongue, held his broken heart. He would not let them know. He would play his part. He was going home. Just a little while longer, and he would be home. They both would be.
Adelinde had greeted him with tears. She told him of their worries. Begged him never to leave like that again. He wouldn’t. He had no need to. Not anymore. The Knights, too, had worried for him. Where had he gone? They asked. Why did he leave? He could not answer them. Not then.
Kaeya stood before the grave of their father. His real father. Not the man that had abandoned him in the rain all those years ago. Next to it, another stone was set. A new stone, the name of his brother inscribed upon its smooth face. He placed a cluster of asters beneath the headstone, then stood back reverently.
“You’re home now, Diluc. I kept my promise. You’re home.”
The light of the vision pulsed once. Then it faded away entirely, and Kaeya cried.